Being A Practical Joker

Origianlly Posted 25 January 2013


Late yesterday afternoon I received a text message from my wife informing me that I had an ultrasound appointment today at 4:15. When I text her back she informed me that it was complicated and she would explain it all to me when she gets home. In case some of y’all haven’t read much here on my blog let me give a very brief background on my wife and what she does for a living. She is a medical office manager @ an affiliates doctors office, meaning she is the manager of all the personnel for 5 family practices, 1 orthopedic office, scheduling, billing, front desk, x-ray, ultrasound, physical therapy, the pharmacy, and so forth, she is the manager for around 90 people. Anyway, her and a few of her close friends at the office got together to formulate a grand scheme to have a “gotcha” moment for the ultrasound technician. Why? The story is that this technician does not like to do ultrasounds on a man’s penis, buttocks, or genitals. Digging a little deeper I was informed it is because she does not like it when men naturally “react” when there “business” is having warm gel applied to it and a wand going over the areas. She knows it isn’t flattery towards her because she is just doing her job. Around the office she complains a bit (alot) since she has no desire to see a man’s genitalia.So, after getting my “briefing” last night I agreed to participate in their practical joke. I went up to the doctors’ office 15 minutes early because my wife asked me to so we could talk before my “mock” appointment. Sure enough, I was on the schedule, got checked in, and the proceeded to go down so I could talk to my wife. She gave me the procedural run down at this time. She explained the technician would begin the examination with a series of questions and we would discuss why I was there. I was told at this point that I was suffering from a “penile nogile” about the size of a quarter, (a lump on my penis). Why we talked, my wife, her close friend, and I, they began to explain how this technician has been dreading doing this ultrasound as it was to be her very last procedure of the day and she wasn’t looking forward to seeing someone’s bent out of shape penis. Later in the morning, after reviewing the schedule, the technician realized the man on the schedule had the same last name as her manager with the letters VIP next to it. When she asked my wife if there was any relation, my wife kindly replied that it was her husband. Now, I have never met this lady, the first time I even knew she existed was last night. But, she knew “of” me based on what she could gather from other employees. She was told I was 6’8″ @ 265lbs. Others remarked how I dwarf my 5’1″ @ 110lbs wife. I was told she was nervous, more than normal because it was her boss’s husband.

As I sat in my wife’s office, the technician softly knocked on the already open door to ask if I was ready for my procedure. I stood up, turned to her, offered my hand for an introductory hand shake, and said sure. We entered the exam room where I was told to change into a gown so I could readily show her my trouble area so we could discuss what comes next. Ummm, what? She left the room for a few moments. She came back and I was still dressed. She asked how come and I told her I was a bit nervous due to the sensitivity of my problem and was a bit uncomfortable doing the exam since she works for my wife. I told her I was feeling a little tension in the air and maybe it would be best if we talked about the procedure first. So, we talked, she explained everything she was going to do to me right down to how it would feel for me. She also told me not to be “alarmed” it I got an erection because it is a normal reaction. With my straightest face ever I told her I was much better now and thank you. She left the room again for me to change. When she returned I was still dressed. She said it was ok and I could just unbutton and unzip my pants to show her that she can work around it. I told her I wasn’t going to show her my penis. She asked why not. Then I told her I needed to tell her something personal first. Frustrated, she asked what it was. I smiled and explained she had been set up and that I was supposed to her she had been “got” by her boss and her friends. The look on her face was, what they say on t.v., priceless.


She took off out of the exam room, only to be confronted by all the involved practical jokers. On the plus side, she took it all in stride, laughing with everyone, joking, and admitting that yes, she had been “got”. They all continued to talk while I listened, it was funny as hell to me since I actually know all the other people quite well. Then I left since I needed to get my son from chess club at the middle school. I kinda feel bad for her since they all conspired to getting her goose. I am very glad she appeared to be in good spirits. The last words I heard her say were to my wife. She explained she is really glad she did not have to examine the the penis of her boss’s husband, she may have been scarred for life. Funny. So, that was my afternoon, what did you do for fun today?