Playing Hide And Seek In Plain Sight

21756761One late afternoon I was piddling around in my shop when I get a text message from my son. He wanted to try out the effectiveness of his newly finished ghillie suit. He sent me some real general directions to the back of the property where I was to look for him hiding in plain sight. Now, I haven’t seen his new suit so I have no idea what I’m looking for. As I set off on my trek I remembered my Air Force field training which was to look for a few things. First, look for that piece of nature which looks too perfect because nature is one imperfection after another. Second, look for un-natural shapes and oddities which don’t look out of place. Third, look for the straight lines and solid colors. Now, these are good skills to know what to look for when someone is hiding from you to either elude you or to kill you. There are also good to know because the reverse goes into play when making oneself invisible in the environment. When I get to the described location I see that I’m in the area we have roped off to play paint ball with friends and family. All I can think is this will be an ambush of some sorts.

I walked past the back side of the downed tree twice, once going out towards the ridge facing the river and the return trip. It was not until I came around to head back to the river when something caught my eyes, solid color gloves. Busted. Being color blind I have a true unfair advantage because I focus more on the shapes in the woods and not the colors. I would have walked right past him another time if it weren’t for the gloves. But, I wanted to screw with him a bit before I let him know he had been found. I pull out my cell phone and call his mother to tell her we will be a little late for dinner and why. I put my phone in my pocket, turned, and walked away, but not before snapping a picture. I headed to the house and texted him to tell him he did a great job and to head back in. I don’t know if he knew I knew he was mere feet from me so I sent him the picture.

His reaction was different than what I expected. He text me back and told me he will fix the glove visibility. That was it at that time. At dinner time he explained how he watched me walk by him both times and how easily it would have been to unleash a barrage of orange paint balls onto me. He said he considered it but I was wearing my good jacket and my good boots so he waived embarrassing me at that point in time in history. He bragged quite a bit, which is great, because he did an awesome job. We both know I would have been a kill. So, dinner was full of excitement and stories. It’s nice, for me at least, to be able to still go outside and not have to wonder if my kids are still on their phones for whatever reason. You know it’s not enough to be un-plugged any more, we have to have something that competes for their time. Just let it be known that when it is time out here, there isn’t too much competition.

I look forward to our next time out back in our  woods, I better bring my “A Game” because I know I will not be given a second chance twice. Perhaps the next time I bring re-enforcements because multiple sets of eyes are always better than one. My son is always amazing me with what he can come up with and I think that is one reason why he always keeps us guessing as he gets older. Until our next time in the woods ………………

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When You Choose To Be Offended

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When someone enters The Sting Of The Scorpion they are doing this at their own free will. Y’all don’t come here because I’m selling products or services. Y’all come here to see what I’m posting and to see why I’m posting it. Regular visitors know by now that I don’t care if the material, subject matter, or stories actually are going to offend you. If you are easily offended by things in our world then you are definitely in the wrong place. I decided that I was going to stop giving the offended a voice here at The Sting Of The Scorpion because those pussies don’t appreciate it anyway. I have been holding my tongue because I wasn’t clear if I wanted to open this can of bullshit or not. But, after a fantastic spam comment this morning I realized that maybe I need to explore why so many people have an uncontrolled bleeding snatch about a camouflage cow picture being posted here asking visitors to provide the caption. That original post entry, “Provide The Caption #5“, has drawn allot of controversy because the fucking cow is not something that should be used in something as degrading as a stupid contest. Really, you don’t say. Tell me more how this offends people Scorp.

Oh damn, where do I begin. Let’s start with the religious aspect which has been shared with me. Not all religions of course, but specifically The Sting Of The Scorpion was bombarded with the fact that the way the cow is depicted in the picture I provided is sacrilegious in Hinduism. I was informed that Hindus (in general I would suppose) see the cow as holy and not to be harmed. Whereas the picture I provided shows this bull in imminent danger because the helicopter gunships are on the prowl. I think it would do no good to remind people this picture was done in humor and no animals were harmed. Why bother? Why bother trying to reason with people who will not be reasoned with. I live in the Texas where the cow has a different purpose, for me specifically, I like to eat them.

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We can get into that aspect as well. According to some people who follow the cult of PETA, that we shouldn’t be eating cows or treating them in a fashion which will make them sad or bring them harm. What in the fuck is a matter with PETA? I see trying to make your own choices for your own reasons but I really don’t care what or why you think the way you do. Have any of y’all ever read the mandate or mission of PETA? Every time I read it I want to get my damn crayons out so I can help them draw rainbows coming out of everyone’s ass. Here at The Sting Of The Scorpion we talk about eating meat all the time, we talk about hunting this meat all the time, and of course we talk about smoking/grilling/cooking this meat all the time. Do I need to remind you dumb fucks that this picture was provided in humor? Do y’all (PETA) have a sense of humor? Since 09 January 2014, the day I posted this picture to get participation for a caption, I received 59 emails and 46 spam comments about how what I’m doing is wrong and offensive in so many ways.

I suppose this was in an attempt to get me to take the picture down. Perhaps it was even an attempt to get me to apologize to cows, religions, and fascist groups. I was going to let this one go, continue on, business as usual, but y’all have rubbed my fur the wrong way this time. I owe nobody nothing. I wish I could give people with their heads up in their asses a sense of humor because they take things way too serious. And here we are, here we have once again, people who think just because they are offended that this makes them right. It doesn’t make you right, it just makes you offended. I would have never expected that a camouflage cow would make so many people angry with me personally. There is still time though, do not despair, I will not be closing this contest until tomorrow morning and this is when the winner of the caption contest will be announced.

As a footnote. My intentions here at The Sting Of The Scorpion are not to intentionally offend anyone. However, there are those of y’all who believe differently than I do and live differently than I do as well. That’s okay, I understand that y’all will sometimes have a differing opinion or be offended by what you see here, and that is okay as well. Just remember, you clicked the link to get to The Sting Of The Scorpion, nobody can click it for you, nobody is forcing you to be here, and I truly find that when someone comes here they are doing it as a freewill choice. Just remember that I’m not your mother so I don’t have to like you and vice versa.

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