My Children & The Blogging World

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All three of my children have been pressing me to help them each get a blog off the ground. I keep blowing them off jokingly because I really think they are asking the wrong person about how to make a blog. Since I consider my own writing to be an illustration of my thoughts, concerns, and opinions before I think of it as a blog, I find it hard giving advice. My children changed their tactics, they all three got together to hit me all at once, and to put me in the hot seat. I don’t like to be in the hot seat and I really am not a good teacher. Before we begin, let me just make it clear that the purpose of this particular post is for my children, because after we talked I decided I needed to write out what I had said for future reference of my own personal guidelines. If, someone else, anyone else, follows the guidelines y’all are absolutely on your own. The mere fact that I will write any of this down is coincidental and should not be taken as your guidelines or rules for your internet blogging experience. However, if you find some of it to be helpful then that is great as well. So, before I begin I will give introduction to my children, referenced by age, gender, and initials. My son, JB, 12 y/o. My daughter, CD, 17 y/o. My daughter, LW, 23 y/o. Each of them a different identity with different ideas but all three share one common denominator, me.

The very first thing, and to me, the most important thing to remember is that anything and everything you post to the internet is going to be able to be viewed by anyone in the world. Can you tell we have had a similar conversation about Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram? I remind them that if they are not willing to share it with the world then it does not belong on the internet and that is a choice they must live with every single time they click the “publish” button. I also explained the whole “blogosphere” thing to them. We looked at what makes up the blogosphere and what makes it such a desirable place to be. I borrow the definition of blogosphere from the Wikipedia definition. “Blogosphere: The blogosphere is made up of all blogs and their interconnections. The term implies that blogs exist together as a connected community (or as a collection of connected communities) or as a social network in which everyday authors can publish their opinions“. It may not be the best definition, but it is the simplist to understand. Because, in the end, the interconnection of all the blogs is what defines the different communities that have evolved over the years.

I try to follow these simple steps and rules because over time they are what helps me personally. I reminded them that it isn’t just about writing their blog, it is about interacting with readers, as well as going out exploring other blogs they might have an interest in. I have also recommended they use the WordPress format because it is super simple to use.

  • The number one thing you need is subject material to write about on your blog. One cannot always pick a subject that people might be searching for, but their is always an endless list of things to write about. If you blog about something specific then you need to stick to the subject. If you have an open ended blog the sky is the limit. Give value, no matter how small and somebody out there will appreciate the post and you will begin to get yourself a following. Remember that as long as you know more than somebody else you have something to offer.
  • Writing a blog post needs to come from you. It can be as original as you are and still be about something you read, saw, or did. The key with every post is writing is writing something that sounds like YOU. Write your content in your words, put your own personality into it, state your views, sound different then the rest of the crowd, and then it will stand out more.
  • Now you need to bring all of the elements of your post together. Writing a blog post consists of sticking with a set layout that will work on most if not all of your posts. Put keywords in the title, then again in each paragraph, sum it all up with the last paragraph so your reader doesn’t feel left hanging, and add in more of your keywords. Be sure to add tags to your post which refer to the keywords so relevant searches can happen. There should be searchable keywords throughout your post.
  • You must continue to ask yourself if everything makes sense, is there too much information or not enough, and fine tune it so your keywords are placed in logical places so they don’t look like they were placed randomly. If what you are writing does not make sense then the reader will quickly move on and probably dismiss any future posts because they feel their time is being wasted.
  • Proof reading is both the blessing and the curse of anything that is written. But, those who are just starting out need to look for the misspelled words, the missing words, and the sentences that just don’t make any sense for some reason. This is a hard one for me because I write as if I were speaking and I generally do not proof read until after it is published or after a grammar Nazi gets ahold of me.
  • For the most part it is always important to consider who your audience actually is. Do you know who your audience is? Do you care who your audience is? I’m a firm believer in writing for yourself and not for the purpose of pleasing others. If people want to read what you write then they will and if not then they generally move on. Don’t let this fact determine how you write or what you write about because then your message will get blurred and eventually lost.
  • Be sure you pick your battles when deciding what to write about. As much as you may want to, you can’t enlighten everyone on the internet because not every single person is actually interested in what you have to say. This is a hard pill that everyone of us has to swallow. Realize this simple factoid and you will be able to hold on to your sanity.
  • Always remember that there are other people on the other side of your computer screen. These people may not share your opinions and they may not appreciate what you have to say. Not everyone is liked by everyone. Many people hide behind their internet identity and write things that they wouldn’t say or do in real life. These people will try to bring you down to their level, so just try to remember that just because you have an opinion doesn’t mean that you are always right.
  • Try to write as if you were speaking to someone sitting next to you. It will change how and what you write. Remember that once you hit publish it is going to be available to millions of people. As an example, my family reads my blog on occasion and eventhough they don’t care for my blog sometimes they don’t give me allot of grief. They know the real me and know that the on-line me are the same person. I am who I am no matter where I am. Does this work for everyone? I couldn’t tell you but I know it works for me.
  • When in doubt, don’t publish it. I have written many posts that have never been published and probably never will be. They are reminders to me that my opinion is sometimes best left unwritten and unseen. Remember that over time you will gain followers as well as haters, both should be embraced knowing that people are indeed reading what you wrote.
  • Finally, nobody will find you by accident. You need to promote yourself through the different social networking platforms that are out there. Share what you write and you will receive feedback and comments. I’m sure there are many more fine social networks out there. I personally use Blogcatalog, Google+, and Facebook. While on the topic of “communities” I would like to mention Blogcatalog since I have been a member there for many years. Blogcatalog is full of many great people sporting great personalies and blogs as well. Blogcatalog is a place to discuss anything from A – Z and everything in between. It has been a great place for support, growing friendships, and also gives my me ideas and inspiration for different topics I might right about.

I remind y’all that I’m writing this for my children, all who read my blog, all who know who I am as a father, an individual, as well as a person who has been around the world a few times while taking the time to observe and learn something new. Are there things I wish they wouldn’t read? Sure, but I don’t tend to hide things from people. My wife would like me to quit writing my blog altogether. She has her reasons. She also “allows” me to continue because she knows I enjoy doing it and that is what this all about, enjoy what you are doing. She is happy I keep names out of my blog and when she reads it she knows most of the time who I am talking about. My writing style isn’t for everyone but it is what works for me. Soon enough my children will have their individual blogs up, running, and operational. When they do one can be assured that I will be promoting them here and through the normal ritualistic channels that I normally use. For now, this post is over, y’all will be reading more about their blogs in the near future. In fact, my son will be providing the next guest post for me. It will be an unedited “page” from his journal to see if he likes seeing his thoughts out there for everyone to see.

Maybe y’all gained something from all of this nonsense and if you did, maybe, just maybe, it might be a step closer for everyone to help figure out why I try to write here everyday. Doing posts like this one is allot like therapy because I learn things about myself I otherwise have been taking for granted. Both images used in this post were acquired using a Google image search and are being borrowed to illustrate a point. I claim no ownership of either picture.

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When She Changed Her Mind

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It’s been a while since I’ve extracted an interview from my little black notebook. I find myself getting backlogged in my own crap at times with the things I do here at the blog. I suppose I was trying to make a seamless transition when combining everything together. But, as it works out, I think it is pretty much all straight or at least as straight as it can be. With that being said and other business being squared away I have dipped into the pages of my notebook. I was looking for something very specific after getting an e-mail from a pissed off teacher. It reminded me that I had been wanting to tell the story of a small town teacher who gives up everything, moves to Houston, and finds herself working at Club X. For those of y’all new to my blog(s) I will give a quick rundown. I was a bartender at a full nude strip bar here in Houston Texas. I’ve never been comfortable giving out the name of the club and when I write about it or my time there I will always refer to it as Club X. So, if you are new here just look to the right for the link that reads “Scorpion Sting’s Bartender Stories” and you will see a small selection of surviving stories. So many stories were lost when my Google account was killed off, I think there were a little over 300, I found and saved like 12 of them. If you are easily offended by adult language, adult situations, human anatomy, or talking about nude women, this might be the time for you to just like my post and leave unwounded and intact. Starting with the next paragraph I will begin with the story. Some of y’all might consider it to be a little graphic so closing of the eyes will be accepted. Y’all ready? Let’s GO!

Once upon a time in a small town in west Texas named Fabens there was a young lady who was a teacher. This teacher was born and grew up in Fabens. When she graduated high school Stacy left to attend Texas A & M University to study to get her teaching degree. She had hopes of teaching in the local elementary school back in Fabens. 4 1/2 years later she remembers walking into her 4th grade class for the first time. She recalls in order to explain that she grew up a very sheltered girl. She had scholastic interests which got in the way of dating in high school and had all of two failed relationships. When I asked her why she considered them failures she was real blunt with me. My first clue that she wasn’t going to be holding back. She said the first guy was nice enough. After a year or so he began pressing her for sexual relations and when she declined he walked away never saying another word to her. The second guy, she says with a giggle, is still in prison. Prison, why? On their 4th date he took her out to a deserted road, threatened her with a knife and told her the only way she will survive the night is if she fucks him until she passes out from exhaustion. Scared, she began to comply by slowly getting undressed. The whole time she was trying to figure out how to get away. She was sure she was about to have her virginity raped away from her. After she removed all of her clothes she pulled her legs back. She says that she was hoping to just distract him for one second. She aged him on a bit since he wasn’t moving very fast by telling him “here is what you are after so get to fucking”. Upset, he slapped her, cutting her lip open, and then he went to thrust into her for the first time. Somehow, she said, she ended up with the knife in her hand, and before his dick touched her she shoved a 7″ blade to the hilt straight up thru his balls into his abdomen. There was blood everywhere. She grabbed her clothes and took off running. She stopped when she got home. After explaining to her dad what happened he went looking for him. Fortunately he made it to the hospital emergency room so he was easy to find. He was sentenced 15 years for attempted rape and the battery of a minor with a deadly weapon, this all happened in 2007. Next thing she knew she was in college and then graduating. She has survived college and now wants to return to her hometown to teach. Which is where it all began.

One of her friends decided to not go to college and moved to Houston to see what life in the big city had to offer. Her friend found out real fast that money doesn’t grow on trees in the big city and she had better find a job fast or she would be living with the bums down on the bayou. She was able to avoid the typical fast food jobs and found herself working as the receptionist at Porsche dealership. She figured the only reason she got the job was because she had a nice smile and boobs. This job paid pretty good, started her out at $13.00 an hour which was decent for what she had to do, answer the phones, take messages, and direct the people traffic. She worked there around 3 years until one day she came into work and there was a new receptionist at her desk, she was blonder, had a nicer smile, and better boobs. When her friend asked questions she was told she had been laid off due to her position no longer being available. Was she pissed? Not really because she was pretty bored of the job anyway. On her way home she decided to go the back way because it was mid morning and the traffic would not be too bad. As she drove by Club X she saw a giant banner advertising a mud wrestling contest with a $10,000.00 grand prize for first place. She stopped in to get some details. She won the mud wresting matches and ended up being number one which meant she just got paid for doing something she was good at. She was offered a job and she took it. Not long after-words she invited Stacy to come visit her so they could catch up. It just so happened that it was spring break so Stacy decided what the hell. When she arrived in Houston to meet her friend, Sonia, she was amazed at how well things were working out for her. They had a grand day sight-seeing and going out to eat. Later in the evening they found themselves at a few different clubs to go dancing and drinking. They went back to Sonia’s house where they slept it all off. That night Sonia was getting ready to go to work and left an address for Stacy to come to later. She said it will be fun. Stacy was told to flirt with the bartender a bit and he will give her free drinks. When Stacy arrived at the address via taxi she called Sonia to verify she was at the right place, which was confirmed. Not knowing exactly what to think she went ahead and went in. She mentioned she was a friend of Sonia and she was escorted straight to the bar because Sonia let them know to expect her. From my point of view, Stacy looked very lost and very out-of-place, yet she fit in nicely. Stacy had asked me to point out Sonia’s location. At just the time I spotted her she was walking to the bar. They sat there and talked for a while and then it was time for Sonia to go to work. It was Sonia’s turn to dance on the stage which was also my bar. She put on one hell of a show, almost made me blush watching her.

Throughout the night Stacy stayed at the bar where she drank whatever I would put out in front of her. She recalls that I got her really drunk and wondered to herself what I wanted from her in return. When the night came to an end they both disappeared into the shadows to head home. Stacy says that Sonia convinced her to try out for a position on the team and test the waters a bit and see if she could make any money. But, she had a job she kept thinking. She figured what the hell because she was on vacation and quite simply nobody knew who she was anyway because she was so far from home. Stacy came in early and did an audition for the trainer and did an impressive job from what I understood. She was offered a provisional position for 2 weeks to see if she worked out or not. I explained what the “provisional position” stood for and meant in plain English. I had to tell her, I felt obligated to tell her that for the first couple of weeks she may think she is making allot of cash but what she takes home will be around 60% less since she will have to cash out every night. She remembers her first night as if it were last night. There was a heavy scent of alcohol, cigarettes, and sex in the club. The lights were bright and the music was so loud she felt every thump inside her body. The music began to speak to her, it began to inspire her, and she found the music released her inner stripping beast. She felt as if she was on fire and couldn’t wait to take off her clothes and had to remind herself that her job was to strip which meant slow the fuck down and enjoy herself. She explains that when she was on stage that as she looked out into the crowd that the lights created halos around everyone and it all became like a dream. She could not believe how excited she had become and she wanted to just continue dancing, never stopping. She danced on the stages only that first night and tells me that it was absolutely fucking amazing. The first night was an experience that she will not soon forget and she thinks about it when she is feeling down. When we were closing on her first night she was called to bar to settle up with her cash out. She had made $3,458.00 and after cashing out she was taking home $1,383.00 as her cut. She left a very happy camper, thinking that she made that amount of money in 5 hours of being at the club. She estimated that in 2 weeks she could take home close to $20,000.00 just for dancing and stripping her clothes to put on a fantasy show. Then reality set in, she had a job, she had a job teaching, a career which she spent allot of money to go to school for. Then she got to thinking, her teaching career will only yield $34,000.00 her first year there and this job would be estimated to make her well over $200,000.00 if she only worked part-time. She decided to finish out the week that she was off from school. On the day that she was to return she counted her earnings, she had made just shy of $11,000.00 and it made her think real hard about going home. Should she just say fuck it and stay? Should she say fuck the money and go back to teaching? Her friend chose to stay out of the thought process and keep quiet. Stacy had made her decision, she grabbed her bag and walked out the door.

The following Monday she arranged a meeting with the principal because she wanted to talk things over with her. After the formalities of the start of the meeting, Stacy presented the principal with her resignation, her keys, and her identification badge. When she was asked what she was going to do now, Stacy replied with a smile and said she is moving to Houston to make a better life for herself financially. She was asked if she will be needing a letter of reference and of course she declined putting them to any trouble since it wasn’t needed. She went home, her parents home where she had been living in her old bedroom to say money, and explained to her parents that she was moving to Houston and please don’t ask any questions. Then, just like that, she got in her car and made the trip back to Houston. When she arrived it was real late and Sonia wasn’t at home so Stacy figured she would pay her a surprise over at the club. She came in and walked up to my bar and asked for a shot of tequila. When I turned with the shot I realized who I was handing it to and to tell the truth, I was very surprised to see her sitting there. She had missed two nights of work and I wasn’t even sure if she still had a job. She planned ahead, she told the trainer she had an emergency back home in Fabens and would return in two days time. She headed off to the dressing rooms to get ready to get to work. She figured nobody was going to pay her to hang out at the bar and shoot the shit with me. I noticed during her first dance of the night that she was a changed person, no longer lost, no longer confused, and was ready to take like by the horns and ride it like she stole it. She said that she hadn’t felt so enthusiastic about anything else so far in her life, she was ready for the career change, the lifestyle change, and her personal change. Getting close to the end of our talk I had to ask her what it was like for a small town girl who considered herself sheltered to be here dancing, to be here stripping, to be here with the purpose of being naked. Her answer surprised the shit out me to be honest. She said for the first time in her life she was in control, she controlled what people thought of her, she controlled what people thought they wanted for her, and she enjoyed the absolute rush of taking a guy to the extremes and back leaving his head spinning wondering what in the fuck just happened. Plus, she wanted a piece of the money that was being offered here. She loves the game of mind-fucking the men to the point where they don’t care how much money they are putting on the table. When I personally quit the club and quit bartending, Stacy had been there about six months or so. She never really changed from having that small town charm. When she danced she owned your mind and she knew it, that is what made her so good at it.

Now A Small Group Of Teachers Hate Me

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Over this past weekend I’m checking my e-mail, one subject line stood out above the rest because the line is usually empty so I get surprises, but this one read “Great Pictures Of Us Enclosed”. After weeding through 56 others which were mostly spam, there were some others that were to go to The Magic Weekend postings, so I had to read those first. So, when I opened the e-mail I started by opening the attachment. Above is the beautiful picture that opened up. This e-mail was sent from, what I will assume to be, personal e-mail address. The e-mailer claims to be a 3rd grade teacher and is writing her e-mail with other teachers from the same local Houston elementary school. She explains that she accidentally stumbled across my shitty blog because she checked out my “About” section on Pinterest. She states that I re-pinned 3 of her pictures and pinned them into my “Texas” board. She likes to look at who is pinning her pins to see if they may have anything of interest to her. I generally do the same thing, I think that is how we all do it, but I won’t assume to know that as fact, just personal experience. She explained that out of my close to 9,000 pins that she found only 7 she would consider re-pinning and 3 of them came from her board originally. She chose not to re-pin any because she didn’t want me to back track to her boards any longer. She considered everything else to be pure garbage. The second way they made it here was because I liked a blog post on a blog her good friend writes. She wasn’t specific on which blog it was but did ask why I would only “Like” an essay post about the declining role of strippers in lives of most adult males living in Houston Texas. She asked why I didn’t have a comment since I write about strippers as if I was an expert. She also stated she believes it was to mock the post, not taking the statistical information seriously. She went on to say that if I had any balls that I would have left a comment. Really, balls? I need balls to leave a comment? Very interesting. Anyway, she tracked back and landed on my blog as well. Apparently they had a small consult and realized, with a small group of teacher friends that they didn’t like me, my blog, anything I post, or anything I supposedly stand for.

They would like to know why I try to use current events to promote my silly little blog since all of the information I post is slanted and disinformation which misleads readers into thinking I actually have a clue about what I’m writing. At every turn I seem to take the opportunity to be dishonest, disgusting, and deceitful to everyone who makes the stupid choice to visit my blog. They think that I give Houston, Texas, and the United States a black eye because I claim to be from them and that I’m proud of them. Wait, a black eye? I wonder if they don’t realize that I have a very small percentage of regular or even part-time readers. If I wasn’t on WordPress, Google+, Facebook, Pinterest, and Blogcatalog there wouldn’t be any promoting and nobody would even know I exist as far as having a blog. I try to get my posts out to be read, that much is true. I don’t try very hard though and that is probably why my numbers are low, unless we count the spammers, then I am very popular. She wants to know the “purpose” of my blog because she can’t figure any of it out. Exactly, I have a disorganized blog for a reason and that reason is because I arrange things how I see fit because it suits me perfectly. Purpose? There isn’t one other than using my blog as a platform to talk about this and that, a place for me to place what I find interesting. I do one thing on purpose here, call it my shits and giggles purpose if nothing else. I write in a fashion that gives the grammar Nazi wannabe school teachers something to grade besides schoolwork. I do not spell check or grammar check my posts since I write as if I were talking to someone. Plus, this way is fun because there are so many people out there who can’t wait to point out the mistakes. Does it make me a bad person because I enjoy screwing with someone’s OCD? Maybe it does and maybe it doesn’t, y’all decide for me.

I would like to talk a bit about this handwritten note. Who in the hell writes a note out by hand and then takes a picture to attach to an e-mail? Let’s explore my first impressions and what it says to me. First, it means that she doesn’t know how to do that on a computer. Second, she was too lazy to do it on the computer. But, probably she was looking for the impact a handwritten note delivers. A handwritten note says “I took the time to write this note”. Looking at the actual message I would like to remind y’all that the word “hate” is a real strong word with some real definite meaning attached. When someone hates someone/something it usually means it is really personal. Is it personal? Do I offend them that much? Hate, really? Should I just assume that the entire world hates me? Impossible, but a nice thought. I never knew I was known so widely. Almost sounds like a compliment instead of the way she intended it to be insulting. If she would have read around a bit she could have easily figured out that I really don’t care if people love or hate me since that isn’t why I’m here. I’m not here to feed my own ego, I’m here to talk, sometimes seriously and sometimes just for the hell of it. I think finally that the last line is my favorite part of the entire message and I will leave it alone from this point forward. At close to the end of her e-mail she instructs me to not write about any of this on my blog or I can expect more e-mails from her and others. Really? Don’t write about what I want to write about on my own blog? You can’t be serious! How can I make that choice not to write about any of this bullshit? This has been one of the more funny e-mails I have got in a long, long time. The best one to date since moving here to WordPress, hands down, she has no competition. Hell, she didn’t just verbally attack my blog but she verbally attacks me as well. Well, you daffy girls, as you can see, I dedicated a few paragraphs to your silliness and bullshit. I don’t find it a waste of time because I have a feeling at least a few other people in the world will be laughing their asses off as well. It’s because of people just like you who give the grand definition of what a Fucktard really means that I get up every morning motivated to talk about the stupid people I encounter almost every day. Don’t be mad at me because I disobeyed the teacher, be mad at me because I tell the truth. Please do write me again, I enjoy people like you writing me, it puts a smile on my face for the entire day. I can’t thank y’all enough for taking the time to consult one another and send me such a great e-mail and handwritten message. Until next time bitches. For everyone else, remember to eat it everyday!