Subject: Software Upgrade

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Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3Football 5.0Hunting and Fishing 7.5 and NASCAR Racing 3.6.

I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall feature doesn’t seem to work on Wife 1.0. Please help!!

Thanks,
A Troubled User

Tech Support Answer:

Dear troubled user:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings: Alimony & Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background operation “Yes Dear 1.2” to alleviate software argumentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\ APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0Cook It 5.0, and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will only cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

So before upgrading from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 please read first all the documentations especially the terms and conditions, this won’t clear up all the confusion but will help you adapt to the new upgrades which are hidden and bundled to Wife 1.0 such as Hergirlfriends 11.9 and it’s upgraded version from old GirlFriend 5.0 plugins such as Gossip 8.7.4 and Activitymonitoring 3.5  a hidden network sniffer, listener and tracker.

Best of luck,
Tech support

I Got Excellent Customer Service

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It’s not often that I get to tell of an experience with a company’s customer service that has a happy ending or even a happy middle. However, yesterday the rules changed and when I hung up the phone I was very satisfied with the phone call eventhough my problem was nowhere near resolved. Are y’all wondering how that can even be so? Let me explain. Back in June of this year y’all might recall that we bought my wife a 2014 Ford Mustang which has performed beautifully since the day we bought it. But, a few days ago my wife, who drives the car daily, informed me that the car stereo was not notifying when a text message comes in on her phone. Something she has become very accustomed to, probably to the point of being spoiled, she has really gotten used to the hands free voice activated controls. Needless to say, her world seemed to crash a bit when it stopped functioning. Boo hoo right?

Being the good husband I am, I took a look at it since I was the one who figured it out in the first place. Having zero success I resorted to doing some research on the internet, tried some different things, but was still very unsuccessful in my efforts. After two evenings of playing with it I finally broke down and called Sync customer service. I was preparing for the worst since calling customer service for anything usually results in me trying to reach through the phone so I can choke a motherfucker. With this phone call, in this instance of contacting customer service, I stand corrected. He was polite, courteous, apologetic, and sounded genuinely concerned about the issue. As much as I would like to tell y’all that the problem was resolved I can’t, because as hard as he tried, it’s still not working.

However, he did teach this old dog many new tricks concerning the stereo and other electronic components in the car. I knew it had features but shit not all the things he went through. A car stereo isn’t just a car stereo any longer boys and girls. Little did I know, the last new car I bought was in 2005 and I was impressed with the single disc CD player. Anyway, seems we were only using about 3% of the features to our advantage, but now that has changed. Yes, I mentioned he could not resolve our particular dilemma over the phone but he located our area Ford dealership, verified the services they provide, and set us up with an appointment this Saturday morning. He reminded us that everything is under warranty and after they perform a system update that our problems should become a memory. In the event it is a hardware issue and not a software issue, the Ford dealership will replace the stereo. I will let y’all know how it works out Saturday.

I would first like to thank Scott for providing us with top notch customer service support. I appreciate being treated like a human being instead of a customer with a problem. His attitude made a huge impact on my attitude and I actually enjoyed our entire conversation from start to finish. Whatever they are doing really works and it shows people like myself who have been tainted over the years that calling customer service doesn’t have to be a labored and fucked up experience. So, my hat is off to Scott, thanks for not making me feel I needed to choke the fucking life out of you. But seriously, thanks Scott, you couldn’t fix it but you tried and you took steps to get it fixed, which will make my wife happy, which in turn will increase my happiness.

80% Of All Android Phones Are At Risk

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Recently a well-known and recommended security research organization found a vulnerability in the legitimate certificate validation of the Android system. Hackers can create malicious apps to imitate trusted Android system apps such as Adobe Flash Plug-in, 3LM, etc. Malicious applications will then operate stealthily in user’s mobile devices, secretly stealing account numbers, passwords and other private information, making it a huge threat to all users.

How hackers forge trusted apps

Every Android application has its own certificate which serves as a unique identifier in the Android system, like an ID card. The Android system verifies the authenticity of an app only by referring to this ID. Once the ID is trusted, the app can carry out its operations as requested by users. Apps continue to be authenticated as long as they keep the same ID. In the real world, if one person holds the ID card of another, they can spoof that person’s identity and carry out certain transactions.

Impact of the Fake ID vulnerability

Currently the vulnerability affects devices running Android system versions from 2.1 to 4.3, which encompasses over 80% of Android users, or 100 million people worldwide.

As the Android system reports the malware as having a trusted ID, it’s difficult for the user to detect. For example, once a fake Adobe Flash ID malicious application has been verified by the system and installed on a device, it will be automatically loaded along with a browser and can then steal account credentials for online banking or social networking sites. Android will not know anything is wrong, as it thinks a trusted app is running.

Google and security vendors actively responded to Fake ID

Google published patch as soon as they discovered the vulnerability, and communicated to Samsung, HTC and other partners. At the same time they updated the Google Play app store to prevent applications that exploit the vulnerability from being added.

Users who can not update the system or install the Google Play Store are still at risk. For users who are part of this category, the CM Security Research Lab has developed a warning module and integrated it into CM Browser, Clean Master and CM Security, to provide instant protection and defense against this issue. Install Clean Master or CM Security immediately to ensure your device’s safety in real-time. As the same time surfing the web with CM Browser to prevent malicious plugins.

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CM Security Researcher Lab tips:

1. Update your mobile versions to Android 4.4 and above as soon as possible.
2. Download apps from the official Google Play Store to prevent malware infection.
3. Install a reliable antivirus and keep it updated. We recommend using apps Clean Master and CM Security, which were recently awarded title of No.1 antivirus by AV-TEST for the sixth consecutive time.
4. Surfing with a secure browser .

References:

[1] http://bluebox.com/blog/technical/android-fake-id-vulnerability/
[2] https://android.googlesource.com/platform/libcore/+/android-cts-4.1_r4%5E%21/

Posted From Scorpion Sting’s Motorola Droid Maxx!