Retired Resort Employee Explains

I can personally relate to the information that, if you so choose to do so, you’ll read in a few moments. I have traveled a bit in my life, either professionally or personally, and I have always had questions about how “friendly” the resort staff really is and why it is that way. I will use our last vacation to Florida to visit Disney World where we stayed in a Disney resort. Lets just say the behavior of certain staff member was a little strange, although appreciated. I’ll tell y’all what, I will make my next post about that vacation adventure. I wrote allot about it in the past, but never explored this aspect of it all. It was happening all around us as well as to us, read the next post and you’ll understand better.

Anyway, this email comes in to me to explain the sexual side of everyday resorts. It was mentioned that he worked at the same resort for 20 years, starting out at 16, and has since retired from the tourist industry. I won’t ruin it for him, I’ll let him tell it as it was emailed to me. All I ask is that you think long and hard about all your past resort vacations and probably what to look for on your next resort vacation.

—————— Begin Email Message ————–

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Greeting Mr. Scorpion~

I would like to share things about resorts and the people who work there as well as the people who stay at them. I worked at the same one since I was 16 and now 20 years later I have fully retired. Resort guests are the absolute reason I retired, the tips, other money, and the sex made my tenure there very appreciated. So, let’s explain why shall we.

Your daughters, your girlfriends, your fiancées, your wives, and other members of staff ALL tend to pay with sex. Resort workers put up serious weekly numbers. Exotic beaches trigger single women from around the globe slut’s instincts. If she arrives alone its almost too easy. If she arrives with a partner it takes shockingly little effort to get her separated, naked, and on her back. Not to worry, the men have the same opportunities as the women, but most men are usually looking for it anyway, resort workers just make it easy.

Resort pay typically ranges from poor to abysmal so access to a continual stream of cute guests is seen as a crucial benefit if indeed not the main one. This arrangement is fully condoned by management; resorts know they can get away with lower salaries if workers are “wifey-ing up” and happy about their overall working conditions.

All guests, male or female, are for our benefit. During activities and excursions I have guests introduce themselves to each other with names and backgrounds. Innocent questions like hometown and favorite Disney movie are interspersed with more ulterior ones like stop light color (relationship status), celebrity crush (mate preference) and tattoo ownership (slut indicator). We use this information to more efficiently select targets. Kickball, volleyball, red rover and something called “the beach game” turn X-rated quickly. We’ll make up rules that may seem spontaneous but rest assured they aren’t—they’re designed to get women naked and fucking in the shortest time possible.

I know one particularly well-endowed co-worker who had an effective tactic with couples and large groups. First, he would take them out on the boat to play a few drinking games. After the women were sufficiently inebriated he would institute a clothing-off policy in order to continue playing. Since the men were out on a boat with nowhere to go they had little choice but to play along or be deemed pussies by the rest of the boat. They would stand around timidly with their comparatively small penises while the women swooned over his massive member. One or more women would always come find him later that night.

As mentioned previously the financial component of our compensation is rarely much above poverty wages thus rendering us childishly appreciative for laughably meager sums. I still remember my first tip: two friendly Canadian guys handed me the equivalent of 5 dollars after a guest activity. I proceeded to introduce them to every cute girl in the hotel until they clicked with some hotties. I had the bartender send them free bottom shelf shots at the first lull in conversation. They didn’t sleep alone for the rest of their stay.

Bartenders write ad nauseam about the wisdom of taking care of servers; I would argue resort staff are a better allocation of resources because it takes a much smaller sum to impress and our ability to enable a bang is better (we have a more fun and intimate relationship with guests and we’re free to wander the resort to introduce people and take groups up to rooms, secluded balconies, staff quarters, etc.).

We can ruin your vacation in any number of ways. This is sound advice for all customer-employee interactions but nowhere else have I experienced such a profound influence over customer experience. If you are a dickhead I can make sure you won’t get laid. If you are an entitled little princess I will go out of my way to make you feel unwanted and humiliated. This can range from the morally neutral (unfavorable seating/pairings during meals and activities) to the morally wrong (subtly letting it be known to the other guests that you are a creep) to the technically illegal (fighting you when I am drunk enough to not be held responsible).

Because pay is so low, management has little weight to reprimand its workers so more often than not complaints will fall on deaf ears. By accepting the unusual payment arrangement management has acquiesced a degree of authority over worker-guest interactions. Unless what I do is blatant, unambiguous and against the rules, management will most likely turn a blind eye to my behavior. They’d rather keep me hidden until you leave and let me continue unhindered then find and train a new employee. Because 99% of customers leave satisfied this is a deal they are more than happy to accept.

I can only speak for employees typically in positions like hotel reception, surf instructors, tour guides, and housekeepers. The guests are the reason we’re here. People at beach resorts are unsurprisingly a congenial lot and it’s impossible to dislike such a pleasant demographic. I’ve helped many hundreds of cool guests get laid, both guys and girls. In my estimate 90% of guests are great, 9% are neutral and maybe 1% are assholes. It’s only that 1% that would ever get detrimental treatment.

Sharks. Dolphins. Boppers. Cherries. Obviously many professions use code to describe customers: car salesmen have “tire-kickers” (non-serious buyers) and flight attendants have “spinners” (people who can’t find their seats), but due to close customer proximity and our relative youthfulness it’s more prevalent in this profession than others. It would be useless to explain actual terms because they vary from place to place but if you happen to overhear a worker speaking cryptically pay attention. It’s really not hard to decipher and you will benefit from their seasoned assessment. Also useful for locations: “nowhere,” “the dungeon,” “the bat cave.” If you know where we’re talking about then you will know where the party will be.

We get to meet large numbers of women from all over the world and develop fairly accurate mosaics of slutiness based on where she’s from and where she chooses to travel. There are a few combinations that consistently produce rates at  the high end of the bell curve:

American women studying abroad (bonus points for those who choose South America) Southeast Asian girls who choose tourist hotspots (Bangkok, Phuket, Bali, Boracay) American women who frequent the Caribbean.

It should come as no surprise that America is ground zero for whores and sluts who vacation with a constant wetspot in their g-string, and it becomes easy to see why Caribbean guys are so laid back—they have a never-ending supply of rich white girls flying down for sex. Side note: I only know one girl who studied abroad in Africa and she was almost a school-wide joke for the amount of dick she took. With such a small sample I can’t draw conclusions but if you have wider experience with this demographic please get in touch, I’m curious if my suspicions are true.

Planeloads of cute little jaw-dropping sluts from all over the world arrive weekly during the season and if you only speak English you are at a major disadvantage. Being American is not impressive in any way to many foreigners and is in fact often detrimental. Europeans, Asians and South Americans have seen too many of our drunken frat boys and whoring, slutty co-eds to have any respect for us just off the bat. That is until you tell them about the drink specials and ask them how their flight was in their own language. Then suddenly the table of pouty, teenage dreamboats straight off the plane from Madrid is at your full attention. Your value has just increased tenfold and eight eager little smiles greet you whenever you walk up to them. Virginities will be taken before the trip home.

The model quality Prada-toting 18-year-olds from Paris open up her legs pretty wide after you drop some French and wine knowledge on her. And by open up I mean they open it all for the taking. You now are in control of every orifice she claimed to own. If I could do college all over again I would opt for the highest-level language courses available and switch out my electives for a second language.

Not every resort is like this but the crazier ones certainly are. If you haven’t worked in one I would recommend you give it a try for a season. Also, I wouldn’t advise guys to allow their girlfriends to go to these places alone. If you do accompany her, don’t go to bed early if she’s staying up because odds are she is having her cage rattled a few times.

—- Rolando

————— End Of Email Message ———–

Next time you go to a resort somewhere in the world pay attention to the people around you, especially the employees of the resort. They just might be trying to tell you something and you might even like it. This is a fun game for me no matter where I’m at, people watching gets better the older I get. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this tiny inside peek from one of thousands of resort employees. Having a few friends in the cruise ship industry I need to get ahold of them and ask them if the same things are going on, which I can be very positive it is. So, that’s it for now, get busy and plan your next resort vacation, remember me because you know we want to hear about your adventures and see all your great pictures.

Those Damn Teenage Years

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In a recent conversation with my soon to be fourteen year old son, I was reminded of my youth, the choices I was forced to make, and how rough it really is being that age. I like to think I’m taking a different approach to parenting than the approach my parents took with me, I was raised in a wrath of God house by two very devout Catholics with closet human tendencies. Of course, my wife and my style differs from many parents as I’m told. I also get told I’m doing it wrong, the parents are the boss. Before you assume way to much here, I’m not the “friend” parent type. I am the type of parent who has instilled justifiable fear into his children, after all they live in my house, sleep in my house, and scary shit happens when you least expect it. Anyway, I’ve tried very hard to not raise quitters in a society where quitting has become the norm. I believe in self esteem because without it you have little control of your inward or outward emotions. But, we all get to the point where we start asking when is enough going to be enough, when will the madness end, and why can’t this be easier.

We all have given up at some point. All of us at a certain point have stopped believing that we’ll be able to make it. Some of us have done it often, some just very few times, but all of us know how it feels.The  sad fact is that most of us give up far too soon.My son explained to me that he was thinking the other day, why does he actually give up? What are his most common reasons and are there any ways to get around those reasons for giving up?

He thinks discouragement is the biggest reason for quitting and failure. No matter what you have decided to do, as soon as you share it with people there will be at least few who will tell you that YOU Can’t Do it and come up with different reasons about why it can’t be done. At that point you may decide to give up the idea even before giving it a try.  Instead of thinking about giving up think about how are you going to prove all those people wrong.  In fact proving those who doubt me wrong has been pretty good motivation for me so far, I have spent a lifetime trying to stay on top of my game. As well, if you don’t believe in yourself you will always be tempted to give up because you won’t believe in your success. The self-doubt will be keeping you from pushing forward.

I somehow thought that I was not strong enough to make my dreams come true, but then there was a shift in mindset which sort of set me free. And it was one simple realization. The realization that none of the people who have succeeded are better than me. They worked harder, they were persistent and they believed in their dreams, but they were not actually better, just approached life differently, as most of us do. These days there are so many distractions… Social media, TV series, and different smart phone notifications not letting you focus on the important things. If you don’t keep focus on your goal you will end up with insufficient results and that will discourage you even further. But, as I discussed with my son, social media didn’t exist when I was growing up, none of this shit did. My social media was friends and family. My internet was called “the outdoors”, I earned my allowance by being a part of the family unit team. Unlike today, parents give their children money to just leave them alone. As it is, in our house we are pretty tight, we do allot together on a very regular basis. On top of it all we have dinner together, every night, without fail. Also, no television is on, no cell phones are allowed at the table, and we talk or play games while we eat, there is fun and laughter, and it is also a time to gather to discuss more serious matters, if any.

That reminds me of yet another reason we, as humans, give up, we give up when we don’t get the immediate results. We all want things to happen fast and it is hard to realize that there are things that actually takes time. One can not have instant on and instant off like the flick of a light switch each and every time. Some things, to include pets and people, are more challenging, they take more time, things like trust and value in a person have to be developed and earned, which takes time. There is no such thing as overnight success so we have to keep in mind that it takes time and to be prepared not to give up.

When I am starting something new I am on fire. I am full of enthusiasm and I am motivated. But with the time things may start cooling off and at some point the self-motivation may not be enough to keep me moving. That is when I may think about giving up, that is when I need to go back to beginning and try to recall the big why. Why did I start that project in first place and what was initially motivating me? That brings me back on track most of the time. But still we need motivation, we still need the allure that there is a prize waiting for us at the end. No matter what kind of life you had, you are used to your own personal comfort zone and that brings you great comfort. Now when you have initiated changes you entered the stage of uncertainty and struggle, which by no means is comfortable. What makes me not giving up in those cases is the thought that once I get where I wanna be my new comfort zone will be a much better one. But, what I’ve learned over the years cannot be taught, it has to be experienced. This is my son’s struggle know, the learning curve, stepping out of the comfort zone, finding new experiences doing new things or with new people. Plus, he is at the beautiful age where he has really realized he really likes boobs. One more thing we have in common.

Anything worth achieving is hard. Yes the easiest option is to just give up, but then, will it be easy living with the regret that you gave up midway? On the other hand I would not say that giving up is something terrible and wrong. Sometimes you may end up having too many things on your plate and that may make you overwhelmed. Sometimes you may need to give up certain things because they may not be a priority at that point. I find myself looking at the details in my own life on a regular basis, there is never room for bullshit, it is always the first into the fuckbucket. What is important that you don’t give up your dreams and the things you want really bad. Don’t give up your passion and never give up on life. I understand living with a person like me is challenging, being a sarcastic jackass is a fine art and we all don’t appreciate fine art. We all have given up at some point. All of us at a certain point have stopped believing that we’ll be able to make it. Some of us have done it often, some just very few times, but all of us know how it feels. The  sad fact is that most of us give up far too soon.

Where does all this leave the conversation I was having with my son? Well, he was never actually clear as to what he was thinking about quitting. And, I’m not altogether sure we were even talking about the same thing. Later, while talking with my wife I was informed that a girl he knew in school, friends but not inner circle friends, had committed suicide last week. There was no clear reason why, she left no note, gave the parents no inkling that she was distressed, same with her two sisters, teachers, and friends. Except for one person, who came forward to “confess” to her parents that he knew why. You see, they were boyfriend and girlfriend. She wanted an exclusive relationship (at 14) and he wanted to play the field. She took it had, it killed her self esteem and self worth, and according to him, as she told him, she didn’t feel she was worth the effort of having his love if he was not willing to commit to her. Granted, this is the opinion of a 14 year old boy, and this story was also posted up on Facebook, so I don’t really know if it actually ever happened. But, after going back to my son to talk, he said that I did answer his question of “why people quit” without even knowing that was what I was doing. We talked more, we talked about the cruelty of emotions, especially in a teenager. But suicide is not an easy subject, simply because there isn’t an actual answer to give. The only person who knows is dead.

I don’t know if this makes me angry or sad. I do know that I have been in my sons shoes before, knowing a person who has had her self esteem crushed on a daily basis for “fun” by others. But, that is another topic altogether, since bullying seems to have become so evermore popular these days, or its just more in the public eye these days. As a parent I try to teach my children to hope for the best and prepare for the worst because the two survive together hand in hand. One may think they are just words, but others take those words to heart. As uncomfortable as I was talking with my son about suicide and how I personally believe it should never be the answer for anyone, I was also proud of my son for wanting to sit and talk to me about life, emotions, feelings, relationships, and family with me. It takes courage to begin a conversation with your father when you don’t know what the outcome will be. Both of us feeling a little bummed, we invited the rest of the family to go out for ice cream. Ice cream? Yes, the one thing on the planet stronger than any drug, stronger than and alcohol, stronger than any words, stronger than any bond, it is a time of peace for a troubled mind or a troubled soul. Its a time to take a break from the crap life offers and just enjoy a bite of ice cream.

Yes, I know, ice cream doesn’t solve all problems, but it does give the opportunity to step away from them, not to quit them, but to take a break from them. Everyone needs a break, we all take breaks or celebrate in our own ways. In the end I learned from my son that I should keep my past close so it can be accessed and shared. I never knew my life, in general, would be an education tool for the youth in my family. But then again, we do learn most of what we know from our parents and family. Having children has been the best challenge I never quit. Try something new, get in your child’s head today, give them a nice tight hug, a big smile, and a peck on the cheek. When they ask why just tell them it is because you were thinking about them. It scares the crap out of them. I know from experience that life isn’t easy. It wasn’t designed to be easy. We don’t evolve within ourselves if we are not constantly challenged. Don’t let life discourage you, leave that to the people around you, you know, the people who don’t want you to succeed because they don’t care about succeeding. Until we “meet” again, remember to eat it everyday!

A Married Woman’s Confession

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A long time friend of my wife contacted me over the weekend to tell me she had an email waiting for me if I wanted to run with it on my blog. She mentioned that it didn’t really “fit” into any of my categories but thought of me when she started writing it all out. Going in blind I told her to go ahead and send it to me. After reading it, my wife tells me to just post it, fuck a particular category, because this was just a great reading experience. She is right, my wife always said she thought Sarah was a little kinky but could never put her finger on why. So, here we go! The material in the following paragraphs is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. In other words, consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you are about read next.

I am 28 years old, very happily married, and I have a successful career. I am also a sex addict. To give some background, I was a virgin until 19. I had ZERO interest in sex or boys or anything all through high school. I also come from a very good, healthy, loving home. I was never abused or raped growing up and have an amazing relationship with my parents – especially my daddy. I have always been daddy’s little girl and I always will be. I was a very good girl growing up, and I always had good grades, took school seriously, and I have never done any drugs. I’m not even a big fan of swearing. A very straight laced girl right? 

Well once I lost my virginity at 19, it all changed. I don’t know what it was, but something in me exploded and I knew that I loved sex. I moved away to college soon after high school and studied hard. By day I was in class, earning amazing grades and a near perfect GPA. By night I was having sex with men I met at the clubs. 

Now let me be frank about this. I am a self-proclaimed slut. I am really not sure how many men I have slept with for certain, but the number may easily be 100. I have done a lot of wild things. Group sex, public sex, strip shows for fun at parties, sex with much older men (when I was 19 I had an on\off sexual relationship with one of my father’s coworkers who was 51). But the thing is, I am not in any way ashamed of anything I have done in my past. I was always safe, and never put myself in any dangerous situations. I was on birth control, and I always used condoms on top of it. I also got regularly tested as an extra precaution and piece of mind. My friends and family always knew that I was a very level headed and independent woman. But sex was my outlet.

Without sounding like I am being conceited, I am very tall (6 feet) and very attractive (considered one of the pretty girls in high school, even though I was not really into that clique or even cared at that time). Getting male and some female attention was never really a problem for me. Men were quickly drawn to me. I am also openly bisexual and have been romantically involved with both men and women. In my life, the only two times I ever truly fell deeply in love with anyone has been with my, now husband, and a woman that I dated for a while in college. 

I am also very obsessed with my sexuality and femininity. I dress incredibly feminine and sexy at all times. Not trashy mind you. I am talking, very tasteful dresses, skirts, a lot of vintage inspired outfits, and always high heels. I am so obsessed with wearing high heels that I wear them around the house at all times. I plan the next day’s heels out in advance and place them by the bed, so that when I get up in the morning, the first thing I do is slip my feet into my heels. They are such a crucial extension of my femininity and I feel so naked and uncomfortable without them. I am so triggered by feminine sexuality that I am obsessed with admiring and surrounding myself with beautiful women who embody femininity. I am also attracted to feminine women like myself and my romantic female-female love relationships were with women who were tall, had soft-skin, long beautiful hair, and were feminine like me.

I dress sexy at home and at work and I love it. I am always in a skirt or a dress and obviously I love my high heels, which easily pushes me up to 6’5” tall and turns me into a walking pair of legs that turns a lot of heads. I am obsessed with being a sex icon. While my work attire may be close to the line of inappropriate, I always manage to stay with sexy, sophisticated. I work with all men and they don’t seem to mind and no one has ever sat me down and complained. I am still always professional and they are all very respectful. In fact, if I actually didn’t come in too dressed up, everyone would wonder what was up. On the rare occasion that I change out of my heels, everyone comments on it and is shocked to see me, since they are used to seeing their leggy office girl. I enjoy being the eye candy in the office and I feel that for some of them, I can be the best part of their day. And for the record, none of them treat me with any disrespect or have ever harassed me and I am friendly with all my boys at the office. Plus being the only female makes me queen of my department.

Now on to my marriage: I am in a loving and wonderful marriage and I could not be happier. I am infinitely loyal to him in every way and never have and never will cheat on him. Our marriage is a bit different though, because we are a Dominant\submissive couple. I love being submissive to him. I wear sexy lingerie, or costumes, and other erotic outfits and high heels around the house at all times, and I live under a set of rules that he has for me. Now this is not in any way an abusive relationship. Far from it in fact. I feel the safest ever in his control. He never hurts me and we, of course, talk about bills and finances like equals just as any other couple does. I have input in our relationship, but in all other facets, I am submissive to him. This is a lifestyle I chose to live and I am happy this way. I can’t imagine living a life any other way.

When I have sex, I like it frequent and I like it rough. We often engage in bondage- nothing extreme or that causes injuries, of course, and I like him to dominate me and use me as he pleases. I love being his as he wants me. Submission is my outlet. Its liberating to me. We have been married for 3 years and our marriage is stronger than ever, thanks in part to our lifestyle, which we both enjoy immensely and because we know each other so well. No other man knows my limits for pain as well as he does, and can respect my boundaries without every breaking them. This is the ultimate relationship of trust. We also talk about our lifestyle every week and discuss things as a couple, and we are very serious about always keeping communication going no matter what. We are always checking in with each other.

I know this is all a lot of information, but sooner or later i needed to let some of this out. I seem to be a very rare type of woman. I am into very rough sex, I have slept around with around 100 men, many strangers, and I love exhibitionism. On the other hand, I come from a good home, am a sweet girl to everyone, and I have very high self-esteem and ambition. These things seem to be at odds. I read so many awful stories of how so many women become sexually compulsive because of early childhood abuse, or bad relationships with their parents at home, and are usually miserable and have low self-image. I had an amazing family life growing up, I am still close to my parents who are still married, I am happy with my life and all of my choices in it, and I have very high ambition and high self-esteem. I am happy in my marriage and my job. I love myself. And on top of it, I am not at all ashamed of my past and in fact resent the stigma that being a slut is a bad thing at all as long as you are safe and smart, which I always am.

So what is going on here? I don’t wear panties under my skirt because I masturbate at least three times a day and panties get in the way. There is also the thrill of people potentially getting a peek at me. I’m obsessed with being an object of sexual desire, and I am happy with it. My husband can barely keep up with me, the poor guy, because I just need so much sex but he does his best. I masturbate at work when I am alone. How did I go from never even thinking about sex or even boys up through high school turn into full blown sexual addiction at 19? What makes a good sweet little daddy’s girl with good grades, like me, go out at night and have sex with four men at once at a party? How did I manage to find random men at a club or a bar and so easily feel comfortable having sex with them against a wall around the side of the building or in his or my car? How was I able to have a “no strings attached” long term sexual relationship with my male roommate in college, and not ever develop feelings, but then became clingy and loyal to any boyfriend or girlfriend I became romantically connected with? 

On top of everything, why am I so emotionally stable? I have never had depression and have always been a happy and confident woman. So why does “rape role-play” with my husband arouse me so much? How exactly after losing my virginity at 19, did I get so sexually confident that I seduced my dad’s 51 year old coworker at his home and never once had a second thought about doing it? How can I, on one hand, have sex or give oral to nearly any man that was interested and I found half way cute without batting an eye, yet still have enough sense to use birth control, condoms and get frequently tested? 

How abnormal is this?

For the record, I do have a therapist who is baffled. He says that one hand I am definitely a sexual compulsive based on many factors, however I am an anomaly in that I somehow manage to avoid putting myself in dangerous situations, or letting it cause any problems in my life or negatively affect my life. Though he isn’t too happy to know that I am masturbating in my office at work, and considers that a bit risky.

Does any of this make sense to you? I am not asking for advice because of shame. I actually feel no shame, and as long as I am happy and confident, then I will continue to live a great life. I am asking for advice, I suppose because I just want to understand myself better. I want to get into my own mind and understand what drives me.

To leave you with just one more recent scenario, my husband and I recently visited and old college friend of mine who I reconnected with online and turned out to live nearby. We both dressed up and had dinner at her place. We had wine and some laughs, but I noticed she was getting flirty with my husband. She’s always been the flirty type, and I’m a bit of the jealous type, so when I saw her finding excuses to touch him, like slowly brushing bread crumbs off his shirt sleeve, the green eyed monster came out and I immediately started doing ownership moves toward him. When we got home he went to the bathroom and when he came out he found me, nearly completely naked, and bondage tape next to me and I told him that I needed him to tie me up and dominate me hard. My jealousy had turned into rabid desire at the thought of my friend wanting him and it made me so insanely horny. While he was aggressively thrusting inside of me, I begged him to spank me, harder, and harder, and harder, until we were way past our usual threshold. I don’t know why, but I wanted it hard that night. After more begging, I had him finish by holding me by my throat and spanking me until my butt was beet red and tears were running down my face. And, by the way, I had one of the most intense orgasms I can recall in probably years. This happened just last night, and my butt is sore to sit on still, and…goodness help me, but I love it, and I loved him spanking me to that needed emotional release. I’m glad he is my husband and knows that crying during rough sex is an emotional outlet for me, where most men would freak out. 

How am I so well adjusted as a woman, yet in need of such extreme arousal? How does a confident and independent woman in a great career and a great salary, also feel alive to be a sexual object for man to lust after? Am I weird for wearing high heels everywhere except when I shower or go to bed? Am I weird that I lose a bit of my confidence and femininity if I don’t have high heels on? Where does my obsession with my own sexual femininity come from? And why I am so happy with my life and have such a great, wholesome childhood, yet still become a complete slut in college? 

I just need to understand my own mind here. I was thinking of making my own blog one day, I wonder how that would go over.

Posted From Scorpion Sting’s Motorola Droid Maxx!

Was There A Severe Misunderstanding?

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Was there some kind of severe misunderstanding somewhere? Did the lines get crossed somewhere between here and some distant parallel universe? This must be what happened because there is absolutely no reason for anyone to think I or what I say is fucking funny. I know I am not funny and I have never claimed to be funny. Sarcastic as fuck, but not funny. I might post things or pictures which amuse me and I find funny, but that is just me posting sophmorically funny shit that I believe other people might get a chuckle out of. Make no mistake, its sarcasm and not me trying to me funny. Yes I have a point and yes I will get to it, just hold on to your panties, unless you are going commando then that is something else to sidetrack me. Be patient, ready, here we go.

Normally I would not glorify a person who has taken time to spam me. In a way this should serve as a PSA so y’all can look out for her stupid shit. At least I think its a her, the comment had a, what I assume to be, a female name. Y’all be the judge. The name attached was Elizabeth Ashley R. (Suckers, I never give out last names) so if you get a message that gets past your spam blocker you will recognize her name I promise. See, sounds female enough doesn’t it? If I am wrong, well, fuck you because you have a girl’s name. Anyway, she hit me with the picture at the top of this post when commenting on a recent post of mine, not a solo picture, but something I actually took the time write. She mentioned that as well, my writing sucks dick because it has no style. Now, I almost spit out my cigarette that I was smoking when I read that line because that was funny shit in my opinion. I thought about sending her an email but the email address connected with her name was not legit. How convenient. She was able to drop in and drop her cunt drippings and I can’t even thank her. Well, that’s not true now is it? I can thank her/him/it right here and right now. Thank you Elizabeth for making me smile you miserable excuse for a bitch reject. There, that should work just fine don’t y’all think? Actually, I hope she does the ol snail crawl back on this blog sooner or later, we have so much catching up to do.

So, there y’all go. Now you are witnesses to my confession, I know I am not funny. I am, however, a seriously sarcastic fuck who, at times, gets a little out of hand. Whew, haven’t done a confession like that since the 8th grade. I feel better getting that off my chest. How about y’all, any confessions?