Try Not Fucking All Of This Shit Up

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I keep seeing all these fucking cooking posts where people try too fucking hard to pan sear fucking steaks but fuck it all up, it’s fucking simple, so fucking pay close attention. Go to the fucking grocery store and buy fucking steak. Yes, the fucking grocery store, a little ammonia isn’t going to kill you, don’t be a pussy. You want to be all fucking fancy, fucking grass fed, and environmentally conscious, go the fuck ahead. I really don’t give two shits about it. Just be sure to get fucking ribeye steak, it fucking turns out the best. Be sure and buy it with the fucking bone in, don’t be a dumbfuck. Now, take the fucking steak home. Get a bigass fucking frying pan out and put that shit on the stovetop, crank up the fucking heat as high as that motherfucker will go. Take a shit-ton of rocksalt, yes rocksalt you dumbfuck, none of that fine ground table bullshit salt, and toss that shit all over the bottom of the fucking frying pan. When the frying pan is hot as all fuck, it should scortch the the shit out of your fucking finger if you were stupid enough to touch it, put the fucking steak in the fucking pan right now. You can crack some fucking pepper on top of the steak as you hear the sizzle of the fucking bottom of the steak searing. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT even attempt to sprinkle onion powder or garlic powder or immafuckingtation butter flavoring on this fucking steak assholes, just keep it the fuck away, trust me. This is a fucking steak assholes, all you fucking need is salt and pepper. After a short bit, 2 1/2 minutes for good and pink or 5 minutes for cooked the fuck through, flip that shit over and do the exact fucking thing you just did to the other fucking side. I.e. just sit on your fucking ass and wait for your motherfucking steak to be ready, try not to be a useless assbag and fuck this up. When you’re fucking done just slap that shit on a plate. And, hopefully you weren’t so stupid you didn’t make some kind of potatoes, any kind of fucking potatoes, because fucking steak gets eaten with fucking potatoes. If you want to be frisky, pour yourself a Jack straight the fuck up, nice and fucking neat. Now eat your perfectly seared fucking steak while it’s still hot. Don’t piss me off again and make me come and smack the fucking shit out of you! Hopefully you learned how NOT to ever fuck up steak ever again. Remember this fucking way and you’ll never be disappointed ever again.

On This Day In 1968……….

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…………… there was a baby boy born to a mother who would never see him, never hold him, and never be a part of his life. It was on this day that this baby boy was giving the chance to live a life. It was on this day that a boy took in his first breath and was given the beginning of the rest of his life. I am thankful everyday for that first breath I was granted the opportunity to take. Look at it like this, she could have swallowed, he could have pulled out, or she could have aborted her pregnancy at any time. Luckily, she chose the adoption option and soon after the world was granted the opportunity to witness my presence. You see, we are all equally lucky. So, enough of the heavy shit everyone has heard before. I am here because she made the right choice back in 1968.

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I will be the first person to admit that I’m the person y’all hear about that is so hard to buy birthday presents for. Why? Simply because I don’t ask for anything, ever. Why? Because if I want something I save up for it and go buy it. Generally it isn’t for my self tho, it’s usually for other people. I don’t buy my self much. When I ask for something it is utilitarian, like underwear, socks, and stuff like that. After having the same cell phone for 4 years I finally upgraded and replaced it will a fancy new one. I did this a week or so ago, my own birthday present to myself and I said it just like that. I told my wife and kids that I would buy my own present this year so don’t bother. You know women tho, they rarely listen when the man is talking….. lol.

Somewhere during the course of the last year I mentioned two things “in passing”, meaning it was random and out of the blue, which were that I wanted to pick up the new KISS Monster cd, yes I wrote cd, I like cds. The other thing was a tablet because my laptop crapped out and I don’t want to spend the money to get another one, so a tablet seemed reasonable. But, like life itself, other expenses always come first because the cost of “living” is sometimes more than I bring home. So, as mentioned, they were fleeting comments not really meant to be taken as a hint or anything. But, my wife and kids took note, because like I said, I don’t generally ask for stuff, I just get it when I want it. In the end I was happily surprised and really glad they were paying attention because I had completely forgot about both of them.

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Unfortunately I’m working today (right now to be exact) but I will be heading home later tonight and that will be perfect. I will be cooking my own dinner, grilling actually, since when asked what I wanted I wanted steaks. So, my mother-out-law provided me with steaks, potatoes, and some tequila for me to use tonight. The tequila will be for margaritas by the way. After we eat I plan on soaking my bones in the hot tub, rain or no rain, matters not to me, I like to relax and soak my bones. Today I work (or do this) and when I get off the party will just get kicked off. Hell, what am I saying, I live like it’s my birthday everyday. My kids tell me it is a special day to celebrate. I always reply that I celebrate the start of every day with that first recognizable breath, it’s a beautiful day each time I wake up. I won’t deny I’m lucky to be here, but aren’t we all.

00 Fuck Calm

You People Need To Lighten Up

Originally Published To: Hate Mail on 10 April 2013

Here we are once again. I have been neglecting my duties by not sharing more often. But, I won’t promise anything, but I will try to keep up and post as I get 2 or 3. Today I am going to do a combination post from messages, e-mails, and comments I have received in reference to three specific posts, Is Being An Alcoholic A Disability, Bigfoot, God, And Ghosts, and What Has The World Come To. I can’t even begin to tell y’all how surprised I have been that so many have become so bent out of shape. Makes me think that is why I write. Perhaps I need to add that to my mission statement. I have always stated that I am here to lay out my opinions on many things. I choose not to try to cater to one group or another. Love me, hate, it doesn’t matter because blogging isn’t paying my bills so I don’t believe that I need to kiss any ass of suck up to anyone in particular. As I mentioned, this is going to be a collective of messages, comments, and e-mails received on these two posts. I will quote some things, but if you have been paying attention I usually remove all the comments that refer to me as a “pagan devil worshipper” since it really doesn’t add anything that other people want to read. So, I do my job as babysitter to other people’s children and make the appropriate edits. But wait, they don’t actually ever disappear, I collect them and add them to, what I consider, to the greatest collection of crap known to mankind.

Shortly after my posting about Bigfoot the stupid shit really started pouring in. I was told that Bigfoot was an urban legend, ghosts were myths, and God is very real. I was bombarded with so much biblical mumbo jumbo that it almost made my head explode. Well, even after the sermons, I still don’t see any proof that God exists, therefore, in my opinion, God ranks right up there with everything else that cannot have it’s existence proven to mankind. Next thing I got was questions asking me why I left out everything about Aliens since they rank pretty high on the myth and legend scale. I took a fair amount of heat from a fair amount of people about leaving them out. Well, ok, I did leave them out, and it was on purpose, because if I would have added commentary about Aliens then the post would have become grossly boring and long winded. Plus, it wasn’t even what I was thinking about, it never entered my mind until I was almost done writing the post. I did give it thought at that time because it too is one of those great unsolved mysteries. Hell, why not add in the Bermuda Triangle while I am at it. My point is simple, people believe in many things, I am not here to say a person’s opinion is inaccurate, I just ask that if you wish for my support just give me something to actually support. True, I do ask allot of questions about God’s existence and the purpose of believing in something nobody has ever seen. I will continue to do so until God is knocking at my door waiting to be invited to eat some of my Diablo Scorpion Chili. Until then, everything about God is just another fairytale. By the way, if it actually matters, I am not a devil worshipper. People take their religion way to serious, it almost seems they don’t leave time to actually live their life, and that is very, very sad. I don’t hate Christians and God, I just think the entire idea is a bit silly. Who would have ever thought idol worship was still alive and strong. There is no reason to be wound so tight. But hey, I think I will always get flack for not believing in God, and I am ok with that since I made my choice while standing by my choice. You God fearing people really have a mean streak.

 

The second part of this post will be about how people want to split hairs with me about someone being an alcoholic and in their opinion it is a disability. Perhaps we just look at what a disability actually means in different light. I am a firm believer that being an alcoholic was a choice that person made. The alcoholic isn’t disabled, the alcoholic is addicted. In my post I explained my own struggles, those were dismissed because people wanted to disagree with me. It would appear that those same people didn’t want to look up the words so they would know the definitions and they wanted to feed me the same old garbage about it being a disease. I will give them one simple thing, drinking indeed causes medical problems and even some diseases, but being an alcoholic is not the disease, just a contributer.I find it amazing how childish people act when there is a differing opinion than what they see in mainstream media. I am not here to enable any jackass that thinks making poor choices in life mysteriously makes him/her having a disability. Let me give you an example of disabled, it is my personal situation. I was retired from the United States Air Force as a 100% disabled vet. Want to know what that means, look it up. In fact, I know some of y’all are a bit lazy, so I will provide the following link for the VA and you can look it up. Also, you can look at the 2013 Veterans Compensation Benefits Rates Table for more info. Make sure you look at the very bottom of the table at the last entry and remember I am a veteran with a spouse, two children at home, and one in college. So, do you think I need to work to fill my financial needs? (see snippet below)  Now, legally, as per my DD214, I am not eligible for employment in the United States. However, I was provided with a waiver because I didn’t want to sit at home on my ass living off the gov’t cheese for the rest of my life. Add to that knee replacement a few years ago, yet I still get my ass up every day and go to work. Why? Because I made the choice not to use it as an excuse. Which is what we do in life, we make choices, good and bad. I don’t look for pity and I don’t expect shit to be handled to me either. I do, however, wish that people would own up to their choices so there doesn’t have to be laws protecting them for making poor choices. Do I take this a little personal? Yes, because I know the difference between being truly disabled and and being an alcoholic with an addiction.

The third part of this post will be about how offended the non-meat-eaters became with me because of my opinions and how I painted being a non-meat eater in my post. Let me just throw this down for all of you, I eat meat, I enjoy eating meat, I enjoy cooking meat, and meat makes me very happy. If that offends any of you then you really need to get over yourself. A non-meat eater’s way of life isn’t wrong for that person, its just wrong for me. One of the fabulous messages had stated that she can’t wait for karma to catch up with me and won’t it be a bitch if one day I am forced to eat in the vegan lifestyle. I gave this some thought, and yes, it would be a bitch because I am not sure I could do it. I cannot predict the future, but from what I can see in my crystal ball I don’t see meat not being in my life any time soon. I mentioned I am not knocking the vegan lifestyle, that, however, does not mean I can not talk about what I don’t personally like about vegan foods. Personally I wish all the vegans and non-meat eaters all the best in life, I mean that.

Finally, always try to keep in mind that sightings of Bigfoot can be faked, sightings of Ghosts can be faked, believing in God, Unicorns, and Aliens can also be faked, but you can never fake the almighty and grand steak.