Best Friend Or Worst Nightmare

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I’m home alone, bored, and decided I wasn’t done talking in my last post about my wife’s big question. But wait, there’s more. Have you ever just bumbled around the house, bored, nothing really to do? I sat down this morning to write my other post, a tedious event since I do it on my phone, while I was deleting some music and downloading more, yes, I always want more music. But as I got a slab of meat ready for the smoker I wondered what I was going to be doing next. I already ran my errands and knocked that shit out. I realized while writing the last post that over the years as I’ve aged I have changed, both mentally, physically, and emotionally. Not that I miss my youth, but I do appreciate it now where I didn’t then. We all, I guess we all do, find a path in life and pretty much stick to it, mostly out of habit I think. Some call it a “routine”, I call it what it really is, and that’s a habit. Life happens, shit happens, and we roll with it or get rolled over by it.

I’m a pretty relaxed person, some say to relaxed, and I tend to roll with the punches instead of getting into the fight. I realized recently that I have become an asshole to people I don’t know and to those I wish I didn’t know. I suppose this happened over time and becomes more evident the more I get out in public. Seems like every time I open the front door I hear ” welcome to Walmart motherfucker” simply because in the course of my day I will inevitably be forced to interact with people, strangers, other people’s children, and people who definitely should not breed, ever, there dads should have had the common courtesy to just pull out. But noooooooooo, now people with common sense have to deal with your fucking problems because they never did. Anyway, this has nothing to do with the people of Walmart nor is it me thinking I’m better than others, it goes deeper, I’m the problem. I admit it, I’m the problem, or I’m the one with the problem. People are needy little fuckers that just suck the everloving life right out of me. There are many qualities I despise in people, the top two are being lazy and being a liar.

My wife says I have a strange gift, my ability to watch people, read people, and get just shy to understanding them before a word is ever spoken. You’re right, it sounds like I judge them before knowing them. Or I just don’t have time for bullshit and I just cut to the chase. I don’t want my son turning into me, he has a kind a loving heart that never stops giving. The world needs more people just like him, that is of course my biased opinion. I have a crude way I look at life in general, not that I’m special and I’m not the only one life has fucked without any lube, I just learned from it. I don’t want to be a repeat offender at the mercy of others to decide my fate which is decided with a thumbs up or thumbs down. Life has snuck in her fair share of surprises but looky here bitch…… I’m still standing. In people’s defense, I know I don’t give them a fair shake. Honestly, I see no reason to trust a person who has not earned my trust first. Maybe living in the big city has tainted me. I see what Christians call the “7 Deadly Sins” in almost every person I meet or know. No, I’m not perfect, far from perfect, but I do pay attention and I do have a considerable amount of common sense. I learned, and try to explain, the value of one’s life, it only holds value to yourself, only you value you. I spent a considerable amount of my life trying (and failing) to please others to feel as though I have self worth, something frowned upon by Christians, well Catholics, and it took some hard knocks to the head that made me realize I’m more than just a cog in a machine, my life matters to me, and that is what is important.

Getting divorced, divorcing the Air Force, and getting disowned by my family (parents and sisters) all within a few months of each other does wonders for my self esteem. However, I got mad and I stood the fuck back up, giving life the two finger salute she deserved and I got over it. Fuck it. Divorced? Yes, she needed other men in her life, I didn’t want to share. Over, 13 years in the toilet. The Air Force divorced me, I was no longer fit to perform. Over, 12 years in the toilet. My family, with exception to my mother, disowned me after the found out I was not only looking for my biological parents, but was in communication with my biological mother and the family of my biological father since he was already dead. Want to know more, search this blog, I’ve written extensively about being adopted. In their eyes I was wrong for wanting to where I came from. But, slowly, I got them to understand. Now, we all have a pretty nice relationship, except my oldest sister (also adopted) who still despises me all these years later. Fuck, I just wanted to know where I came from and why I was discarded. Anyway, as I said, I got mad, packing, and off to live my life on my terms.

But, damn, my future wife had (and still does) an ass that commanded my full attention. Women, eventhough they’ll never admit it, are tricky crafty creatures, they play coy but know they are the black widow. One can search the blog for more on her as well. I have a favorite story I’m going to share with y’all, which in my opinion sums up people’s selfishness and how self preservation is more often than not compromised because of being closed minded. The moral of the story you ask; don’t tempt fate.

One day, a scorpion was walking around on a riverbank wondering how to get to the opposite bank. He saw a crocodile basking in the sun. The scorpion went up to the crocodile and said “Crocodile, can I please ride on your back across the river?” The crocodile was taken aback with this said. “Why would I do that? When i am swimming, you will sting me, and I will die,” The crocodile said. “Well, if i sting you, you will sink, and i will drown, for I cannot swim,” the scorpion said. With that, the scorpion climbed on the crocodile’s back, and the crocodile swam across the river. In the middle of the river, the scorpion stung the crocodile. “Why? Why would you do that scorpion!? You too will die now! Why!?” “Because… it is in my nature,” the scorpion replied sadly, and with that, they both sank deep into the water.

I don’t recall where I read or heard this story years ago, but as I aged many things rang true in the story if you relate it to the people in your life. Everyone wants to trust everyone all the time while not being worthy of being trusted. Or let me say that in modern terms, we all want full disclosure but are not willing to provide full disclosure in return. With that being said, y’all can think how you will think, its not my choice. But, I do have trust issues outside of my immediate family, for two reasons, in my opinion, two damn great reasons. The two reasons I don’t trust people are because I don’t know them and becomes I do know them. Simple, right? My wife will tell you I trust only a few because it is part of who I am, part of being a Scorpio (either the best friend or the worst enemy), and partly because of fear. My lack of trust, I suppose, has many contributing factors, gathered throughout my life, and resulting in the current me. She tells me that she likes the fact that I write on my blog, she thinks I need to write a book full of the stories I tell here as well as ones in my private life. I tell her just like I tell y’all, this is just a place for me to “talk”. I don’t consider myself a person who writes, I consider myself a person who likes to share stories, I like it here, I share things I like here, I don’t want it to become ” work”, besides, it’s fun this way for me.

I will never see a day without sheeple being herded into conformity. I don’t want to be one of the sheeple. I’m only sure about one thing in my life, one day I will die, but life will continue for the living. I think on that note I will close this out, I expected it to gradually go somewhere but as we see it never really formed into anything. Like I said, I just wanted to talk. I do know one thing tho, the only alternative to being my friend or enemy is not to exist in my world. But, that would be allot like having a cake and eating it alone.

Is Jesus In The Hearts Of Strippers?

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The following paragraphs were sent to me via email by a young lady I know who wishes her identity remain concealed for the time being. Fair enough. It was not stated where she acquired the story from so I am a little leery posting it, but it is an interesting story which I wanted to share because people have predetermined conclusions about strippers and their lifestyles. In the past I have written about Jesus and God and the role they sometimes play in a strippers mind which were based solely on conversations I had with a young lady from a small church group who wanted to bring strippers into their place of worship. I think this article might have something to do with that group because it all sounds very familiar. This post is generally not something I would touch but since I have some personal experiences I think it will all work out just fine. Let it be known that the opinions held below are not if my own and I neither affirm or decline them since I will remain neutral. However, at the end of the post I will make my remarks and my opinions, neither which will be entirely based in the words written by this person. Its definitely an interesting point of view, so please enjoy.

“Those words, “Jesus Loves Strippers”, written in big, pink, girly letters, graced the front of a little black book small enough to fit in a purse. Inside were the Gospel of John and several testimonies of people formerly in the sex industry who had been radically saved by Jesus. The book lay there conspicuously among the lipsticks, nail polishes, eye shadows, and other goodies we had arranged on the counter for the women to sift through and choose from. The woman who finally chose the book was actually the last person in the dressing room of that strip club I had expected would interact with our outreach team.

“Am I Less Than?” She was rocking some seriously toned arms, had an extremely tough countenance, and was putting off a definite “don’t-mess-with-me” vibe. So when she picked up the book and started asking us questions, I was shocked. She tapped her finger on the word “loves” and boldly and sincerely asked our team, “Does He really? Am I less than to Him because of what I do?” A member of our team swooped in and immediately began telling her about how much God loves her and that He had sent us here to give her that very message. She didn’t know about the Savior because all the Christians she had encountered had joined right along with the world in demeaning her. She was expecting God to do the same.

Up until that point, she had only been met with condemnation from Christians who had chosen to degrade her character right alongside the men in the clubs who exploited her. She didn’t yet know about the Savior who sets us free; the Savior who convicts but never condemns; the Savior who loves her so immensely. She didn’t yet know the Father who created her and saw her as lovely; the Father who longs to be in relationship with her; the Father who longs to bless her; the Father who gave up and sacrificed His own Son so that He could have her as His own daughter. She didn’t know because no one had ever told her or shown her. She didn’t know because all the Christians she had encountered had joined right along with the world in demeaning her. She was expecting God to do the same.

A Better Answer. In rejecting sexual immorality, we have a tendency to also reject people who are enslaved by the spirit of lust and perversion, especially women and girls! Women and girls who are simply trying to survive in a pornified culture. Girls who don’t know the freedom found in Christ because we’ve not offered it to them. Women who look at the Church and see the same degradation found in the strip club. They feel demeaned and vilified for conforming to culture no matter where they turn. It’s completely understandable that they would choose, therefore, to stay within the context of culture rather than seek refuge in the Church. Popular culture is familiar and the Church doesn’t feel at all like a refuge. Christ is stirring His Bride to go after the lost daughters and shower them with His love and honor.

We have to have a better answer than that, and I believe we do! I’m on the front lines of this fight and I must tell you that I am beginning to see a huge shift in the way the Body of Christ is responding to women, and I’m so encouraged by it! Christ is stirring His Bride to go after the lost daughters and shower them with His love and honor. And from what I’ve seen, it works. The same woman who asked us if Jesus really did love her is now no longer working in the sex industry. But more important than that, she found out that, YES! He really does love her.

An Inventory of Our Hearts. I want to invite and urge each of us to take a sincere inventory of our own hearts. Ask yourself these questions:How do I really feel about the so-called “soiled” woman? Do I have God’s attitude toward her? What’s my first thought when I see a girl’s selfie in my Twitter feed that is not quite so G-rated? Do I judge her, or do I have compassion for her?How do I really feel about that promiscuous girl in my class? Do I keep my distance or am I open to God using me to show her His love?These are questions you must answer, because she’s asking you another question. She’s asking you, “Does He really love me?” Here’s a hint: God loves her as much as He loves you. Why not go show and tell her?”

So, what did we think? I like the line that she claims to be on the front lines of the battle. Really, what “battle”? As we all know I do not claim a particular faith and the way the person wrote this based on her beliefs is 75% percent why. To me, in my opinion, it is because of her judgment that she feels the stripper needs saving. Saved from what? Saved from a lifestyle Christians don’t approve of? I think if Christianity, god, and Jesus were all cracked up to be to match all the hype then the minions wouldn’t have to be out recruiting. But, I am probably wrong, I can only see the approach from the outside looking in. There is just so much that pisses me off about this article so I will probably leave it right here and call it the end before anybody gets their feelings hurt. I’m not Christian bashing, its just not the lifestyle for me personally.

Posted From Scorpion Sting’s Motorola Droid Maxx!

Living A Secret Life

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Every so often people I actually know in person will drop me an email just to update me on the happenings in their life. Normally I wouldn’t find the need to say anything here but I got one from a friend, my age, who I have known for some 20 odd years now. He told me he had a good story that would fit right in if posted in the Magic Weekend. I ended up calling Ron because his story was a bit disturbing and I needed to know more. So, since the email was brief, I am going to toss in a little background information first. Ron, 9 years ago walked away from a marriage that ceased to exist. He had known for a few months that his wife was cheating on him and one day he had enough, game over. They didn’t have any children so his choice, he says, was simple. One morning he woke up to go to work, leaving the signed divorce papers on the kitchen table, and when he left he never returned. After around 6 months he was notified by mail that his divorce was final. He didn’t seem real heartbroken about the news either. A few months went by and he dropped by the house with his girlfriend, Amy. She has to be 10 years or more younger than him but that didn’t seem to bother either of them at all.

Skip ahead a few years to the present day and they are still together. Neither wanted to ever get officially married so they never did. Since we keep tabs on one another I was glad he was back in the states again that way maybe we can get together. However, part of his email was to explain that he was moving from Houston and returning to Japan to take a permanent position there with his company. I am sure there is more than just reason he has made this choice, although, as you will read, it would seem he thinks his luck has run out with women. His relationship with Amy is really messed up now, she is not exactly being honest with Ron when he made some inquiries into what she has been up to while he was gone. He’s done with the lies now and decided to move on.

It seems when Ron in Japan for about 3 weeks three to four times a year, Amy is quite the party girl. Ron says he never had a clue and all she ever did when he was home most of the year was go to work and then be home with him. Enter the magic of Facebook networking amongst friends and people he barely new. Amy celebrated her 35th birthday while Ron was out of town, he knew she was going out with friends, but didn’t actually know any of them. Ron was forwarded the picture shown here from a friend of a friend of a friend when he saw that it was Amy. Ron went on to find out that Amy was a part of a paid escort party. Upon a little note digging, Ron found out she had been working as an escort for over 2 years. Needless to say, when he asks her about it she denies everything and blames it on mistaken identity. But he knew, he knew because he was there when she got the tattoo on her shoulder that he clearly sees in the picture. He never showed her the picture, he wanted to catch her in her own lie. After things settled down he decided to call the escort service and request Amy. He waited at the hotel and then when he answered the door he knew their relationship had just ended. No explanation needed, its over.

I am reminded by Ron’s story that just because we think we know what our significant other is up do all day and all night that we are probably only about 80% right about 80% of the time. I am not saying we shouldn’t trust one another, I am just saying to trust what you think first, then everyone else. We may not all be victims of a cheating spouse, but we all know that one doesn’t cheat only with another person. I will leave it there.