Friends, family, haters, wannabes, and lollygaggers, do I have a special deal for y’all. Over the years I have given McDonald’s restaurants my fair share of shit for many different reason. Mostly because their shitty sludge they peddle off as food genuinely sucks the sweat from my nutsack. This blog entry is for those who think that bringing children or adults into McDonald’s is innocent fun. Sorry for those who don’t appreciate it, but in my opinion, people should not go to fucking McDonald’s for any reason, much less take children to consume that bullshit they pass off as consumable food. But to each his fucking own I guess.
But, enough about the disgustingly disturbing food, there is so much more that you just might not know when forking over your cold hard cash for their version of fast food. The seven worst facts about McFuckingDonald’s are as follows. They are not in a particular order even though they are numbered that way. Y’all be the judge.
1st. They want employees to work on holidays without paying overtime. McDonald’s has a long history of harmful labor practices, but this is especially greedy: the company maintains its franchises to be open on Thanksgiving Day (U.S. holiday) and Christmas Day. Worse, employees working these days do not get overtime, they do not get compensation, nor do they see anything fucking extra in their check. It has been publically stated for many years that when the stores are open on holidays, staff willingly offers to work at no extra pay. I call bullshit on that. Who in their right mind wouldn’t want to be paid something extra for working holidays
In the not so distant past a company did some calculations and found that McDonald’s earned $36 million extra for staying open just on Thanksgiving Day. It’s bad enough that McDonald’s pays out shitty wages, but they cannot go further and pay extra for employees who give up their damn time off to earn the company millions of dollars. Now that’s some McGreedy motherfuckers!
2nd. Employees are not paid well in general. The fact that employees do not receive overtime for working on holidays is already bad, but that they barely earn much throughout the year and that is the reality for workers at McDonald’s worldwide. I can see why the term McJob has become synonymous with all that is wrong in poorly paid jobs in the service sector of the U.S. economy, because, no matter what job you have, it will be better than working in a fast food restaurant. And of course, McDonald’s is the largest existing fast-food chain on the fucking planet anyways.
Here is some fun math for yall. An ordinary employee of McDonald’s would have to work a million hours – or more than a century – to earn the same as a McDonalds CEO receives in a year (8.75 million dollars). The good news is that the employees in the fast food sector, including McDonald’s employees, recently began to organize to demand better wages and better treatment. However, what I see in the news is that isn’t working out real well for them.
3rd. Their marketing aimed at children is pretty fucking creepy and pedophilically predatory. A few years ago the group, Center for Science in the Public Interest, announced its intention to sue McDonald’s for its “creepy and predatory” marketing aimed at children. In his letter, the CSPI compared McDonald’s to “that stranger in the playground offering candy to children” and said the company uses “unfair and deceptive marketing to attract young children.” “The ambiguous approach of targeted marketing to children by McDonald’s can be seen in a recent press release that says that the promotion company for the movie “Shrek” will encourage children to ‘deshrek’ their Happy Meals around the world with menu options such as fruits, vegetables, milk and juices.” In reality, however, the main point of the Shrek promotion is to attract children to McDonald’s, where they end up making less healthy choices and eating caloric meals.” Of course, this is not the first time or the last damn time that McDonald’s is under fire for using Happy Meal toys to lure children as consumers, and as the company is the world’s number one distributor of toys, it certainly is not the last.
4th. It has a salad with more fat than a burger and fries and the least healthy granola on the planet. McDonald’s launched a Caesar salad more greasy than one of their fucked up burger and fries. The Daily Mailnoticiou reports that “with the seasoning and croutons, the salad contains 425 calories and 21.4 grams of fat compared with 253 calories and 7.7 grams of fat in a burger.” Adding a serving of fries to your burger, the calories still add up to 459, with less fat than the salad (16.7 g). Now that is one fucking impressive salad. More recently, the granola (which comes along with yogurt) – another “healthy” menu option – was criticized for being no good for you. The New York Times wrote that the company’s granola is not anything but “junk food”. It continues by stating: “a more accurate description than ‘100% natural whole grain , soft raisins, sweet cranberries and crisp fresh apples’ would be ‘oats, sugar, sweetened dried fruit, cream and 11 weird ingredients you would never have in your kitchen.” I wonder if there are any chemists out there who would be willing to guess what those 11 weird ingredients could be? Probably something toxic none of us can pronounce.
5th. The burgers do not decompose. Who can forget that there was a woman a couple of years ago who left a burger and fries from McDonald’s on a on her kitchen table for six months only to find that nine of it had decomposed? If you think this is a legend or record, a researcher found that McDonald’s hamburgers can actually ruin under certain circumstances, but in general they do not decompose on their own. According to him, “The burger does not spoil because their small size and relatively large surface area help to lose moisture. No moisture, no mold or bacterial growth.” Basically, the burger meat becomes dry before it cann decompose.
That is, there is a question of nasty chemicals that keep the burger intact, but it is still nothing but shit slop I wouldn’t feed my worst enemies. Well, with the exception of my ex-wife, she needs a triple dose. She is actually the reason I have the opinions I do, she ate that shit like it was going out of style, and that pathetic cunt would put that garbage in front of my daughter and I to eat. I said fuck it all those years ago and remain strong in my beliefs.
6th. McDonald’s used “pink slime” for years. Not long ago, we saw and we were horrified with the images of “pink slime”, which is a substance derived from mechanically separated chicken parts which for years was used to make the nuggets from McDonald’s, at least in the U.S. and the UK. The substance is considered illegal for human consumption. Recently, thanks to activists, ‘pink slime’ was banned from U.S. school lunches. The good news is that, since the image began circulating, McDonald’s was forced to discontinue the use of pink slime. (The company ensures that the public outrage had nothing to do with the decision.) Buklshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Fucking Bullshit.
7th. McDonald’s is everywhere. You can try, but you will never escape McDonald’s. In the U.S., the only place where you can be 100 miles from a McDonald’s is in the desert on the border of Oregon and Nevada. It is global and never, at the climbing rates, going the fuck away. Why? Because people won’t stop going, they continue to pay the McFucks to poison their entire family. Well, I do my part because I don’t allow it, ever. Want to see someone go balls to the wall ballistic? Just offer me a fry and see what happens. Every diabetic should stay as far from this fast food as humanly possible. So, remember me the next time you are shoving a Big Mac down your throat because I will be the one standing over your grave laughing at your ass.
Oh, y’all are wondering what happened today to set me off? I was coming home from taking my wife her glasses she forget this morning and was held up for a while due to an accident. Accident? Seems that all the dumbasses trying to cram into the McDonald’s parking lot conflicted with other dumbasses trying to leave. Meanwhile, this has left 7 vehicles with different severities of damage blocking the road and the entrance/exit. You want funny? The poor bastard directing traffic only had one hand to hold and eat his fries because the other hand was busy waiving everyone through. That’s one diehard motherfucker right there. Nothing gets in the way if his fries being shoved into his face. Humanity is fucking doomed I swear.
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