A Mess In A Mess Caused A Mess

This past Sunday I was down at the creek behind my house wandering around to see what I was up against. I have spent the last few summers clearing the area behind my property because it seems that it is a choke point where all the junk from up the creek ends up. There is one area that is so narrow that in the heat of the summer one can almost walk across it without getting their shoes wet. This seems to be a favored spot for all things in the creek to just give up and stop. It doesn’t seem to help when an old tree falls in a recent thunderstorm and chokes it off completely. Which is what I found. In the beginning I was kind of happy it fell from across the creek and not from my actual property and then reality set in and I realized this was going to make it harder to pull out and cut up since the base of the tree was on the other bank. As you can see it has already created a blockage and once it starts it takes a fair amount of time to get it all hauled out. After assessing the mess I went back up to my shop to get my tractor, a chain, a chainsaw, and my son. After getting everything together my son and I roll down to the creek in the tractor. He is getting at driving the Beast. He backed it into position, although I wasn’t real happy with the angle of decent, so I had him pull out and reposition so it would be safer. The overall plan was to drag the tree across the creek so I could cut it up. Then load everything into the bucket of the tractor and take it to the burn pile. So far so good, we are ready to start the yank across the creek with my son at the wheel of the Beast. The whole operation took about four hours of solid work for my son and I. After we loaded the last load of wood into the bucket I told my son to go dump it into the pit and then go hose down the Beast.
After all the work was done my neighbor comes down to see what all the noise and commotion was all about. Perfect timing since we are done now. After telling him what we had been up to for the last few hours he asked if I had a little time to talk. Sure, why not. y’all might remember my neighbor Charles from other posts I have written talking about my very Christian neighbor. If not, y’all will need to go back and review. For those who remember, good for you, we can continue. Charles wanted to inform me of changes I would be seeing next door as well as ask me for some needed assistance. So, I bite, he has me curious. He went on to explain that he will be moving out within the next day or so and probably won’t be back. My curious side took over and asked him what was going on and where are they going in such a rush. He stopped me right there, they were not all going to be leaving, just him. Charles went on to explain that they are having difficult times in their marriage and as a result he was told to leave and that she wants an immediate divorce. He said he has been stying in a hotel for the last week or so because she won’t talk to him any further. Anyway, she gave him permission to come home and pick his belongings up which she packed and set in the garage. Her and their three teenage daughters were out running errands at the time and she felt this was the best time for him to come since the girls are unaware of the pending divorce. So, he loaded his Escalade up with his boxes and when he was getting ready to leave he heard us back here and headed down to see what was going on hoping it was me since he had a favor to ask me which he laid out next. He wants me to look after his property, mowing and such in his absence because he knows the house will be going up for sale soon since she will not be afford to live there without his income. I never knew his bride didn’t work. However, they are not definite in any plans, but he does know she has spoken to a lawyer already. To say the least, I wanted to know what happened so I bit the bullet and asked Charles if he would mind telling me what had happened to set her off into instantly wanting a divorce. Hell, what do I know, this could have been coming for years. My knowledge of them is what I see across the fence and what he tells me in the past, which hasn’t been much come to find out.

At first he was reluctant to really go into any details. After a deep sigh Charles explains to me that he would rather I heard it all from him rather than through the grapevine. He reminds me that he has been married for 18 years to his wife. Together they have three daughters, 7, 13, and 17. However, about 6 years ago he found that their marriage was in a slump because he was no longer interested in his wife sexually. So, completely by accident, at a church function, he met someone who really understood him and his sexual desires. At first it was all about the sex, this person brought out everything his wife wasn’t able to. I thought this strange to be telling me, but okay. Charles went on to explain that this relationship is still in full swing which is why he is in the doghouse with his wife. Recently, a few weeks ago, she began to suspect that he may be cheating on her. So, she began asking him subtle questions. Behind his back she was looking through texts on his phone, phone records, and people he was associated with. Quite by accident, he says, she found out the truth and was not happy with any of it. He knew the day would come and never knew exactly how she would handle any of it but didn’t think she would be acting this extreme. But, as he found out, she believes the relationship has crushed their marriage with the lies, the sneaking, and the deceit. In the end, he doesn’t blame her for the anger she feels towards him and understands that she is really pissed. Just when we were about to wrap up the conversation he tells me it is time for him to go and he has someone waiting in the car on him. Fair enough, I will do what I can, when I can, with your yard and stuff. About that time a man comes down the trail, he sees us talking, and proceeds to approach us. He asked Charles if he was ready to get going since they had some stuff to pick up before it gets to late. He introduced himself to me as Robert. After he shook my hand he reached down to hold Charles’ hand. Charles paused and told Robert that he was just explaining their relationship to me so I would have an idea of what was going on. In my head I am thinking…………did I miss something? Hand in hand the went back up the trail and disappeared into the trees. Ummm, what in the hell just happened?

Later in the evening my wife went next door to talk with Beth to see if she needed anything. My wife being herself, she took a bottle of chilled wine and some snacks, hoping she would talk to her, woman to woman. It didn’t take long and they began to talk some. Beth explained that they will be putting their house up for sale very soon due to some very unforeseen changes in their current marital status. After some talking for a while my wife said Beth kinda broke down, she could see the tears in her eyes and told Beth that she could talk to her if she wanted to, no worries. Since her daughters were all upstairs getting ready for bed Beth told my wife that she is heartbroken with everything that has been going on with her husband. She is angry with her husband for what he has done to her, their family, and to their marriage. Then she dropped in my wife’s lap with how upset that she is that Charles has been having sex with this man and then coming home and having sex with her for quite a long time. Beth said that she thought their marriage was going pretty good for sometime now and then she started noticing changes in him that she didn’t understand fully. He was asking her to do things sexually that have never been talked about between them ever before and out of the blue here they were. She didn’t go into any kind of detail with my wife except that she thinks back and can remember when the things sexually in their relationship began to change but thought that the counseling they were in had given new insight to trying new things in the bedroom. Overall, she feels let down by Charles because they have been living such a big lie. She got to the point where he had to move out because she could not stand to look at him. She has forbidden him to speak to their daughters about why they are now separated. They think he is out of town on business but that won’t last forever. Beth doesn’t want her girls to know that their dad is choosing life with another man over her. After they exchanged their goodbyes and condolences, my wife headed home. I am sure there is some things she isn’t telling me, small details of sorts. My wife is kinda upset with Charles. She told me that never in a million years did she expect to find out that our neighbors would be splitting up because he has a boyfriend who he is choosing to be with over his wife and daughters.

My wife asked what I thought about all of this going on. Well, it’s actually none of my business and I am just as surprised as everyone else. Well, not as surprised as Beth I am sure. This all got me thinking a bit, knowing now for sure that their house will be going up for sale. I need to look into that pretty good because if the price is right I would like to buy it. Why? It’s simple, I would rent it. What better way to pick your neighbors than to own the house they live in. Plus, it’s on a good plot of property, right around 4 acres. I could use a little extra land in the back of mine down by the creek. Who knows, I suppose I should run this by my wife. She might not see all of this as an opportunity.When we bought our property we did try to buy that lot but were told somebody had already put money down on it. I did, however, buy both lots to the left of me. I didn’t want my neighbors and their lives into mine without them putting forth a little effort to get to me. I don’t know what to say about Charles. I guess, good for him finding what he was looking for in a relationship. On the other side I feel bad for his wife and family since his actions will ultimately change their lives as well. Proves to say that one never knows their neighbors as well as we think we do. I am just glad it was an affair and not something like they were running a prostitution sex ring out of their house or them having a meth lab or something where the law had to get involved. Domestic issues get messy but in the end nobody has gone to jail for doing anything stupid yet.


Girls, Girls, Girls, And More Girls!

In a few ways I really miss being a bartender. In a few ways I even miss being a bartender in a full nude strip bar. The environment in a strip bar is very different than working in a regular bar or even in a restaurant. Y’all might be thinking that the only real difference would be the scenery. In many ways y’all would be right assuming that. However, as a person that has worked at a multitude of bars in a variety of settings, I can personally say that the strip bar is totally a different world. Most things can be considered a bit upside down, a bit strange, and definitely very loud. I enjoy going out places that provide bar services because I enjoy watching people. There is no better place to watch people than in a bar. Well, unless you consider a busy mall, say a few days before Christmas, which is just plain insanity if you want to know what I actually think. I think the best thing about the strip bar is that every night of the week is a party from open until close and then the party generally doesn’t end. Can y’all tell I have spent way too much time behind the bar at strip clubs? This weekend was no different. Against my will I was asked to arrange a bachelor party since it was known I had some kind of connections on the inside at a very large, very prominent full nude strip bar. When I asked what the budget was, I was told that money was not an option. I believe it, I know the people involved. My friend, Mike, who I have known for about fifteen years, has a great job. The young man that is getting married soon is 25 and works with Mike. So, this falls into it’s a party for a friend of a friend. I don’t know him or his future wife so I don’t know what he likes. I was told that whatever I could pull off that the friend, Daniel, would like, enjoy, and he would be totally surprised. I made a few phone calls. Then, I made a few more phone calls. I made some special arrangements. Then the deal was set, the party was a go. The guest list had 56 people on it. From my understanding, some of Daniel’s family was a part of it all.

This past Saturday was the big day for Daniel and all of his friends and family. Little did I know in the beginning that this entire operation was going to cost me personally. In order to pull this off I am required to be the bartender for the open-bar (pre-paid at $6,000.00) being provided for the bachelor party. All the dancers who are to provide personal entertainment to the party were also pre-paid $7,500.00 which will be split between 10 of them who will be 100% dedicated to the party only for 4 hours. I knew in advance that other dancers will be available as part of their rounds who will be dancing solely for tips. Which is the boat I am in, I am doing it for tips alone as well. The last deposit made was to the club to cover whatever at $1,500.00 which is non-refundable. If you have been following, they dropped $15,000.00 to make this party happen. And, that is only the beginning of the money to be spent. Mike provided limo service for the bachelor and a select number of other people who were at the pre-party party. I arrived around 3 hours early to get set up. I was provided one barkeep to help me out so it wasn’t too bad. Daniel did not know the destination of the limo and nobody was allowed to say anything. So when the limo arrived Daniel was a little surprised. Now, I know why he is surprised because I was already told, Daniel is a virgin. Daniel was greeted at the limo by two angels dressed in very sheer white lingerie. He was then paraded throughout the entire club in a procession of dancers. Meanwhile, the rest of the party was seated and orientated to the club, it’s features, and the staff that would be in charge of their every desire. I have seen more than a few of these parties but this one would definitely be one of the top two. Close to the end of the parade Daniel is led up to the main stage and introduced to the entire club. Every dancer in the club introduced herself to Daniel on stage in one way or another. I think he was actually enjoying himself and the party hasn’t even begun to get going yet. Finally he is walked over to a giant red and black velvet covered throne which sits around two feet higher than the rest of the chairs. He was assigned his personal assistant by the applause of the crowd. This dancer is to help Daniel have a good time and assure that whatever he needs is delivered promptly. Now he has the look of disbelief on his face, you know the one, where someone was caught off guard and presented the winning lottery check for 10 million dollars and the keys to his new mansion, yea, that look.

The evening progressed nicely and everything was going pretty smooth. I was up to my old tricks at the bar doing drinking dares with dancers, serving shots on and in the strippers, and of course made some of the best flaming drinks I think I have ever done. How could I have ever grown tired of all this? The party exceeded their pre-paid open bar by right at $4,000.00 and that didn’t stop them from any drinking once so ever. Scuttle butt has it that the 10 assigned dancers made well over $5,000.00 in tips and the roaming dancers made between $500.00 and $1,500.00 a piece, it just depended on how much time they spent dancing for the party. How much did I make in tips? Well, I worked for 5 hours for the party and made just shy of $4,200.00 while doing it. So, it was well worth my time I think. I am sore tho, my shoulder is killing me, and I have an hour drive to get home. I watched as the party broke up, many of them stayed, moving out into the general population of the club and continuing to keep the party going. However, when it was over, I did notice that Daniel and a few family members did leave the club. I only hung out long enough to get things cleaned up and talk to a few friends I haven’t seen in some time now. I was actually surprised at how many strippers I actually recognized since this isn’t usually a profession where longevity is something seen to often. I have mentioned that before I think, how the doors to a strip club are revolving, people in and people out on a very regular basis. Of course, the owner, my old boss, asked if I wanted my job back for the 100th time since I quit in just over 8 months. I declined. It’s fun for the money on occasion, but I like only doing it on occasion. Funny thing was that I was home by midnight, my wife was up still because she was reading a really good book. We talked for a bit, she asked how much I made, so I told her. She said she will enjoy her half, I laughed, she just held her hand open. She told me to use the money I have left and get a head start on my new truck. She said she knew that was the only reason I went to do this gig was to get some started cash to begin work on the new truck project. Actually, I never thought of that, I was thinking this would pay for my surgery on my shoulder nicely and make it were I could be off work for a few weeks unpaid. Well, it was my intention.

So, I got the call this morning from Mike. He said that this was the best bachelor party he has ever been to and he knows who to call the next time. Thanks, Mike. Maybe this would be a good time to change my number! I also was called by Daniel who invited me and my wife out to dinner with him and his future wife when they get back from their honeymoon. I can’t figure out why, but what the hell, right. I have had goofier things happen to me in my life. I called my wife and she said that the party had to have been pretty damn good if both of those called. What can I say, my friends know how to throw a party.