Now I’m Just A Little Fucking Pissed

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I hope the right motherfuckers are going to be reading this post because I have a message for you that you motherfuckers need to listen to and understand. I reference three physical letters of response I received yesterday after I spent hours, many of them months ago, filling out forms, questionnaire, social surveys, household income surveys, military background questionnaires, background checks, applications, and residency verification. Thanks for allowing me to waste my fucking time and your time. I look back now at the time it took y’all to process everything and see why people are frustrated with the fucking wait. Y’all fuckers want to know what is super fucked up? I qualified for the three services I applied for based on my income, employment status, and residency according to all three of the assistance organizations legal standards. I think I get the picture tho, because I really find it to be racial, because NO other reasons were given, unless “we’re sorry you were not qualified for assistance” is a reason. Is it because I’m white that assistance isn’t available? Since I’m white I shouldn’t be unemployed? Is that why we need me to list my race? Is that the first page y’all fucks look at?

Personally, now that a clear stance has been made, I’m beginning to understand what many people say these days, and that is that you need me to have a job because so many depend on my paycheck. I’ve been busting my ass working since I was 14, to include my time in the Air Force and the last fifteen years since I got out of the military. For what exactly? To be told by people who hide behind a form letter that because I’m white I don’t qualify for financial aid or any kind of anything, not even food stamps, nothing. That’s fucking great, I understand now that I am not allowed into the elite group because I’m not an alcoholic, drug dependant, I don’t have excess children with different last names, I’m legal to be in the United States, I’m white, I’m not a felon, I own my guns legally, I am a disabled veteran, and I’ve never received anything in any form of prior assistance. What exactly does it take for help for a white man when I’m in need? I could really do with less go fuck yourself letters!

But why should you give a flying fuck about me? Did I not donate to your political party? Do I not support the government your way? Is it because I speak English and don’t believe I need to push “1” for English? Why? Being white and speaking English seems to be holding me back. Oh, yea, btw, I appreciate all of my original paperwork y’all sent me to fill out being in Spanish, it was a real pleasure contacting your offices to have forms sent to me in English. I’m bet my German last name really fucking confused you fucktards. Or is it just the government standard to shotgun blast out Spanish forms in hopes of identifying potential illegal voters? Don’t worry, I’m not the only one that knows that even dead or fictional characters get to vote, receive government assistance, and are signed up for obamacare. But as long as there are politicians and government offices it is only going to get worse. But fuck, why do you care, you got a job, a paycheck, and get to fuck with people’s lives for entertainment. Yay you!

Sadly, like the voices of many legal American citizens, my voice remains muted. I’m the wrong color living in the wrong state to to quality for anything more than being on a mailing list. Let’s not forget, you overly arrogant motherfuckers, that y’all sent me the initial bullshit in the mail offering the assistance, I did not seek you out. Who would of thought sending shit to a person with a German last name would have result in that person being white? Do I think our system is fucking broke? Yes. Do I think this system is racist? Yes. Do I personally think it will ever change? Not in my fucking lifetime it won’t. So fuck you, that’s why, I will figure something out.

Why Is Plague So Addictive?

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I blame my children for showing me this game for the very first time. I blame my children who made killing off all mankind in a game of diseases interesting to me. I blame my children for getting me addicted to this game. I blame my children that this game consumes a more than a few hours of my day and I have a hard time putting it down. I cannot blame them for me liking the game so much. The question I have for myself is why. Why do I like this game so much? Why have I let this game take over ALL the game playing I would normally do on my smart phone or tablet? Why, dammit, why? Does anyone else in the world play this game? Are you any good at it? Did you have to cheat? I have gotten to the point, in the last few weeks of playing, where my kids use “cheats’ to try to beat my score, I do it the old fashioned way and stomp the snot out them anyways. Is it wrong I like winning this game without cheating? Is it wrong that I feel a certain amount of satisfaction winning against my children when they use cheats and I do not? Does this make me a bad father because I don’t let my children win? I would have never guessed I would be playing this game. I would have never guessed this game to be so addictive. I think I need help. I can’t bring myself to uninstall it, I am so weak. Fuck all that, I love this game! I may never stop playing it, ever. I like being the person who creates and evolves a pathogen in an effort to destroy the world with a deadly plague.  To me, this game has a complex and realistic set of variables to simulate the spread and severity of the plague worldwide. What could be a better game to waste my time playing.

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