Just Stop Eating The Crayons

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Throughout my life it’s been an established fact that I don’t mix well or tolerate people of the fucktard classification. As well, I’ve made it no secret here on this blog. From an outsider’s point of view it may appear I interact with more than my fair share of fucktards and the more I look into that sad little fact it seems to be more true than I’m willing to admit at the moment. Eventhough I’ve never, that means not even once in my life, claimed to be smart, educated, or well versed in any one particular area which I could be considered an expert, with one exception, I have common sense. I have learned over the years, and pointed it out often, that every situation and/or conversation should have a basis in common sense but often skips that particular rational part and heads straight down the rabbit hole. Which is where I usually stop, so I can grab my shovel and fill in the fucking hole so the ignorance can’t get back out. It’s a beautiful process I use because most people cannot handle my version of blunt sarcasm and don’t know how to react. However, last night I met a young man who was more challenging to me than I could have ever easily imagined possible.

Strangely enough I was at Walmart, getting some Crayons, watercolor paints, brushes, and a large pad of art paper to box up to send to my granddaughter for her 4th birthday which is coming up. Crayons were what I was on the hunt for because the school supplies have yet to recover from being picked over since the start of school this past Monday. Anyway, I spotted what looked like the last big box of Crayons and this younger guy, late 20s, reached in and grabbed it before me. He had the look of victory on his face, as if by mere inches he had beaten me in his imaginary race, while lipping to me in silence “eat shit you fucker” as he smiles to walk away. Meanwhile, an older lady in her probably late 70s asked him where he had found that box of Crayons because she has been looking for the better part of 25 minutes with no luck. He got real close to her and, while talking extremely loud, I guess he assumed she was deaf, began by telling her, “sorry you old bitch, you and that other motherfucker there are shit out of luck so you two slow losers should just move the fuck on and get out of the way”. In my head it took me a minute to process what this douchebag just said to her, the lady now who looks very scared. As he walked away I put my hand on his shoulder and told this piece of shit, in my most civil tone, that he owed this woman an apology immediately. With this cockeyed look he asked me ” and what the fuck would I want to do that!” Which is where my sarcasm came flying out when I told him that “I’d love to explain it to you but I don’t have any Crayons”. I further explained to him what a grand gesture it would be if he were to just hand her the box of Crayons and then walk away. By this time we have sparked the interest of a Walmart manager who asked if there was something she could help with. The dickhead barked off to her the she could kindly fuck off. C’mon man, its just Crayons is all I can think to myself.

And then this man opens the box of Crayons and begins shoveling them into his mouth, chewing them up with his mouth open and slobbery pieces falling out when he tells me ” if y’all want these Crayons so bad y’all can pick the nuggets out of my shit later tonight. ” I know I was just staring at him in amazement as I watched him walk to the line to check out. By this time he was greeted by our friendly boys in blue who kindly helped him find his way outside the store. Well, shit, I guess I’m done here, I checked out, and was waiting on my son in the restroom when the older lady came up to me asked if I minded if she hugged me as she was hugging me. My son caught the end of the hug and then she told him he was lucky he didn’t have a violent dad, and he replied to her saying “my dad isn’t violent but he hates Crayon eating crazies.” She cracked a smile and walked off. As we walked out we see the Crayon eater in the back seat of the patrol car, I wonder how he plans on explaining his behavior to the judge.

On the way home my 14 year old son, now a freshman in high school, explained to how surprised and disappointed he was in the man’s behavior, and while shaking his head he says “some people’s children”. Of course as soon as we get home he started telling his mother about the Crayon eater, who stood there with her jaw dropped in amazement. She explained the ONLY reason his dad didn’t kick this piece of shit’s ass is because he knows he’s too old to be someone’s girlfriend in jail. I guess that does cross my mind. As I think back on this whole thing I’m still left wondering what would posses an individual to eat Crayons to show his victory. I’m reminded that he has already reproduced, I would assume, or maybe the Crayons were for personal use. Fortunately I will NEVER have the displeasure of knowing. Now I get to add him to the growing list of fantastic fucktards I have met in my lifetime. If it matters, I did find some Crayons for my granddaughter, one day I will have to tell her this story if her mother doesn’t beat me to it.

The Fucked Youth Of Our Nation

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It may not be fair of me to judge all of the youth of our nation based on my personal interaction with a few of them lately. But, real quick, I want to share what happened at the gas station first thing this morning. See the picture of my hat? Did you read it? Do you know what it is? At the gas station, this 20 something kid asks “dude, that game is awesome, Deadwood is super hard tho”. Me, “what in the fuck are you talking about”? Kid, ” I’ve been playing that badass game for a couple weeks now, it’s badass dude”. Kid, “you been playing”? Me, “it’s a fucking city in South Dakota you dumb shit”! Kid, “no its not, its the game I’ve been playing on the Xbox, its not a city, that would be a stupid name for a city, its a game, ask your kids, they’ll tell you.” I shook my head and walked away, hoping that his stupid didn’t get on me. Check, I’m clear. What a fucktard bonehead!

How To Always Use The Word Fuck

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Regular and irregular visitors to The Sting Of The Scorpion Blog are very aware that I frequently use the word fuck and many variations of the word fuck. So, it should be no fucking surprise that I would choose to answer a fucked up question from an email with a few different explanations of why I often am found using the word fuck so much. Personally, I think it is the most perfect fucking word in the English language. Now, some will say that the regular use of the word fuck makes a person seem unintelligent because it is a word that isn’t needed. Obviously, I fucking disagree. Last chance to leave if you are a grammar Nazi or truly offended by the liberal use of the word fuck. If you’re still here then let’s fucking roll the dice and see if we can’t crap out by the end of this post.

If you gave a fuck at all about the fucking amazing English language, you would stop fucking around and study the word fuck. When the fucked up people around you start fucking with you just tell them to shut the fuck up or to go fuck themselves, because you have a fucking life you’re trying to live. Learn to use the word fuck. So when someone asks you, “What the fuck does that mean?” You don’t have to answer, “I don’t fucking know.” So what the fuck are you waiting for? Don’t fuck yourself over. Start by reading this post now.

Just to be very fucking clear here, I’m not promoting the irresponsible use of the word fuck or other swear words. Much to the contrary, I think that if y’all are going to swear, y’all should have a high degree of awareness as to what y’all are communicating and the effect it has on all of the people around you personally. Even if you have an intellectual understanding of how to swear, it doesn’t give you the deeply culturally conditioned reaction that natives have. They grew up in their families learning what was appropriate or not.

The Word FUCK

As you can see from what has been written above already, fuck is one of the most versatile, varying, and interchangeable words that exists in of of the English language (and probably ALL languages as well). It’s also known as the the F-word and the F-bomb. While the word fuck is often seen as the most vulgar word in the English language, it’s very commonly used in everyday speech, and you will encounter it all over the place in many different types of situations. As you’ll see below, there are a few different examples that use the word fuck. Whether or not you plan to say the word fuck, to fully understand the English language, you must understand this versatile word and its many, many uses. Fuck can be used in almost every situation and to express any emotion.  Sometimes, the only thing that matters is what tone of voice you use and what words surround it.

Test yourself by looking through these various different expressions involving the word fuck and see how many you already know and how many are new to y’all. Then, go back and read all of the expressions to learn the phrases you don’t already know and deepen your understanding of the ones you already know. (Note: some of the uses of fuck in the introductory paragraphs will be defined later in this post.)

1. What the fuck?

This is a common phrase that’s used when you are confused, irritated, or angry. It’s often abbreviated to “WTF.” There are many different ways you can add what the fuck to other words or phrases to add emphasis. What the fuck is this? What the fuck are you talking about? What the fuck is with this guy? What the fuck are you doing here?What the fuck is going on? Where the fuck are you going?What the fuck are you thinking?

2. Fuck!

Used to express anger, excitement, pain, grief, surprise, and anything else that might “shock” one’s senses.

3. Fuck it!

You say fuck it when you just don’t care anymore. It can also be used to admit defeat.

3. Holy fuck!

Used to express surprise. You can also say “holy shit” or “holy fucking shit.”

5. Fuck you/him/her/that

Used to express anger, rage, hatred, or contempt with someone or something else.

6. Go fuck yourself!

Used in similar situations as “fuck you,” “go fuck yourself” is used to express anger, frustration, hatred, or contempt with someone else.

7. Did you fuck her/her/that?

Fuck can also be a vulgar and very informal way to say to have sex.

8. Fuck no / fuck yes

You add fuck in front of no or yes when you want to add emphasis to it.

9. Fuck me!

You will commonly hear fuck me being said in the context of feeling astonished or frustrated/upset at yourself.

10. Don’t fuck me over.

To fuck someone over means to do them an injustice. In other words, it can mean to take advantage of, ignore a promise you made to them (which gets them in some kind of trouble), or to deceive someone out of their money or possessions.

11. Are you fucking with me?

To fuck with someone means to joke with them. If you ask someone angrily, “Are you fucking with me?!” it can also mean are you lying to me?

12. Stop fucking around.

To fuck around means to not be doing anything serious, usually when there’s important work to be done.

13. He’s fucked.

To be fucked means that you are in a hopelessly bad situation that you’re unable to recover from.

14. He’s fucked up.

To be fucked up means to have taken way too many drugs or drank too much alcohol or to have gotten hurt badly.

15. That’s fucking stupid.

Fucking is commonly added before adjectives to add emphasis.

16. What a stupid fuck

Fuck can also be used as a noun, but there is usually in adjective describing what type of fuck the person is. It is also used in a negative context.

17. I don’t give a fuck.

To not give a fuck means you couldn’t care less about something.

18. Fuck off. 

To fuck off is commonly used to tell someone to leave you alone.

19. Where the fuck are we?

This is used when you are totally lost and have no idea where you are.

20. I don’t fucking know.

You can add the word fucking to verbs like know and care to add emphasis. This is used when you think it’s obvious that you don’t know or if someone has already asked you a bunch of times before.

21. Shut the fuck up.

Here, fuck is used to add emphasis to shut up, which means to stop talking or stop making noise.

22. Fuck up

fuck up is a useless person who hasn’t done anything with his or her life.

23. Who the fuck are you? Offensive

When you add fuck to who are you, you are implying that the person is no one special and that they don’t belong here.

24. Abso-fucking-lutely, de-fucking-licious

You can also add fuck into the middle of words to add emphasis to them.

25. Oprah Fucking Winfrey

You can add fucking in between someone’s first and last name to emphasize that you’re talking about an awesome person.

26. Mother fucker, fuckface, fucktard, fuckstick.

Here are some various names you can call someone that have the word fuck in them. Mother fucker  is considered to be one of the worst names you can call someone.

Fuckface is another word for a cock sucker

Fucktard comes from the word retard.

Fuckstick is another word for dildo

In Conclusion,  the word fuck has so many uses that they all won’t even fit into one post at any one given time! But remember, please be careful when using any of these expressions. Natives grow up learning when it’s appropriate to say these various vulgar expressions and when it’s not okay. If you have to ask yourself whether or not it’s appropriate, the answer is probably fuck no. You don’t have to use fuck to appear fluent, but you need to at least understand it.

Please remember that a lot of people will take offense if you say the word fuck.  While it’s fine to say fuck around your friends, try to avoid saying it to people you don’t know, unless you really don’t give a flying fuck what the think. That being said, many movies you’ll watch and songs you listen to will use the word fuck in its various forms, so it’s important to understand the many different uses.

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If there some uses for fuck that weren’t mentioned here, because I know I didn’t get all of them, please post them in the comments below.

WTF Are You Fuckers Smoking?

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For one short moment last night I was close to just shutting this fucking blog down, throwing in the towel, and let the sheeple fucktards move in to take over. It was a momentary lapse in my own fucking common sense to say the very least. If y’all really must know why I created, maintain, and update this blog, its real simple, because Fuck You, that’s why. I hate the fucking question, “what is the focus or purpose of The Sting Of The Scorpion?” Why? Because its impossible to post one motherfucking thing on any topic and not have 100 crawling up my ass bitching and complaining. Go cry to your fucking momma because I don’t give a flying fuck. I do this blog for “entertainment” mostly, it has never been here to please one group of people or another, ever. Even though I attempt to entertain people here with my sophomoric sarcasm there is also a great deal posted about things going on in my own fucking life, some good & some bad, some humorous & some on the more serious side, some that is relevant to many & some that only will matter to me, but all of it is done because I make time to pull my phone out and make time to keep my blog active with new posts. But nooooooo, I get bashed because I’m a sick twisted fucker who belongs in a straight jacket locked up in a tiny padded room. Well, fuck you, I’m not, I’m here posting whatever in the fuck I choose because that is what I fucking want to do when and how I fucking want to do it. You have choices and one if them is to not to click the link which leads you here. Once you are here you have the choice to leave as well if The Sting Of The Scorpion isn’t your fucking cup of tea. Either way, if you stay or if you leave, The Sting Of The Scorpion will still be here.

So, let’s explore what has your panties all wadded up in your cunt this time. If that just offended you then its because you know I am talking directly to you so you can stop guessing in your head who I am pointing out. Its fucking you! First I would like to address the fucknuggets who, so colorfully, addressed a post I did yesterday about my real life backyard hog invaders. Just because I own guns (yes multiple guns) doesn’t mean I wish to hunt and kill everything that walks this planet. Just because I hunt doesn’t mean I wish to hunt and kill everything on this planet. It does mean, however, that I have options, not that I’m an indiscriminate killer of all the cutesy wutsey creatures which roam in the wild. But then again, some of us call some of those humble creatures fucking dinner, sorry to be the one to inform you, but some if us hunt for our food. However, in that particular post I never mentioned hunting the sow hog pictured, I just want to help move it on along, but I will win one way or another because I have options. Don’t hunt? I really don’t care. Don’t eat meat? I really don’t care. Don’t like guns? I really don’t care. I will protect my family and property against man and beast because that is the kind of person I am. Do I speak for everyfuckingbody? Nope, just for myself. Hogs are dirty destructive beasts who cost property owners allot of freaking money every year. I am happy for those of y’all who live places where there aren’t any invasive vermon threatening who you love and what you own.

Yes, in real life, fuck and variables of the word fuck are my favorite words. Yes, my blog tends to reflect directly on how I speak. Yes, I am a grumpy fucking bastard who is tired of people’s bullshit in real life too, this isn’t some fucked up twisted freak show you are watching here, some of it is my life as well. Yes, I know I have my autocorrecting spell checker off since I am the one who knows what I want to say and how I want to say it. Moving on now I would like to address something, that I was told is holy and sacred, my use of church signs over the last couple of days. Boothefuckhoo if you thought they were in “bad taste” because I thought it was a hilarious idea. Did they get your attention? Mission accomplished. Did you find them personally unique to The Sting Of The Scorpion? Mission accomplished. Did the fact that a person who despises organized religion used a church sign to promote his blog throw you a curve ball? Mission accomplished. Were you fucking offended? Well, that’s all on you, maybe you are too sensitive to be here in the first place. By the way, for those of y’all wondering, sometimes I do think that there needs to be a “complete guide” to The Sting Of The Scorpion because many if y’all just do not have the mental capacity to have an open mind about the life we live or the planet we live on or the societies we are a part of because some people choose to have their eyes and ears shut but have their big fucking mouths open. This blog does not focus on organized religion or politics because there is absolutely no desire to vommit up the vile that everyone seems to already be so in tune with. Yes, I stab at the obviously ignorant shit one sees in the news on occasion, but it isn’t a staple here. No, we probably do not share the opinions I might have about our fellow human beings and that’s okay with me because I think you need to have your own opinions and conclusions on people and life. We are individuals for fucks sake.

Now let’s talk about you slimy fucking spammer bitches. Do you know that I delete 200+ bogus spam bullshit comments every fucking morning? No? You thought you were the only one spamming The Sting Of The Scorpion? Wrong. You idiots don’t get it. This is not a porn site. This is not an international dating site. This is not an anti-gun site. This is not an anti-gay site. This is not a skinhead site. We are not interested in the “legal drugs” you have to offer. We do not have any friends or family members whose benefits we wish to seek laundered out of a third world country and all you need is our banking information to make us millionaires. No, I don’t need hints in vaginal freshness. No, I don’t need the next best thing to Viagra or the no name generic drug which I can buy from Mexico or Canada. No, I do not need help finding Jesus Christ. No, I am not going to vote for you. No, I am not seeking help cleaning up the looks of my website. These are just examples of the regular bullshit that the spammers consider relevant to any given post done here. My favorite tho is the multiple ads I get on the prevention and care for the wounds caused by, wait for it………………..scorpion stings! We don’t advertise here, we don’t do this for fame or money, we are here providing all of this at no cost to the reader, its free.

In the end, read/view/skim The Sting Of The Scorpion for whatever your reasons might be at that given moment. Yes, I know this blog is an acquired taste and not everyone will always be happy about it. Oh well, I don’t really fucking care. Y’all come back for some reason and that is enough for me. Oh, as far as the recommendation that I perform a complete overhaul to reformat this blog, y’all can go to hell because The Sting Of The Scorpion will remain as it is and always has been.

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