Sad News For Me This Halloween

Actually, it is both sad and unfortunately not the best news I have ever shared. At the beginning of October I mentioned I was going to be getting my work done to do up my haunted house I do every year for the past ten years without fail. This year it will be quite somber and quiet around here because there will be no grand display of Halloween, I will be stuck living in shadows this year, in all regards, my personal Halloween has been canceled. Why? Its simple economics really, I don’t have the extra money to spend on the extra electricity this year, as in the past the bill after Halloween usually had an increase of around $300. Therefore, based on the current budget restrictions we have as a household, my wife and I, but mostly me, decided to forego the expenses this year. My son recommended we put up donation boxes but I refuse, the haunted house and haunted forest walk have always been free to anyone wanting to have the shit scared out of them. That won’t change. Yes I’m very sad, but I think next year I will be able to have my fun. But right now, just paying bills and doing the grocery shopping all but wipes us out each month. Do not despair and do not weep for me, I had the great fortune of finding meaningful employment, well actually, I was found. In many ways I’m thankful I write on this blog because that is how, in a round about way, I was found. But, that and the job are another tale for another day. Look at it this way, for Halloween this year I get to go roam the neighborhood, and when its over I don’t have much of anything to clean up. It will be a considerable change, but hell people, it will be all good by this time next year. I will continue to post in the Halloween spirit as we count down the days to the greatest day I know, Halloween.

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I Do Really Hate Getting Caught

I do really hate getting caught, especially when what I was doing wasn’t actually wrong or Illegal. But, as it stands, last night I got caught getting my tips from the club last week ready to go to the bank so I could pay some bills today or tomorrow. I will explain the money part of that in a bit because I know someone is going to ask about it. So, yesterday evening all the kids were gone, dinner was on the grill, and I remembered I needed to go to the bank. Now, I don’t keep secrets about money from my wife, she knows I make a decent amount in tips bartending. She knows I also get a paycheck, she knows I’m a 10-99 employee as well which means we save 20% of my earnings to pay Uncle Sam in January. What she has yet to figure out is why a bartender in a full nude strip club is paid what I get paid. But, the money is the reason I am there. I can’t help it I am able to negotiate what my time and services are worth. A while back, when I started back, I agreed to work Wednesday and Thursday nights, roughly 30 hours between the two days, for $1200.00 since I knew I would be paying my own taxes.

Plus, as bartender I keep ALL of my tips, but I also get 5% of the tips to the waitresses, and 1% of the tips from the dancers. Doesn’t sound like much does it? The stack of money on the table represents my tips plus the additional tip outs from the dancers and waitresses. The bundles are $100.00 if you are counting. Since I report and pay taxes on this as well, it all stays well documented. Which, is what I was doing last night when my wife came strolling into the dining room, home early from work. She had a surprised look on her face, like I just showed her a sasquatch body laying on the table after varmint hunting. Needless to say, she wasn’t ever aware that at anytime during the week there is a similar amount of money tucked away in the safe. Then the conversation got ugly. Supposedly I am hiding it from her because she has been unaware. I tried to explain it all goes to our joint checking account, minus what goes to a separate joint savings account for taxes. Still not believing me I had to get my tablet so we could explore the last few months of Wells Fargo deposits. A new bit of information came to light that I was unaware of, she doesn’t pay attention to the account balances. How the hell not? Well, seems that since I have always been the monthly bill payer that I would let her know if there is a problem so she never worried about it.

Yet, I am the one being told I’m hiding money from her. I still can’t wrap my head around it because it seems like a bizarre way of thinking. Then, this morning it hits me, its because I am the man and she is the woman, therefore I am automatically wrong. But, I have a frugal wife, she is not a spend-o-holic, she believes, as I do, that we will want to take trips, pay for college, and still one day retire. So, I have no complaints in that department. No other department either really, perhaps the jumping to conclusions part, but we argue and communicate very well with each other. In the end, we spent a few hours in the hot tub drinking margaritas and not talking about work, money, or our worries. We just sat there butt-ass naked enjoying each other’s company under the partly cloudy sky listening to the hum of the margarita machine churning out the next batch. All and all, after dinner, the hot tub, and the excellent margaritas, we went to bed with smiles on our faces. She mentioned this morning that I’m still an asshole but she still loves me.