These Future Adults Are Our Future

I was going to just post a this picture and move on but I was reminded of a cold hard fact, our fragile future is in the hands of these fucking kids. Sure, we joke now, but I have a feeling we’re in for a very rude awakening when these fucking clowns and others just like them are in charge. I would like to thank the internet, in general, for providing a quick and easy previewing tool for people of all ages to use to share their special moments. No waiting around these days for the skeleton to fall from the closet, we get instant satisfaction. More often than not parents are dropping the fucking ball in the parenting department and the rest of us will soon be reaping the rewards of all that fucking hard work. So, here’s a sign of their future, you should be fucking pleased and proud instead of the ass beating you truly deserve. This picture is a prime example of why certain people should never breed, ever.

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Those Damn Teenage Years

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In a recent conversation with my soon to be fourteen year old son, I was reminded of my youth, the choices I was forced to make, and how rough it really is being that age. I like to think I’m taking a different approach to parenting than the approach my parents took with me, I was raised in a wrath of God house by two very devout Catholics with closet human tendencies. Of course, my wife and my style differs from many parents as I’m told. I also get told I’m doing it wrong, the parents are the boss. Before you assume way to much here, I’m not the “friend” parent type. I am the type of parent who has instilled justifiable fear into his children, after all they live in my house, sleep in my house, and scary shit happens when you least expect it. Anyway, I’ve tried very hard to not raise quitters in a society where quitting has become the norm. I believe in self esteem because without it you have little control of your inward or outward emotions. But, we all get to the point where we start asking when is enough going to be enough, when will the madness end, and why can’t this be easier.

We all have given up at some point. All of us at a certain point have stopped believing that we’ll be able to make it. Some of us have done it often, some just very few times, but all of us know how it feels.The  sad fact is that most of us give up far too soon.My son explained to me that he was thinking the other day, why does he actually give up? What are his most common reasons and are there any ways to get around those reasons for giving up?

He thinks discouragement is the biggest reason for quitting and failure. No matter what you have decided to do, as soon as you share it with people there will be at least few who will tell you that YOU Can’t Do it and come up with different reasons about why it can’t be done. At that point you may decide to give up the idea even before giving it a try.  Instead of thinking about giving up think about how are you going to prove all those people wrong.  In fact proving those who doubt me wrong has been pretty good motivation for me so far, I have spent a lifetime trying to stay on top of my game. As well, if you don’t believe in yourself you will always be tempted to give up because you won’t believe in your success. The self-doubt will be keeping you from pushing forward.

I somehow thought that I was not strong enough to make my dreams come true, but then there was a shift in mindset which sort of set me free. And it was one simple realization. The realization that none of the people who have succeeded are better than me. They worked harder, they were persistent and they believed in their dreams, but they were not actually better, just approached life differently, as most of us do. These days there are so many distractions… Social media, TV series, and different smart phone notifications not letting you focus on the important things. If you don’t keep focus on your goal you will end up with insufficient results and that will discourage you even further. But, as I discussed with my son, social media didn’t exist when I was growing up, none of this shit did. My social media was friends and family. My internet was called “the outdoors”, I earned my allowance by being a part of the family unit team. Unlike today, parents give their children money to just leave them alone. As it is, in our house we are pretty tight, we do allot together on a very regular basis. On top of it all we have dinner together, every night, without fail. Also, no television is on, no cell phones are allowed at the table, and we talk or play games while we eat, there is fun and laughter, and it is also a time to gather to discuss more serious matters, if any.

That reminds me of yet another reason we, as humans, give up, we give up when we don’t get the immediate results. We all want things to happen fast and it is hard to realize that there are things that actually takes time. One can not have instant on and instant off like the flick of a light switch each and every time. Some things, to include pets and people, are more challenging, they take more time, things like trust and value in a person have to be developed and earned, which takes time. There is no such thing as overnight success so we have to keep in mind that it takes time and to be prepared not to give up.

When I am starting something new I am on fire. I am full of enthusiasm and I am motivated. But with the time things may start cooling off and at some point the self-motivation may not be enough to keep me moving. That is when I may think about giving up, that is when I need to go back to beginning and try to recall the big why. Why did I start that project in first place and what was initially motivating me? That brings me back on track most of the time. But still we need motivation, we still need the allure that there is a prize waiting for us at the end. No matter what kind of life you had, you are used to your own personal comfort zone and that brings you great comfort. Now when you have initiated changes you entered the stage of uncertainty and struggle, which by no means is comfortable. What makes me not giving up in those cases is the thought that once I get where I wanna be my new comfort zone will be a much better one. But, what I’ve learned over the years cannot be taught, it has to be experienced. This is my son’s struggle know, the learning curve, stepping out of the comfort zone, finding new experiences doing new things or with new people. Plus, he is at the beautiful age where he has really realized he really likes boobs. One more thing we have in common.

Anything worth achieving is hard. Yes the easiest option is to just give up, but then, will it be easy living with the regret that you gave up midway? On the other hand I would not say that giving up is something terrible and wrong. Sometimes you may end up having too many things on your plate and that may make you overwhelmed. Sometimes you may need to give up certain things because they may not be a priority at that point. I find myself looking at the details in my own life on a regular basis, there is never room for bullshit, it is always the first into the fuckbucket. What is important that you don’t give up your dreams and the things you want really bad. Don’t give up your passion and never give up on life. I understand living with a person like me is challenging, being a sarcastic jackass is a fine art and we all don’t appreciate fine art. We all have given up at some point. All of us at a certain point have stopped believing that we’ll be able to make it. Some of us have done it often, some just very few times, but all of us know how it feels. The  sad fact is that most of us give up far too soon.

Where does all this leave the conversation I was having with my son? Well, he was never actually clear as to what he was thinking about quitting. And, I’m not altogether sure we were even talking about the same thing. Later, while talking with my wife I was informed that a girl he knew in school, friends but not inner circle friends, had committed suicide last week. There was no clear reason why, she left no note, gave the parents no inkling that she was distressed, same with her two sisters, teachers, and friends. Except for one person, who came forward to “confess” to her parents that he knew why. You see, they were boyfriend and girlfriend. She wanted an exclusive relationship (at 14) and he wanted to play the field. She took it had, it killed her self esteem and self worth, and according to him, as she told him, she didn’t feel she was worth the effort of having his love if he was not willing to commit to her. Granted, this is the opinion of a 14 year old boy, and this story was also posted up on Facebook, so I don’t really know if it actually ever happened. But, after going back to my son to talk, he said that I did answer his question of “why people quit” without even knowing that was what I was doing. We talked more, we talked about the cruelty of emotions, especially in a teenager. But suicide is not an easy subject, simply because there isn’t an actual answer to give. The only person who knows is dead.

I don’t know if this makes me angry or sad. I do know that I have been in my sons shoes before, knowing a person who has had her self esteem crushed on a daily basis for “fun” by others. But, that is another topic altogether, since bullying seems to have become so evermore popular these days, or its just more in the public eye these days. As a parent I try to teach my children to hope for the best and prepare for the worst because the two survive together hand in hand. One may think they are just words, but others take those words to heart. As uncomfortable as I was talking with my son about suicide and how I personally believe it should never be the answer for anyone, I was also proud of my son for wanting to sit and talk to me about life, emotions, feelings, relationships, and family with me. It takes courage to begin a conversation with your father when you don’t know what the outcome will be. Both of us feeling a little bummed, we invited the rest of the family to go out for ice cream. Ice cream? Yes, the one thing on the planet stronger than any drug, stronger than and alcohol, stronger than any words, stronger than any bond, it is a time of peace for a troubled mind or a troubled soul. Its a time to take a break from the crap life offers and just enjoy a bite of ice cream.

Yes, I know, ice cream doesn’t solve all problems, but it does give the opportunity to step away from them, not to quit them, but to take a break from them. Everyone needs a break, we all take breaks or celebrate in our own ways. In the end I learned from my son that I should keep my past close so it can be accessed and shared. I never knew my life, in general, would be an education tool for the youth in my family. But then again, we do learn most of what we know from our parents and family. Having children has been the best challenge I never quit. Try something new, get in your child’s head today, give them a nice tight hug, a big smile, and a peck on the cheek. When they ask why just tell them it is because you were thinking about them. It scares the crap out of them. I know from experience that life isn’t easy. It wasn’t designed to be easy. We don’t evolve within ourselves if we are not constantly challenged. Don’t let life discourage you, leave that to the people around you, you know, the people who don’t want you to succeed because they don’t care about succeeding. Until we “meet” again, remember to eat it everyday!

The Fucked Youth Of Our Nation

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It may not be fair of me to judge all of the youth of our nation based on my personal interaction with a few of them lately. But, real quick, I want to share what happened at the gas station first thing this morning. See the picture of my hat? Did you read it? Do you know what it is? At the gas station, this 20 something kid asks “dude, that game is awesome, Deadwood is super hard tho”. Me, “what in the fuck are you talking about”? Kid, ” I’ve been playing that badass game for a couple weeks now, it’s badass dude”. Kid, “you been playing”? Me, “it’s a fucking city in South Dakota you dumb shit”! Kid, “no its not, its the game I’ve been playing on the Xbox, its not a city, that would be a stupid name for a city, its a game, ask your kids, they’ll tell you.” I shook my head and walked away, hoping that his stupid didn’t get on me. Check, I’m clear. What a fucktard bonehead!

The Big Bad Box Of Wasted Memories

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I mentioned yesterday that my mother had forwarded a box to me that basically was full of things I thought didn’t exist any more. I was very surprised, to say the very least, to find the above picture of Shannon and Beth posing for me back in the summer of 1985. The picture was taken the summer prior to the start of my junior year of high school, I was sixteen and knew some very magic combinations, I knew how to have fun exceedingly well. Before I get into what happened that summer want to discuss dead memories and what triggers their revival. For me personally, if I had not went through the contents of the box I may have not even have ever thought of the two girls pictured. But now that I have thought of them, and others, I think it is story time. By the way, the 1978 Ford below is my truck from high school, fully restored 5 years ago, and still one of the trucks I drive in present time. One day, it will be my son’s truck, he helped restore it, and thinks he would like to have it for his first car. OK, story time is starting now. Be forewarned that some of the subject matter may describe illegal, illicit, or explicit accounts in some kind of detail which as an adult, as a parent, I would not approve of if this were one of my children talking.

Going to high school I was not the jock, the nerd, the loner, the rich kid, the smart kid, I was the kid that didn’t stand out, not worried about fashion trends or status, I flew under the radar and it served me very well. That being said, I did play football, basketball, and baseball on the high school teams, but in my opinion, had the skills in the range of average. Imagine, a sophomore, 6’3″ @ around 150# soaking wet. I was long, skinny, and lanky. But, as a first baseman I had some serious reach. As an offensive receiver I had the reach and the sprint speed. In the position of center, I was the only white kid who was regularly dunking the ball to score. I didn’t try real hard at sports, I didn’t like running, and when you hit a skeleton playing football it is painful to the skeleton. And I sure in the hell wasn’t getting any girls because of it either, not even a pity fuck every once in a while. So, I had my own game I played and was very successful at, I figured out how to get all the pussy I could ever want, and I became the dirty little secret nobody talked about. It earned me respect in the circles of guys who were keeping score for all the girls they could score with.

Now, I went to a rather large 5A school, in a redneck town that hosted rival 5A schools, in fact, our graduating class was 414 people just from our school alone. I showed up the first day of my sophomore year driving my 1978 Ford and found that it was an absolute magnet for the girls. They are wanted to be seen in it, and luckily for me, the price for admission was rarely declined. The price? Nakedness. Its one thing to get them naked, but I was greedy, I wanted more from my naked friends, and there was an answer for that as well. I knew that a big truck + a naked girl + alcohol = hot sex for me. It was a grand mathematical equation which never, not even once, failed me. I had a college friend who supplied me with options in the form of whiskey, bourbon, and spirits. Most girls these days had been drinking lite beer or never drank much of anything before so a little tequila would go a long way. Here’s the catch, I would just let them drink what I had, I never asked or demanded sex in return, but everyone knows that tequila makes her clothes fall off. So what to do, she’s drunk, horny, and naked? The answer is now she wants to fuck, she wants to have dirty angry sex that leaves bleeding claw marks on your body. All I did is provided the dick to be rode hard and put away wet.

So, let’s get back to this day at the river with Shannon and Beth shall we. I knew a place on the river that was supposedly accessible only by either foot or by horseback, or in my case a 4×4. So, yea, it was a bit secluded. But, clearly visible to others on the river, just they never figured out how to get out to the sand bars. So, friends and I could party, listen to loud music, drink, grill, eat, and get naked while others missed out. But, on this day on the river, it was just the three of us. To tell the truth I don’t expect the day would end well. Both girls had the reputation for being teases and they did it well separately and even better together. Its fine though, even then I enjoyed watching the half naked girls dancing around, funny how some things just never change. Come to find out, one of them had thrown down the gauntlet because she wanted to be queen of the high school girl teases. As the afternoon progressed, the level of tequila was dropping in the bottles, and the dancing became a hell of allot dirtier. As dusk settled in they were both completely naked, dancing like they were auditioning to be strippers, and then they stepped it up a notch. As I sat in my lawn chair, Shannon slinks over to give me my very first lap dance in life, it will become the lap dance standard which I judge all future lap dances in my life, and I’ve had a few. The grinding of the lap dance was having a wonderful reaction in my shorts and it didn’t take long for this to be noticed, so she would grind harder, digging her nails into my thighs so she could push harder on my lap. Then, all if a sudden she jumps up, walks over to Beth, giving here a tag team high five, which I found meant it was her turn. Now I know where they got the reputation for being a tease team. Not to be showed up, Beth did it harder, slower, and more intense. What are they trying to do, kill me?

I would like to say what happened next has scarred me for life, but that would be bullshit and we all know it. The tag team events continued, ranging from blow jobs, hand jobs, titty fucks, and then the coup d’eta happened which, at 16, absolutely blew me away. They both squatted down between my legs and began making out, a full course of heavy petting, pinching, fingering of each other, and in their spare time had both of their mouths on my dick simultaneously just having their way with me anyway they wanted. At this point I am still just a spectator to the live event unfolding before my eyes that were still in disbelief. Then, then it all escalated, now I was pushed to ground on the blankets, stripped, and they took turns riding me like a mechanical bull. At some time in the later events I recall watching as I blew what can be estimated to be my biggest load of cum across both of their faces. Once they made sure I was tapped out empty, they proceeded to lick the cum from each others face. When everyone caught their breath we went for a moonlight swim, both of them still very playful to say the least. Soon enough the tide had rolled in and we became very much stranded. Toss a few more logs on the fire, crank up the music, and the party continued. I woke up to the sun shining in my face with Shannon and Beth curled up next to me. All I can’t think is how exhausted I am, with a huge shit eating grin of course.

On the first day of my junior year in high school, I crossed the threshold as a legend amongst the people I knew who were stuck on the river bank that night. As far as Shannon and Beth? They returned to school as well, seniors this year, attending, as always, our rival high school. As I walked down memory lane while writing this post I had a sensory overload, I could smell the open fire, the river, and a faint remembrance of how their lite perfumes mixed on their sweaty bodies. I went to a joint high school reunion a few years ago and saw them both, I had heard the gossiping, both on their 3rd husbands, both with housefuls of kids, each with one in college. They both looked very different at that time, as we all do for sure, I didn’t think they recognized me until one of them said “hey, your that guy that had that really cool truck in high school”. Yep, I’m that guy. My wife asked about them and I told her I would tell her about it one day, that day was actually last night. And now, here I sit, reviewing what I have written, and have decided its time to close this story about my youth, for there are many more days for many more stories. Thanks for stopping by and having a read, I always appreciate visitors to my blog and always look forward to your return.

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