Stop Asking Me What Color It Is!

question-mark

For those of y’all who weren’t aware, I’m color blind, I suffer from deuteranopia (deu-ter-an-opia) (dü-tə-rə-ˈnō-pē-ə) to be more specific. Before I get into this post I want to give y’all some information that may help you in the future when you encounter person who suffers from color blind/ color deficient vision. Deuteranopia:(also called green-blind). In this case the medium wavelength sensitive cones (green) are missing at all. A deuteranope can only distinguish 2 to 3 different hues, whereas somebody with normal vision sees 7 different hues. Don’t forget that y’all also know how to Google things, but this time I helped y’all out. I don’t get angry easy, I don’t hate too many things (the list is real short), but I draw the line seeing the humor asking anyone who is color blind “what color something is” because it isn’t a game for us, period. We live our lives seeing this beautiful world the way we see this beautiful world and that is the end of that.

Now, I was not born color blind that I know of, or at least not completely according to my mother, but when it actually started I couldn’t tell you. I do know I failed my first driver’s license test because I failed to be able to distinguish the colored number hidden within the colored dots. After a trip to the optometrist it was declared that I was “suffering” from deuteranopia. The optometrist mentioned to my mother that it was probably accelerated a great deal due to some head trauma I had a little less than a year before. So, from age 16 on I have learned to trick my mind into seeing things that are not there. Memorization of certain things helps as well. I make do, as we all do, we do it everyday, not because it is a choice, but it is what it is and that is how we are forced to live.

color-blindness

The times I hate most about being color blind is when someone new finds out. Why? It’s simple, because they immediately, and I mean absolutely immediately, begin asking me to tell them what color this thing is or what color do I see for that thing. Enough is enough. Here is the plain and simple truth, I don’t know what colors y’all are seeing in the first place so any comparison I make is pointless. I vowed, after today, to punch the next person in the face with a chair who asks me what color something is because, unlike for that person, it is not a joke to me. Therefore, my gift will be a chair to the face. Lights out bitches! I consider it rude and very insensitive to not take into consideration that it is a condition and not a choice, and it definitely is not a freaking game of red light green light or simon says.

I do get asked how this affects my daily life overall, in a nutshell, and how do I “cope” with it. Well, first, I don’t look at it as a handicap of any sorts, it’s just how my life is. There are challenges I assure you, but when one gets good enough at interpreting the world around himself it becomes much more easy. As an example, take driving into consideration, all signs, signals, and warnings are in color. It blows my wife’s mind still to this day because I can “tell” what “color” the traffic signal is and she doesn’t get out. All traffic lights are either vertical or horizontal, with the colors either top to bottom or left to right, red always being on top or on the left. So, when one is lit up I can tell which one it is and what I need to do, stop, caution, or go. My problem is single flashing signals because who in the hell knows what color they are flashing.

A few other challenges I have are when I cook, things turn a different color when heat is applied. For example, beef and other red meats I need help discerning when they get “browned” 50% of the time. How to overcome this set back? Everything has a time at a temperature when it begins to transition, so I cook by time and smell mostly. Which is why smoking foods is easy for me. Picking out my own clothes can be challenging. My solution? 98% of the clothes that are in my closet are black in some variation. All of my underwear are black. All of my socks are black. All of my boots and shoes are black. Both of my hats, cowboy and baseball, are black. My watch, wallet, belt, and even my wedding ring are black as well. However, I take my wife’s word for it if she tells me a color looks good on me if we are shopping. Colored or white shirts stand out in my closet trust me. So, y’all might ask if I like the color black and my answer is that the color black is easy. One cannot not mis-coordinate the color black, at least not in my world. I do have my fair share of camouflage as well, but that just goes where I live and what my hobbies are.

So, my advice to any one of y’all who feel your curiosity is warranted, justified, or just cute, just remember how a chair to the face will feel because that is how you make me feel. I’m not here on planet dirt to be someone’s parlor game or freak-show. If y’all want shit like that then go visit your local Walmart for fun. Does it suck being color blind? Not for me because I don’t have anything to compare it to. Last reminder. Chair. Face. Last bit before I close. It has been brought to my attention that the colors on my blog are all jacked up and sometimes it is hard to see. I know this, but that isn’t how I see it.

color_blind_12

Who Does This To People?

Who takes the time to write a nasty sarcastic note and place it under a person’s windshield wiper? Do the Eco-Nazis have nothing better to do with their time then harass people because of what they drive? Before I get too deep into why I’m writing this morning let me just say that shit like this really doesn’t piss me off since stupid people judge others without actually knowing what the fuck they are talking about. It’s a bit annoying tho. Just so happens I did drive my Hummer H1 to work this morning because I had to pick up some bottled water and ice for the warehouse. It was more than I could even think about trying to carry on my Goldwing. So, the choice was made so I could pick up 24 cases of water and 36 bags of ice to take in to work. And yes, I do have disabled veteran (DV) handicap license plates on my H1. Yes, I do park in a handicap parking space.

I think what irritates me the most is the size of balls people have in today’s world. Why do people care so much about what other people have and the things they do not. Who’s business is it what I drive? I wonder what they noticed first, that my H1 is fire engine red, that I was parked in a handicap space, or the fact that I have DV plates? Because all three things seemed to be a factor in this note someone took the time to write. Which brings me to my next point. Someone made the conscious choice to leave me this note. They had to of walked by my H1, had their brain fart idea, went to their car, wrote out a note, walked back to my H1, and politely placed the note under my windshield wiper. That takes planned thought and executed dedication to go all the way. Unfortunately the pussy didn’t leave any contact information so we could discuss his/her concerns. Hell, they were so proud of what they had to say they didn’t even put their name. Takes a brave motherfucker to have the balls to leave a note on an innocent shopper’s vehicle. And for what? Because I drive an H1? Don’t these Eco-Nazis have anything at all better to do with their time? Actually, I don’t know they were Eco-Nazis since they don’t say. For all I know it was someone who is jealous of one of the things mentioned. Or, somewhere they were wronged by someone who drives a HUMMER H1 and have been waiting to unleash backlashtic hell on someone innocent. What a fucktard!

I have given this some thought and decided I wanted to breakdown and analyze this great reminder why some people should not breed. One day natural selection will catch up with them and when it does Karma will take over and set things right. Life itself is a vicious circle of a bitch and it does come around to bite the stupids in the ass. It’s nice to know that people are still willing to write a note. I would be willing to bet that they even took the time to take a picture of the work so they could Tweet about it and then update their Facebook status. “Check this shit out bro, I showed this asshole!” Well, according to the note, they observed the size and the color of my H1 correctly. I don’t know that I would call it a giant, but it is large and it is red. The rest is just someone being mean spirited. Hey, I wish I wasn’t a disabled vet, I wish I had the knees I was born with, and I wish the mere action of walking wasn’t so fucking painful. We won’t even get into the penis envy thing.

So, why do I drive this giant red HUMMER H1? My question to you is why the fuck would you even care? I should mention this all took place in the parking lot of a big box grocery store in the back of the neighborhood I live in. I have never seen a beater car in the parking lot, ever. Wherever you look you will see Lexus, Mercedes, BMW, Corvette, Porche, Cadillac, Audi, HUMMER H2 & H3, and so on. So, I can rule out that they were singling me out because I drove a cheap beater piece of shit. I suppose at this point I really don’t care because the note was cute and humorous to me personally. When I first got this H1 I was at a different store, I still had paper tags for a license plate and some fucktard thought it would be funny to flatten one of my tires. What the fucktard didn’t realize, out of stupidity I suppose, that it came equipped with self sealing run flat dual tube insert tires that cannot be deflated the old fashion way. In fact, I got a souvenir knife out of the deal since they jabbed the serrated blade in and couldn’t get it back out. I guess in the end we all get what we want. I searched the continental United States for months to locate this specific year model and color H1 because this is the one I wanted. I wasn’t going to “settle” for another color or year model and I was prepared not to ever find one that was actually for sale. The person that wrote the note, I can only assume, got some kind of satisfaction out of it. I’m about ready to give up trying to figure out people in general because there is always one person that ruins what I enjoy about being me and that is individuality.

So, anyway, I just thought I would share this gem of a note from one of my fellow humans. Stupid shit like this makes me think. My wife wondered if it pissed me off any. My answer? Nope, just annoyed me a bit since I had to get back out of the H1 and go to the passenger side to remove it from the windshield. C’est la vie!