Fences Make Me A Great Neighbor


Not the way you remember hearing the old saying? It’s my twist because it makes more sense to me, plus I could really give a shit if I have good neighbors or not. Mine know I don’t want them in or around my yard. For the newbies reading here today, my house sits on 11.93 acres of land somewhere way outside the city of Houston. Now, we live in what’s called an “acreage neighborhood” where all the homes sit on a few acres. Just so happens that when I bought my “lot” that I bought the two lots available to the left and the one lot available to the right. Why? Because I wanted my neighbors to have to put some work into it when they would choose to be nosey. After almost 10 years I would say the experimental theory has been a success because I barely know my neighbors, just the damn way I like it. Within the almost 12 acres there is a roughly 4 acre pond which was dug so I could build up where my house would be built, as well as level out what would become my yard. Also, there is 3ish acres of a densely wooded area which butts up to a feeder creek off of the San Jacinto river. Everything else is mowed as my yard and has a wooden fence around it.

Well, after the storm last night I found a tree had fallen on a section of my wooden fence way in the backyard. This explained why the breaker for the electric circuit had been tripped. Yes, it’s a partially electrified fence. Why? To keep the criiters, varmints, and the neighbors dogs from digging under the fence and getting into my yard. Don’t worry, out in this area its only putting out about 2000 volts. But, the tree seems to have damaged the line by completing the circuit, hence tripping the breaker. At least the mystery is solved, I figured I would find a dead animal of sorts out in the back, not a tree on the fence. Since I located this so late in the afternoon all I really felt like doing was exactly what I did, take a picture of it, well, actually about a dozen. Why? I needed them to show to the insurance company to show the damage. The adjustor will be out Monday morning to make a report so I can’t touch it until afterwards. If it were endangering life or property then I can, but its just a fence so I was told to wait. Waiting is not something I am good at, especially when there is so much work to do. Meanwhile, the neighbor on that side figured out I was back there and decided he wanted to have a 30 minute chat about absolutely nothing, in fact I don’t even remember as I sit here writing this.

When I tell my wife what had happened and what went on with the insurance she went off on one of her tangents and wants me to look into having the tree removed by someone and the fence repaired by someone. She didn’t ask when I would be taking care of it, she wanted to know when someone else was going to do it. There will be nobody else doing any of it because I want to do it. Plus, I have the kids to help me out, so it will be fine. On top of that, I finally got my favorite tool on the planet running again after it died on me back in March, I thought it was really dead, but it runs like a screaming chainsaw banshee now. So I’m good to go. Y’all were aware that every man has his favorite tool? My dad’s is a 50 year old flathead screwdriver, my son’s is an old roofing hammer, mine is, well, mine is the fine machine pictured below, its probably the most useful and versatile tool I have ever owned. Next week I put it to the test, next week I will see if bringing it back to life was worth it, next week the chips will fly. Fuck calling a tree removal company, fuck someone else fixing my fence, I will do it my way. My wife knows this already, she was just trying to be cute and see if she could ruffle a few feathers. The adventure never ends in our marriage, but that is life as well, shit happens, we could cry about it or take care of it. Some of us know the right answer, the others call a tree removal company.


18 responses to “Fences Make Me A Great Neighbor

  1. As soon as I took a look at your chainsaw, I started laughing. There is a face looking at me with a scared expression. Did you see it? The bolt nuts are the eyes, and there’s a rectangular indentation under them for the scared mouth.

    I enjoyed your treatise about your neighbors and your privacy wishes and looking forward to using your old chainsaw. It looks like it will do a good job. But be gentle with it. It’s already worried. 🙂


    • Now that’s funny. No, I had never noticed the “scared face” before but now that I do see it it reminds me of the faces that the Lego guys have, forever frozen with that same expression no matter what is happening. Hopefully it puts its game face on next week, maybe it needs a shiny new “Punisher” sticker, since that is the nickname my son gave it many years ago because that is what it does, punishes everything in its oath.

      I’m glad that you enjoyed the post and that it put a smile on your face. The world needs more smiling people and more simple reasons to smile. I’m sure the old beast will do fine, although I may need to think about retirement for it sooner than later.


  2. Dear friend ….. GM! This post has answered some question I was getting ready to ask. Not being mosey bit interested in your property, the ducks, the creek, the pond, the animals. Have to say ….. I like the way you live. If I could that would be my way. I feel the same about neighbors …. Now, mind you, not about tools. That would b MJ’s dept. Every day you amaze me.
    I would be the one calling “someone” to fix it. Lol!
    A see a post coming up when you’re done.
    Again, you remind me of some of my patients. I’m sending you a tight Latin hug!!


    • We live in our own little slice of Texas. Is it paradise? Is it hell? Is it in the country? It is a place where we have all grown up over the years. Ah, the wildlife………my nemesis at arm each day. We have, depending on the time if year, ducks, geese, possums, raccoons, about 10,000,000 squirrels, hogs, hogs, deer, many different birds, a red tail hawk couple (my daughter feeds them, calls them Scarlett & Rhett), a variety of snakes, and so forth.

      The creek is a feeder creek or bleeds of the river, not sure, but its a fun place to explore to say the very least. Out here we have all the convenience of being in a stacked up neighborhood, without the stacked up congested parts. I have built allot in this property over the short years, a shop, a garage to hold my junk (tractor and and other stuff), a “smokehouse”, a gazebo if sorts at the pond for shade, and if course, a wood fence around two sides if the property, an iron/wood fence at the front of the property, and my favorite thing of all, my gigantic hammock (from a friend in El Salvador) that hangs over my deck, shaded by the trees in the afternoon heat, perfect because I nap in it every day.

      Did this help any? Ask me what you will, I’m sure there is much I haven’t said. I like the hug, need more of those in life. This place is good for me, it let’s me be me.


    • And, if I may add, to brag a bit, I have one of the few yards in southeast Texas that has a ZERO fire-ant population. I hate fire-ants and keep my yard fed/treated so I can walk pretty much anywhere barefoot and the grass is lush and fire-ant free. Except on the east side of the pond, its overgrown and has a weird ecology of its own.


  3. I very much enjoyed reading the back and forth banter between Horty and you (don’t know your name). And I’m not “trying to get in a word edgewise.” 🙂 You are so very fortunate to be able to enjoy the life you are living. I, too, feel lucky that I can express myself on WP as I do, on my 2 blogs. One is dedicated to my 3 cats. Have a nice day tomorrow!


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