Please Don’t Forget Your Receipt

Do Yourself And The World Giant Favor

Just pull your fucking pants up so we don’t have to see your ass.. I’m not talking about those of you who just need a belt, I am talking to those of you who can’t seem to get your pants pulled up past your knees. Yes, you, I am talking to you. Normally I find seeing some dumb fucktard with his pants around his knees very humorous, I might even giggle out loud where I can be heard, but nonetheless I find humor in your failure to wear your clothes in a proper manner while in public. Bit who am I, I am not the fashion police, I just have a little common sense when dressing myself and try very hard not to let the family jewels swing out in public. Why? Because I give a shit about what I look like when I walk out my front door, even if I am going to Walmart. Well, Scorp,what are you trying to get across here? My point is that nobody, and I mean nobody, wants to see your pants down at your knees, ever. A simple, yet often overlooked, point in our society. I don’t know how it is where you live but it is a common sight to see in the youth and young adults around here. What brings all of this up?  Hold your pants up people I am getting to that right now.

Earlier today I was visiting a local flea market to kill some time and to see if I could buy something that could raise an eyebrow on my wife’s face. I don’t always get things that impress her if you must know, so now we have this little inside joke about it when I go out alone. As I meandered around the market I saw the good, the bad, and the ugly, sometimes all rolled up in one thing. Not much really tickled my tail feathers so I moved about in a quicker fashion than normal, I wasn’t hunting, I was fishing, but without a real and direct purpose. Then, out of the corner of my squintly little eye I see this jackass giving a shop owner some grief. Allot of yelling and cussing on his part as he tried to make his point. But let’s back up a bit, let’s give you a chance to see what I was seeing. The shop sold leather goods of all sorts, western style furniture, and some western style antiques. The shop owner, looking 50ish, appears to be of Korean descent but I could be wrong because everything I heard heard her say out loud was in English with no real discernible accent. The man, late teens to early twenties, was white, and dressed like an early eighties gang banger flaunting his “colors” everywhere possible. Crisp white wife beater tank top, dark color boxer shorts, and nylon jogging pants with the waistband straddling his knees. When I say he was white, I mean dayglow vampire he never sees daylight white. He hurt my sensitive eyes when I looked at him and there was a glare, like that glare that comes when the sun hits the windshield of my truck in late afternoon, yes, he was that white. After I got nosey and started listening in I was struck to find out that she was refusing to let him come inside unless he pulled his pants up. He demanded it is a free country he lives in and he has the right to come and go as he pleases without being harassed by some old bitch selling country shit nobody buys. The question in my head was wanting to ask then why do you want to go in. Why? Form this very reason, to be able to make a scene or his need to be seen being the scene, whichever.

Normally I would keep my big fat mouth closed and laugh at this ass clown on the inside. However, my fucktard detector was pegging out and I really wanted to go into that little shop. So I approached, I spoke very clearly when I told him “excuse me, I would like to get by you so I may go in the store”. His return reply was ” hey cracker, go fuck yourself somewhere else ’cause I’m about to lite this bitch right here on flames”. Ummmmm? So I became a wee bit more aggressive and explained (while showing him my very impressive .50 cal Desert Eagle twins) that him leaving would be the best choice he had made all day. I think I scared him, because I looked down below the thugs fleets and saw he was standing in a puddle that wasn’t there moments ago. I cannot confirm or deny where the puddle came from but it wasn’t raining and nothing was spilled. A few other like minded people stepped up, grabbed him rather roughly, and helped him on his way expeditiously. Man, I love it when bikers jump into a fight! Bikers don’t fuck around when there are ass whippings to have. Unless, they are like doctor or lawyer weekend lawyers, then they are worried about their nails and their own fashion. Pussies. Wannabes. Anyway, it ended with out incident. OK, the punk kid was right, she was selling overpriced reproductions and knock offs that really was cheap shit, even by my standards.

The moral of the story boys and girls is to just pull your fucking pants up so the waistband is around your fucking waist. Its not rocket science,I am not asking you to provide me with tangible evidence that sasquach exists, I don’t need to know how the whole jackalope thing got started, just pull up your fucking pants. It isfor your safety and for ours. So, suck it up princess, bend over and pull up your pants. On a serious note, no thugs were hurt in my immediate vicinity that was visible to me. By the way, some woman was stupid enough to stick her finger in the puddle and return a sample to her nose, her expert opinion was that it was piss. Bonus. And for the rest of y’all, never stick your finger in an unknown puddle to smell or taste. Ewww, its just not smart in any way, at all, and really disgusting as well. So, did I buy anything? Yes, a full on ice cream in one of them there sugary waffle cones. It was vanilla, no topping, no frills, and no sprinkles. And the dicey cold sugary greatness was divine. First full flavor with sugar ice cream I have had in 2 years and it was fucking outstanding Private Pyle!

U.S. Department of Common Sense?

Dealing With Difficult People In Your Life

I have spent a considerable amount of time, which I sort of consider to be wasted time now, either dealing with difficult people or wondering what is the best way(s) to actually deal with the difficult people I encounter in my daily life. I have spent much quality time being a “people watcher” for many reasons. No, I do not have aspirations of being a great “people whisperer” but I have found that observation and silence are tools that give proven results in my life. Maybe you experience them as well. First, I had to be able to recognize the different kinds of difficult people. Second, I had to develop questions to ask myself about how I wanted to best deal with the difficult people I have in my life. Third, I had to learn different strategies to help me interact with the difficult people in my life. So, I was reading some things I wrote over time which have really been just “notes to self”. I started writing my questions, methods, answers, and strategies down back when I was in the Air Force since I learned that just because I perceived a person as difficult didn’t actually mean that person was difficult. These observations have grown year to year, job to job, marriage to marriage, and as I have aged or matured. So lets begin.

Do you recognize any of these 9 types of people?

• The Know-It-Alls – They are the arrogant and always have an opinion on every single subject. When they are wrong they get very defensive.
• The Passives – These are the people who never have an opinion and never offer a clue to where they stand.
• The Dictators – These people are constantly demanding and are overly brutally critical of others. They enjoy being the intimidating bully.
• The “Yes” People – These people will agree to everything and rarely follow through with any commitment they make. You learn fast that you cannot trust them.
• The “No” People – These are the inflexible people who are very quick to point out why something is wrong and show negativity towards making something work,
• The Gripers – They prefer complaining instead of finding solution because nothing is ever “right” for them to begin with.
• The Extremely Religious – This person has an extreme and unconditional approach with life and people. These are the people who fear their God(s) in such a way they feel they must spread the fear with every word they speak to anyone that will listen.
• The Bullshitter – They are the habitual liars who are habitually undependable in every aspect of their own being.
• The Fucktard – This is an extraordinarily stupid individual who is so willing to disregard all common sense. They are obviously oblivious to everything about everything in every way. This is a person of unbelievable, inexcusable and indescribable stupidity.

Now, I know damn well you recognize each and every one of the people listed above. I know, also, that this is a pretty short list, more “types” can be added of course, as well as sub-categorized. Being able to notice people is the key. These are the people you live with, work with, rely on, and communicate with on a daily basis. Once you recognize what kind of person they are you can develop a strategy to quickly, confidently, and effectively deal with every kind of difficult person. It’s actually easier than it sounds.

Ask yourself the following 20 questions:

1. Do you want to be able to understand the difficult people in your life?
2. Do you want to learn how they think, what they fear, and why they do what they do?
3. Do you want the ability to understand how to make dealing with them less frustrating?
4. Would you like to know specifically what to do and say in every difficult situation?
5. Would you like to be less of a target for the difficult people in your life?
6. Would you like to be able to derail difficult people and teach them to treat you with respect?
7. Do you want to bring out the best or worst in people?
8. Did you know that difficult people are not difficult people all the time?
9. Do you want to know what makes a difficult person tick?
10. Do you want to know why complainers are complaining?
11. Would you like to know how to get people to keep their word to you?
12. Would you like to be able to respond to those who practice one-upmanship?
13. Want to react better when you are being yelled at?
14. Is it possible to be in sync with a difficult person and get along?
15. Do you wish you reacted better when you are criticized unfairly?
16. Do you know when to back down or to hold your ground?
17. What do you do with excuse makers and blamers in your life?
18. Do you wish people didn’t or couldn’t push your “buttons”?
19. Can you give an aggressive person an alternative direction to the aggression and conflict?
20. Did you know that specific “body language” is a more powerful tool than actual words.

In the end I think everyone gets tired of over-blown promises that turn out to just be an empty bucket. You can take control. You can be in charge. You can own what you think and break out of the bad habits that you have created or that have been created by others. Are you one of the 9 types of people I listed? Oddly enough most people are a collective of many types based on the people that surround them. Over time your actions, voice, and personality will become contagious to those who are around you. Toxic people become less of a threat once you understand what makes them the way they are. There are many factors to understanding others and most often begins with understanding oneself first. It is hard to heal a wound that cannot be seen. Now, I know you are waiting for the “punch-line” or the “answer” and unfortunately I don’t have either to offer. I can, however, offer unsolicited advice which shows that tact and skill in handling difficult people become very enviable traits in a person. Changing your ways will be something that is noticed immediately and at that point you have balanced the playing field. Once you realize your own person power over difficult people your confidence in any situation will become one of your best traits. If you take nothing more away from this information just remember to just smile at a difficult person because it will throw them off guard because they will spend endless amounts of time wondering why you are smiling at them. Meanwhile they tend to forget why they were being difficult and often dismiss themselves from the conversation or situation. Personally, I know I can defuse any difficult person by doing two simple things, being silent and smiling. It works.

Grab Your Cape

I Wish