Sometimes The Gift Bites Back

My recently married daughter and her husband have a habit of just picking up trinkets and t-shirts from gift shops when they are out tooling around in different places. Last night being no different, after a day spent in Old Town Spring, Texas going to shops and finally to dinner they returned knocking on the door to give me a surprise. Knowing I will try just about anything with some heat they believed they found the perfect gift for me.

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So now that you have looked at the picture I’m going to write out the label that can’t really be seen in it’s entirety. I warn you now that the language is quite colorful and might offend those of y’all who are sensitive to this kind of thing. But you know me, I like to share the things I find somewhat twisted and very interesting. The label reads as follows.

“We warned you. This is a seriously fuckin’ hot sauce. That’s right we said it — because we had to. There is no other way to describe just how hot this sauce is. I suppose we could have said “it’s like the fiery depths of Hell” or “that it’s ass-burning” and even “keep away from pets and small children and avoid contact with sensitive areas”, but that just seems so wordy. The sauce is hot as fuck! Succinct, to the point — no beating around the bush! Honesty is always the best policy, isn’t it? If this sauce burns intensely, don’t be afraid to let it out. Scream fuck at the top of your lungs. You’ll feel better. There is no better verbal therapy.”

Let me also include the short list of ingredients in case y’all can’t see them that great. They include habanero peppers, african oleoresin, scotch bonnet peppers, salt, onion, vegetable oil, acetic acid, garlic, and xanthan gum.

Here’s the big question y’all are begging to ask me, is it fucking hot? Not to deter from the awesome label and product description, but it was an average heat for a hot sauce. With that being said, I must admit I’m a bit jaded when it comes to heat. I grow, process, and consume a variety of insanely hot peppers down to the common pepper for flavoring bland food. What I really liked was it’s bold flavoring and the way it cinged my nose hair a bit when taking a deep sniff. However, for the rookies and amateurs it just might be a bit over the top. The average Joe might not want to toss the wings in this sauce and serve it up to family, I’m just saying.

My question to all of y’all out there would be, what do you find to be too fucking hot to consume?

Pepsi White (Yogurt Flavored Pepsi)

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Who has ever, EVER been eating some nasty ass yogurt and then thought quietly to themselves, “man, I could smash this shit into a fucked up Pepsi flavor right now”. NO ONE, NO ONE EVER IN THE WORLD HAS EVER THOUGHT THAT unless they were an axe murderer who also eats humans and maybe doesn’t even have a tongue, but definitely lives in Japan where this weird shit is dreamt up. Their acid must be way stronger that what we get here locally.

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If Scorpio Was An Ice Cream Flavor

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If the zodiac sign Scorpio was an ice cream flavor it would be chocolate chip cookie dough for sure. Need to better understand why? Scorpios know exactly how to get to the bottom of things. Scorpios know how to ask the right questions to get y’all to think deeper and to realize what y’all actually want…. and what you actually want is that ice cream with that chocolate chip cookie dough tucked inside that vanilla ice cream. If you are in Texas there is only ONE brand to turn to, Blue Bell for sure. I don’t know if the yankees and foreigners have access to Blue Bell or not, nor do I really care, but if not, then it is y’all taking the loss there.

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Posted From Scorpion Sting’s Motorola Droid Maxx!

Reminiscence Of Japanese Kit Kats

While I was doing something completely different this morning I stumbled across a picture which displayed a Kit Kat made in Japan which was in a flavor I can’t begin to imagine as a candy flavor, it was wasabi. Almost instantly I was taken back to Japan in a rather pleasant memory. I was reminiscent of the different flavor chocolates I saw personally while I lived there. Before I go any further, I must admit I have one true weakness when it comes to chocolate and that is the original Kit Kat, I can’t stop eating them if they are near me. So, I thought it would be fun to take y’all down this path of mine while I explored the seasonal and regional flavors of Kit Kats offered over the years in Japan. Unfortunately for me, the different flavor varieties didn’t start in Japan until 1996, well after I was gone, and that was a date I had to look up since I never recalled seeing any variations. Let me just make a quick housekeeping note here, the three images used here today were found during an internet search on Google.
 Here is a sample (not all inclusive) of flavors of Kit Kats found in Japan over the years. Japanese Kit Kats are generally categorized in 3 categories: Regional, Seasonal, or Evergreen.
Yuzu Chili
Citrus
Soy Sauce
Cherry
Wasabi
Sakura Macha Green Tea
Sweet Potato
Aloe
Blueberry Cheesecake
Miso
Edamame
Pickled Plum
Custard
Grilled Corn
Purple Yam
Shinsu Apple
Red Bean Sandwich
Strawberry Tart
Pancake
Black Honey
Orange
Strawberry Cheesecake
Watermelon with Salt
Salt and Caramel
Pumpkin
Espresso
Caramel Macchiato
Pineapple
Wa Guri (Chestnut)
 Bubblegum
Mango
Rose
Lemon Vinegar
Iced Tea
Cucumber
Kinako
Apple
Kiwi
Peach
Cantaloupe
Green Grape Muscat
Beet
Pepper
Kobe Pudding
Banana
Lemon Chocolate
Apple Vinegar
Ginger Ale
Ramune
 
Now, as mentioned above the list, this is not the all inclusive end all list of the flavors of Kit Kat to be found in Japan. But, it’s a nice sample so y’all can see some of the flavors that might be considered “bizarre” in the United States. For those of y’all that can read Japanese, the Nestle Kit Kat Japan website is supposed to have resources which include keeping up to date with all the new releases as well as worldwide shipping for purchases. I also understand that there are many Kit Kat gift packs that can be bought on Amazon.com and eBay.com for those of y’all thinking about it. Is a gift pack of off the wall Japanese Kit Kat flavors something that someone gives as a gift? If so, keep me in mind.
Like I mentioned, as far back as I can remember I have one favorite chocolate candy I really enjoy eating and that truly is the original Kit Kat. Included in my reading this morning I also found that there are more than a handful of countries which produce the Kit Kat. Some of those have produced other flavors as well, might be fun to do a little bit more research on all of that. Which makes me wonder if the production of Kit Kats in the United States will ever try some new flavors. So, if the heads of Nestle are reading this right now just let it be known I have a few flavor ideas. And, not just no, but hell no, one of them definitely is NOT bacon.
 

What In The Hell Is Wrong With Nabisco?

Behold, Watermelon Oreo cookies. On one hand bizarre, yet still perfect for summer. I’ve become so desensitized to Oreo upgrades that nothing surprises me anymore, but for those who haven’t closely studied Nabisco’s obsession with freaky Oreo flavors over these past many years, this might be a shocker. As far as I was concerned, I wasn’t impressed, it was way too sweet for me.