This Just Makes Me Smile

Still Dancing With My Demons

I have found that information is the best way to educate my mind when I’m left with unanswered questions. Today is no different, actually Thursday was no different, as it was Thursday, yes that I had yet another bomb dropped in my lap by my friendly VA doctors. It was good news to hear that there is now a solution, but bad news because of what the solution involves when it comes to the repair and pain relief in my knee. Anyone who visits this blog regularly over the last several years will have read about my knee, my challenges with the VA, playing the waiting game, and in many ways, dancing with my demons, or at least entertaining them on a dark rainy night.

I really was blindsided as I was led to believe that I merely had ligament problems once again, but no, these two doctors took a very blunt and honest approach with me, thank you, and explained and showed me just how fucked my knee really is. First of all, bone to bone contact because of deterioration of the cartilage is a rather challenging pain to explain. As well, that same space being approximately 100% covered with arthritis. I’ve always said ignorance is bliss because it allows one to disconnect from something and become very indifferent to ones grief. So be it, not everyone has had a broken knee to include broken femur in two places, broken tibia, destroyed ligaments and muscles, and so forth. I get the precious innocence of ignorance to my personal hell. I give these doctors credit, it was like they were in my head reading my thoughts and knowing my daily challenges. It was cool but also some freaky voodoo shit was going down too, I think. It was almost nice hearing my own personal words coming out of someone else’s mouth right there in person. Anyway, below is the best description I could find about the corrective surgery. I have spent the last two days reading, trust me, but I think this might just be my answer. However, I will put this out there for y’all, if you know a better answer, please pass it on. So, here it is.

Originally written here.

Knee osteotomy is commonly used to realign your knee structure if you have arthritic damage on only one side of your knee. The goal is to shift your body weight off the damaged area to the other side of your knee, where the cartilage is still healthy. When surgeons remove a wedge of your shinbone from underneath the healthy side of your knee, the shinbone and thighbone can bend away from the damaged cartilage.

Imagine the hinges on a door. When the door is shut, the hinges are flush against the wall. As the door swings open, one side of the door remains pressed against the wall as space opens up on the other side. Removing just a small wedge of bone can “swing” your knee open, pressing the healthy tissue together as space opens up between the thighbone and shinbone on the damaged side so that the arthritic surfaces do not rub against each other.

Osteotomy is also used as an alternative treatment to total knee replacement in younger and active patients. Because prosthetic knees may wear out over time, an osteotomy procedure can enable younger, active osteoarthritis patients to continue using the healthy portion of their knee. The procedure can delay the need for a total knee replacement for up to ten years.

Surgery

Depending on where osteoarthritis has damaged your cartilage, an osteotomy removes a wedge of bone from different areas of your shinbone. The most common type of osteotomy performed on arthritic knees is a high tibial osteotomy, which addresses cartilage damage on the inside (medial) portion of your knee.

The following surgery section provides details about the high tibial osteotomy procedure that apply in general to most other osteotomy procedures. The procedure usually takes one to one-and-a-half hours to perform.

During a high tibial osteotomy, surgeons remove a wedge of bone from the outside of your knee, which causes your leg to bend slightly inward. It is like realigning a bowlegged knee to a knock-kneed position. Your weight is transferred to the outside (lateral) portion of your knee where the cartilage is still healthy.

Surgery
After anesthesia is administered, which may be regional, or general, the surgical team sterilizes the leg with antibacterial solution.Surgeons map out the exact size of the bone wedge they will remove, either using an X-ray, CT scan, or 3D computer modeling.A four- to five-inch incision is made down the front and outside of your knee, starting below the kneecap and extending below the top of your shinbone.Guide wires are drilled into the top of your shinbone (tibia plateau) from the outside (lateral side) of your knee. The wires usually outline a triangle form in your shinbone.A standard oscillating saw is run along the guide wires, removing most of the bone wedge from underneath the outside of your knee, below the healthy cartilage. The cartilage surface on the top of the outside (lateral side) of your shinbone is left intact.The top of your shinbone is then lowered on the outside and attached with surgical staples or screws, depending on the size of the wedge that was removed.The layers of tissue in your knee are stitched together, usually with absorbable sutures.

Day Of Surgery

At most medical centers, you will go to “patient admissions” to check in for your outpatient arthroscopic surgery.

After you have checked in to the hospital or clinic, you will go to a holding area where the final preparations are made. The paperwork is completed and your knee area may be shaved (this is not always necessary). You will wear a hospital gown and remove all of your jewelry.

You will meet the anesthesiologist or anesthetist (a nurse who has done graduate training to provide anesthesia under the supervision of an anesthesiologist). Then, you will walk or ride on a stretcher to the operating room. Most patients are not sedated until they go into the operating room.

Here are some important steps to remember for the day of your surgery:You will probably be told not to eat or drink anything after midnight on the night before your surgery. This will reduce the risk of vomiting while you are under general anesthesia.Wear a loose pair of shorts or sweatpants that will fit comfortably over your knee bandage when you leave the hospital.Take it easy. Keeping a good frame of mind can help ease any nerves or anxiety about undergoing surgery. Distractions such as reading, watching television, chatting with visitors, or talking on the telephone can also help.

Recovery Room

Following a knee osteotomy, you usually stay in the recovery room for at least two hours while the anesthetic wears off.

This procedure typically causes significant pain. You will be given adequate pain medicine, either orally or through an IV (intravenous) line, as well as instructions for what to do over the next couple of days.

Your knee will be bandaged and may have ice on it. You may have significant pain early on and you should take the pain medicine as directed. Remember that it is easier to keep pain suppressed than it is to treat pain once it becomes present, so ask the nurse for medication when you feel pain coming on.

You should try to move your feet and ankles while you are in the recovery room to improve circulation.

Your temperature, blood pressure, and heart rate will be monitored by a nurse, who, with the assistance of the doctor, will determine when you are ready to leave the hospital or, if necessary, be admitted for an overnight stay. Most patients remain in the hospital for two to four days following an osteotomy.

Post-Op In Hospital

After knee osteotomy, you usually are taken to a hospital room where nurses, anesthesiologists, and physicians can regularly monitor your recovery. Most patients spend two to four days recovering in the hospital.

As soon as possible after surgery is completed, you will begin doing continuous passive motion exercises while in bed. Your leg will be flexed and extended to keep the knee joint from becoming stiff.

This may be done using a continuous passive motion (CPM) machine. The CPM is attached to your bed and then your leg is placed in it. When turned on, it takes your leg through a continuous range of motion.

There will likely be pain, and you can expect to be given pain medication as needed. Ice also helps control pain and swelling.

For two or three days after surgery, you may experience night sweats and a fever of up to 101. Your physician may suggest acetaminophen, coughing, and deep breathing to get over this. This is common and should not alarm you. The incision usually starts to close within six days and the bandage can be removed. Physicians commonly fit you with a knee brace that may allow a limited range of movement and helps push your knee into the correct position. For a high tibial osteotomy, the knee brace pushes your knee inward, making you slightly more knock-kneed. Please note that some surgeons will cast your knee for 4 to 6 weeks to ensure that the osteotemy heals.

You may be able to put some weight on your knee, but physicians usually prescribe crutches for at least six weeks. You will be given a prescription for pain medication and usually schedule a follow-up visit sometime around six weeks after surgery.

Rehabilitation

Most patients can begin physical therapy around six to eight weeks after surgery. Unlike other surgical treatments for arthritis, osteotomy relies on bone healing before more vigorous, weight bearing exercises in the gym can begin. In the best scenario, people respond to strengthening exercises and stop wearing the brace after the first three to six months of therapy.

Light exercise is one of the most effective ways to relieve arthritis pain by stimulating circulation and strengthening the muscles, ligaments, and tendons around your knee. Strong muscles take pressure off the bones so there is less grinding in the knee joint during activities. In conjunction with a healthy diet, exercise can also help you lose weight, which takes stress off your arthritic knee.

Stretching

In the first few weeks of rehabilitation, your physical therapist usually helps you stretch the muscles in the hamstrings, quadriceps, and calves while flexing and extending your knee to restore a full, pain-free range of motion.

Aerobic Exercise

When pain has decreased, physicians generally recommend at least 30 minutes a day of low-impact exercise a day for patients with arthritis. You should try to cut back on activities that put a pounding on your knees, like running and strenuous weight lifting.

Cross-training exercise programs are commonly prescribed when you have arthritis. Depending on your preferences, your workouts may vary each day between cycling, cross-country skiing machines, elliptical training machines, swimming, and other low-impact cardiovascular exercises. Walking is usually better for arthritic knees than running, and many patients prefer swimming in a warm pool, which takes your body weight off your knees and makes movement easier.

Strengthening

Strength training usually focuses on moving light weights through a complete, controlled range of motion. You should generally avoid trying to lift as much as possible with your quadriceps and hamstrings. Your physical therapist typically teaches you to move slowly through the entire movement, like bending and straightening your knee, with enough resistance to work your muscles without stressing the bones in your knee.

Once your physical therapist has taught you a proper exercise program, it is important to find time each day to perform the prescribed exercises.

Recovery at Home

You will likely feel pain or discomfort for the first week at home after an osteotomy, and you will be given a combination of pain medications as needed. A prescription-strength painkiller is usually prescribed and should be taken as directed on the bottle.

Swelling in your leg usually decreases over a span of three to six months after surgery. There may be some minor bleeding for a few days, but by the time you are released from the hospital, most bleeding should have stopped. If you notice an increase in swelling or bleeding, you should call your physician.

Physicians generally recommend that you avoid putting stress on your knee until the bones have healed. Putting weight on your knee too early may damage the bone surface and prolong healing time.

Here is what you can expect and how you can cope after an osteotomy:Icing your knee for 20 or 30 minutes a few times a day during the first week after an osteotomy will help reduce pain. Ice therapy may need to intermittently continue for a few months if pain bothers you.As much as possible, you should keep your knee elevated above heart level to reduce swelling and pain. It often helps to sleep with pillows under your ankle.Immobilize your knee in the prescribed, hinged knee brace for about six weeks. You may remove the brace for brief periods to perform passive motion exercises with the aid of a physical therapist or a CPM machine. Range of motion exercises are important for healing. Regaining full extension is just as important as bending your knee.Your leg may appear slightly bent after the surgery as it heals into its new alignment.Most patients have to keep the incision dry for seven to ten days. Your physician can recommend a surgical supply store that sells plastic shower bags. Wait until you can stand comfortably for 10 or 15 minutes at a time before you take a shower.Crutches or a cane may be needed for between six and ten weeks, depending on the pain. It is difficult to describe the amount of pain any given patient will experience.Six weeks after surgery, your physician usually gives you a check-up. X-rays can determine how your bones are healing and whether you are ready to begin rehabilitation.You may have to take between six weeks and six months off from work, depending on how much you rely on your knee to perform your job.

Prevention

After rehabilitation, preventing osteoarthritis is a process of slowing the progression and spread of the disease. Because patients remain at risk for continued pain in their knees after treatment, it is important they are proactive about managing their conditions.

A fall or torque to the leg during the first two months after surgery may jeopardize the healing of your bones. You should exercise extreme caution during all activities, including walking, until your physician determines that your bones have healed.

Maintaining aerobic cardiovascular fitness has been an effective method for preventing the progression of osteoarthritis. Light, daily exercise is much better for an arthritic knee than occasional, heavy exercise.

When you have arthritis in your knees, it is especially important to avoid suffering any serious knee injuries, like torn ligaments or fractured bones, because arthritis can complicate knee injury treatment. You should avoid high-impact or repetitive stress sports, like football and distance running, that commonly cause severe knee injuries. Depending on the severity of your arthritis, your physician may also recommend limiting your participation in sports that involve sprinting, twisting, or jumping.

Because osteoarthritis has multiple causes and may be related to genetic factors, no simple prevention tactic will help everyone avoid increased arthritic pain. To prevent the spread of arthritis, physicians generally recommend that you take the following precautions:Avoid anything that makes pain last for over an hour or two.Perform controlled range of motion activities that do not overload the joint.Avoid heavy impact on the knees during everyday and athletic activities.Gently strengthen the muscles in your thigh and lower leg to help protect the bones and cartilage in your knee.Non-contact activities are a great way to keeping joints and bones healthy and maintain fitness over time. Exercise also helps promote weight loss, which can take stress off your knees.

Posted From Scorpion Sting’s Motorola Droid Maxx!

Still Living The Life Of A Stripper

In the paragraphs below y’all will be reading information which I finally had time to transcribe from a recorded talk I had with a very good friend of mine and former employer. She discusses the life of a stripper, how to make money, what to do with that money, personal safety, and so much more. I encourage y’all to set some time aside to read the information she has provided as it is considerably lengthy. It also provides insight to her personal accomplishments and how she has become a successful businesswoman. There are very different professions for all of the people who want to work, hopefully this will show y’all a different view of the world a stripper lives in. This could very easily be done as three separate posts but I’m an all you can eat buffet kind of guy who likes to get my fill all in one sitting. So, with that being said, here we go.

To begin with let me say that I started stripping at the age seventeen with a fake identification and a fast talking mouth. With that resting comfortably in the back of your head I also opened my own full nude strip club at the age of 24 in Houston and have since opened another location in Dallas. There are a great deal of misconceptions out there about strippers and that is something you will have to deal with if you enter the profession. I will say this, I truly enjoy what I do and I have never felt exploited because I’m a stripper. In fact I have always felt it was far more personally empowering than any other profession. But stripping is not for everyone. It requires a certain temperament. Don’t go and become a stripper because you feel you “have” to. If you hate what you do it will show and you will make very little money as a stripper. The minute you start dancing the clock is ticking. There are a limited number of years in which to make as much money as you can. Most dancers retire around 27. If you’re starting when you’re 18 that gives you nine years in which to make as much money as you can and then get out. Chances are you will never again be able to make as much per day as you do while stripping. Make the most of of the time.

There are two kinds of strippers, subsistence and capital strippers. A subsistence stripper just works enough to get by. Maybe a few days a week, saves little and is always in a financial crisis. I see these girls panicking to get enough dances to pay rent the next day but by the next week they are back to partying, doing drugs, buying expensive clothes and generally pissing away every dime they earn. Their plans for the future are vague at best and even though they claim to realize they can’t dance forever they seldom save and invest their money or invest in an education. These girls get out of the business no better then they started and spend the rest of their lives getting their ass pinched in menial, low paying jobs. A capital stripper dances as an investment. In my opinion this is the only reason to strip. Stripping is just too hard a way to earn a living to do it for just enough to “get by”. You can get by on a McDonalds salary. If you are going to have guys staring at your naked ass all evening you should at least be securing a decent future for yourself, not just tomorrow’s groceries and rent. There are many excuses for not saving your money but in my experience few of them are valid. Single mother, health problems whatever, you can still afford to save. If you work hard you can make a great deal of money stripping.

When you see that money in your hand it just doesn’t seem real, and when you keep seeing it night after night it seems like the supply will be endless. It’s really not, you need to put away the largest portion you can. Not just 10% or so but 40% or 60%. It is possible to do that and still live a very comfortable life. Strippers tend to live beyond their means and end up with nothing but memories of that nice sports car or that fancy apartment. If you can just keep it under control for a few years you can have that stuff for the rest of your life, long after you’re done stripping. Live within your means; base your spending around not what you make stripping but what you would make at a good entry-level job. Get a good, reliable car but you don’t need that giant SUV or fast sports car. Make sure your lease or car loan doesn’t rely on a strippers level of income to pay it. Same goes for the rent or mortgage. It’s very easy to fall on heels and break an ankle or tear up your knee, it happens all the time. You could be out of work for weeks or even months. You don’t want to be buried under a mountain of bills. I suggest buying at least basic health insurance but if you don’t you will need at least enough savings to pay for emergencies.

So what to do with the money you save? Well, set enough aside to pay for all of your expenses like food, housing, tuition, utilities, car, whatever for 4 months. This is your emergency fund, put it in your saving account and don’t spend it. The rest you should invest. I have a few well chosen mutual funds that I have been very happy with. As a stripper you’re looking to invest for the long term, at least 5 years and probably 10. Mutual funds are low maintenance and are well suited for this purpose. I strongly advise against investing in individual stocks. Despite all tales of buying low and selling high at the end of the year very few people are able to make money off buying and selling individual stocks. Stick with mutual funds, they are safer and more reliable (at least for the novice investor).

The best possible investment you can make is an education. With a nice big nest egg and a good degree you can do just about anything you want when you retire from stripping. Without an education or any job skills that money will eventually be gone. With an education you can make the most of your savings, use it as capital for your own business or invest it for a steady source of income. Too many strippers talk about how they’re planning on going back to school or they’re just taking a semester off. This is bullshit, if you want an education you need to go to school and work hard. If you’re not going to school then you’re pissing away your own future.

At most clubs you will walk around and ask the customers if they’d like a private dance (or lap dance depending on the club). Some clubs just have stage dancing. Often there is a private area that you can go for a dance. Be careful, though, the dim lights and the privacy tend to make the guys a little frisky. Not in a bad or scary way just in a way that may need to be corrected. The most important thing to do when you’re dancing is to smile and make eye contact. Nothing turns a guy off faster then a stripper strolling bored around the stage while staring vacantly off into space. Try to make each guy you’re dancing for think he’s the only guy you’re dancing for. This is how the pros make the big bucks. At many clubs a significant part of your nightly earnings comes from private dances. Most of the time the customer will pay for you to sit and talk with them as well. Guys vary a lot but it’s always important to be attentive. Nobody likes to feel like they’re being ignored. Most guys are pretty nice and easy to talk to. Provided you’re a good listener and act interested, it’s no problem. Then you get the guys who aren’t trying to be obnoxious, they just don’t have the best social skills. They will sit and alternate between nagging you to go out with them and lying about how much money they have, how many places they’ve traveled, how important they are in their company, etc. Simpering and looks of wide-eyed wonder come in handy at this point. Some guys are an absolute pleasure to sit with, they buy plenty of dances, they visit on a regular basis, and best of all they’re lots of fun to talk too. It’s guys like this who really make it all worth while.

When dancing it’s important to stay motivated, at most clubs you are an independent contractor. You won’t get fired if you don’t work hard and no one will say anything if you decide to hang out at the bar and talk all night talking to the bartender. You need to treat being a stripper like a job and not a social experience. Decide on what time and how long you will have dinner for, the rest of the time work the floor as hard as you can. Make sure you always get at least 8 hours of sleep so you’re not tired. You’ll look and feel better. Set a clear goal, try to get 4 dances and hour, as you get better set higher goals for yourself. Never assume a passive approach and wait for them to call you over, stay moving and keep working. If it’s hard and you just can’t get motivated make a game of it, make bets with other girls on who can get the most dances. Promise yourself ice cream if you reach a certain goal, whatever you have to do to stay motivated and keep earning that money.

Learning how to properly break the ice and get invited to sit with a customer takes time. Most girls tend to just walk around to every guy in the room and ask “Wanna dance?” and then when he says no walk off. This is the exact wrong approach. Every guy in that room has enough money for at least one dance and you just have to find the right words to get them to buy one or more. “Wanna dance?” can work in a very crowded room or if a guy is already interested but it will do absolutely nothing to convince a guy who was uninterested to change his mind. It’s too easy to say no to and that is usually what happens. To start with, choose your targets, who is looking at you the most when you are on stage or dancing for other customers? Talk to the bartender (always be friends and take to the bartender) and the floor hosts about who has an open tab or has been spending a lot of money. If a bartender or floor hosts gives you a good lead and you make money ALWAYS tip them at the end of the night and that way next time they will go to you first when they see a big spender. When you approach your prospective customer try and say anything but “Wanna dance?”: would you like some company?, would you like if I joined you? If the room is slow and he seems reluctant put a very slight push on. If he says he’s not interested ask if he would mind if you just sat down and rested your feet for a minute- you’re “not used to these heels”. Few men are going to say no to that, and the “not used to these heels” implies that you’re a new dancer and invites conversation. If 10 minutes go by and he still doesn’t buy a dance don’t ask- just say “I’m sorry, I’ve got to get back to work- it’s been nice talking to you okay?” This implies that you didn’t consider sitting with him work, a slight bit of flattery that will get you a dance later. Think of this approach as “seeding” in that you may not get the dance then, but chances are you will later. After a half-hour of “wanna dance” from the other girls he’s going to wish for your company again and probably be willing to pay for it. Or even the next time he comes in your’s will be the familiar face. With this approach it’s important you not spend too long with them, always keep them hungry. Unless they’re paying don’t sit with them longer then 10 to 15 minutes and only that long if the room is very slow. If they’re used to getting it for free it’s going to be hard to get them to pay for it. You’re friendly and available and they just have to be willing to pay for it.

Never ever, sit on your own or hang out at the bar talking to other strippers. At any given time you should be either sitting with a customer, moving to another customer or on stage getting naked. If you’re just standing around they will assume you’re not busy and it will be very hard to get a customer to pay for your time because “you’re not doing anything anyway”. Look busy, if they think other men want you then they will want you. It’s important you have respect for the money they give you, so much money changes hands that girls often forget what it represents. Let’s say your customer earns $40,000 a year after taxes- probably about average income for a stripclub patron in Houston. That works out to around $20 an hour. If a customer sits with you and you make $100, that’s 5 hours of his time. If a handyman came to your house and fixed thing for 5 hours you’d say “thank you” right? Always thank the customer and make sure he knows you mean it. Even if $100 doesn’t seem like a lot of money to you to the average customer it is.

One last thing, don’t screw with guys’ heads. It’s not cool, you can make money without doing it. I see lots of girls who string guys along implying they’ll go out with them if they just visit a few more times or laying on sob stories about their sick children or parents. Don’t do it, there is never any reason for you to lie as a stripper. After a few repetitions it gets very fake and you just come off as a greedy gold digging bitch. If you want customers to treat you with respect you should treat them with respect. If they are disrespectful just walk away, there is no reason for you to sink to their level. There are more then enough good men who will to pay you to sit, talk and laugh with them and when you dance they will treat you like a goddess. As customers they deserve your courtesy and if they don’t respect you in return they don’t deserve to have you spend time with them. Safety is a critical issue for strippers. Many menaked not understand that what we sell is a fantasy or feel that our employment makes us fair game for unwanted attentions. The six dumbest words that can leave a woman’s mouth are “I can take care of myself”. No you can’t, and get any notion that you’re some kind of tough girl out of your head. Men are bigger, stronger and meaner. They’ve been beating and raping women for thousands of years now and have pretty much got it down pat. Your little kick boxing lessons at the health club will not help you. If a grown man hits you full force you will be knocked unconscious and very likely break the bones in your face. Do not ever make safety decisions based on your opinion of your ability to defend yourself.

I personally think that carrying weapons or taking martial art, self-defense classes etc. are a bad idea for most women. The most effective way to survive is to be scared; anything that makes you brave makes you more likely to walk into a dangerous situation. If you have a gun in your purse you might be more likely to take that shortcut home, or take a ride with a man you don’t know very well or any number of risky things. If you’re scared you’re careful, if you’re careful you don’t get into trouble. If you are a feature stripper, have a very public presence (website or modeling), or have had problems with a stalker then a gun may be something you want to consider purchasing. You need to be trained in it’s use and practice with it at a firing range at least once every few months. Don’t bother carrying one unless you comfortable with the idea of killing someone. That’s what guns are for, you’re not going to be shooting knives out of anyone’s hands, you’re going to be trying to make a hole in the center of their torso. If you have small hands like me you can have a gunsmith machine a trigger guard that will comfortable fit your finger but too small for the finger of a grown man. But I would like to emphasize, most women are far better off not carrying a gun. Only if you are in a position of constantly being exposed to unavoidable danger is it an option.

One never wishes to blame the victim but every single girl I know without exception who has ever gotten into trouble was doing something most women would consider risky or just plain stupid. Don’t take chances- the stakes are too high. As a stripper, leaving the club after work is the time when you are most vulnerable. I have only gotten scared twice at work. On both occasions it was when an overly enthusiastic customer decided to wait for me outside the club after closing. On both occasions the men were just confused about the nature of what a stripper does and were quickly dealt with by security. This being said, transportation is a critical safety issue that you really have to think about. Going to work is not a problem because customers can’t really see where you are coming from. Leaving is when you have to be most vigilant. Public transportation is out of the question, it’s too easy to be followed and is rarely safe at the hours you’ll be riding. I’d suggest sharing a cab with one of the other girls. If you decide to drive, make very sure that your car is reliable, last thing you need is a break down on an empty road at 3AM. A cell phone is a good thing to have. Make sure when you register you car you do it to another address (friend, parent, etc.). That way if some creep takes down your license plate number he can’t find out your home address. For obvious reasons never give any personal info to anyone who knows you as a stripper, including other strippers. There are strippers and bouncers who will give the information to customers for money or as a favor. There is no reason anyone needs to know anything but your stage name. Don’t tell them where you live or what school you go to no matter how trust worthy they seem. Once that information is out it’s very difficult to put back in the box.

We are not all success stories. I had my eye on the prize the first time someone slipped money in my garter. I learned how to capitalize on a man’s willingness to part with his hard earned money to see me naked. Done properly, a stripper can sock away grand amounts of cash just by dancing naked, and it can end as a very fruitful career choice. Not every girl is a naturally born stripper, you have to be willing to work your ass off, and then the world holds endless possibilities for you.

Gives New Meaning To Grave Digger

Elf On The Shelf After Hours Edition

Dancing Sparks!

What Are Bartender: Untold Stories?

Welcome to the section where I get to share stories about the great club I worked at in the not so distant past, the interesting industry that I worked in, the array of people I had the pleasure to  meet everyday, and of course being a bartender in a full nude strip bar. Just take a stool and enjoy the beverage of your choice while I share stories and tantalizing tales that have been shared with me and/or observed by me. Now y’all are ready to be “exposed” to the things I’ve heard and the things I’ve seen thru the eyes and ears of a real Texas Bartender while working in a real Texas strip club. One can search around The Sting Of The Scorpion and find a variety of stories directly or indirectly related to Bartender Stories, I encourage y’all to look to the links on the right and click “Scorpion Sting’s Bartender Stories” as this will help to narrow your search.

As a bartender in a full nude strip bar I was witness to many amazing sites, I got to meet many amazing people, and best of all I got to listen to the stories of many people. The incredible challenge I always had was knowing what to do with all of the information that had been offered to me. What do I do? Write a book? Write a movie? Neither, but I did write it all down. I took notes and wrote down triggers so that the stories would come back to me easy. Why do all that? Why bother? Good question, which the stories I will tell will hopefully relay and answer some of those, if not all, questions. In time gone by I had a separate blog dedicated solely to telling stories from my perspective from behind the bar based on my conversations and observations. And, unfortunately I fell victim to some culling of blogs and it became a deleted statistic I chalked up as a great loss. However, as y’all can see here, I have been trying to maintain the tradition of telling my stories. from this point forward I will warn you that the content will become adult oriented and the language as well as the descriptive picture will become a bit more colorful. I’m not the best story-teller, but I try to be a fair story re-teller.

The views and opinions expressed within the walls of this blog section are mine. However, the purpose of this blog section is to re-tell stories I have heard and to tell stories based on what I have seen, so some things will be borrowed to a point. All names have been changed or omitted. Quite possibly y’all might read things here written in a coarse or blunt manner. This will not be done to offend you, however it might be needed at times to relay the true and accurate message. Some of the images you will find in this blog section belong to ME because I took them. Others are assumed royalty free and found publically on the internet. When needed, or asked for, I will include where or who I got the photo from. Please contact me if you have any questions at all about anything you may find here. Please enjoy your stay, return soon and often. Don’t be surprised if the story I tell one day is about you or somebody you know.

Proper Hang Time

Selling You A Fantasy

I would like to take the time to introduce the purpose of this post and how it was inspired. Many of y’all know me through Blogcatalog and know that I worked as a bartender in a huge high end full nude strip club here in Houston. Most of y’all might also know I used to chronicle my life and the life of customers, patrons, the pizza delivery guy, and the strippers on a dedicated blog before Google gobbled it up making it disappear forever. However, luckily for me, I had my little black notebook that I would use to right down most of my observations and conversations while I worked. Anyway, a member @ Blogcatalog posted a thread asking “What is the point of strip clubs?” and I told him that I would create a post on my blog that might better explain things based on my own personal experience and through what I learned from many others. So, in more ways than one, this post is dedicated to DM. I hope it may shed some light on understanding the different “angles” that are created by each and every person who walks through the doors of a strip club. Then again, as much as I ramble on it just might make things as clear as mud. The hard part for me is where to begin to try to answer his question. I have to remember that in reality the actual “point” cannot be defined because each individual has their own opinion. So, keep in mind a simple fact while reading  today, everything you will read is just that, my opinion and the opinions of others. Turn back now (after you look at the pictures of course) if the subjects of stripping, alcohol, nudity, strippers, adult language, adult content, money, religion, naked girls, drinking, and many more I’m sure. If you are still here then sit back and enjoy the show.

 

I’m going to start it off simple. The purpose of a strip club is to sell you a fantasy, plain, simple, and to put it bluntly. During the process of selling you this fantasy your money will be separated from your wallet as quickly as possible. As a newbie in a strip club your money will go fast and your time at the strip club will be short. You will leave with a smile on your face but you will experience confusion wondering how you spent so much money so damn fast. Where did all your money go? Good question. I can break down where it all went for you. If you came to my club then you spent it like I will explain. First, you paid the valet who was wearing a barely there itsy bitsy tiny bikini to park your car, then you tipped her to take “special” care of your ride. Second, you paid the admission to the greeter who most likely was completely nude. Her nudity distracted you and you probably paid a higher admission because you didn’t ask any questions about the price or any of the packages. Then, one of these nude ladies escorted you to a table. She held you tightly, you had your arm around her, y’all talked and laughed as she gave you a tour of the facility, then she seats you in a great spot, she then leans in to give you a very tight hug and a kiss on the cheek or forehead, and then at that point you feel obligated to tip her for everything she has just done for you. Third, you are approached by a stunning waitress wearing only an apron and high heels who asks you for your drink order. You give her your order and she walks away in a way that you can’t stop watching as she heads to see me at the bar. When she returns with your drink she will place it on the table in a truly seductive fashion. She will tell you an oddball price with forces you to pull out the bigger bills. When she makes change and places it onto the table you will pick most of it up and place it on her tray for the fabulous service you have just experienced and hope she remembers you. So far you have interacted with four women, none who are strippers, and you have dropped no less than a $100 bill. Don’t worry about that, we have six ATM’s in the building and the bartender can advance cash on your personal or company credit card, for a fee of course.

After you have visited the ATM you sit back down and you are ready to go. You’re amped up about seeing some of the most beautiful women on the entire planet naked and just mere inches from your nose. You just might think you have your best game face on but every single person in the club knows one of your reasons for being here and they use that to your disadvantage with a vengeance. The top reason for coming to a full nude strip bar is to see full nude strippers, end of discussion. It’s the undeniable fact in this entire discussion. What you may not know is that since the moment you walked in you have been “stalked” by at least one of the strippers. She is going to keep an eye on you and see what you are up to. When she approaches you she has “sized” you up and she is ready to wheel and deal. She doesn’t want your time, your conversation, or to drink with you, she want to mentally fuck you into an absolute frenzy so she can separate you from as much money as she can in the shortest amount of time. She is a salesperson, she will up-sale everything she has to offer. She bundles, she discounts, and she bargains. The whole time the price to spend time with her is steadily increasing. What started as a $25 lap dance is now a $150 private dance in a secluded area where everything can be just a little more provocative and exciting. You paid in advance before y’all ever left the table. During your two song lap dance you will be tempted to tip her but will be told to hold on to your wad until everything is over. Lucky for you there are “grab bars” on the sides of the chairs where you are instructed to keep your hands at all times. She also informs you that under no circumstances, no matter what she does in front of you or to you, that you are to remain seated and keeps those hands down to your side. She has one goal, she is going to get you so sexually excited that you will be in a love drunk bliss by the time it is all over. You aren’t her first and you damn sure won’t be her last. When she is done you are sweating, you have the biggest hard on you have ever experienced so far in life, and she made sure to leave her “wetness” everywhere she touched on your body. After you catch your breath you are deciding how much to tip her for her over-the-top performance. You probably just doubled the original price. No worries tho, because she just fucked you harder through your clothes than you could have ever experienced flesh to flesh. She then returns you to your table and slithers away into the darkness. How many times will this happen with this stay at the club? You would be very surprised.

 

Feeling thirsty you flag down your waitress and make another order. This time you order more than a single drink because the glasses won’t be full for long. You repeat this many times during which time you spend intervals of time at one or more of the 22 stages tipping a variety of the nude strippers in hopes that you will catch the eye of one of them and she will find you at your table waiting. You don’t wait too long before a trickle of strippers descends upon you at your table. Every single one is looking for the quickest deal they can flip so they can move on to the next person. You have made your choice, it’s like picking meat at a market. She has the body style, hair, personality, and so forth you are looking for at that very moment based on the choices in front of you. Y’all will sit and talk about a variety of things, mostly the conversation will be directed to talk about you. She will tell you to explain your deepest darkest fantasy. She might ask you to imagine if the two of you were having sex and explain what each of you would be doing. She is going to get you all worked up and then keep you all worked up from this point forward. She will, because she is “bored”, give you a couple of free lap dances, nothing too dirty or extreme, nothing like the private dances, but just enough to make you want more so you will be willing to spend more. It’s a game. You don’t know it’s a game tho, you think this is all real when in reality she is just selling you an illusion, a fantasy, and letting you live on a little borrowed time that you are renting from her.

As you wind down you realize it’s time to leave and get back into your life which is in the real world, a world beyond the doors of the club. You will pay me a visit at the bar to thank me for keeping the drinks going to you and your table all night. You will drop me a tip for all my “troubles” and you head to the exit. You will encounter a few strippers before you get to the doors who will try to convince you to stay but you are determined to leave. The valet has changed guard a few times so you will give your ticket to a new girl, one who you believe is even sexier than the first one you encountered. She arrives in your ride, slowly opens the door where she slowly exposes her long legs and she might, just might, give you your final sneak peek for the night. You tip her too of course, she seats you in your car, helps you with your seatbelt making sure she touches you everywhere you would hope she would, she will give you a peck on the cheek, she will shut your door for you, and away you will drive. Why do they go through all of this for someone departing the club and property? It’s super simple. Now you are already arranging in your head when you will be coming back for your next experience in receiving a mind blowing fantasy.

 

As you drive away you will still be in a haze of a daze. You smell the perfume, the sweat, the scent, and other juices that flowed in the evening from a variety of the strippers you spent time with. Not to worry, this was done on purpose. Your mind will now play the memory game that will be directed by each and everything you can smell. It will become real intense. the further you drive away from the club you are making the decision based on the choices, go home or go back. You continue to drive further away, regretting each mile as you go until you are finally home. What’s waiting for you at home? Your life? You will shower, slowly washing away the scents, you watch the suds go down the drain. At that very moment you begin to realize that it was all real, it wasn’t a dream, but for now it is over. You fall asleep remembering your fresh memories but they are starting to fade already. You may try to dream about your favorite stripper but you are so tired you cannot even concentrate, the night is finally over. When you wake up, maybe to go to work, to go to school, or just going out to run errands, you have a harder time remembering anything from the night before. You really don’t like this feeling so it bums you out most of the day. As each day passes that one night becomes a more distant memory and gets to the point where it fades away altogether. Your next time to the club will also happen based on a trigger, that might be something someone says, a scent you smell, a you see a person who reminds you of a stripper that night or so you will think. The process has the potential to start all over again, then again, and so forth.

 

Now, I realize that this scenario isn’t everyone’s experience. But, I used this approach because it was something I saw every night. It’s called lust. It’s called fantasy. People, in general have neither lust or fantasy in their everyday life, they suffer from a shortage of it and sometime it needs to be fed. There is no definite answer to what the point of a strip club actually may be. I do know this little fact, if there wasn’t a demand for strip clubs then they would crumble into dust and blow away in the winds. While working at a club that comfortably sat 900 patrons and worked that maximum limit every night of the week I can personally say that I think the demand is actually growing. Strip clubs have evolved over the years, they went from being a strip joint to a strip bar to strip clubs to gentlemen’s clubs. They tend to market themselves really well and place themselves in areas which are considered to be safer and cleaner. Yes, I know, not everywhere. And, yes, I know the scenario in this post is not always the case because not every club/bar/joint is the absolute same. It’s a business which thrives on there being a demand for what they supply or provide. Most of the strippers that were there when I was there had 6 figure incomes that they were reporting to the IRS and my job didn’t pay too shabby either. A stripper will sell you a fantasy for a pretty penny and walk away leaving you wanting more. It’s an art. They are some of the best salespeople you will ever meet in your life. Face it, most men and women want to see the opposite (sometimes the same) sex in the buff and are willing to pay for it. In the age of technology that we live in today people want face time for their money.

 

A note for clarification. The pictures used here today were borrowed from the internet through a Google search. The pictures are assumed royalty free and free to use for non-commercial purposes. If there are any questions, comments, or concerns then one can e-mail Scorpion Sting or feel free to leave it all in the comments section below. Now we are done.