The Texas Renaissance Festival 2013

My wife and I were given tickets to go visit “The Texas Renaissance Festival 2013” by my cousin who has been a renaissance enthusiast for over 20 years. In the beginning she a mere fan, but that developed into being at least 6 months of the year preparing the nine weekends the festival runs out in Plantersville Texas. Ellen (my cousin), in my opinion, has let this lifestyle really consume her life. So much so that her twin son and daughter are as heavily involved as she is. But, she is very fun to be around. If you are trying to pick her out of the crowd in the picture above she is the one on the horse.

Ellen, who is 44 (maybe she won’t kill me for revealing that fact) is the single mother of twins, Eric & Erin. Eric is in the picture above, third one in on the left side (with his hands in his pockets), is part of the all boys choir and has been performing at the Renaissance Festival since he was like 10, he is now 22. Erin, she is a different kind of performer all together (pictured below), she doesn’t a walking performance handling her python. As a note to long time readers, you will recall right at two years ago that my female python gave birth to a good-sized clutch and Erin ended up with five of them. In fact, one of the “babies” is her favorite and is the one she walks around with. She has been doing things with snakes since she was 10 as well, who is coincidently 22 as well now.

Now, I haven’t been to the Renaissance Festival for many years, in fact I was a senior in high school the last time I had been out there. So, it’s been a few years. When my cousin called me up  and asked if we wanted to go (her treat), my wife was all over the idea because she has never been. We have never been since we have been married because I’m a cheap bastard and never wanted to spend the $26 per person admission (off site price, $36 at the entrance) because in my opinion nothing really stood out to me that I needed to see again. But, free is a good price.  We picked this past weekend for two reasons, first being I felt my foot would be healed enough to walk around and second it was the pirate themed weekend of the festival. No, we did not dress up. Why? long story short, I don’t dress up to go out into public. Strangely enough, we were on the low-end of people making this particular choice as 80% of the people or more did dress up. So, in a way, we were the freaks that got gawked at. I actually took many pictures throughout the day and night but most of them can’t be shown here because they are really racy. My wife would point and I would take the pictures. We made a good team. This was the ideal place to be an avid people watcher without a doubt, especially after the sun went down. After the sun goes down the inhibitions of many of the people also were lowered, which might have had allot to do with alcohol and the different things I saw being passed around, which the nose confirms as a very familiar and distinctive scent. Whoever coined the phrase “the freaks come out at night” was dead on.

Before it got altogether dark we sat to watch a “period band” perform (below) while we enjoyed our giant turkey leg dinner. We weren’t really paying attention until the “tone” of the music changed. Out of the blue we hear their rendition of the song “Jump Around” (Cypress Hill) full on with bag pipes and heavy drums. It was strange to watch and stranger to hear. That song was followed up by “Sail” (Awolnation) which blew away any acoustic version I have ever heard before. Now these boys had my attention for a while. We enjoyed some other songs performed and then it was their break time and oddly enough, it was time for another margarita for me and the wife. After reloading with margaritas we set off walking again. People watching at a freak show is hard for someone like me who suffers from short-term attention span syndrome. We only thought that everyone was scantily clad during the day, we were wrong. by 10pm it was a skinfest competition and there was allot of skin to say the very least. I will leave it there so you can use you own imaginations.

In the end, we had fun in our own little way. We walked allot, we drank a fair amount of margaritas, we didn’t buy one souvenir (bonus), not even something for the kiddos. We went into every shop they had to offer it seems and we saw some really cool shit to say the least, but nothing I couldn’t live without. I think picking the pirate themed weekend was a good choice on our part, we like pirates. However, my wife did ask if we could go again next year since she really enjoyed our day out together with no kids. Next year, if I were to make a bet on it, will be my wife dressing up to enjoy the day. Should be interesting if it all works out her way. She knows I won’t dress up, I have my own personal hang ups I know. We did see a fair amount of kids out there of all ages, tagging along with the parents, however, I wouldn’t recommend it after dark because the party gets a little dirty. Most parents saw this as the opportunity to head home which I thought was a good choice, and had my kids been with me I would have done the same thing. This is pretty much an adult themed place for adults because once you walk through the gates all the “normal” rules in life get tossed right out the window. Reminded me of being back in college for some reason. For those of y’all who have never been then you should try it out. The weather was perfect in my opinion for a day out at the Texas Renaissance Festival and we are glad we took up my cousin on her generosity, thanks Ellen.

As a housekeeping note I need to let y’all know that the Texas Renaissance Festival graphic and the pirate flag graphic were borrowed from the Internet using a Google search. Both images are assumed free to use for the public. If otherwise is known please let me know. The other 4 photos were taken by me using my Motorola Droid Maxx, the top three are of people in my family and the last of a band that was playing some pretty cool music. My personal pictures are not for re-use or re-post and were taken for the sole purpose of this particular post. I hope y’all enjoy looking at them but please do NOT share them. I hope y’all have enjoyed my attempt at showing a little bit of the Texas Renaissance Festival.