I hope y’all are ready for this 4th of July edition of The Magic Weekend because it was definitely an eye opener for me. As you can see from the photo above I am honoring a promise I made a while back when I said I will do my best to provide y’all with the enclosed pictures as long as I could censor them enough for public display here on The Sting Of The Scorpion. I will warn readers that right here is the place to stop reading if certain language is offensive to you, or if sexual situations being explained offend you, or if you don’t want to read about another bizarre trip to the emergency room. For those of y’all sticking around now let me introduce Shawna (pictured above), age 25. who resides in El Paso Texas. She is currently employed as a graphics designer along with others who were at this particular 4th of July party. So here we go.
“Dear Scorpion Sting,
First of all, please forgive me if there are mistakes in my typing since I write this to you with two broken fingers. I didn’t want to wait because pretty much everything is still a fresh memory as I sit here this Sunday morning. I hope you can use a few of the pictures I sent in, I didn’t take any of them except for the ones of my broken fingers, but all the rest were found on my phone afterwards. I am glad someone was nice enough to document me at this party because without the pictures I wouldn’t believe anything I have been told so far. I guess I will start at the beginning here since I never had the intentions of actually partying on the 4th since I was to work on the following Saturday. So this all starts with my dumbass answering a text asking what my plans were for the night.
In many moments of personal weakness I agreed to accompany a girl I work with to a party with many of my coworkers. Honesty, my intent was to hang out somewhere, unnoticed by the others, have a few drinks, and then going home. For the most part this is how I party. When we get there they are already playing a variety of shot games and quickly I was pushed into playing by the crowd. I do shots pretty good so I wasn’t really worried. Shots turned into strip poker, which is my downfall because I suck shit playing cards. After a few hands I had lost my shirt and eventually my bra. But I was doing fair, I had the most clothes on when it was over, I guess everyone grew bored and wanted to quit so we could get more drinking done. I watched as a few guys did kegstands and decided I could do it longer, faster, and better. As a couple of them flipped me upside down into position I shoved the tap in my mouth and let it go. I think they said my time, the time to beat, was 4:10,
They let me down gently and I found me a spot on the couch to watch. I looked for my shirt for a while but had no luck, so fuck it I let it all hang out, I figured it was hot inside and I would worry about a shirt when it comes time to leave. I continue to drink, mostly on the comfort of the couch, but on occasion I would have to wobble into the bathroom, you know. I had sent a text, yes a drunk ass text, to my sister, to come get me because it was well after 2 in the morning. Last trip to the bathroom and then I’m gone. When I opened the bathroom door I tripped on the bottoms of my pants since I was working them down in a damn hurry. When I get up off the floor my pants get hooked on the doorstop so I just kicked them off so I could get on the toilet before it was too late. The good news is I made it, so it was a success. I stood up to bend over to get my jeans when I felt the most fucked up crunching pain, someone was coming in and jammed my hand into the wall down by the floor. After I screamed the person backed off and I was able to pull my hand back. I collapsed to the floor. I ended up against the wall, looking out the wide open door, completely naked, when my sister pops her head around the corner.
We decided I had two broken fingers. We decided it was time to get dressed. We found my jeans, my flip flops, and my phone. I borrowed someone’s T-shirt but had to go commando and braless when we walked out the door. The ride to the emergency room was quiet, my 19 year old sister didn’t want to know anything. We go into the emergency room and because the place was dead I guess, we went right back. After giving up all my information I went to have xrays, which show the last digit of both fingers broken. After they splinted them up I was released, although since I behaved myself, the police weren’t called in, there was talk of me being publically intoxicated. So I escaped going to jail I think. She took me home where I woke up late Saturday evening, missing work altogether, and with a fucking bad hangover. Fingers seem to be doing fine, typing this was interesting though. Hope you find something here to use in your blog. Shawna”
What do I have to say about all of this? It was an interesting story. Based on the rest of the pictures I would have to say there were some things left out, but who am I to judge. So let’s see if categorically she hit any of the criteria. Was there sex? Questionable. Was there blood? No, but there were broken bones. Was there money? No. Was there fame? No. Was there jail? The conditions were there but it falls short. In review, there was a party, drinking, nudity, broken bones, a trip to the emergency room, and a shitload of pictures Shawna didn’t take in her own phone. I think we have a winner and therefore it will be The Magic Weekend; 4th of July edition. Got your personal story ready yet? Just send it in and we will see you here.