Girls Just Wanna Have Jack

Speaking of Jack, I had a good friend email me asking why I have done a couple different glamour tributes here on the blog but NEVER to the Jack Daniel’s girls. She has taken it upon herself to send me a small portion of her personal favorites and asks of me to please post them for her. So, I plan on doing just that, but before we begin, I want you to read my favorite part of her message to me.

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“Seriously, I’ve been bartending for several years and I wanna smack the piss out of every fucking girl who has me make them a fucking amaretto sour or a damn melon ball (etc.). I actually blew an otherwise successful job because I refused to let this wack job girl order a fuzzy navel. What a waste of time and money to drink fruity concoctions, have it straight up and have Jack. I believe if you are going to drink, drink with purpose and with pride. A girl that can handle Jack straight is to be held above others. I’d be damn proud to sit down and drink with you. So here’s to you “Jack Daniels drinking chick!”, you have my respect.”

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Review Of Yeo’s Grass Jelly Drink

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This review was provided by a friend who emailed me, it was requested that I not provide her information, nor did she include any form of source. After countless reports and criticisms from all corners, many of you are probably still undecided on the quality of this beverage. Well skeptics, here is the definitive review of this enigma of a drink, one  that has polarized so many and left people thinking, will it live up to the hype?

Yeoman’s have really stepped up their game when it came to the presentation of their latest. Grass Jelly drink features a sleek 300ml can with a bold Black stripe dominating the design. It also has ninja stars on it. This can begs to be drank, and the appetising wisps of grass (jelly) poking through both entice and ask some pretty serious questions about what the drinker is in for! Overall, they’ve done a good job, concealing just enough from us to want to have a look inside, whilst not spoiling everything.

A quick whiff of what’s inside provides the drinker with an overwhelming bouquet of sour grass and black tea notes, its strong, so you’ll want to do this in a well ventilated area. I would recommend letting the can sit open for a few moments before tasting, as the aroma opens up considerably, providing a slightly mellower experience. The drink has a hint of sweetness to it, but is dominated by bold rotting banana leaf, finishing with a slight hint of mold and copper. There were some floaty bits in it, what i was assuming is the jelly, and these were popping with vibrant grassy hues. Overall a most horriffic experience.

If you came to town for weirdness, you should look no further than Yeo’s Grass Jelly drink. It’s enigmatic packaging is a bold step for the company and the taste is absolutely one of the strangest things i have ever experienced. I can’t wait to see what they do next!

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Cocaine Energy Drink, For Real?

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What in the fuck are these people thinking? Highly caffeinated energy drink that contains three and a half times (280 mg) the caffeine of a more popular energy drink, Red Bull.

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Pepsi White (Yogurt Flavored Pepsi)

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Who has ever, EVER been eating some nasty ass yogurt and then thought quietly to themselves, “man, I could smash this shit into a fucked up Pepsi flavor right now”. NO ONE, NO ONE EVER IN THE WORLD HAS EVER THOUGHT THAT unless they were an axe murderer who also eats humans and maybe doesn’t even have a tongue, but definitely lives in Japan where this weird shit is dreamt up. Their acid must be way stronger that what we get here locally.

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Feel Like A Duracell Energy Drink?

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It appears that Duracell has tapped into their brand’s obvious associations with energy to create a battery-like beverage designed to give people a nice little jolt. The Duracell energy drink has been available in the Czech market for a few years now. Unfortunately, there is no word yet on whether we can expect a bunny-laden Energizer drink to be cruising its way onto American store shelves sometime in the immediate future.

Posted From Scorpion Sting’s Motorola Droid Maxx!

Why? Because I’m The Bartender

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Okay, so for the couple of days I have posted some really fucked up international alcohol bastardizations, yes, I’m aware of all of this already. No shit, I’m the one posting them. As a result or response to to these postings I have been getting emails and messages exclaiming protest. There have even been a few who just wanted to tell me goodbye because their stomachs couldn’t handle any more. The common question is “why” am I posting such disgusting alcoholic beverages? Why? Why? Why indeed. Do I need a reason? Do I need permission? Where was the warning? Warning? Y’all need a warning? I’m still laughing, can y’all hear me? I’m pretty sure I don’t need any permission to post. The simple answer to ALL your questions is that I’m a bartender.

As a bartender, I enjoy studying about new, different, or non-mainstream ways of preparing, presenting, and serving the drinks I make. Oh, Yea, sure, I work in an American bar, but I don’t have to make it boring. On top of that, I bartend in a full nude strip club, so nothing is exactly normal about mixing or serving drinks there. Sometimes in my research I get sidetracked, then I begin to start a little reminiscing of my time in Japan, Iceland, and Korea, as well as some other places I can’t mention because “I was never there”. Then BOOM!, that shit ends up right here. Its not magic, it just happens. My wife says I have bartender on the brain, meaning that I never stop thinking of ways to use alcohol.

Were some of the pictures less than appetizing? Yes, of course they were, but to some people it was like a trip to the pantry or liquor cabinet. It was the perfect opportunity to launch one if my new categories, Odd Drinks Around The World, because that shit had no other place to be listed. We will be seeing more bizarre alcohols in the future, just know I do it because I’m the bartender.