7 Myths About Christmas Explained

One time each year, the world acts civilized for a few weeks. The “holiday” season brings out feelings and thoughts of goodwill and brotherhood in the masses, who would normally be at each other’s throats, for one reason or another. It’s a sad as shit commentary on the state of things that humans can set aside their differences and actually be nice to complete strangers, but just long enough to say “Happy Holidays” instead of Merry Christmas so nobody gets their their fucking panties in a knot.


I say Merry Christmas. Get over it.

Beginning on Black Friday, the day just after Thanksgiving, although it was on Thanksgiving day this year in the United States, the Christmas season is an officially open invitation for Americans to go on a retail feeding frenzy. As long as you’re not battling your way through the mall or other retail big box stores, someone will offer you good wishes for your holiday season. You may, however, be surprised by the number of widely held beliefs that are inaccurate, misinterpreted, or just plain wrong in regards to the Christmas season. Here’s a look at some of the most common Christmas holiday misconceptions, and how they came to be.

#1 Who Wrote “’Twas The Night Before Christmas”?

An anonymous New York resident submitted this well-known verse, “A Visit From St. Nick,” to the Troy Sentinel in 1823. Clement C. Moore, a local professor and poet, claimed it in 1836, though its structure and style matched none of his other published works. Another family in the area came forward to state that their patriarch had been reciting the poem to them each Christmas Eve since at least 1809. Many suspect that the verse came over with Dutch settlers, because of all the cultural references mentioned in the work. Regardless of its origins, the majority of people are familiar with this poem, but don’t have a clue who gets the credit for writing it or it’s actual origin.

#2 Are Real Christmas Trees A Fire Hazard?

Every year, of the millions of Christmas trees put up all over the world, only a small percentage of fires occur that can be traced back to shitty wiring. Generally, the problem is faulty or overloaded wiring, and not the actual tree, that is to blame. Fire safety experts advise that a real tree is no more hazardous than artificial trees, as long as people are “smart” and remember to keep it watered. But hey, we live in the land of blaming inanimate objects for short comings, why change and accept responsibility once a year. Safety? Fuck safety, we need more fucking lights! Right? Right.

#3 Was Jesus Born On December 25th?

Oddly enough, though bible scholars agree that Christ was more likely born in late Spring or early Autumn, many people still subscribe to the belief that Christmas day is the actual date of his birth. Too many seasonal signs in the scriptures point to the likelihood that he was born during a warmer time of the year. The presence of shepherds in the fields is one of the more blatant signs, but I’m just saying. Centuries later, the Roman Catholics were spreading Christianity to the far reaches of Europe, and trying to assimilate the masses of heathens by superimposing the Christian faith over the pagan traditions already in place. In an attempt to overshadow the pagan celebration of the Winter Solstice, one of Christianity’s more important holy days was intentionally scheduled for December 25th.

#4 Is Christmas The Most Important Christian Holiday?

It may be surprising for many people to discover that, while the celebration of the birth of Christ ranks high in the religious charts, in the eyes of theologians, it comes in second. The birth of the Son of God is an important earmark in history, but the more notable spiritual moment occurred when Christ’s divinity was proven – at his resurrection. Easter marks the historical point where Jesus stopped being a man, and became immortal, and religious scholars consider this the most important landmark in the Christian faith. Interesting enough, the actual date of Easter is also in question, as its springtime celebration coincides suspiciously with the pagan fertility ritual, Ostara, which is where we get Easter eggs and bunnies. Sneaky, huh?

#5 Did Three Kings Visit Jesus In The Manger?

The bible does not say anything about kings visiting Jesus, at any time during his childhood. Scripture states that three wise men followed an exceptionally bright star in the east, finding their way to the Son of God, and bestowing expensive gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. Since these alleged ‘wise men’ still believed in astronomical portents, and none of them had a Eurail pass, it is more likely that the magi caught up with Jesus around his first birthday. Centuries later, a mosaic in Ravenna, Italy, depicted the ‘gifts of the magi,’ and the names of the ‘three kings,’ Gaspar, Melchior, and Balthasar became part of this nativity myth and is still alive and kicking today.

#6 Is It Sacrilegious To Shorten Christmas To “X-Mas?”

The sad truth behind this myth simply illustrates how little modern Christians know about this holiday. Contrary to the belief that people who write “X-mas” are taking Christ out of Christmas, the habit of abbreviating the name is based on the Greek spelling of Christ, “Χριστός.” The Roman spelling also starts with an X. Entomologically, the argument could be made that people who write Christmas as X-mas are keeping the “Christ” in Christmas. This whole ‘X’ thing probably appeals to American rednecks, who can’t spell worth a shit, I know this personally.

#7 Are Santa Claus, Saint Nicolas And Father Christmas The Same Person?

The modern interpretation of Santa Claus, at least in America, is an amalgam of characteristics from several traditions; however, each of these traditions had very different points of origin.

Saint Nicolas was a Turkish bishop who, around the fourth century, dedicated his life to giving to the poor. He died on December 6th, so when the church canonized him, this date became St. Nicolas Day. In the 15th century, as attention focused back onto Christmas, and less on December 6th, Christians of that era wanted to keep the gift-giving tradition, and he became Father Christmas. The Dutch brought St. Nick to the New World, calling him sinterklaas. So, in America at least, Santa Claus is the modern representation of these varied cultures.

These widely held, but incorrect, beliefs don’t dampen the holiday spirits. It is more common these days for everyone to get their panties in a twist when someone says “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays.” Let’s face facts, not everyone celebrates Christmas, but my family and I do, hope that doesn’t get anyone’s ass all chapped. In reality, those who don’t celebrate Christmas don’t offend me, to each his own, the end. Many of your neighbors celebrate Hanukkah, or Kwanza or some will even argue with you to say they are the real Christians who do not believe in Christmas. These days it’s not uncommon to find new age pagans and wiccans, celebrating the Winter Solstice. Count yourselves lucky that, despite your differences, total strangers are willing to extend you the tidings of peace, brotherhood, and goodwill. Considering the intolerance that is so common in the Christian faith and throughout the world, take what you can get from your non-Christian neighbors, and don’t make problems where there aren’t any.

Regardless, of how – or what – you celebrate, have a safe and Merry Christmas season, and a prosperous New Year. So, there you have it, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it, Merry Christmas from The Sting Of The Scorpion Blog.

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Y’all Have Clicked These Pictures Allot

When I get super bored I look at the statistics for T.S.O.T.S.B. to see what leads y’all here and to see what links/pictures y’all click the most. Y’all might not know but this particular blog has only been around here on wordpress for 14 months and some changes. In 14 months I have tried my best to have a vast array of different posts, different shares, and a handful of staple regulars. Two of the most popular “features”, as told by the statistics and comments, are the Bartender Stories and The Magic Weekend stories. I shouldn’t find it odd that those two areas of my blog are the most searched and sought after, but I really do. The biggest complaint I get from readers is that I censor some of the pictures I post, I get told I operate using a double standard because I oppose censorship yet I enforce it strictly on my blog. Eventhough I have explained that I wish to keep my blog at a PG rating to a NC17 rating. Plus, I know people, and I know people have a grand enough imagination to put back in what I’ve censored out.

Associated with the above links, I give you the #1 picture that gets “clicked” here, in 14 months y’all clicked the below picture 8892 times.


The #2 picture that gets “clicked” comes in at 6389 times.


The #3 picture that gets “clicked” comes in at 4129 times.


The #4 picture that gets “clicked” comes in at 3956 times.


The #5 picture that gets “clicked” comes in at 3921 times.


Note to reader, not ALL of these 5 pictures are found on the panel to the right, y’all had to hunt for a couple of them. In the end I’m very happy that my “advertising” interests readers enough to click on the picture. So, I guess the big question I have for y’all is what makes y’all click what y’all are clicking? Also, I would like to add that every single one of the links to the right get very regular daily clicks, which I appreciate y’all looking at my blogging friends as well. It will be interesting to check back in a year to see what the picture statistics look like then. Well, that’s if T.S.O.T.S.B. is still around.

Dedicated dark poetry for today: If I Never Wake Again…

Always courageous and amazing!


I wrote this poem for a friend of mine and I dedicate it to him as well.

Don’t give up ❤


If I Never Wake Again

Given up on


Given up on


If I never wake again

At least there’s no more


I tried

To overcome

But it’s all so


Just tell me why

Why should I even


When everything


Always fails

If I never wake again

At least I will go


No more


Only numbness

Love and Happiness

They’re just for


I have nothing left

Only emptiness


Inside of me

If I never wake again

At least I can escape this


I won’t be a loss

To anyone

Living this life

I’m just done

‘Cause what’s the use?

Suffering from Life’s


If I never wake again

At least I can let


(don’t let go)

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Don’t Fuck Shit Up…………….

“Do your part and try not to fuck up anything up today. It’s only Tuesday, you have the rest of the week to fuck something up. Repeat after me…….”I will not fuck shit up today, I will not fuck shit up today, I will not fuck shit up today”

Now, how many of y’all can do it?”


Some of y’all who check me out on Facebook may have seen me post that early this morning. I don’t expect many saw the status update, well, because I don’t have many Facebook friends. Why does any of that matter? Well, it doesn’t actually, that little pick-me-up above was based in part on a conversation I had with my wife and some stupid bullshit I saw in the news and then later heard on the radio. See if y’all can follow me here, because it could get complicated trying to have everyone get where I’m coming from. You know me, I try to keep it simple and keep philosophy out of the equation, but I think writing this post will give me a chance to fucking vent without having to physically yell at someone? Comprendo?

I lead a pretty simple life and that is achieved only because I don’t complicate it with unnecessary bullshit or drama. It wasn’t easy to achieve but with some very hard work I was able to figure it out and maintain that lifestyle. I know, yay fucking me, right? This morning at 4 am I get a call from my dad, whom I consider to be a closet racist, meaning only speaking in true openness to close family and friends. Lucky me, I’m the only son, who still to this day tries to convert to hate people because of their color, culture, language, or country of origin. He’s not very picky either, I’ve always said there isn’t anyone special, he hates everyone for one reason or another. Anyway, he called to tell me to have a safe day since the verdict and lack of indictment was going to have “everyone” acting stupid. I’ll spare y’all the racial slurs. From experience, he tells me, there are mixed races working on a construction site which causes tension beyond all the normal machio machesemo, and that’s racial shit that they can’t even deal with in their own, so I better keep an eye out for the crazies before they snap. OK, gotcha. End of call. Luckily, somewhere in my youth I realized I wasn’t like him and I wouldn’t live my life like that, but that too is a double edged sword because our society and culture refuse to see beyond skin color. In a way, truly being color blind gives me an advantage, y’all just think on that for a while. From my vantage point, color seems to get in the way of just being human. Anyway.

Beyond that my wife and I then discuss the conversation I just had with my dad. He used to piss me off, now I just humor him without debate so it can end faster, no fuel no fire mentality for me. My only thing I ask is how in the fuck does that trial impact me. It doesn’t. But others are different, they got to fuck shit up to show society they are unhappy and that white people are the cause of ALL their problems. If course, I simplified that a bit, but you get my point. So, like always, more laws get broke, more life gets put at risk, property gets damaged, and so forth. For what? Because a decision got made that wasn’t approved of? Ah, right, no we got to loot and fuck shit up because in our minds an injustice has been served. Fuck off, go home. Of course, the opinions of a simple fuck like me speaking common sense falls on deaf ears because I don’t feed that line of bullshit. Plus, I wasn’t there and therefore I can’t judge what happened. What do you want me to do, believe the news? Believe the race baiters? Why can’t I believe a police officer who was trained, tactically and otherwise, to make those hard decisions? It saddens me to know that in our society, in the year 2014, that people of ALL races always throw down the race card first, its the first fucking thing that happens. Why? Good fucking question, why. Good luck getting an answer as well.

And, we ALL know that way race plays a role in our society, culture, business, and families, that will never fucking change. I think we are just too damn stupid to change, myself included, and we fear a life with no hate and with no racial tension to drive decisions we make. Plain and simple, we’re fucked because we, as a society, don’t want to be unfucked. Now you know why I hate people. People will suck the life out of you, draining your will to live. Well, fuck living life that way. Its shit like this that makes me wonder where we all went wrong. I have the answer, well a part of the answer in my opinion. Everyone fears that their words and/or actions will offend someone. We need to get offended! We need to have our fucking feelings hurt! Why? Because if we cannot speak out about how we feel about things, we are fucked, and the people who are fucked are the ones who have lost. It doesn’t make a fuck what color we are, everyone wants to be heard for one damn reason or another, but in our society we have been overly conditioned to put the feelings of others first. For what? To get shit on? Is that the gratitude? I don’t even want to know how one justifies in their head that looting and rioting is the answer when they feel a decision is unjust. Then what happens, sheeple see sheeple do, that’s exactly what the fuck happens. Its one thing to be sympathetic and something quite the opposite to blame what you did on someone or something else. But that’s our society, we don’t hold each person accountable in the same way, and because of that we somehow figured out a way to justify every action we take and every word we speak.

Go ahead, fuck shit up. Fuck it up real good. When you wake up tomorrow you can add all that shit you fucked up to your resume. As far as I’m concerned, just burn the whole fucking planet down, burn it all, because fucking shit up is how we roll. I give up. Who cares. Just fuck it. Then, and only then, we can start from scratch, only to fuck it up all over again. Its late, I’m tired, and I’m so fucking done.

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They Floated Down From The Sky

I like to share stories with y’all that leave me with more questions than answers. Why? Perhaps y’all might be thinking the same thing or y’all might have the answers I seek. Sometimes the story is just too damn bizarre not to share with y’all. So, my basic questions are these. One, what does it look like when it’s raining 2000 dead mice? Two, how does 2000 individual mice feed the expected 2 million brown snakes? Three, am I too believe that only the targeted brown snakes will eat this free meal that has fallen from the sky? Four, what will the collateral damage to other species of wildlife or humans be? Five, how would you react if you looked up and saw a real life dead mouse plague raining down on you? Gives new reasons never to look up with your mouth open, doesn’t it?

Anyway, here’s the story that has me having way too many questions.


Back in the 1950s, brown tree snakes arrived in Guam, and thought “Ah, paradise.” They have thrived on the small island, which is now home to something like 2 million of them — much to the chagrin of local birds and the U.S. military, which has to deal with regular snake-caused power failures at the Andersen Air Force Base. So the Air Force is sending in the mice. NBC News reports:

They floated down from the sky Sunday — 2,000 mice, wafting on tiny cardboard parachutes … the rodent commandos didn’t know they were on a mission: to help eradicate the brown tree snake, an invasive species that has caused millions of dollars in wildlife and commercial losses since it arrived a few decades ago. That’s because they were dead. And pumped full of painkillers.

Brown tree snakes have two weakness: tasty mice and acetaminophen, the active ingredient in Tylenol. For the snakes, acetaminophen is fatal. So the military dosed the dead mice with the drug and blanketed the forest with them. Ideally, the snakes will eat the drugged mice and die. And the dead mice will be memorialized forever in this unlikely triumph of prey over predator.

Original story & picture found @ Grist.org 

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