Question & Answer Time

Over the last couple of months I have received a shitload, a shitload being considerably larger than a mere boatload, of questions about the origins of not only this blog, but my other two as well. Surprisingly enough, all three do pretty well as far as visitors are concerned. I have to remind myself every once in a while that these blogs pick up new viewers daily and the are not aware of any kind of back story. So, I thought I would take a few minutes to give a quicky overview of what we have going on here. But first, first I must thank ALL of the people who list my blog(s) in their links and blogrolls, since the links get clicked on, in my opinion, out of pure curiosity. So, a big thank you to all of y’all. Secondly, I would like to mention my own blogroll (found on the right-hand side here) where one can see many of the blogs I have link exchanged with and where y’all will find any links in the future that I want to share. Want to swap links? If so, then just let me know.

So, first there is The Sting Of The Scorpion Blog (here where you are at now, a.k.a. T.S.O.T.S.B.) which is my main blog, where I talk about pretty much anything I want and share pretty much anything I want. It is a secretly consulted blog by my wife who, many times, provides input to how I say things here. Other than that, all I can say is that this is my blog to share whatever in the fuck is on my mind.

Second, there is my blog, T.S.O.T.S.B Tattoo Glamour which is a NSFW exploration of tattooed and pierced people of the female persuasion. This blog, with the help of my wife, gives an illustrated view of beautiful female bodies that have been tattooed and/or pierced. A subject close to heart here in my home as my wife is both tattooed and pierced. So, in our admiration of women bold enough to be tattooed and/or pierced, a collection was started and grows all the time.

Thirdly, there is T.S.O.T.S.B. Lingerie Glamour which is the NSFW monochromatic appreciation of women in lingerie where y’all will see modesty isn’t on the menu! While visiting, y’all can enjoy everything from selfies to glamour with everything in between! Although I must give you a final warning because y’all won’t be seeing your grandma’s lingerie anywhere on this blog. Again, around here, we like lingerie of all sorts and this blog gives us the opportunity to show y’all lingerie of the present. All women are sexy and all women wearing lingerie are especially sexy in my opinion.

So, there y’all have it, feel free to click the tires and take us for a ride. We are not blogs for the tastes of everyone but then again one never knows unless you sneak a peek. With that being said I leave y’all to explore and experience what we have to offer. I hope this sums it all up for those who had questions, all I can say now is to explore around here, most of the dark corners are full of surprises. Enjoy, and remember to eat it every day!

Subject: Software Upgrade

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5 and NASCAR Racing 3.6.

I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall feature doesn’t seem to work on Wife 1.0. Please help!!

Thanks,
A Troubled User

Tech Support Answer:

Dear troubled user:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings: Alimony & Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background operation “Yes Dear 1.2” to alleviate software argumentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\ APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 5.0, and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will only cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

So before upgrading from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 please read first all the documentations especially the terms and conditions, this won’t clear up all the confusion but will help you adapt to the new upgrades which are hidden and bundled to Wife 1.0 such as Hergirlfriends 11.9 and it’s upgraded version from old GirlFriend 5.0 plugins such as Gossip 8.7.4 and Activitymonitoring 3.5  a hidden network sniffer, listener and tracker.

Best of luck,
Tech support

Now That I Have Your Attention

Did this post title grab your attention? Good, because that’s what this post is going to be about, getting the attention of the reader or visitor of your blog. Oddly enough, I get many compliments on my blog, how it is laid out, it’s flow, and it’s overall vibe. I’m very intentional when it comes to what is seen, there are no accidents here, it all has one very direct purpose, I want readers to be visually stimulated long enough to make them inquisitive. I have 8 seconds or less to do this, 8 seconds to either make an impact or to bore y’all to tears. Now, I get asked repeatedly how I figure out what I want my blog to look like, to feel like, and what reaction I shoot for. So, finally I let myself get talked into sharing my secrets and my model. Remember, this is how I do it personally, it’s not going to work for everyone.

In today’s technology-fueled and fast paced world, there are distractions in every direction. Our ever shrinking attention span makes it extremely challenging for bloggers to reach their potential visitors. Getting our virtual message across quickly becomes critical. Think of it like a billboard along a highway, a vehicle speeding along @ 70mph has 2-4 seconds to take in the information. With digital information at our fingertips, communicating to visitors is no different; you have just seconds to make that all important everlasting impression.

Depending on the generation y’all are directing your information to, the average attention span can vary wildly. Younger visitors, for example, are especially difficult to grab the attention of, having grown-up with the internet at their fingertips, their attention span is relatively short. Boomers on the other hand, may take a few extra seconds to consider the information being presented. On average, you have roughly 8 seconds to make that all important lasting impression, good or bad.

So how do you do it? Here are a few of my personal ways I’ve learned over the years on getting my message noticed.

State what you want to communicate immediately. Don’t beat around the bush. Don’t get cute or clever, just tell them what you want or how they can benefit from it. They’ll either be interested or they won’t, end of story.

Use unique imagery. As George Carlin said, “If you put two things together that has never been put together before, someone will buy it from you.” Combining images to create something that jars the imagination can stop someone in their tracks long enough to arouse curiosity.

Ask a question. Questions gets the mind thinking and humans are problem solvers by nature. When a question is put in front of us, our subconscious mind begins to work on it. When it comes to your blogging message, get the visitors thinking of how it will better them for reading until the end.

Add a little mystery. This technique is completely opposite of tip 1, however, if used effectively, it can stop someone dead in their tracks. Wrap your post in such a way that the visitors wants to find out more, thus creating a desire or passion for your message.

Tease them. Similar to creating a mystery, teasing arouses curiosity by providing just enough information to get their attention. Teaser ads are often used in print and sometimes outdoor. When using this strategy, timing, punch, and impact is everything. Make sure the time span between the teaser and the actual message is short enough that the visitor doesn’t forget about the teaser to begin with. As the old saying goes… “Always leave them begging for more.”

Use humor. A light-hearted image, a clever statement, or a quick joke or pun is a good method on getting someone’s attention. We all enjoy a good laugh or something that makes us smile.

Keep it simple stupid. Like a billboard, the fewer the words the better. This is sometimes challenging to accomplish, but a shorter message is actually easier to remember and makes the longer impression.

Know your target audience. Even the finest crafted message can miss the mark if aimed at the wrong crowd. Know what you want to achieve and who you need to achieve it. Then customize your message to fit the demographics.

Animate it. Where media dictates, use motion to grab the person’s eye. Colorful, fast moving images are immediate attention getters… just be careful not to over do it… then it just becomes obnoxious.

These tips just cover a few of my basics. Use your creativity to come up with new ways to grab (and hold) the attention of your visitors. I hope I held your attention long enough for you to complete this article. If so, mission accomplished. I don’t typically like doing posts like this, but because the are the basic tools in my box I figured it really couldn’t hurt. The internet is a great and vast place, y’all too will find your niche and make it work. I’m no expert, just a simple man with a blog that I have fun with. Remember that word, fun.

Trolling My Facebook Wall

It never surprises me when trolling my own Facebook Wall that I will see some things which surprise me. With that being said I found these pictures from Rexi @ the McRex Resort of one of her sweet cats checking out my latest blog post. Rexi always plays when I ask of pictures of my blog on your computer as seen by y’all. And then again, like today, she just does it out of the blue for fun.

So lets go ahead and start another round of my blog from your view. Just email me the picture(s) or post them on Facebook and tag me in the photo(s). I will find them one way or another. Then I will post them here and credit you and your blog. And since I have three blogs to choose from y’all have more selections. Please remember my other two are not suitable, in general, for minors, work, or for people with sticks up their asses. Also keep that in mind if posting to Facebook, don’t need anyone getting in trouble for posting NSFW on Facebook. So, let’s see what y’all got, y’all already know I’ll post it here so give me your best shot(s).

Don’t Make Me Go Old School On You

Yea, y’all heard me. Cool phone, huh? While cleaning out my storage I came across this jewel of a phone. Thought I would share it with y’all since this was my very first cell phone ever which I got in the summer of 1999. I wish I had this to show my kids every time the bitched about their phones. The screen is too small, its too slow, and so on and so forth. Yes, it is a Nokia, the going rage back then, as well as being one of very few options one could purchase. I was all teched out back then, had my pager (which I guess is lost somewhere) and my phone, oh was I living the life back then…..lol. Wondering why I still have it yet? Damn good question, my best guess is it went in a box with other shit, taped up, and put out of sight, like many other things I have found, until today, which has been like a fucking treasure hunt. Much of this stuff in storage has been boxed up for about 15 years or so, some of this shit goes all the way back to the mid-80s and more added once I got out of the Air Force. So far, day one of cleaning this jam packed 10×20 storage has been a journey. Why in the hell do we keep stuff? I mean really, what’s the point? On the flip side of that question I do have things in storage which are near and dear to me, hand me downs from grandparents, my dad, and stuff I collected around the world. But damn, there’s allot of just straight junk and trash in there also. It’s always been the catch all for shit we didn’t have room for and didn’t know what to do with.

But, that time has come and gone, the time is now to make a clean break, a new start, and I made a decent dent in it today. At least now I can walk into the space, before today I could only reach in. I have tomorrow and three days next week to get anything out that fits in my car that way when I roll up the last week of this month with my trailer I’m only moving “furniture” items. My goal is to reduce the boxes to about 25% or so and so far I’m doing a fine job. And so far so good, no live or dead critters have been found and I haven’t come across anything that is wet yet, so the  surprises have been down to a minimum.

Anyway, this little post is pretty pointless, but I just wanted to check in with everyone, let y’all know I was still alive, and at the same time share a little nostalgia with everyone. Yes, I know a few of y’all were very young in 1999 so by the time you got your first cell phone they had come a long way. I’m sure if I find more great shit I will take a picture of it and share it in the near future. Once everything slows down by the end of this month I will be able to get back to “blogging” more. Until we meet again, remember to eat it every day!

Wondering Where To Begin……

Have you ever had such a daunting task ahead of you that you truly try to avoid it altogether? I just so happen to have such a task ahead of me. Looks like lady luck is on my side once again today because its raining. Which works for me because I’ve been fucking avoiding the task of cleaning out my storage unit for a couple years now. I can only imagine all of you OCD motherfuckers freaking out right now as you look at the picture. But, in all seriousness, its time to get it done, time to get out what we want, trash the trash, donate the old clothes and toys, and sell a few things I have been holding onto for years.

It’s time, I’ve been packratting this storage unit since 2000. Now that my daughter is married and moved out of our apartment we have a spare bedroom. So, we decided that the storage unit could go. I did the math the other day, $80.00 a month for 180 months is $14,400.00 that I’ve paid to store everything we didn’t want to throw away. That’s allot of fucking money! So, now we will weed through all of it and be done with the storage space. I’m actually kinda excited to see what I will find. I can only say I actually can account accurately for about 30% of the contents. Stuff like camping gear, holiday decorations, a waterbed, a dresser, an antique singer sewing machine, an electronic dart board, a $4,000.00 bowflex, and most of my Air Force stuff. I can’t even guess on anything else. Yes, I know its sad. Oh, and there’s a few boxes of Japanese antiques I told my ex I got rid of only because she wanted them. I’m interested in those boxes, got some stuff from older dynasties, 1700s and 1800s. This should be interesting, there’s stuff from this and my prior marriage, there’s just no telling what I will find.

I will be working on this the rest of the month as I need to be out by the 1st. For the things I will be selling or giving away I will offer it up here first I guess. It’s bigger stuff like the dart board for sure, but it would need to be picked up as I can no longer deliver. We’ll just have to see how it all plays out. My intentions are to get it cleaned out, then see where I’m at. Can’t start tomorrow, will be at the VA most of the day I guess, time for my next fluid draining and shot in my knee. This little ordeal usually fucks me up for a few days. I’m sure this isn’t the last post about the storage, I will update as I get into it. Maybe one more month won’t hurt…..

Entering Through The Exit Door

Welcome to 2016, a year that so far has proven to not be any different than previous years. Of course time does tick and days fly off the calendar, but people will never fucking change. That was reenforced earlier today while i was visiting our local big box store. Typically I know why I’m going to the store, typically I know exactly what I’m looking for, and today wasn’t any fucking different. My mission was to get a bag of potatoes, cooking oil, a pack of new socks, and a new air freshener for my car. A simple fucking mission that should have taken ten minutes but almost ended with my ass going to jail. But, let’s back up a bit, we need not be at the end yet.

When I arrive at the store I parked quickly and headed in. As I’m going in the doors clearly marked with the word “Enter” a lady pushing her cart full of groceries, with the young children on tow, who was so concerned with what was going on with her phone nearly took me out, but I lived to shop yet another fucking day. As I watched her wander into the parking lot her kids were all over the place while she was still on her fucking phone. As amazed as I was, I had shit to buy so I could get out of this fucking zoo. Oh, you’re wondering what was said, I told her “excuse you this is the entrance” and she didn’t say anything, never looked up from her phone.

So, I grab everything I came for and went to the self checkout because I only had four things. Done. Time to go. As I’m heading to the exit I can see and hear a shitload of commotion going on. At first I can only see the two sheriff’s deputies but as I got closer I see the lady who was on her phone who almost hit me walking out the entrance a bit ago. Seems she had four children when she entered the store but only three followed her out. So, as she is in a big fucking panic now, blaming everyone under the sun, all because she couldn’t get off her fucking phone. As sad as this situation is, as much as I don’t think she needs to be in possession of any children, I offered to help find her missing child. However, that changes after she pops off by yelling at me because I’m the reason she got distracted at the door when she was leaving. Wait just a fucking minute here! So, I verbally unloaded on her everything I was thinking before but bit my tongue and didn’t say. Needless to say, in the heat of it all I was politely, yet sternly removed from the entrance of the store, where I had a seat in the sheriff’s cruiser so I could give all my information and my side of the story. So I explained it to him. Ten minutes later I was let out of the car, only after asking twice if I was being arrested.

And then, then I just left, never looked back either. After a bit of reflection I’m torn as to how I really feel about today’s events. Half of me thinks she deserved to have this happen to her. Makes me really wonder if this is the first time she lost track of one or more of her children. It’s one thing to be a self centered cunt being on the phone not paying attention. It’s one thing to go out the wrong door while fucking around on the phone and almost taking someone out. I get it, some people just have their head up their ass all the time. Half of me, the dad half, worries about her children eventhough they’re not mine. I do hope everything ends up well and I’m not watching the news about a young child being found dead in the woods after being raped and tortured. But, all things happen for a reason and maybe, given a slight glimmer of hope for her, this was her fucking wake up call. I can’t honestly say, only she knows the answer.

Well, anyway, I need to get my ass in gear making my sausage and fried potatoes. Look, we all are going to die, I might as well die eating the foods I like eating. I have some more to talk about, but not now, but probably tomorrowish.