We Live So Others May Die!

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There is no doubt that over the years I have collected my fair share of AMMO & IYAAYAS memorabilia. Until recently most of which sat in boxes collecting dust in storage. In a way it was me putting my past life to rest and eventually moving on to a civilian life. However, while thinning out boxes, repacking boxes, and deciding what stays and what goes, my wife and son got ahold of everything while I was working. When I came home much of the stuff was hanging on the wall of the hall leading to the master bedroom. It was both a shock and surprise to see most of it. When I asked why I was told that this stuff needed to be out, needed to be seen, and she thought I would appreciate the fact that they took the time to put allot of it on display. I do appreciate the effort, but if I wanted it out of the boxes then I would of done it a long time ago, but no, it remained boxed, hoping until I was dead at least.

I ate, breathed, and lived the motto “We Live So Others May Die” my entire Air Force career and when I got out, my priorities, opinions, and morality changed considerably. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my fucking job every single day, all day long, but once I got out, day by day it just stopped meaning the same thing to me personally. Trust me, there is no better satisfaction than seeing the munitions you had a hand in building get loaded onto an aircraft and not see them come back because when the pilot pulled the trigger the weapons functioned as designed. That was the beautiful part of my job. I always remained disconnected from the damage, death, and destruction because I was in the “supply chain”. We were never the one pulling the trigger.

One day, in an undisclosed place in the mid 90s, I got to witness the true power of what I helped create and happen. I didn’t care for what I saw. I became ashamed of the organization I belonged to. I made up my mind I didn’t want to be a part of it any longer. When I got out I was happy to see the Air Force in my rear view mirror. At that point everything, pictures, memorabilia, uniforms, paperwork, trinkets, and so forth, went into the boxes. I ask myself why I boxed them up instead of burning it all and my answers were clear, I had many great memories of places I had been, people I have met, and experiences I have had. It’s what we do right? We put our memories in frames, shadow boxes, and actual boxes, as keepsakes and so forth. I have always had trouble talking with people in person about my ” job” in the Air Force because it no longer held any “glory” for me. As an example, way back when I was married to my ex, she finally found out what I actually did for a living. Sure, she knew what I did, but she never put two and two together because I never spoke of my job to her, ever. Sure, I had friends doing the same job who we interacted with regularly, most with wives who were friends with mine, but work was never the topic. Then, one day I received a slap to the face as I got told she didn’t want to be married to a baby killer. Yea, I know.

Years later, many years, my boxes full of my past life resurface, now my current wife and 14 year old son have questions. Questions I don’t really want to answer. My wife on the other hand already knew the answers but felt if my son was asking me questions then I needed to be the one answering. How about……. I don’t know…….. maybe……. fuck this shit I don’t want to discuss anything. My son had but one question. He wanted to know what the motto “We Live So Others May Die” meant to me. I’m not going to lie, there were many minutes of silence on my part, as I watched my son reading that phrase over and over on different things now hanging on the wall. What does it mean, really? The simple answer, in my opinion, is that thru training, schooling, education, and brainwashing, we truly were the facilitators of death and destruction, part of a machine which promotes peace through submission. I took great pride knowing that I did my job exceptionally well. However, the me of today is ashamed in many ways to acknowledge that this, in another time, was my life. I should have just burned it all when I had the chance way back when, but I didn’t, lucky me. We also looked at my uniforms, he was particularly interested in my dress blues, as they were still adorned with ribbons, awards, tours, and accolades. Looking now, I had quite the rack. It’s meaningless now I suppose, only because I wonder what it was all for.

I am very proud to have served my country and have the deepest respect for all of the men and women who serve now, have served, or will one day serve. I know it isn’t easy, not during your service and definitely not afterwards, not everyone has an easy transition. The military changes who we are to be who they want and then turn us out back into society. I explained to my son the reason I visit two different Veteran’s homes and the Veteran’s hospital is because I like talking with veterans who don’t seem to have anyone to talk to. I’m not trying to help them nor solve their problems, I just listen and talk, we share our experiences, we smile knowing that we have friends within one another.

After a very long conversation with my son, about the good, the bad, and even the ugly, he stood up and hugged me, it was a deep and meaningful hug which brought tears to my eyes as he whispered that he loved me into my ear. He explained that he wanted me to know he loved me and will always be proud of his dad. He has been going hard at the AFJROTC all year and hopes to one day follow in my footsteps. As much as I would like to desuade him from this career path, I won’t, I want him to fulfill his dreams, I won’t allow my own experiences to be his burden. Don’t know if that makes sense.

I close this post with a final thought, we are who we are, it is what it is, we live our lives as we see fit, hopefully we find some happiness along the way. To all active duty and veterans, I salute each and every one of y’all!

Words Of Wisdom – Man Up

I read allot a blogs every day of the week, I have a few, counting them on a single hand, favorite blogs that I read, unfortunately the one I would like to re-blog more uses the blogspot format, so re-blogging means copying then pasting the post with linkage to the original post. Which is what I must do today. However, its well worth the effort and I hope you appreciate it as much as I do. Now, I recommend you visit The Bearded Backyarder regularly, in fact go to today after reading this example post from my friend Stacks’ blog. He, with a select few, have a permanent link on the right of my blog, he’s well worth the look. Y’all won’t be disappointed with this fellow Texan! Now, here’s that post. Got your own fatherly wisdom? Leave them in the comments. Don’t forget to go pay Stacks a good visit!

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Words Of Wisdom – Man Up

Your father probably told you a few things, but just in case, here are some words of wisdom you might have missed out on. If I missed some, please comment and remind me. Young men need to hear these little gems from time to time. It is mission critical that they do. This day and age, young men are running low on mentors. Be that missing mentor if the need arises. Man up man.

Buy high quality tools, so you only have to buy them once.

Keep a change of clothes at the office.

Never hit anyone unless they are an immediate threat.

Every hat should serve a purpose.

Smelling good is feeling good. Feeling good is everything good. 

Never take her to the movies on the first date.

Learn to wet shave. If you do not shave, keep yourself groomed and neat.

Drink strong coffee. Hot tea is for old ladies. 

Nothing looks more bad ass than a man in a well tailored suit.

Shave with the grain on the first go-around.

Always look a person in the eye when you speak to them.

Buy a plunger before you need a plunger.

Exercise and firearms make you happy. Go run, go lift, go bang, go play sports.

Brush your teeth before you put on your tie.

A small amount of your paycheck should go directly to your savings account every month.

There’s nothing wrong with having some “you money” stashed away.

Call mom and dad every week.

Never wear a clip-on tie.

Give a firm handshake.

Compliment her shoes or hair.

Never leave a beer unfinished.

If you aren’t confident, fake it. It will come around.

You can tell the size of a man by the size of things that bother him.

Be conscious of your body language.

The only reason to point a gun at someone is if you intend to shoot them. Period.

Never lend anything you can’t afford to lose.

Ask more than you answer. Everybody likes to talk about themselves.

Never have sex with anyone that doesn’t want it as much as you.

Go for women out of your league. You may end up surprised.

Manliness is not only being able to take care of you, but others as well.

Go with the decision that will make for a good story.

When you walk, look straight ahead, and not at your feet.

Nice guys don’t finish last, boring guys do.

Find your passion and figure out how to get paid for it.

Don’t let the little head do the thinking for the big head.

No matter their job or status, everyone deserves your respect. (I call bullshit; no one deserves respect until they EARN it.) 

The first one to get angry loses.

A man does what needs to be done without complaining. 

Never stop learning.

Always go out in public dressed like you’re about to meet the love of your life.

Never change yourself just to make someone happy.

If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.

Luck favors the prepared.

Women find confidence sexy as hell.

Do whatever you want to do, but try to be the absolute best at it.

No one on their deathbed wishes they had spent more time at work.

Learn how to shine shoes. Never show up looking like you kicked a Hershey Bar. 

Never shoot a large caliber man with a small caliber bullet.

Wisdom comes from mainly getting older.

Men should read the words and deeds of great men of the past, especially fathers.

Be a man of self-control, self-denial, patience, humility, and have a principled approach to everything.

It’s easier to make your wishes conform to your means, than to make your means conform to your wishes.

Do not wife hunt in bars and tattoo parlors.

Meddle or interfere with nothing in which you have no concern.

Be willing to admit your mistakes and take blame.

Private and public life are subject to the same rules; and truth and manliness are two qualities that will carry you through this world much better than policy, or tact, or expediency, or any other word that was ever devised to conceal or mystify a deviation from a straight line.

A man should always say what he means and mean what he says.

A man may manifest and communicate his joy to the world, but he should conceal and smother his grief as much as possible.

Read history books, works of truth, and not novels and romances.

Never marry unless you can do so into a family that will enable your children to feel proud of both sides of the house.

Since your father will always be older than you, he will always be wiser.

Few things are more rewarding than blisters on your hands and a paycheck in the bank.

Don’t be afraid to stand alone; living your valueswill cost you, but not living them will kill you.

You can spend your day dicking the dog, but if you walk around like you own the place, no one will question you.

Don’t throw dirt on the sod.

Wealth doesn’t make the man.

Your family will benefit more from you being a good custodian of your resources than they will from your greed.

Never knock a man who is working, no matter what job he’s doing.

The grass may be greener, but it’s just as hard to cut.

What it all boils down to is that women are crazy and men are stupid.

Can do doesn’t mean should do.

The best way to love your children is to openly express your love for their mother. 

You don’t have to like someone to learn something valuable from them.

People tend to treat you the way that you treat yourself.

If you have to die you may as well go out with your boots on.

It is never a mistake to buy food or tools.

Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

Never argue with an idiot; they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

If a fight is unavoidable, do whatever it takes to end it as soon as possible.

Aim for the back of the head, through the face.

Become familiar with tools.

Just ask her out already, he who hesitates masturbates.

Don’t be your absent father. You may hate that woman but be there for the child you helped conceive.

There is nothing wrong with getting a second opinion.

Learn to use a knife.

Just because the water ran over it doesn’t mean it’s clean.

Never be afraid of getting your hands dirty or your knuckles bruised.

The people who are having too much fun at the office Christmas Party are the ones who are not around long enough for the next office Christmas Party.

Violence is never the answer, except for when it is. 

Never dip your pen in company ink.

Failure is not a bad thing. Failure is the path to success.

Learn to swing an axe.

Believe in something, but believe not in everything.

Alphas are born that way. People know the difference. Know your circle.

If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.

Never worry about the mule, just shut up and load the wagon.

False motivation is better than none at all.

Learn to throw a punch and take one. You will get hit.

Tempting The Past With The Future

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Do you remember the saying, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket”?  This goes back to the days when people used to go out to the hen house and gather the eggs that the chickens had laid.  The idea was that if you put all your eggs in one basket and then drop the basket, or the bottom drops out, you lose all the eggs and all your work, and the work of the chickens will have been in vain.  But if you put your eggs into more than one basket, then if you drop one basket you still another basket with some eggs left in it. This cliché is used in life to remind us that that we need to have more than one plan, that we need to have contingency plans (plan B) just in case plan A fails.  Because if you have only one plan and it fails, then you are left with egg on your face and nowhere to go.

So why am I talking about an age old cliché? Earlier today I was sitting outside of a previous place of employment and while I was waiting I posted a question in my Facebook status which asked if I should be wary or skeptical about inquiring about a job which, back in February 2014, laid me off. Basically that was the question or statement. Since then, of course, I have inquired. Where did this impromptu visit stem from. Well, last night after dinner I was looking through job postings on Indeed and Monster and to my surprise I see the job posting. Now, I had been watching this company lately because I had seen other engineering positions post, but nothing related to production, that is until last night. I applied for the position through Indeed and really got to thinking, I need to make an appearance to show my face. Most of don’t remember names, but we almost always remember a face. So, I decided to hand carry a copy of my resume and show my face, hopefully to someone I knew since there have been many personnel changes over the last eighteen months. I was relieved to walk through the door and a dear friend had made all the cuts and survived all the changes. She filled me in on pretty much everything I was asking and so much more. We talked for about fifteen minutes when another familiar face came in. He looked very surprised to see me and also thankful to see me.

We talked. We had an informational talk in my opinion. I know, you want to know, was I hired? No, I was not hired. Why? Because the position doesn’t actually open until the end of the first week of August. But, I do have day to meet with the owner and his son at the end of next week. Yes, with bills stacking up the time seems like years not days or weeks. I had prepared for this answer actually with the full intent that I would carry on looking for work and not putting all my eggs into one basket in hopes that they hire me back. Only thing I have going in my favor at this time is I was the number one application and I gave face time to express my intent and interest. Maybe I was a bit eager or being naive instead of gun shy. I’m not a patient man, I’m not a person who likes to sit around answers or results. But, not working, all I have is time. Anyway, I just wanted to give a quicky update as I promised I would do. I keep my fingers crossed that something will break soon.

Is The Price Of “Sex” Getting Cheaper?

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I was strangely surprised to see the following message as inline text from a long time information donator to T.S.O.T.S.B. from a long time personal friend of mine. Normally she sends me links, pictures, and/or ideas to pick and choose from once or twice a month. But this time, this time she sent “words” from some place and did not reference a source of any sorts. Meaning, therefore I didn’t have an opportunity to see where all this came from. In the end, she used it to ask me a question about the strip club industry, she wanted to know if the “economy” determines how much money I make as a bartender or how much money a stripper is paid.

I wish I had a simple answer. Just as well, she was only trying to help me to tie into my “Sex sells everything” experiment I have been doing here and she just wanted to “show” that sex sells sex sometimes. As a bartender in a full nude strip club I tend to see many things the “average” person isn’t even aware is going on in the first place. To begin with, I see the flow of money, the exchanges that happen casually to “purchase” that special experience. A trend I have seen and heard is that there has became a new meaning to the arts of negotiation because, let’s all face the facts, people want more bang for their buck while paying as little as possible, so hard core economics comes into play. Strippers have a bottom line, of course, but they have the skills to never have to accept bottom dollar for anything they have to offer, they will not sell themselves short for any reason since they are there to separate customers from as much of their money as possible.

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“They keep talking about recovery, but for many folks, work doesn’t pay what it used to. According to a recent report, Manhattan and Los Angeles counties lead America in falling wages. In the counties which contain Dallas, Phoenix, and Chicago, workers are also seeing their paycheck shrink. We can add sex workers to the list of people dealing with falling income.

Th Economist examined over 190,000 profiles of female sex workers on websites that feature customer reviews. Based on that data, which covered 84 cities and 12 countries (with the majority of workers in the United States), an interesting trend was revealed: the price of an hour with a female sex worker has been plunging. The average cost nationwide in 2014 is $260, down from $340 back in 2006.

What’s going on? What a sex worker charges depends on many things, including what types of services are involved, the location, and the physical attributes of the worker. Sex workers who conform to Western standards of beauty can charge more. Blondes get a premium, as do those with slim (but not too skinny) bodies and ample breasts. Getting fake boobs can really pay off in sex work: “For those not naturally well endowed, breast implants may make economic sense: going from flat-chested to a D-cup increases hourly rates by approximately $40, meaning that at a typical price of $3,700, surgery could pay for itself after around 90 hours.”

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Other ways sex workers can charge more is to provide niche services like having sex with two men at once, or providing S&M role-playing. Big-city sex workers in places like New York, Houston, Los Angeles, and London can charge more, too.

According to the Economist, the reason behind the drop in price is partly the 2007-’08 financial crisis. Other factors, like the migration of poorer sex workers into richer areas can also cause a drop in prices. This trend has been happening in Europe since the European Union expanded to include poorer eastern European countries, which has sent workers across borders. A 2013 article in Time magazine noted that Germany had become the “Cut-Rate Prostitution Capital of the World,” with thousands of brothels and “hundreds of thousands of prostitutes,” many from places like Romania and Bulgaria, dealing with intense competition and pushed-down prices. (Prostitution became legal in Germany in 2002.) In Berlin, oral sex from an Eastern European sex worker can reportedly be had for as little as $13.

The Internet is to blame, too, as more people are selling sex online. Because it’s easier and more discreet to sell sex online, women who in the past may have avoided such work are signing up. “More attractive and better-educated women, whose marital and job prospects are therefore better, are more likely to consider sex work easily if it is arranged online,” notes the report. Technology increases the efficiency and speed of matching client to sex worker: there are even apps which allow customers to filter sex workers according to specifications like breast size, age or height. A new German app even promises that you can order a sex worker the way you would order an Uber car, using GPS to connect client to worker.

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But changing attitudes toward sex work in our society are also part of this trend. The stricter a society is about casual and adulterous sex, the more sex work will be in demand. The acceptance of premarital sex and divorce mean that men are less likely to be driven to sex workers because they can’t get their sexual needs met anywhere else.

It’s a bummer to be a sex worker when prices are falling. But interestingly, it looks like incomes may not have fallen as steeply as the decline in prices would suggest, because sex workers have been able to cut expenses.”

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Taking Time To Make The Time

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More often then not I will spend most mornings doing three things, reading emails, reading comments, and visiting an assload of blogs to see what others have been writing while I struggled staying asleep all night. I, like everyone, have the same 24 hours in a day to make the time to do that which I enjoy. Sadly, a downfall of mine, is more often than not, I don’t leave a comment or reply, thinking I will remember to “come back” to finish, and then forgetting. Who else does that? There are times, more often then not, I “walk” away from posts I disagree with because I don’t like trying to sway the opinions of a convinced writer, it’s not my job. Unless, of course, the truth is actually false due to misguidance or misinformation, even then I often let sleeping dogs lie. What good does it do for the tail to wag the dog.

I guess my point is that I need to commit more time to commenting at the time when I am reading and start re-blogging the posts I really like, which I have found exposes us to a wider circle of readers. I just need to figure out how to easily re-blog posts from the Blogger/Blogspot format to mine here at WordPress. Any suggestions? Which reminds me, reading a post this morning I noticed that another blogger feels that blogs are generally not “policed” for content, with that I must personally disagree because I feel under attack quite a bit of the time. But, that’s another post another time. So, get ready for more comments from me on the blogs I follow, I hope we are all ready because it could get ugly fast. I consider it unfortunate that I am brutally honest because many take it as me being over the top rude in more ways than one. I can live with that assumption. I was born with a sarcastic seed within and I have no problem letting it grow bigger day by day. By the way y’all, I enjoy all of the comments that happen here, sometimes it shows me I really am not alone here on the world wide web of life.

Thank You Everyone!

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Time To Take A Look In The Mirror

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It truly is time for the people of the world to look in the mirror and see that there is only one “race” that will ever matter. Every single human being here on planet dirt share one bond that, no matter what, can never be changed, we all belong to the human race. With that statement I could actually close this post and consider it complete. But, I’m not done yet because there are so many boneheads out there that just don’t get it. Why? Is it too simple in the complexity of our society? Have human beings not evolved enough to recognize that it isn’t our color that makes us different, it’s our DNA. Even with that being said, DNA isn’t even enough to separate one person from every other person on the planet. I have read plenty over the years about how “race” divides our societies and just recently I read a very interesting article at “Classic Ruby: Unadulterated” which sparked up a conversation between myself and the author. She has a way of delivering a message that made me sit back and take a moment to give it all some thought.

Before we actually get into my personal thoughts on “race” I want to point out, especially for new readers, that I am color blind in real life. I don’t use the term metaphorically to make a point but to illustrate how there might be a perspective that y’all haven’t thought about before when thinking about the races on our planet. Sure, I see some color, but I don’t see color the same way as others. In reality, it’s not color blindness but more like seeing with a color deficiency. Overall, it is hard for me to explain, but that’s not the point of this post either. I will make it simple, because it is simple, we need to look at the person next to us as a fellow human. One’s color has little to do with who that person really is. We should spend less time worrying about what race someone is and spend more time just being human to one another.

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But its complicated isn’t it. We can’t look at another human being in black and white. Why not? In my opinion, based on my experiences in life, I find it is because we get programmed through our learning early in life to judge another person because of their color. Why? because they are different than what we see in the mirror. How does that end? I have had people tell me I have it easy in life because I’m white and they are handicapped because they are not white. That being bullshit is putting it mildly. We all take a different course in life, we all make different choices, and we all make different decisions. No, we definitely are not all the same but we all definitely bleed the same color, red. Perhaps it is everything we have in common with each other that drives us to notice the obviously distinctive differences. We need the other person to be different because we don’t want them to be like us. All races are no different in the fact that they like to point out and clarify the differences between the races. But then we sub-divide within the race we belong to as well, further dividing us from our neighbor.

So, I’m white. Does that make me wrong? Does it make me less aware of what the difference amongst the races are? I have been told before, in fact today being the latest time that I’m white therefore I can’t possibly understand anything beyond being white. Why not? Here’s my opinion why not. Look around you, listen to some different music, drive into a different neighborhood, talk with some new people, and y’all will see that different races thrive on being different. They say it makes us a stronger race to recognize ourselves. No, it makes you stupid because you choose to continue with false propaganda witch harms the different races. Have a culture, have a way of life, but don’t use those as excuses to not allow everyone else to do the exact things you want to have freedoms to do. So we are different, so the fuck what.

In closing, I would like to mention that I don’t judge you by your race or your skin color. I will judge you by the words you speak and the actions you take. Too damn bad that every single person on this planet can’t do the same. Racism, at least in the United States, is kept alive by the very people who claim it is holding them back. Again, why? I have found that some people need to be mad at something, anything, right or wrong. People prey on “race” because there is money to be made and 9 times out of 10 it is the same race preying on their own, admit it to yourselves, every race does it. Why? I think this might be a good place to sew up this corpse I have been kicking so I can bury it once again. Race, racism, and the people who proliferate it’s existence really piss me off. I look forward to hearing your thoughts. Feel free to comment openly. Maybe this time I will get to read something new.

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