A Little Twisted Christmas Humor

The Twisted Date With My Ex-Wife

I have been sitting here going over the meeting I had with my ex-wife on Saturday and for the life if me could not think of a title to refer to this post. Then it occurred to me, just call it what it is because there is no other explanation. I’ve mentioned it has been easily five years since I have seen my ex in person and at that time the only words spoken were fuck you as we passed by one another in a crowded gymnasium for our daughter’s high school graduation. I guess I wasn’t paying attention to her looks then since I can’t for the life of me remember. That becomes important here in a bit. I was going to give y’all a play by play of the evening, but there would be way too much quoting am I’m feeling lazy tonight. The picture above is important as well, remember that in this relationship with my ex I am always the mongoose.

At a little after 7pm the intercom for the front gate pops up my phone, since I get the video as well I knew exactly who it was, how nice for her I thought, over 2 hours late. Since I was out in my shop I opened the gate, instructing her to park in the drive, and then wait for me because I had to walk back up to the house. A few minutes later the door to the shop opened and there my ex stood. Shaking my head I told her since she couldn’t listen and wait, go ahead and get in the truck so we can head back up to the house. Her only comment to me was how, in her opinion, my shop was kinds messy. Great, thanks for noticing. Being overly polite I asked her if she would like to come in to see the house while I grabbed her package. She didn’t say yes or no, she just got out and started walking to the back door. Whatever. When we came into the kitchen my wife and son were sitting at the bar eating some cherries. The two women gave that look to one another that women do, stating dominance to the other while being grinned back at. I know you people have seen this exchange before. It was the first time these two have ever been this close to one another, like seven feet or so, with very sharp knives in both their reach.

Now, as we walked out the door I noticed something I haven’t even thought to think about since the mid 90s, but the swing of her ass caught my eye. It was strange, very strange. We got into my truck to go eat, discuss her problems with the IRS, and then head back to my housee so she could get the hell on her way. We went to a favorite place if mine, The Texas Roadhouse (I know, how cliche), neither of us ordered alcohol, in fact we both ordered food right away. I had prime rib because we were at a steak house, she ordered a salad, because we were at a steak house. Apparently she no longer eats the flesh of animals, glad I ordered my very bloody rare. She brought up the papers, if she could see them, and I pulled out the document releasing me from any further legal liability. At first she refused, dinner was over, she paid, and we left. There was absolute silence driving back except for the Ozzy I had playing on the radio. We pulled up to the house, I told her goodbye, and I was heading into the house. I almost made it, her pride almost made this whole adventure worth it, but then she called me by my actual name, asking me to wait because she wanted to sign the papers so she could have her copies. Fair enough.

It was done, I went inside to make a copy, and then I went back out. When I handed her everything she purposely let her hand gently touch the back of mine. Then it hit me, bitch you are sting a low life cunt. We were done. I went in and she drove down the driveway. I grabbed my cigarettes and two bottles of water, then went back out to the deck, lit my tikis, and had a seat at the table. The inky thing I was thinking was I was glad the night was over. She will never change, she always believed that she could not fail, perhaps I should introduce myself now. I should have just mailed her shit to her, a day late.oh well, the deed is done and that is that.

My evening ended on a positive note though, my wife came out the back door, walked up to me, put her arms around my neck from behind, kissed me on the cheek, and then slinked over to the hot tub not wearing a stitch. She always knows how to bring a genuine smile to my face. And that, my friends, is where this story ends.

Here’s Proof There Are Insane Fuckers

WTF Are You Fuckers Smoking?

For one short moment last night I was close to just shutting this fucking blog down, throwing in the towel, and let the sheeple fucktards move in to take over. It was a momentary lapse in my own fucking common sense to say the very least. If y’all really must know why I created, maintain, and update this blog, its real simple, because Fuck You, that’s why. I hate the fucking question, “what is the focus or purpose of The Sting Of The Scorpion?” Why? Because its impossible to post one motherfucking thing on any topic and not have 100 crawling up my ass bitching and complaining. Go cry to your fucking momma because I don’t give a flying fuck. I do this blog for “entertainment” mostly, it has never been here to please one group of people or another, ever. Even though I attempt to entertain people here with my sophomoric sarcasm there is also a great deal posted about things going on in my own fucking life, some good & some bad, some humorous & some on the more serious side, some that is relevant to many & some that only will matter to me, but all of it is done because I make time to pull my phone out and make time to keep my blog active with new posts. But nooooooo, I get bashed because I’m a sick twisted fucker who belongs in a straight jacket locked up in a tiny padded room. Well, fuck you, I’m not, I’m here posting whatever in the fuck I choose because that is what I fucking want to do when and how I fucking want to do it. You have choices and one if them is to not to click the link which leads you here. Once you are here you have the choice to leave as well if The Sting Of The Scorpion isn’t your fucking cup of tea. Either way, if you stay or if you leave, The Sting Of The Scorpion will still be here.

So, let’s explore what has your panties all wadded up in your cunt this time. If that just offended you then its because you know I am talking directly to you so you can stop guessing in your head who I am pointing out. Its fucking you! First I would like to address the fucknuggets who, so colorfully, addressed a post I did yesterday about my real life backyard hog invaders. Just because I own guns (yes multiple guns) doesn’t mean I wish to hunt and kill everything that walks this planet. Just because I hunt doesn’t mean I wish to hunt and kill everything on this planet. It does mean, however, that I have options, not that I’m an indiscriminate killer of all the cutesy wutsey creatures which roam in the wild. But then again, some of us call some of those humble creatures fucking dinner, sorry to be the one to inform you, but some if us hunt for our food. However, in that particular post I never mentioned hunting the sow hog pictured, I just want to help move it on along, but I will win one way or another because I have options. Don’t hunt? I really don’t care. Don’t eat meat? I really don’t care. Don’t like guns? I really don’t care. I will protect my family and property against man and beast because that is the kind of person I am. Do I speak for everyfuckingbody? Nope, just for myself. Hogs are dirty destructive beasts who cost property owners allot of freaking money every year. I am happy for those of y’all who live places where there aren’t any invasive vermon threatening who you love and what you own.

Yes, in real life, fuck and variables of the word fuck are my favorite words. Yes, my blog tends to reflect directly on how I speak. Yes, I am a grumpy fucking bastard who is tired of people’s bullshit in real life too, this isn’t some fucked up twisted freak show you are watching here, some of it is my life as well. Yes, I know I have my autocorrecting spell checker off since I am the one who knows what I want to say and how I want to say it. Moving on now I would like to address something, that I was told is holy and sacred, my use of church signs over the last couple of days. Boothefuckhoo if you thought they were in “bad taste” because I thought it was a hilarious idea. Did they get your attention? Mission accomplished. Did you find them personally unique to The Sting Of The Scorpion? Mission accomplished. Did the fact that a person who despises organized religion used a church sign to promote his blog throw you a curve ball? Mission accomplished. Were you fucking offended? Well, that’s all on you, maybe you are too sensitive to be here in the first place. By the way, for those of y’all wondering, sometimes I do think that there needs to be a “complete guide” to The Sting Of The Scorpion because many if y’all just do not have the mental capacity to have an open mind about the life we live or the planet we live on or the societies we are a part of because some people choose to have their eyes and ears shut but have their big fucking mouths open. This blog does not focus on organized religion or politics because there is absolutely no desire to vommit up the vile that everyone seems to already be so in tune with. Yes, I stab at the obviously ignorant shit one sees in the news on occasion, but it isn’t a staple here. No, we probably do not share the opinions I might have about our fellow human beings and that’s okay with me because I think you need to have your own opinions and conclusions on people and life. We are individuals for fucks sake.

Now let’s talk about you slimy fucking spammer bitches. Do you know that I delete 200+ bogus spam bullshit comments every fucking morning? No? You thought you were the only one spamming The Sting Of The Scorpion? Wrong. You idiots don’t get it. This is not a porn site. This is not an international dating site. This is not an anti-gun site. This is not an anti-gay site. This is not a skinhead site. We are not interested in the “legal drugs” you have to offer. We do not have any friends or family members whose benefits we wish to seek laundered out of a third world country and all you need is our banking information to make us millionaires. No, I don’t need hints in vaginal freshness. No, I don’t need the next best thing to Viagra or the no name generic drug which I can buy from Mexico or Canada. No, I do not need help finding Jesus Christ. No, I am not going to vote for you. No, I am not seeking help cleaning up the looks of my website. These are just examples of the regular bullshit that the spammers consider relevant to any given post done here. My favorite tho is the multiple ads I get on the prevention and care for the wounds caused by, wait for it………………..scorpion stings! We don’t advertise here, we don’t do this for fame or money, we are here providing all of this at no cost to the reader, its free.

In the end, read/view/skim The Sting Of The Scorpion for whatever your reasons might be at that given moment. Yes, I know this blog is an acquired taste and not everyone will always be happy about it. Oh well, I don’t really fucking care. Y’all come back for some reason and that is enough for me. Oh, as far as the recommendation that I perform a complete overhaul to reformat this blog, y’all can go to hell because The Sting Of The Scorpion will remain as it is and always has been.

Printing A 3-D Unborn Human Fetus?

Earlier today I was emailed the above picture from a long time friend who always out does herself when trying to shock me with different jaw dropping attempts over the years. She also included a link to read the below article found at the Techtimes website. I provided the text for y’all below but ALL credits go the people at Techtimes. Look for my personal opinions at the end after you are done reading. If you have your own opinions on this topic I am looking forward to reading them. Now, start reading the story.

“Expecting moms often have ultrasound images and videos of their unborn child to keep as fond memory but thanks to 3D printing, parents-to-be now have another pregnancy memorabilia they could spend their money on.

A California-based company called 3D Babies uses 3D printing technology to create a figurine that resembles an unborn baby with all the correct facial features, skin tone and body position- even before he is born. If you’re expecting, you can order one keep for yourself or give to your grown-up kid someday so she’ll get an idea how tiny and cute she was in your womb.

“At 3D Babies, we create an adorable baby figurine resembling your baby’s facial features and body position. We use your 3D/4D ultrasound or newborn baby pictures to create a unique artistic representation of your baby using the latest computer graphics and 3D printing technology,” the company said on its Indiegogo page. “This is a great way to share the excitement of your new baby with family and friends. Your 3D Baby will be a treasured family remembrance of your pregnancy and new baby.”

The figurines are available in three sizes: life-size, which is about 8 inches from crown to rump, half-size (4 inches), and mini (2 inches). “The Lifesize 3D Baby is so called, because a 23-24 week old fetus is about 8 inches from crown to rump,” the company explained.

You also get to select the body position of the figurine depending on whether you want your child’s gender to be visible or not. You choose the figurine’s skin tone as well. “We reproduce the face as shown in your images and select the body position according to your request (gender visible or not). Finally, we use the color you select (light, medium, or dark) to put the finishing touches on your 3D Baby,” the company said. 

Ordering a customized figurine of your unborn child doesn’t come cheap though. The life-size figurine costs $600, the half size, $400 and the mini, $200. 3D Babies tried to raise $15,000 on Indiegogo to purchase a 3D printer that it says would allow it to reduce the price of the services but the company was able to raise only $1,225.”

Now that you read it and have looked up the company, what are you thinking? Here’s what I am thinking. To be honest, I find it disturbing and very unnatural to say the least. I like creepy shit but this is a bit over the top for me. Personally, I can wait for them to be born. I will never forger the moment I held my kids to cut their cords, still covered in muck, and I got the first touch of little humans, that cannot be replaced. Anyway, I just wanted to share what was shared with me because this, by the nature of it, is just weird enough to catch my eye to post here.

Posted From Scorpion Sting’s Motorola Droid Maxx!

Special Kind Of Twisted

Honest…..It’s True!