Okay People, Here We Go Again

What is it with everyone? As my blog has become a little more popular, a little bit more exposed, and a little more read, I keep getting people wanting to know what the person behind the scorpion looks like. Why is that important? If you know me you know me, if I share it with you or you see me in person is when you know you know me. Search this blog, there’s pictures of me here somewhere. Yes, it’s true, I’m shadowed in my fair share of anonymity for good reasons in my book. What I look like is not important, the fact that this keeps y’all guessing is not important, respecting my choices to operate in this manner should be important. But, I will do y’all a favor, just to show y’all I’m human and care a little, and show myself to y’all so you get an idea if my appearance.

As well, I will introduce my new icon/logo that I’m considering changing to. But I have decided yet, I like the red scorpion. The one luxury I have in life is to be able to travel the internet light a figment of the imagination, a déjà vu y’all feel in the breeze, and that taste of you sometimes have in your mouth.  I will offer y’all this, those of you concerned will understand, if you have my cell number or I have yours, I will exchange things with you, I owe a select handful my real name already because as friends, we should be on the same page, plus it makes it easier in person. Anyhow, here is what I might switch to. Yay or nay?

Having A Last Will And Testament

Being of sound mind and memory, I do hereby publish this as my last will and testament. 

First, although my surviving spouse will need all the financial help possible, I give my surviving wife only half of my possessions and I give my remaining half to my loving children. 

Second, I appoint my surviving spouse as guardian of our children, but as a safeguard, despite utmost confidence in my spouse’s judgement, I require that a report be given to the probate court each and every year and an accounting rendering how, why, and where money was spent for proper care of the children. 

• (A) As a further safegaurd, despite my utmost confidence in my spouse’s integrity, I direct that the necessary time and money be spent to obtain a performance bond to guarantee to the probate court that proper judgement will be excercised in handling, investing, and spending the children’s money. 
• (B) As a final safeguard, despite my desire to free my surviving spouse from undue burdens and potential harassments, when our children become of legal age, I give them the right to demmand and recieve a complete accounting of all financial actions taken with their money. 

Third, Should my spouse re-marry and subsequently die having made no will, the new spouse shall be entitled to one half of everything my spouse possessed. Should my children need some of this share for food, clothes, or other support, the new spouse may simply, and quite legally, refuse to spend any of it on their behalf. 

• (A) At death, the second spouse shall also have sole right to decide who is to get his share, my children may be legally excluded. 

Fourth, should my spouse pre-decease me or die while any of our children are minors, I do not wish to excercise my right to nominate the guardian of our children. Rather, I direct my relatives and friends to get together and argue about it. If they fail to agree on a guardian, I direct the probate court to make the selection. If the court decides to appoint a complete stranger, that will be fine with me. 

Fifth, under existing law, there are certain ways to lower the ammount of federal taxes on my estate payable at my death. Although my spouse and children could put this tax savings to good use, I would rather give the money to the Internal Revenue Service. 

I witness whereof, I have set my hand to this Last Will and Testament. 

This day_____________20____ 

Witness: _______________________________ 

Witness: _______________________________ 

_______________________________ Signature 

–Disclaimer–

A note to my readers. I hope that you could tell that this is not a legal document of any sorts, and should not be taken seriously, it was designed as a parody to demonstate the perils of not having a will. If I have got you to think about your own will, I have done my part, wills are a very important part of life and even our death.

Posted From Scorpion Sting’s Motorola Droid Maxx!

Attention ALL Brilliant Inventors

Attention Idiots!

Overexposure Sensory Overload

One of my favorite things about arriving to work at Club X was the absolute red carpet rock star treatment. This treatment wasn’t just reserved for me, it is how everyone who pulls up to the front door for valet parking is treated. There is no better feeling than pulling up to the red carpet, having your door opened for you by a Wicked Weasel bikini clad beauty who extends her hand to assist you getting out, and then turning your keys over to her so she can drive away to park your vehicle. I would experience this only a couple times a week because I would drive my H1 into work, but normally I was riding my Goldwing and I would just park her myself. It doesn’t stop there, that was only the start, because now one has to go through the entrance where one is greeted cheerfully by scantily clad to full nude attendants who grab you by the arm to escort you to be carded and banded. Finally, a lovely assistant will take you into the club and give you the grand tour and eventually seat you in the best seat in the house. Which, in the end, every seat is the absolute best seat. For me this is where my journey would end because I would peel off to my bar to get set up for yet another party.

For first timers this initial experience is very overwhelming because these young ladies have just scratched the surface for what the rest of the night has to offer. I enjoy watching the fresh faces come thru the door because the look on their faces reminds me of the look on my face when I lost my virginity so many years ago. Lets just say they are smiles from ear to ear for most of the night. Since my bar double as a rather large stage the newbies tend to migrate there because they can all be together while they stretch their wings to see what direction they want to go. I get allot of old hats as well because the shows that happen on my bar do not happen anywhere else in the club and some people look forward to what they might see. Of course they are not there to see me, they are sitting here to see the strippers because they know that as the night progresses that the shows on the bar get a little bit dirtier, a little bit nastier, and the strippers tend to really show off their skills while laid out on my bar.

Every once in a while we will get a gentleman at the bar who is easily embarrassed. Normally this would be no big deal but the strippers here exploit the fact that someone is a little taken aback by what he sees. A great example of this would be once when a young man in his early twenties could not maintain eye contact with anyone at all, not even me. He seemed to always have something to look away at, he would find a focal point someplace, and that turned out to be his utter demise. The strippers ganged up on him, they tortured him visually, and they would not let him escape. It started with one stripper that sat on his lap facing him face to face. She began with slow, methodic movements which were little less than a slow grind on his lap. I remind you at this point that she is completely nude so the only thing between him and her are his jeans. It only takes a little bit of this activity before she discovers that he has become very excited and very erect, which, in the end, was her goal. She wanted to get him all worked up, she wants to take him to absolute very edge and then as fast as she was on his lap she was leaving his erection to fend for itself. Cruel? Yes. This is an effective ploy by the strippers since they can “handle” the customer as much as they want and how they want but the customer never gets to do the same, nine out of ten times the customer is asked to sit on his own hands, which is a true act of cruelty.

The strippers, the ones who make the most money, have mastered the art of the dry fuck and they know just when to stop. Sometimes, I think as a cruel trick, they take it just a little to far, just to see the mess someone will make in their pants. Why do the strippers try so hard? Money, money, and more money. They know that they can separate you from your money if they can give you something you don’t already have. Which is the point really, the strippers are there to make money and the customers are there to spend money, so it’s like a match made in heaven if you will. Some of my favorite strippers to watch are the ones that are stripping for some supplemental income. They may have another job or they may be a stay at home wife/mother who needs the added income. As soon as they get over being shy the party gets started and they put on the best shows ever. One would be surprised how many strippers are stripping on the side, I know I was surprised. One must ask, are they here for fun, boredom, the money, or a little bit of all three?

An example of a stripper who is here part-time is Rox, she is a CNS (Clinical Nurse Specialist) and has worked at one of the largest hospitals here in Houston for the past 2 years. In our talks it was mentioned that she takes in just shy of $90K, she is the mother of three boys, and has been divorced for the past 3 years. When I asked her why she was here she told me that she has always loved dancing, she has always stayed in shape, and she figured if she could keep up with the college girls that she might be able to make some extra money. Oddly enough, she answered an add in the paper and the rest is strip club history. Asking yourself how old she is yet? I know, but I will never tell. Why? Because its not that important, I will say she is between 28 and 34 and that is all I will say. I will say that the quiet talk around here pegged her as a threat to the other strippers money and they weren’t happy about that fact. She has a little experience in life under her belt which makes her a more well-rounded person, plus, c’mon, she is a freakin nurse! I know, I know, I know, we don’t like to think that our mothers and our professionals in society could possibly be strippers. Say it isn’t so Scorp. I can’t because the reality of it all is that woman have found the golden ticket and realize that in exchange for a little skin exposure they can really clean up at the bank. Lets just say that weeks prior to Christmas 2013 she picked up an extra $8K for shopping. There is no doubt in my mind that she is good at what she does, she always gets my attention, especially when she is on my bar. Just wow.

Another example of a person looking for a second income who has a decent job already is Kat, she is a 2nd year associate lawyer at a medium size law firm here in Houston that employs around 300 lawyers, making an annual $125K. She is here for fun. She and I have talked allot because she has been and probably always will be the shyest stripper I have ever met. It seems like every time she hits the stage is her very first time. We get along tho, we have similar music tastes, in fact I pick out her songs when I’m working because she knows they will be fast and hard-hitting, just like her. Kat is in her late 20s and demands your attention when she is on the dance floor. If she can’t get your attention on the dance floor or by giving you a lap dance then you just might have issues. Sad thing is she knows she is rockin hot, sad thing is she knows that when she catches your eye that she owns you. Allot of the strippers have this attitude but only Kat and a handful of others are actually capable of making you fall under their trance. Beware the stare of the Kat!

But Scorp, we don’t care about who and why the strippers are there. We come to a full nude strip bar to see titties, ass, and pussies everywhere. Why do we need to know all the rest of this shit. I’ll tell you why, it’s because not everyone understands that these strippers are more than a piece of meat hanging in the market window for y’all to imagine fucking. Each one of them has a story and fortunately I have the opportunity to hear some of their stories. But, I agree, people come to a strip club for three basic reasons, they want to get drunk, they want to get drunk while watching full nude strippers do things their wives and girlfriends would never do, and they come to the strip club to leave their problems behind them and just have a great time. Nobody walks into a strip bar on accident, it is a clear & conscious choice usually made with a little advance planning.

For those of y’all new to The Sting Of the Scorpion y’all are probably feeling just a wee bit left out. My recommendation to you is to look to the right and locate the “Category Listing” for this blog and click “Scorpion Sting’s Bartender Stories” for past stories. Unfortunately the list is rather short, like 18 selections, because early in 2013 Google decided to kill my Blogger account which was home to one of my blogs called “Bartender: Untold Stories“. Unfortunately I was only able to save a few of the stories and have been writing new ones as time progresses. I think there are a few more in “The Dead Blog Archives” as well. Anyway, check those out and read up on why and how I have been able to tell these fantastic stories and look forward to many more. I have only begun to delve into my little black book for great interviews and stories.

The Texas Renaissance Festival 2013

My wife and I were given tickets to go visit “The Texas Renaissance Festival 2013” by my cousin who has been a renaissance enthusiast for over 20 years. In the beginning she a mere fan, but that developed into being at least 6 months of the year preparing the nine weekends the festival runs out in Plantersville Texas. Ellen (my cousin), in my opinion, has let this lifestyle really consume her life. So much so that her twin son and daughter are as heavily involved as she is. But, she is very fun to be around. If you are trying to pick her out of the crowd in the picture above she is the one on the horse.

Ellen, who is 44 (maybe she won’t kill me for revealing that fact) is the single mother of twins, Eric & Erin. Eric is in the picture above, third one in on the left side (with his hands in his pockets), is part of the all boys choir and has been performing at the Renaissance Festival since he was like 10, he is now 22. Erin, she is a different kind of performer all together (pictured below), she doesn’t a walking performance handling her python. As a note to long time readers, you will recall right at two years ago that my female python gave birth to a good-sized clutch and Erin ended up with five of them. In fact, one of the “babies” is her favorite and is the one she walks around with. She has been doing things with snakes since she was 10 as well, who is coincidently 22 as well now.

Now, I haven’t been to the Renaissance Festival for many years, in fact I was a senior in high school the last time I had been out there. So, it’s been a few years. When my cousin called me up  and asked if we wanted to go (her treat), my wife was all over the idea because she has never been. We have never been since we have been married because I’m a cheap bastard and never wanted to spend the $26 per person admission (off site price, $36 at the entrance) because in my opinion nothing really stood out to me that I needed to see again. But, free is a good price.  We picked this past weekend for two reasons, first being I felt my foot would be healed enough to walk around and second it was the pirate themed weekend of the festival. No, we did not dress up. Why? long story short, I don’t dress up to go out into public. Strangely enough, we were on the low-end of people making this particular choice as 80% of the people or more did dress up. So, in a way, we were the freaks that got gawked at. I actually took many pictures throughout the day and night but most of them can’t be shown here because they are really racy. My wife would point and I would take the pictures. We made a good team. This was the ideal place to be an avid people watcher without a doubt, especially after the sun went down. After the sun goes down the inhibitions of many of the people also were lowered, which might have had allot to do with alcohol and the different things I saw being passed around, which the nose confirms as a very familiar and distinctive scent. Whoever coined the phrase “the freaks come out at night” was dead on.

Before it got altogether dark we sat to watch a “period band” perform (below) while we enjoyed our giant turkey leg dinner. We weren’t really paying attention until the “tone” of the music changed. Out of the blue we hear their rendition of the song “Jump Around” (Cypress Hill) full on with bag pipes and heavy drums. It was strange to watch and stranger to hear. That song was followed up by “Sail” (Awolnation) which blew away any acoustic version I have ever heard before. Now these boys had my attention for a while. We enjoyed some other songs performed and then it was their break time and oddly enough, it was time for another margarita for me and the wife. After reloading with margaritas we set off walking again. People watching at a freak show is hard for someone like me who suffers from short-term attention span syndrome. We only thought that everyone was scantily clad during the day, we were wrong. by 10pm it was a skinfest competition and there was allot of skin to say the very least. I will leave it there so you can use you own imaginations.

In the end, we had fun in our own little way. We walked allot, we drank a fair amount of margaritas, we didn’t buy one souvenir (bonus), not even something for the kiddos. We went into every shop they had to offer it seems and we saw some really cool shit to say the least, but nothing I couldn’t live without. I think picking the pirate themed weekend was a good choice on our part, we like pirates. However, my wife did ask if we could go again next year since she really enjoyed our day out together with no kids. Next year, if I were to make a bet on it, will be my wife dressing up to enjoy the day. Should be interesting if it all works out her way. She knows I won’t dress up, I have my own personal hang ups I know. We did see a fair amount of kids out there of all ages, tagging along with the parents, however, I wouldn’t recommend it after dark because the party gets a little dirty. Most parents saw this as the opportunity to head home which I thought was a good choice, and had my kids been with me I would have done the same thing. This is pretty much an adult themed place for adults because once you walk through the gates all the “normal” rules in life get tossed right out the window. Reminded me of being back in college for some reason. For those of y’all who have never been then you should try it out. The weather was perfect in my opinion for a day out at the Texas Renaissance Festival and we are glad we took up my cousin on her generosity, thanks Ellen.

As a housekeeping note I need to let y’all know that the Texas Renaissance Festival graphic and the pirate flag graphic were borrowed from the Internet using a Google search. Both images are assumed free to use for the public. If otherwise is known please let me know. The other 4 photos were taken by me using my Motorola Droid Maxx, the top three are of people in my family and the last of a band that was playing some pretty cool music. My personal pictures are not for re-use or re-post and were taken for the sole purpose of this particular post. I hope y’all enjoy looking at them but please do NOT share them. I hope y’all have enjoyed my attempt at showing a little bit of the Texas Renaissance Festival.

Should I Even Call This Mess A “Blog”?

I suppose by “definition” what I have here could be considered to be a blog. Do you know the definition of blog? The simple version which concludes that a blog is a website where entries are written in chronological order and commonly displayed in reverse chronological order. Mine does that. I also do allot of Mobile blogging (moblogging), which is a method of publishing to a blog from a mobile phone. A moblog helps habitual bloggers (like myself) to post articles and pictures directly from their phones even when on the move. Mobile blogging has been made possible by technological convergence, as bloggers have been able to write, record and upload different media all from a single, mobile device. Mobile blogging is popular among people with camera phones which allow them to send photos and video that then appear as entries on their blog, or to use mobile browsers to publish content directly to any blogging platform with mobile posting compatibility. In the end, it is convenient because I can do when the moment arises or the thought crosses my mind. There are many advantages to being able to blog from anywhere and anytime. Mobile blogging is particularly helpful to travelers or people on the move when access to a computer with Internet connection may be difficult. The traveler can snap photos and with an enabled phone can easily upload such pictures with text descriptions directly to his or her blog. If the camera phone is equipped for Auto-geo-tagging, the blog may be able to show a map of the locations. With my new phone, (Motorola Droid Maxx),  which is less than a week old, has many new features which have been really exciting as far as being able to keep up with my blog and all the ones I try to visit regularly.

A majority of the blogs are interactive, allowing visitors to leave comments and even message each other on the blogs, and it is this interactivity that distinguishes a blog from other static websites. In that sense, blogging can be seen as a form of social networking service. Indeed, bloggers do not only produce content to post on their blogs, but also build social relations with their readers and other bloggers throughout the world. Many blogs provide commentary on a particular subject; others function as more personal online diaries; others function more as online brand advertising of a particular individual or company. A typical blog combines text, images, and links to other blogs, web pages, and other media related to its topic. I think I’m still qualifying as a blog. The ability of readers to leave comments in an interactive format is an important contribution to the popularity of many blogs.

People have different ideas when it comes to the length of post. Many people advocate keeping it short, however some of the best posts I’ve written or read have been long, some very very long. They were the best because they did not skim the subject so they gave real value and often told their story making it engaging by making a personal connection with me the reader. I believe that the posts that make that personal connection that resonates with the reader get more likes, more comments, and get shared more. Being I post allot of pictures here as well I often have very short posts because the “message” is self-contained in the picture.

Anyone who surfs the “net” can find that the blogosphere counts several million active blogs offering a great variety of topics and content. The wonderful aspect of a blog creation is that anyone who has a particular hobby, knowledge, passion or a business to promote, can easily do it, and they generally do. I guess, looking back, the danger is starting a blog without a specific plan, target group, and more importantly knowledge of content for which the blog was created. Good content is the most important factor of your blog since not only it is the key to attract readers and turn them to loyal followers but also to increase your internet exposure via the search engines. I don’t look for search engine exposure, meaning I don’t do anything on purpose which gives me a ranking or page position. People just find me one way or another. I follow some basic rules of engagement in order to produce what I consider to be successful content and, at the end of the day, achieve my blog’s goal which is to get read and encourage readers to return back to my blog. Let’s explore my general rules of engagement and guidelines.

The 10 Rules I blog by.

01. Define your blog and who you wish to target to read your blog. The 1^st thing to do is to organize your ideas and define the main topic which will define your blog’s identity.

• What do I want to write about today? The next day? 6 months from now?
• What is my target group of readers, follower, and visitors?
• What type of language should I use to communicate with my readers?

02. Make time to make posts.

• A blog needs time and efforts to stay permanently active and help you interact on a regular basis with your readers.
• Don’t risk losing your audience because of a lack of communication.

03. Take time to talk to your audience. Make them feel as though they can interact with you and make sure they get the interaction they are looking for.

• Having defined your target group of readers, you will need to write in the appropriate tone and style to attract their interest and understanding; imagine having a conversation with your audience and write clearly and simply as if you were talking to them.
• When I write, I write as if I am talking, whether just out-loud or physically to others.

04. Give your blog and posts a friendly and inviting format.

• Even if you believe your post is original and really interesting, if it comes in a big block of text, no one will take the time to read it; you need to provide the reader with a friendly post format by separating it into distinct and concise paragraphs, preceded by sub-headings when needed, use bullet points lists where needed (like here with what I’m doing), illustrate it with images, use bold or italics to point out your key elements and you’ll get your reader’s attention.

05. When starting a new post use eye catching and attractive titles.

• Once your post is written, take your time to come up with a fantastically eye catching title. Your title is how you’ll attract the readers repeatedly. It should directly inform the reader regarding what your post is about, a sort of “summary” of what he/she will read.

06. Be sure to use “tags” which will be effective in relation to your post.

• Ask yourself which terms are more likely to be used by users when they search for the particular topic.
• Then make sure you use the main keywords and come up with different variations that are likely to be searched when formulating your tags.
• Finally try to incorporate the “tag” words in the keywords of your post in order to increase the possibility to be found in the search engines.

07. Update your blog frequently to keep the content fresh and inviting.

• As mentioned earlier, you need to determine a time plan in order to frequently update your blog, ideally on a daily-basis.
• This will not only keep the attention of your readers but also it will help you attract more readers and loyal followers to your blog.
• The more content you produce the more traffic you are likely to get from your readers.

08. Use “social media” buttons to encourage your readers to share.

• There are many out there, I personally use Facebook, Pinterest, Google+, and Twitter.
• By setting up an RSS Feed and by encouraging your users to subscribe, you will increase your readers and you are more likely to get more returning visitors.
• Note that most Blogging engines automatically support RSS feeds, so all you need to do is to place their button in a strategic position in order to help readers subscribe.
• It doesn’t hurt to belong to a great blogging community either. My personal favorite is Blogcatalog!
• Additionally social media can drive you lots of traffic and they can help you build steady communication with your readers.
• Make sure you add sharing buttons in your blog and try to place them too in strategic positions to increase the number of shares.

09. Try to incorporate “how-to” and “top-10” posts on occasion to mix things up and keep the reader wondering what’s next.

• The how-to guides and the top-10 articles usually become very popular on social media networks.
• People love these articles and they are more likely to read them, like them, comment on them, and share them.
• Additionally by creating such content you are more likely to increase your search engine traffic since many surfers search for such content regularly.

10. I have found that proof reading and spell checking are valuable tools.

• This might be common sense but sometimes we can be so enthusiastic about a new post that we forget to take the time to proof read it.
• Remember that you may be listed and archived in the Internet along with your grammar, syntax or even informative mistakes.
• Don’t forget to be honest about what you share.
• If you have the patience to keep being an active blogger and creating good content, you will be surprised to see your audience growing and your blog getting the success it deserves.

I have learned over the years that my blog(s) tend to develop multiple personalities and sometimes I need to reel them back in. When I started here at WordPress I wanted to have one blog that expressed ALL of my ideas. I wanted one stop shopping. I combined 6 blogs to create The Sting Of The Scorpion which I feel know encompasses the message(s) I’m trying to express. My blog is very much a reflection of what mood I am in at any particular moment. In the end, it works for me and that results in more mileage for my blog. I am very dedicated to the upkeep and appearance of my blog. This keeps me active here which results in more posts for others to read.

All the pictures and some of this information was borrowed from the World Wide Web to be placed on The Sting Of The Scorpion, because everything else just bites. Remember boys and girls, eat it everyday, and twice if you are up to it.