Let’s Talk About Some Dumb Luck

Okay, so I have been job hunting, looking for something to actually utilize what I know this time. Yesterday I go to an interview for a job, salary unknown, with a company which actually took an interest in my full resume. Little did I know that when I arrived the interview word get seriously sidetracked to say the least. Instead of discussing the job I actually applied for I was asked many questions about my, now expired, class A CDL. Then, I was told that I would be offered $30.00 an hour along with as many hours of overtime allowed by law at time and a half I could handle. Here’s the kicker, the potential employer wishes to pay everything associated with getting my CDL active. Really? Yes really, and yes I have a written offer explaining the offer.

What’s the catch? Why did I let it expire a year or so ago? Federal laws changed, making it impossible for an insulin dependent diabetic to hold an interstate CDL of any class. Well, at the time I didn’t have a use for it, so I didn’t attempt switching to a non-insulin injectable product. Come to find out, I can renew it, but here’s the catch, it has to have a rrestriction added to it, changing it to an intrastate CDL, meaning it is only good in the state it is issued and cannot be used to go state to state legally. After discussing this with the potential employer today I was pleased to be informed that the restrictions will not change the terms of the offer. Bonus!

So y’all are probably wondering if I accepted the offer yet. That answer is no, I asked to have until Monday to give him my decision. Why? I need to think about it, I need to talk more with my wife, and I don’t want to commit to something on the spot because there are things to consider. Like? The company does not offer benefits of any sort, no medical, dental, vision, 401k, and so forth. Not a particular problem for me, because I’m covered through the VA, but my wife has the very expensive burden of providing coverage for our family, dental and vision only for me,  since I was laid off. As you can see, there are things to consider first. A plus is the money, do the math, that’s grossing over $60k annually plus the overtime. As well, I will be home every night. We just need to figure out if the money outweighs the benefits shortcomings. I guess I will let y’all know in Monday or so.

Say Hellllllo To My Little Friends!

The People And Trees Around Us

The people and trees around us seem to share some things in common. Both are around us yet we know very little about the actual life they have lived. We observe them both grow and age. Trees and people carry on with their life whether we are their to share it or if we have missed out. I know that sounds pretty deep but it is also a really simple truth when one sits down for the comparison. Well then, what’s my point? We will get to that or maybe you might even see what it is by the time I am done here. But let’s start with the tree that has fallen a few months ago out at the far edge of what I mow as part of my yard. Call me lazy but I just haven’t reaaly felt like dealing with this fallen tree because of the work I knew I would be having to do with it. However, as spring is now in full effect where I live in southeast Texas, I know I only have a few more weeks before it is very hot and swampy outside. It won’t be too much longer and we will be flirting with triple digits. Due to the heat I try to accomplish major things outside in our very short cool weather months. So, as I mowed my grass with my brand spanking new John Deere riding mower (the replacement), I drove by this tree which reminded me that there was work to be done. Or,leave it and let the other trees and vines consume it. But I don’t want this to look unkept, a personal choice, so I made the plans to handle it yesterday, Monday, since I have found it is better to plan things into my empty days instead of just throwing caution to the wind. After mowing I made sure my chainsaw was sharpened, my tractor was fueled up, and the burn pile had been knocked down, all in preparation for Monday’s task. I also went ahead and loaded the tractor onto the trailer already connected to my truck so there wouldn’t need to be so much back and forth walking on my part. Sadly, I know this dress all too well with all the old and majestic trees on the property.

Just before first light, just before the first glimpse that day is breaking, before the buttcrack of dawn, I was at the tree unloading my tractor from the trailer. I rearranged the small generator in the back of my truck so it was back on the runner mat, if not it vibrates allover the damn place. I plugged in my 80’s boom box and pushed play. Great news, we will be listening to Ozzy this morning. I cranked it up to max volume so I can hear it over the chainsaw. I am sure Mr. Crowley sounds pretty eerie creeping through the dense trees this early in the morning. Hot damn, chainsaw lit off on the first crank, time to let the wood chips fly! After about about an hour of cutting I begin to feel the warmth of the sun on the backs of my legs so I known I need to get moving so I can get it done. My son, riding the golf cart, came down to tell me he was off to catch the bus. He was a little upset he wasn’t helping me but was very understanding I think. Off he went, back to the house to get his bag so he could go catch his bus. Thankfully he brought down my big plastic mug that I left on the kitchen island, I was dreading having to break momentum to go back to the house. After a few hours I had a garbage pile and the wood I will keep for my outdoor fire pit. Oak is a great wood for these fire pits. I put a little effort into cutting the wood into very manageable pieces. I will split it in a few weeks to let it dry out more. First I need to fix my frankensplitter because it has a nasty hydraulic leak somewhere. Being done cutting, I hooked the chains to the bucket of the tractor so I can drag the bigger branches to the burn pile. Afterwards I loaded all the cut wood I was keeping onto the trailer. Tired now, and its only just shy of noon, I decide to leave everything where it is to go get a bite to eat up at the house. The hard work is done now so there isn’t actually much to do except clean up. I won’t lie, after making myself a toasted smoked turkey sandwich I did end up taking a short nap out on the deck while enjoy the slight breeze. But, nonetheless, I needed to finish. Before heading back down I loaded the crock pot up with chicken and spread the cheesy sauce on it and turned it on, dinner at 6 or so is my guess. Easy peasy done. I walked back down to my truck, loaded up, and the parked it back up alongside my shop. I will unload later, maybe even the next day (being today and it isn’t done yet).

While I waited for everyone to start trickling in from their day I took an ride down to get the mail. Bill, bill, advertising, sale, and something strange with no return address. I hopped back in the cart and headed back to the house. I opened the strange letter first. I skipped to the end to see who it was from, I know, bad habit. After realizing I didn’t know the person I started from the top. It started with a short explanation of how we don’t actually know each other but she knew me because of her mother and because she saw me in 2009 when I met my biological siblings for the first time in South Dakota. Technically she is my niece that I didn’t know I had until reading the letter. Her letter bears bad news, it seems that my biological grandmother has passed, someone I never met, and I am being informed that I was mentioned in the reading of her will. She will not disclose to what degree nor why, but told me to be expecting a package which contained some items belonging to my biological father. Items she had wanted to give me in person but it never happened. My biological father also died before I met him. In fact he had died before I never knew of him. Then the letter was signed with “Love, Gracie”. End of letter. Sadly, I never met the mother of my biological father, but I am sure she lived a very full life.

Which is where we get back to how trees and people share a similar path in life, both go on whether we are there to witness it or not. Both come and go in and out of existence and the is little we can do about it. There are many people I have not met and may never meet on that biological side of my family. Until 7 years ago the ones that have met me never knew I existed and when I dropped in on their lives I am sure it was as shocking as an old oak tree crashing into the living room because of a bad storm. And then in a crash of thunder, all of our lives changed. We questioned most of what we knew, and we embraced the changes that were coming whether we wanted them or not. I will wait for my package, impatient of course, because that is the way I get sometimes. So, this is where it ends today, with me waiting for my mystery package.

Postal Customer Fucktard

We all know I do allot on eBay either buying or selling which involves me making a trip to the local post office at least once a week to mail out packages. This post office has had the same business hours for as long as I can remember but that never seems to please the impatient I’ll tempered big mouths who make the choice to be a bitchy fucktard. Y’all know her, she is the one pacing in line like a nervous first time mother cat. Each moment that passes one can hear her claws digging into the flooring through her flip flops. Why? Because in eyes, in her tiny little mind, her time is more valuable than anyone else’s time. Fuck you, cunt, wait in line like the rest of us peons. According to the clock on the wall it was 8:58 when the steel roll up door started moving, signaling to us in line that the postal employees were about to begin with the first customers in line. This morning there were two lines, the one I was four deep in that the people were buying something or shipping something and the other line which was for picking up packages and bulk mail which is where the twitchy big mouth bitch was standing, she was sixth in her line. She saw a problem, three people doing the outbound line and nobody tending to her line. The USPS employee closest to her was now hearing about it. Every single person in the post office could see and hear this very polite employee trying to get the lady to just push the button for the service bell. The bitch wouldn’t have nothing to do with it, yelling now, annoyed for some stupid reason, she demanded the employee’s name and to have her supervisor appear at once or “the shit was going to hit the fan” because she doesn’t have time to speak with somebody so low on the totem pole.

As fate would have it, I’m next to be called up, lucky me I get the poor employee who was getting all the verbal abuse, which is funny because she is still behind one person. In reality, both lines were actually moving quite swiftly in my opinion as it was only 5 minutes after 9 now. I was mailing 7 small flat rate boxes to 7 different states so mine might take a few minutes. Then the hitch is next in her line. The first thing out of mouth was that she had a big problem with the black woman with a mouth that won’t quit. The black woman being the employee assisting me at the moment. When he wouldn’t repremand the other employee on the spot she started in on her once again. Verbal abuse, racial slurs, postal innuendos, and even took a jab at her weight. Meanwhile, with a rather large smile, she continued to process my packages, only 2 more to go. Then, out of the blue, my bullshitometer had peaked and I found myself turning to the loud mouth bitch and asking her sternly if she “wouldn’t mind shutting her fucking pie hole for the remainder of my timenim the post office” and then it was on. Here we go, fist fight in the post office! Blah blah blah blah was all I heard at that moment, she demanded my name and that I be thrown out because of how I spoke to her. When she was denied by me and the supervisor, she informed us she was calling the police. A quiet voice a few people back in line spoke up and said “don’t bother, I called them a few minutes ago when you kept on verbally attacking everyone”. For thirty seconds she was silent and then was on her phone talking to husband I assume yelling and cussimg loudly so everyone could hear and brought up that I verbally abused her. Well, now I am done at the window, and I turn to leave, stopping briefly in front of her, and told her while I took her phone out of her freshly manicured claws ” that she was done here, right now, she needed to get the fuck out of everyone’s face and out of the post office before I was forced to assist her”.

She left, I watched her get into her little Mercedes convertible and speed away. I handed her phone to the supervisor and apologized for my own behavior. I left my name and number in case it was needed for later. He reached out and shook my hand and told me he is damn glad that her performance, both audio and visual in color, had been recorded for review. Then I left as well because my business was complete at the post office. Did the police ever show up? Not while I was there. Did she retrieve her cell phone from the post office supervisor? I don’t know and really don’t care. Why do dumb cunts act like the world revolves around them? How anal can one person really be? I really don’t like people like her because she is a bitch just to be a bitch. In reality, I should have kept my mouth shut because I probably could have gotten in some deep shit, but I didn’t, and to tell y’all the truth I really don’t regret it at all. There was no point in what she was doing, what she was saying, or how she was treating the innocent postal employee. The deep dark side of me hopes she had a terrible accident after she left. Which is wrong, I know. I do, however, wish those two women to meet once again somewhere else because I promise you the postal employee can take her in no time flat.

This is a perfect example of why I don’t go out in public much, stupid fucktards really irritate me for some reason. The older I get the harder it has become to self police and keep my big trap shut when needed. Some people just suck, and like this lady, she has made it in to a fine art. There is no reason possible to need to treat people the way we all saw. It is a want, it is a desire, and she wants the attention to focus on her. I have pity for her husband and kids if she has any. I bet their life is just one fuckednup bundle of blissful madness. So, writing this helped me work through my morning. I was a little pissed earlier today but now that I am done writing about it I feel much better. I have said it in the past, this blog is my therapy, because talking out loud to myself has always proved to only scare the people who see it. Lesson of the day, don’t be a royal bitch just because you can, make the choice to keep your mouth closed occasionally. Most of all, treat people like you want to be treated. That’s it, I solved my own puzzle, she must get spoken to as she speaks to others, perhaps at home, so she just let’s whoever the next unlucky person be the point of all of the anger. Also, this is why I am not a therapist, because I wouldn’t be able to refrain from keeping my mouth shut to the whiny self centered fucktards on the planet. Oh well, I will just keep on being unemployed for now, seems to be working wondrous for my nerves and keeping my blood pressure down low. Anyway, thanks for dropping by and giving my ol’ blog an look see, I really appeciate everyone who visits.

The Message Is Already Lost

Bring On My Minion Friends!

White Fudge Oreos, Just Genius!

I have written here before about my “secret” addiction to most things that involve the Oreo cookie. However, no matter the flavor or combination I have always, and I mean always, been a super big fan of the original Oreo. However, my mind was just changed permanently as I just tried the new “Limited Edition” White Fudge Covered Oreo. If you have not tried these cookies yet then you are missing pure bliss in your mouth. I recommend you stop whatever you are doing, stop reading this post, get in your car and do not stop until you are at the store. Enter that store with a mission and find the aisle with the cookies pictured and buy the ALL. Do not leave one package on the shelf, do not leave any for anyone, buy them all for yourself. You wont be disappointed I promise. Don’t like Oreo cookies? Too damn bad, go buy these cookies, take one bite, then return to the place of purchase and buy all the rest of the packages. Why? Let me explain a little bit about the laws of supply and demand. Since this is a limited edition cookie that means it won’t be for sale for very long. But, if we buy all the ones that are for sale right now then stores will notice the demand and request that more be produced and shipped out for sale. So, what in the hell are you still doing reading this post, go and get yourself these cookies. NOW! Then, come back here and report your enjoyment.

Now that you have returned from buying ALL the packages that were on the shelf you should be feeling pretty good about your accomplishment. You have now found out how fantastic these cookies really are for yourself. You are now patting yourself on the back for a job well done. Now we can sit back and wait for the next shipment of White Fudge Covered Oreo Cookies while we munch on our limited supply of White Fudge Covered Oreo Cookies. We better go to a different store and then a different one and then repeat. No, there is not a better way, my way is the best way! This is probably the most fanfuckingtastic cookie I have ever let cross my lips.

The Secret Part-Time Job

I have been trying to get a friend of mine to give me permission to tell the story about her secret part-time job that she had for six years or so. She fought me for the most part over the years, begging me not to ever mention anything about any of it because she didn’t want it to ever come back and bite her in the ass. A couple of days ago I got a phone call out of the blue from a number I didn’t recognize so I sent it straight to the voicemail. After a few moments I got a notification that I had a new voice mail. I went ahead and listened to it because I do have stuff for sale on Craigslist so it could be an inquiry. I was shocked, it was my friend I haven’t spoken with in about two years. She informed me this was her new number and that she was living in the Houston area now. She wanted me to call her so maybe we could get together and chat a bit. I returned her call because I was curious why she had called me and why in the hell she moved to Houston. And, how in the hell did she get my phone number. Amazingly enough she still had the voice of an angel, very pleasant to listen to, no matter what she was saying to you. So, after about a 30 minute conversation we decided of talking we decided to meet on this past Sunday. She hadn’t changed much since I had seen her last which was about seven years ago.

The jist of it all was she was looking to start a new life now that she was out of the Army. She was in the Army for 17 years and finally got fed up with it. She had never gotten married because her “schedule”, in her opinion, would not have been good for a marriage. She did mention that she never had a hard time finding no strings attached relationships. I can only imagine why. Well, that’s not true, but not how y’all are thinking, but we will get into that in a bit. Why choose Houston? She has no family here and as far as I know I am her only friend. not really, she knows other people here, but no real friends, no one she has a “history” with to speak of. She used a part of her retirement bonus to buy a nice house south of Houston on a couple of acres of land. She had heard through the grapevine that I had a few connections at the club I used to bartend at and wanted me to share them with her. Share? I don’t share. I don’t refer. I don’t recommend. Well, that is how it was when I worked there because I never wanted to get the stink eye if I recommended someone and they didn’t work out well. I figured what the hell, I don’t work there anymore what can it hurt to make a phone call. She was interested in being a waitress. Really? I never expected that from her because now at age 40 I think she could show those young ones a thing or two stripping. But, then again, that is just my own opinion, of course. Jokingly I asked what was in it for me and I got asked what I wanted for the favor. So, I told her that if I could get her an interview that she had to tell me, in detail, beyond what I already knew, about he secret part-time job she had while she was in the Army. After an awfully long sigh, her rolling her eyes, and a giggle, she decided she would tell me about it. She figures that now, even if certain people could put two and two together that it couldn’t effect her life now, not that it was something illegal, just the military, in general, frowns upon moonlighting. Plus, her part-time job could be deemed as being of the sexual nature type. When I asked how she got my phone number she just said she had her ways. By having her ways means that she went to the club, laid a sob story on someone I knew pretty well, and they gave me up, as well as pointing them to my blog and Facebook to check on me if she wanted to. Really? Damn.

Before we ended our conversations I made my phone call. I arranged for an interview. She spoke to my ex-boss and everything is set. My turn now. When do I get what I want? She said that the story would be too long to just sit and tell, just let her write me an e-mail over the next few days and I can go forward from there if I choose to. It has been a long couple of days and frankly I didn’t think I would ever get her story. I was way off the mark on that assumption because she did e-mail me, she did give a great story, and she did want me to grant her anonymity in the ways of changing her name, locations, and so forth. Easy enough, that’s what I do. As you can see, I did have permission to state the simple facts that she is now 40 and she recently retired from the Army, so from this point forward all y’all know is that we know each other personally. The fortunate and unfortunate part about this entire story is it is a bit lengthy but I have trimmed the “fat” off here and there. She approves of the rough draft so I suppose I am ready to roll. I left out most of the background stuff and will just jump in feet first landing with the idea, conception, planning, and the birth of her secret part-time job.

In her early 30’s Grace was still going strong in the Army, she was gaining rank at the expected pace, and she was expecting to make this the only career she knew. As a female officer in the Army she always struggled with actually looking like a woman. Eventhough she did her best to look great in BDUs (Battle Dress Uniform — camouflage uniform to make it simple), she always wanted to show just a little bit of skin, she has always been a little tease, it’s just who she is. There came a point where money became an issue and she found herself getting the odd part-time job which never lasted because she would deploy to different places all the time. Her job kept her traveling all the time, but when she was here or there she would always have spare time, but her schedule rarely fit the schedule of potential employers. Grace and a few of her girlfriends were out at the bar one night, talking about the money issues and what each of them had tried. Grace, at that point, realized that she had the perfect idea and they could all work from “home” and make some decent money. She explained her solution to her friends and was shocked that they all were very excited because it seemed like easy money. Are you asking yourselves what it could be yet? Just wait, it’s coming.

Grace considered the fact that many people were just like her, that had their smart phones, tablets, and laptops, which they use to stay connected to the outside world. She wanted to use this to her advantage and she wanted to make money while she did it. With zero experience in “marketing” Grace and her friends had to hope that what they were creating would be search friendly. After a little business planning, pricing what their time is worth, and a little psychological preparation, they figured they were ready to launch. On the first night, each of the six women got ready to flip their “on-line now” switch and open up for business. Each one of the six women waited patiently to see what would happen and who would stop by. The bigger question was would anybody even stop in to see them or would anyone even stumble upon their website as it was suspected they would. After about 30 minutes Grace received notification that the first person had entered her virtual room and had a valid credit card to process transactions. It was now time for game on. After a few moments she began typing to introduce herself and what they had to offer. The person on the other end began to chat back, they discussed show pricing, duration, and content. Within about another 30 minutes their activity has grown to over 100 people wanting to see what they could see. The women offered four membership packages or membership subscriptions from which visitors could choose. They wanted to keep everything “pre-paid” and from the start they got exactly what they wanted. The package subscriptions were as follows. The “Hourly Subscription” was $25.00 for 30 minutes of group chat and show. Private shows spurred off at an additional price of $25.00 for each five minutes. The “Silver Subscription” was $100.00 for four hours of time which had to be used in 30 days from time of purchase and the private shows were offered at the per 5 minute rate. The “Gold Subscription” was $250.00 for ten hours of time which had to be used in 30 days from time of purchase and the private shows were offered at the per 5 minute rate. The “Platinum Subscription” was $500.00 for 30 hours of time which had to be used in 30 days from time of purchase and a person had 20 “free” five-minute shows to be used within the 30 day subscription period. All subscriptions, with the exception of the hourly subscription, automatically re-billed every 30 days for the customer’s convenience.

Grace recalls the first night, collectively between all six women, they had 329 visitors. 194 of them went straight for the Platinum subscription package, 39 did the Gold package, 64 went for the Silver package, and the remaining 32 did the hourly. If you have been following with a calculator you will have noticed that the very first night they went live the grossed well over one hundred grand. She explains that after “hosting” cost were deducted that each one of the six women would make just under $17,000.00 based on one night’s subscriptions. This was just the beginning, before long, by the end of the first month, they invited a few more women (all stay at home moms or single) to make them a team 15 strong. They could now operate 24/7/365 with no down time. Are you wondering why “chat” is so expensive yet? It’s special. This is chat with benefits and a happy ending. Some of y’all know what I’m talking about and for the rest I will explain. They all start off in fully clothed chat mode. Then, when the money begins to flow they begin the “tease”, showing a little skin here and there. The more money, the more skin, until one or more people throw down the “cash” for a private chat show. Most of the time it is “user” controlled as to what happens, the women fulfill requests including fetishes all the way to the out right bizarre. Grace never confirmed or denied the use of farm animals so that part is still a bit fuzzy and unclear.

If y’all are asking how I know Grace I can put all of your inclinations straight to rest because I never saw a show. Now, I did know her while she was active duty and I was fulfilling my active guard commitment for the Air Force. For some reason we did become friends, we did drink together, and she always eluded that she had a “hobby-job” that one day she would let me in on. She left me hang just like that for a considerable amount of time. But, now that I look back in reflection I can believe it. Since she spilled the beans and really provided me with any proof except her word, she did provide me with contact information for three of the other original woman, two of which confirmed her story, and one which has yet to return my call. I was also provided with a couple of screenshots of her performing private chat so I’m convinced I suppose. All in all, I was really surprised, but then again I never really knew what to expect with her confession. If I had to take a wag (wild ass guess) at it I would have said she did the adult toy parties for the Army wives. Makes me think that the increase in personal revenue might have been the reason she retired early from the Army. Just a thought that cannot be confirmed or denied unfortunately.

***Top picture (tank crossing) provided from Grace, no location given. The bottom picture was obtained through a Google search.***

The Only Way To Fix It

Do What?