Resume Fodder & Resume Reality

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It has been my experience over the years that one’s resume is often no more than a list of jobs that one has endured year to date, mine included. Resumes do a decent job of painting a picture without any real details. The proof is in the pudding, it rears it’s ugly head when a person is put to task, when one is asked to prove their knowledge of the process, and to be able to work alone, unattended by a trainer or supervisor. We all know that after all the streamlined bullet points that most of our resume is just sugar coated bullshit. I said most people. Now you’re asking, but where are you going with all of this? Fair enough of a question, I actually have someplace I’m taking y’all. I’m taking y’all to work, my work specifically, where one of my tasks is to train new employees in our department how we do things, our culture, and how to do everything we do in the safest manner possible.

This act of training is very natural for me, it has always been easy for me to teach, from people who don’t have a clue to those who come with a little or allot of experience. So, I have worked at the same place now for almost exactly two years, I have been sent to schools as well as trained by other mechanics. As a mechanic we have a daunting task, we are responsible for the maintenance and repairs on a very broad spectrum, from building (facilities) maintenance to equipment maintenance, and everything little thing in between. I’m forbidden from mentioning the company I work for, but to give your imagination a run for its money, here are a few facts.

It all started in 1962 as a small grocery store in small town by a man with an unfilled vision, and is today the biggest retail chain in the world. From hitting the $1 billion mark for the first time in 1979, it generated more than 482 billion dollars in revenue in 2016. This is more than the total revenue of Apple, Google, Microsoft, Coca-Cola, and Facebook combined! Just so you know, these are the top five most valuable brands in the world. Quite remarkable! In fact, this store brand has more revenue than the total GDP of countries like Poland, Belgium, Thailand, UAE, South Africa, Singapore, Portugal, Qatar, New Zealand, Croatia, Iceland, and Mauritius. Speaking of countries, if this store was a country, it would be the 25th largest economy in the world. A country with only the stores employees alone would also be more populated than 88 countries in the world. Want more?

Wait, did someone mention employees? Well, this store has many, many of them. With more employees than McDonald’s (1.9 million), it is the biggest private employer in the world. In fact, only two organizations have more employees than this store, the US Army and the Chinese Army. You know you are big when you are competing neck and neck with the biggest armies in the world. Which is why it should be no surprise to see that it employs more people than HP, Coca-Cola, PepsiCo, General Motors, Starbucks, Ford, Walt Disney, Amazon, Costco, Microsoft, Apple, Google, Facebook AND American Airlines COMBINED. Phew! All of these companies: ~2,199,000 employees. This store: ~2,300,000 employees.

You might be wondering how is all of this even possible. Well, the answer lies in the fact that Americans spend more than 36 million dollars every single hour at this store. That’s 864 million dollars in just one day. Additionally, more than 200 million customers shop every single week in its various stores. In other words, more people shop at this store every week than the entire population of Germany, United Kingdom, and France combined. Of course, this means that it makes some serious profits. How much, you might ask? No less than $21,000 every single minute. This store can literally buy 30 iPhone 6S every minute, burn them and still be in profit. Most of y’all have probably figured it out by now who I work for, but I’m still not saying. However, I don’t actually work in a store, I work in the logistics part, not the retail part. I work in one of thousands of the distribution warehouses that receive and distribute groceries to only a handful, 70 or so stores, in the logistical web of stores seen world wide. Many of the details I listed above were in our latest issue of our monthly magazine. I can’t actually give them full on credit without giving away the name of the company.

Ok, now back to my role. Fortunately for me, I learned my department and it’s role very fast. Fortunately for me, I came into this mechanic’s position bringing years of mechanical experience and knowledge, the results of not having a resume full of fluff, fodder, or bullshit. And if the truth must be told, being a jack of most trades has served me well here because there are many days I have to dip into my resources of experiences to solve problems. But wait, there’s more. It was all a trap, almost like being given a lengthy rope to see if I could hang myself. Actually, becoming the trainer did come with extra money hourly and a little prestige since I’m not just another drone mechanic, I actually have a purpose and people depend on me to do my job to a higher standard. Plus, I really do like and appreciate all the daily challenges. Plus, training keeps my own skills sharp and many times I learn a little more. I never know who I will train or what their personal skillset actually contains. I’m not part of the interview process, but my words speak loudly when I have to do the person’s training review close to the end of a person’s initial 90 day period. Fortunately for me, my words, in a company this size, have merit and do determine if a person will continue in the new career he or she has chosen. A fortunate aspect of who I am and how my personality works is that I can spot bullshit a mile away and read a person in a way that interpretation is not necessarily needed. Luckily for me, the human brain has done most of the work for me because one is either mechanically inclined or one is not mechanically inclined. There is no in between and there is no fudging any of that. Remember, I NEVER see the resume that was used nor was I part of the interview process which got a person hired, I get the person cold. I suppose one could say it’s like a blind date, if it goes well for him or her, we get to move forward.

I will discuss, briefly, the latest candidate, and then let y’all get back to your lives. Sam is 32, the mother of 3 girls, recently divorced, muscle car enthusiast, and out in the workforce for the very first time ever in her life. She came in the shop this past weekend looking like an 80’s Guess Jeans poster girl and my first impression was that I’m screwed, not getting screwed by her, but the girly girly smells real nice types don’t usually like to get grease under their nails. My initial impressions were squashed real fast and I must admit I was more than a little shocked. Task one with Sam was to identify why a fully automatic shrink wrap machine was inoperable. I noticed when we arrived at the machine that it had stopped abruptly in a strange position, generally meaning something broke or seized. By the time I mentioned we need to get out the 16 foot ladder (weighing in at 135 lbs, in my opinion weighing more than her by 15 to 20 lbs) she already had it set up and was climbing to the top. She proceeded to request I hand her a flashlight, a 9/16″ open end wrench, and the 6″ crescent wrench. I’m, okay Sam. After a few minutes of silence except for a little grunting, she explained she had identified the problem, the shaft from the main drive motor which drives the rotation gearbox has either has broken into three pieces. I was also informed that we need to go back to the shop for additional tools and the parts to complete the repair. Due diligence states I have to do my own assessment and inspection, which by the look on her face, was insulting. Not my intention, just protocol.

Needless to say, I merely had to show her access procedures, where to find stuff, how to use our hand held computer, and that it was time for break. By the end of our three day weekend (42 hours) I found myself to not only be amazed but also very respectful to the fact that no matter how the package is wrapped that there is always a surprise inside. We did have time to talk, she explained she’s from a family with 8 boys and she was the baby. She had gotten pregnant in high school and married shortly after graduation to the father. She ended her dream of going to college to become a better mechanic because she liked being a wife and mother. Her ex and her were into restoring and building hot rods, an expensive hobby which is one reason they divorced, the other reason was in an argument about money (which she was not earning) that resulted in him punching her in the mouth in front of their 3 children. In her eyes they were now done.

Anyway, after getting to know Sam I realized she was going to make our team better, and even though there is 11 more weeks of training, I don’t see any problems. Wait, unless of course she doesn’t like the cold, because then she’s screwed because we spend allot of time in the -30 degree freezers. But we will find out that next weekend.

Why So Fucking Serious?

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If you ever want trouble, come between an addict and her coffee. If you ever want to witness a coffee meltdown, fuck up my wife’s order at the local coffee chain outlet near our home. Oh yes, it happened, and I write today to maybe help myself understand why coffee zombies, my wife included,  go from zero to ballistic in .000001 seconds when their overpriced coffee crack is not prepared in a manner of perfection fitting for their standards. But, before I tell you a little story, let me just re-address the fact that there are a handful of places I absolutely refuse to go because I can’t fucking stand the mere thought of going inside. I don’t go with my wife or for my wife, hell no, fuck that shit, the people that work in these places are fucking rude, anal, and have lost their damn minds. I tend not to promote things or places I detest, so we not say the names of a national chain of make-up stores, the mall, or the national chain of coffee stores be written about today. Y’all are smart, figure it out. Let’s just say I have almost been divorced twice for my refusal to enter particular places of business.

Anyway, my wife has a ritual, on paydays each month, she pays the coffee monsters big bucks so her cravings can be satisfied. This means she gets high dollar coffee crack four times a month and on other special occasions. The rest of the month she fakes it with the little brew cups and different flavoured creamers. So, I get looking forward to something. We all have things we like and look forward to having, but coffee drinkers are fucking different, very different. I know the week is drawing to a close because her claws and fangs become more pronounced. So, let me explain what almost sparked the spring skirmish of 2017.

Yesterday my wife is on her way to work, making the ritual pitstop to get her blah blah blah mocha fucked up size name coffee. After waiting behind 12 or so cars she tells the speaker box the kind of coffee she wants. She says it in a fashion to which one would believe he is witnessing a line from a foreign film being spoken. It’s almost erotic in a way, especially coming from a person who lives in southeast Texas and can neither speak or understood one word in Spanish. Needless to say, after money has exchanged hands and she goes to take her first sip, it the wrong coffee. These fools have given her a cup of coffee with another person’s name written on the side. Bastards! How dare they do this inconsiderate and uncaring thing to her. Instantaneously​ mad now, she wants the blood, the balls, and this motherfucker’s first born for this fuck up. The nerve!

Of course this has to be resolved in a lady like, very polite manner, and she is in such a big hurry that she returns to the line of cars which is twice as long now. It’s the principal I’m told, she should not have to go inside to unfuck their overpriced coffee mistake. I’m, okay then. Here’s the kicker, when she finally arrived at the window, the spoiled little cunt sees the cup with my wife’s name on it sitting there all lonely and actually tried to hand it to her. How dare this bitch try to give her a coffee that was carefully crafted a mere 23 minutes ago, I mean, really bitch? All sarcasm aside, that girl is lucky their hands never touched because my wife would have dragged her out of the little window and gave her a stern talking to. Now a manager has arrived on scene to diffuse the “altercation”. She solves this entire thing buy re-making her coffee, up-sizing it for her, even adding sprinkles and whipped cream, and the refunding her $6 plus dollars. To top it off, since she knows my wife is a long time loyal patron, she gives he a gift card in equivalence to 30 days of free coffee made in the manner she prefers. That’s the equivalent to just shy of a $200 value for those of y’all counting at home.

So, it’s all been taken care of, right? Wrong! Why? Because I get to hear about the whole fucking thing for a second time once she got home. Also, had to listen to her talk and angry text on her phone the rest of the night. Now, I know it seems as though I am petty and don’t care about her problems, but it’s just fucking coffee. Don’t ever try to tell a coffee person it’s just “coffee” and expect to survive. Now I get to fight with my wife because I failed to take all of this bullshit serious one little bit. Oh, trust me when I tell y’all that it has escalated beyond an “I’m sorry” at this point, there may be big trouble brewing now. I know I’m a bastard for not taking this seriously, but how can I?

The image above was borrowed from the internet, a Google search more specifically, and do not have permission to use it today, tomorrow, or any other day. Oddly enough, I Googled “coffee zombie” and it was one of the results. I liked the look and decided to use it. If it belongs to you and you can prove it in writing I will gladly give you credit or remove it upon your request.

 

This Isn’t Really A Goodbye

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Or is it? Do we ever really know? Do we ever really want to be the first one to say it? After some deep soul searching I have decided to give this whole blogging & social media thing a well deserved rest. It’s nobody’s fault, there isn’t a hidden agenda, or even a reason I won’t explain, since that is what I’m doing now. At first I was just thinking piss on it all and burn it to the ground. Who am I kidding, I know I’m just 1 blog of billions, and my lack of presence is just that, a lack of my presence.

Over the last 7 weeks I have come to the conclusion that I’m bored blogging, reading blogs, fooling with social media, and in a nut shell, the internet itself. This has actually been evolving over the last several months but I kept in the game, I kept swinging, and I keep getting the same result. Allot of it is that I’m lazy because it is a chore (for me personally) to write posts on my phone. Then I factor in time, a luxury for me as I don’t have much free time anymore, and when I do I discovered naps, which is good for me since I work 2am til 3pm 4 days a week, it has worn me out. Then, try to squeeze in having a family, a life, and so forth. Some of y’all get it I’m sure.

I would like to, however, give thanks to two people I consider my friends who I would have probably never met if it weren’t for this blog. We don’t talk much anymore but I just wanted to let Kris and Rex know that I really do appreciate them and what they have done individually to impact my personal life. My hat is off to you two wonderful women and I’m forever in debt to y’all. Both of y’all have my deepest gratitude, each for your own individual reasons. Don’t get me wrong, I have “met” some fantastic people over the years, even a few of y’all lucky fuckers in person. Every one of y’all need to crack the top off your favorite beverage and know I salute all of you.

My blogs will remain up and functional. I will still be looking at emails and so forth. Y’all probably won’t see me active on Google+, Twitter, or even Facebook much. I don’t know what else to say or even why I felt compelled to explain any of this. I guess it was to say I’m alive and well. Don’t worry, blogging is my damn dirty little bad habit, I’m sure I’ll be back one day.

Steven (aka Scorpion Sting)

Compulsive Behavior Side Effects?

More often than not we hear or read about me discussing taking personal responsibility and being personally held accountable for our words and actions. This post won’t be any different. I found it humorous that I was sent the link to the below information and shortly after reading it I heard a damn commercial for the same thing. Odd what we hear on the radio @ 02:30 am while driving my happy ass to work. Anyone, I would assume, who watches television or listens to the radio has seen or heard at least one Ambilify commercial. True or not? Having a son who suffers from mild bipolar disorder we have been bombarded with samples and prescription answers which will somehow magically transform behavior. I tell you from my personal experience, we don’t use my son for a testing ground so big pharmaceuticals can make their billions at the cost of my son’s mental well-being. So, when I saw this bullshit about the lawsuit towards the makers of Ambilify I merely smiled to myself because we all know there is not one single perfect medication with no side effects. While my son has never taken Ambilify, we did research it extensively, just as we have done with many others.

But why are we here right now? But why did I choose to write about it right now? It’s simple, this is another example of people who cannot be responsible for their own actions. It’s about people who blame someone else for their own behavior because they acted without self control. It’s because people want the quick fix. It’s about people who choose to not read the small print or they choose to ignore the small print. Yes, I find this lawsuit as being fucking stupid because people made bad choices but don’t want to take responsibility for their own decisions. But then we know in our society nobody is forced to be held accountable, it’s always somebody else at fault. Bullshit! If we fuck up we just sue someone because we can profit from our lack of responsibility. Or have we forgot that coffee from a fast food joint is extremely hot and will burn the fuck out out your crotch if you spill it? People are dumbasses. Let this be yet just one more example.

The following information was originally found here and provided by a leading contributor to The Scorpion Army. I don’t have any express or otherwise permissions to copy this story from the above linked website or to use it on my blog as part of a post which includes my personal opinion. Hopefully they understand I do not support the lawsuit efforts but do not hold the above website responsible for posting this story. In the end, if they wish that I remove it in part or completely it will happen swiftly and immediately. The two pictures were borrowed from the internet using Google. Remember, I neither gain or loose anything by sharing the following information, it’s just being shared because I found it truly interesting.

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Abilify has been linked to compulsive behavior side effects, such as pathological gambling, binge eating and hypersexuality. These behaviors are thought to be triggered by the neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin.

One of the most popular treatments for a variety of mental disorders like depression, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder,  makes billions for Bristol-Myers Squibb and the Otsuka Pharmaceutical Company. It was the top-selling drug in the U.S. in 2013 with sales of over $6.4 billion. The drug works by either increasing or decreasing dopamine or serotonin in the brain when there is an imbalance, and this makes it useful for a variety of approved and unapproved uses.

However, the drug is also linked to disturbing compulsive behavior side effects that can wreak havoc on the lives of patients and their families.

Among these side effects, compulsive or pathological gambling can be financially crippling, and it can destroy lives. People in the grip of compulsive behaviors will do anything they can to continue the chosen activity, even if it means ignoring the rest of their lives and withdrawing from friends and family.

This side effect in particular may lead to lawsuits against Bristol-Myers and Otsuka America, claiming the companies did not properly warn patients and doctors of this serious side effect.

In addition, reports of other side effects include compulsive eating, shopping and even sex addiction.

How Abilify Causes Compulsive Behavior

While doctors aren’t exactly sure how Abilify (aripiprazole) works, they believe it acts on receptors in the brain for chemicals that regulate mood and behavior. These chemicals are neurotransmitters called dopamine and serotonin.

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When the dopamine system is stimulated in response to a particular activity, people will feel a high from it or a feeling of pleasure. This reward system normally ensures that we continue to eat and do other things we need to do to survive. In people with mental disorders, these systems are stimulated excessively, or not enough.

Researchers think Abilify may over-stimulate dopamine reward receptors in the brain – called dopamine 3 (D3) receptors – and trigger compulsive behavior.

Compulsive Gambling

Several case studies focused on a connection between aripiprazole and compulsive behavior, also called pathological behavior, especially in the case of gambling. One French study published in 2013 by Gaboriau, et al., examined several people who checked into a clinic because of their compulsive gambling behaviors. Study authors looked at eight individuals who took Abilify as part of ongoing medical treatment. Researchers found the drug caused seven of the eight patients to lose control of their gambling habits.

After discontinuing the drug or greatly reducing the dose, patients regained control of their compulsive behaviors, researchers wrote.

Another 2011 case study by Cohen, et al. found similar results in patients treated for schizophrenia. No patients in this study had a history of pathological gambling. Soon after taking the drug, they began gambling uncontrollably.

Similarly, a 2011 British study conducted by the National Problem Gambling Clinic found a relationship between Abilify and the drive to gamble in some patients. Doctors described one case in which a patient took the antipsychotic and “was preoccupied with thoughts of gambling and his gambling activity became both impulsive and involved extensive planning in obtaining funds to gamble, including the use of crime.”

Another patient said gambling became “a reason to live” after he took the drug.

In all cases, gambling problems resolved after discontinuing Abilify and switching to another drug.

Sometimes The Gift Bites Back

My recently married daughter and her husband have a habit of just picking up trinkets and t-shirts from gift shops when they are out tooling around in different places. Last night being no different, after a day spent in Old Town Spring, Texas going to shops and finally to dinner they returned knocking on the door to give me a surprise. Knowing I will try just about anything with some heat they believed they found the perfect gift for me.

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So now that you have looked at the picture I’m going to write out the label that can’t really be seen in it’s entirety. I warn you now that the language is quite colorful and might offend those of y’all who are sensitive to this kind of thing. But you know me, I like to share the things I find somewhat twisted and very interesting. The label reads as follows.

“We warned you. This is a seriously fuckin’ hot sauce. That’s right we said it — because we had to. There is no other way to describe just how hot this sauce is. I suppose we could have said “it’s like the fiery depths of Hell” or “that it’s ass-burning” and even “keep away from pets and small children and avoid contact with sensitive areas”, but that just seems so wordy. The sauce is hot as fuck! Succinct, to the point — no beating around the bush! Honesty is always the best policy, isn’t it? If this sauce burns intensely, don’t be afraid to let it out. Scream fuck at the top of your lungs. You’ll feel better. There is no better verbal therapy.”

Let me also include the short list of ingredients in case y’all can’t see them that great. They include habanero peppers, african oleoresin, scotch bonnet peppers, salt, onion, vegetable oil, acetic acid, garlic, and xanthan gum.

Here’s the big question y’all are begging to ask me, is it fucking hot? Not to deter from the awesome label and product description, but it was an average heat for a hot sauce. With that being said, I must admit I’m a bit jaded when it comes to heat. I grow, process, and consume a variety of insanely hot peppers down to the common pepper for flavoring bland food. What I really liked was it’s bold flavoring and the way it cinged my nose hair a bit when taking a deep sniff. However, for the rookies and amateurs it just might be a bit over the top. The average Joe might not want to toss the wings in this sauce and serve it up to family, I’m just saying.

My question to all of y’all out there would be, what do you find to be too fucking hot to consume?

As Requested By My Oldest Daughter

Before I really get into this post and the nature of my oldest daughter’s request, let me just say that this is quite possibly the strangest request I have ever been asked by anyone, ever. As many of y’all know, my oldest daughter lives in the state of South Dakota and will be getting married in the summer. Over the years we have maintained a very close relationship which allows us to talk about just about anything under the sun. Most times our conversation stays on the pretty straight and narrow, but last night I was asked to do something completely from out in left field. I don’t say that negatively, let’s just say it was a complete shock to me. It all started because we were talking about her wedding planning, more specifically what the dress code for me was going to be as the father of the bride. The reason for asking is this will be an outside wedding and the wedding party will be dressed really casual, not shorts and flip flops, but pretty casual to say the least. I was told how I dressed is up to me, now let me explain why.

The one thing that has troubled or plagued these wedding plans has been finding the “right” person to officiate the ceremony. It has been my understanding that they didn’t want a Justice of the Peace or a minister, no minister simply because they don’t exactly want it to be too religious. Now, I don’t think it will be a pagan wedding with a live sacrifice of a virgin, but something more free spirited. My daughter was born in the wrong era, being born in 1990, because she lives her life more like she was growing up in the late 60s, a modern day version of the flower child if one was to ask me. In the end, they claim no religious preference, knowing only there is a greater power out there that is bigger than all of the rest of us. Anyway, after discussing things in their own home they decided to ask me a “giant favor” and to see what my opinions were on something they believed would make their wedding very special. By now I will assume that y’all have looked at and read the picture, if not this would be a good time to do so. Once y’all do that then perhaps it will be easier to explain what was asked of me and, as of today, what I have “become”. Looking at my blogs and the way I live my life in the real world I would have never guessed that I would ever be witness to this event ever happening. I wonder if she remembers we have tickets to see Slipknot and Marilyn Manson the end of June.

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And that is that, in a matter of a few minutes I’m legal to marry couples in every state in the Union. Yes, this was the question I was asked. I was asked to be the one to preform the wedding ceremony. I know, weird, right? For right now, we are set, especially now that I made numerous phone calls this morning to find out if this is actually legal and legit. It was surprising to me to find out that my scenario is very common, especially in States recognizing same sex marriage. I did allot of digging, allot of calling, and allot of research, and I found that my signature on their license will be legal in all states and recognized in all states. Which is what my concern was, I wanted to be sure that this wasn’t wasting anyone’s time or getting anyone in legal trouble. I will post again on this topic later this summer after the wedding. I think I know what I’m wearing now, can we say tuxedo t-shirt?

Caption This Photo

We’ve seen some strange happenings in the real world and on the internet, some of which find themselves worthy of explanation. In my opinion, the picture I have provided for you today needs something said by someone. Are you the one with your thinking cap on today? Leave your caption in the comments and lets have a little fun today.

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