Before You Try This At Home

Oh man, where do I even begin with this one. I say lets just jump the fuck in and see what happens by the time we get to the end. I must warn you, even though I’m not obligated to warn you, the contents of this post discuss sexual organs, sexual positions, sex, the human body, and some sexual history. Why do this post? I found the information to be both humorous and informative. So, I wanted to share, that’s how I am, I like to share with the people of the internet. Even though this is a sexual topic there will be no pictures of asexual manner, use your imagination or past experiences to fuel your needs for visual stimulation. Personally, the reverse cowgirl is my favorite position. To date, there has been zero injuries at my household and I intend to keep it that way thank you very much.

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Penile fractures are just as painful as they sound, and I mean that quite literally as one of the most distinguishable signs of the injury is an audible “crack.” A team of Brazilian researchers have dedicated months of their lives to recording instances of this traumatic injury in order to determine the sexual position most likely to cause it. In doing so, they discovered that the backward female on top, also known as the “reverse cowgirl,” triggered the majority of the injuries.

In a study now published in Advances in Urology, the Brazilian researchers reviewed the cause, symptoms, and self-report of erection for men who had experienced a penile fracture. These fractures occur when the lining of the penis ruptures, when a blood-engorged penis is suddenly and forcefully bent. Due to the nature of the injury, it’s most often sustained during sexual intercourse.

The data revealed some interesting correlations between sexual activity and likeness to experience this injury. For example, heterosexual intercourse was the most common cause, but the injury could also be self-inflicted via some sort of masturbation. As for sexual positions: “‘Woman on top’ was the potentially riskiest sexual position,” wrote the authors. This pose was credited with being responsible for roughly half of all instances of penile fractures, followed by “doggy style,” which accounted for 28 percent of cases. The remaining cases were described as having an “unclear” cause.

The review also revealed what some of the safer sex options may be. For example, homosexual intercourse was involved in only 12 percent of injuries. Interestingly, it seems that middle-aged Christian monks may have been onto something with backing the missionary position, as this pose was credited with the overall lowest incidence of penile injury. The authors wrote that with a man on top of the woman, as in the case with missionary, “he has better chances of stopping the penetration energy in response to the pain related to the penis harm, minimizing it.”

Perhaps the biggest discrepancy in the study was men’s unwillingness to disclose the nature of their injuries. Nearly a quarter of all patients questioned for this study refused to give any details as to how their fracture came about.

While sexual intercourse seemed to be the main cause of penile fracture in the West, in the Middle East, particularly in Iran, around half of all instances of penile fractures were caused by men trying to forcibly hide their erections. This may be due to the cultural practice of Taghaandan — Kurdish for “to click” — which encourages men to “break the Qholenj” by bending the tip of their erection until an audible click is heard. A separate study found the number of penile fractures in Iran caused by Taghaandan to be closer to 57 percent, explaining that a “direct blunt force or habitual clicking of the erect penis to achieve detumescence,[subsiding an erection]” was behind an overwhelming number of injuries in this part of the world.

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Pros: The position is a great variation from woman-on-top and gives the woman total control over the pace and rhythm and lets her set the agenda. She can also change the angles to see how to hit the sweet spot. Also the she has the option to rub her clitoris and get her man to hit the G-spot simultaneously which can give a very powerful orgasm!

Cons: Too much enthusiasm in this position can be hazardous for the male partner and he can suffer a penile fracture which is no laughing matter. It happens if the penis bends too much at the base which occurs either when the female partner comes down on the penis at the wrong angle or if she bends too forward or backward.  There actually was a case where a man sued his ex-girlfriend for reckless behaviour after suffering a penile fracture! Thankfully the court ruled in her favour deciding her behaviour was neither legally wanton (caused due to negligence) nor reckless.

Feel free to leave your stories below or the shy ones can email them to me. I like a good reverse cowgirl horror story every once in a while. Hey, did it happen on a Magic Weekend? Be sure to send in your pictures! Luckily for Sarah, proud member of The Scorpion Army, she was just passing on this information to me, she thought I just might get a kick out of it all by the time I was done reading. I know not where she got the information, we can all just assume she found it surfing the internet somewhere. The text contained here within in neither medical advice, nor sexual advice, or sexual counseling. What you take away from it is what you take, I offer no guarantee, warranty, or guided tours of expectations, I’m just here to have fun. I can only recommend y’all be safe in your adventures.

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