Scraping The Bottom Of The Barrel

Man oh fucking man where do I even begin to describe what has been happening? There has been a major influx of ranting and raving about something I made up supposedly but never actually made up except to have some fun. I won’t self gratify in front of others by posting links to past posts which are referenced to quite a bit in these messages from people with allot of butthurt recently. It would seem that many who read the posts here on this blog have got the wrong impression. I have written my fair share posts about religion here on this blog, that’s a true statement, and the reader is always left to assume what my true motive of doing so really is, also a true statement. But, make one single fucking reference to the Church of Scorpion, and it was a single one time small reference, along with joining The Scorpion Army (fan club), and all of a sudden I am the leader of a non-existent cult religion that needs to be overthrown by all the government recognized religions. When did this fucking happen. Yes, I made a sign on the computer at a sign generator web site in the likeness of a very recognizable kind of sign, a sign not too different from the marquee signs seen out in front of many churches which are filled with upcoming events and even quoted scripture. But never, not even once have I said I started a religion or this is the actual marquee for the building we would worship in.

But, like always, lets take it to the next level, lets take it to the extreme, lets make things into something they are not to fit your pathetic needs. Is the fact that I discuss religion in the light that I do a threat to who you believe in or how you choose to believe? The answer you seek is no, don’t be such a butthurt dumb fuck. As you will read, and fans of this blog will need to brace yourselves, because you are being attacked and called names as well. True readers of this blog know I post about many topics, from A to Z, but seriously, how can someone ever gather I have started my very own religion. I post the picture again for the purpose of reminding you what was posted originally. I assure y’all it was done in sarcastic humor, there isn’t a secret underground church somewhere in my backyard or even in my dark, twisted imagination. Below you will see/read a few of the emails I received lately, they remain untitled and anonymous for a reason. They are unedited and unfiltered, so make sure you are wearing your rose colored glasses. If you make it to the end of this post you will be able to read some follow up which might just help you make sense of it all, or not, your choice.

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You are the most sick, fucked up, twisted, inbreed, stupid son of a fucking whore bitch I have ever seen in my entire life. You need to seek mental help. I think you have smoked to much crack and done to much acid. Although you do have a right to start a new religion, BUT, your religion is not recognized by the government simply because it is purely fucking stupid. You will burn in fucking hell the rest of your god damn life you piece of shit fucking inbreed fuck!

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I’m ont going to go all ape shit on you because I’m a firm beliver of people chosing their own religions or lack of one. HOWEVER I do find if ofencive when you make a mockery of other religions, be it christianity, buddhism, judaism, etc. so I think it fair that you respect other people’s belifes and not posting material that INTENTIONALY offends other people,

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What exactly do you think you are going to prove? it’s just disrespectful to other human being’s faiths and beliefs, and I’m sure all people should know u can’t put any sense into say a devout christian. Honestly, what your doing is the equivalant of making a rude, sarcastic joke to a child that doesn’t understand humor. u cant tell a christian thats been raised from birth to believe that there’s a magic man in the clouds that he’s wrong. you’ll just get what uve been getting, hate mail, and death threats. God is the equivalant of santa exept the child is never told he isn’t real until it’s to late. and u think your doing a good thing by making up this church of scorpion crap to prove how absurd the idea of god is. what i don’t think u understand is that u cant argue with idiots about this stuff as most christians are dont know a thing about science. (I apoligize to all respectable christian scientists). As an athiest, im disgusted what youre doing. (yes ive read your blog). Really, did it ever, or does it ever occur to you that these people are actually human being’s with family’s and feeling’s, and just because they think the world was created  differantly than you, you have to mock them,  that’s kind of a dick move you asshole. Your being no better than they are (religious people) by making fun of and disrespecting other people just ’cause they think differantly than you. What do you worship, satan himself? Which means I have the right to ridicule you on how stupid your dumb-fucking religion is and don’t deny that you worship the all mighty satan king, because your the leader of the church of scorpion. With the true words of your religion written cryptically throughout your blog. It’s ironic that you, by trying to prove how bad religion is, go about it by you yourself inbodying everything that is wrong with human beliefs. You are everything that is wrong with religion. You go around acting all superior and pompus, like you know better than everyone else and tell them why there wrong mockingly. The world would be a better place if you took all your “followers” (scorpion minions) got on a pirate ship and ate scorpion shit until you all died of overeating. Have you ever heard the term live and let live? I love it how  you post all the hate mail you get on your page to be ridiculed by your cronies ( who by the way need to get off the internet and do something productive). Yes we the the bible huggars are gonna say dumb stuff because they’re uneducated. But that doesn’t mean you have to be immature and make fun of their faults so just lay the fuck off. Even though this message sounds hostile just know I agree with what your’e trying to do (i think) educating people, I just wholly disagree with how you are going about it.

My personal response was as follows: It’s not my intention to mock or offend anyone. But I realize people sometimes feel mocked or offended and I’m okay with that fully. It might be fair to say that I am disrespectful.  I would agree that I don’t respect the notion that religion should sit on a pedestal.  I don’t think that because an action is explained in the context of religion it is exempt from the scrutiny it otherwise would have been subjected to.  Religion is not a free pass for crazy fucking fairy tale ideas and crazy actions. I would agree that it’s not my place to pass judgment on those who see the world through a lens of religion.  But neither is it my place to ignore when personal belief becomes public action.  I can accept that some choose to teach their kids the earth is only 6000 years old and that dinosaurs are a myth.  But if they push for those ideas to be taught in our schools, it’s no longer a question of respecting personal belief. The idea that rational minded people must be anti-religion is a wrong one, I think. If we must draw a line to divide ourselves, I’d prefer the line be positioned between reasonable and unreasonable people, rather than religious and non-religious people. It’s one thing to see the world through a lens, and another thing to act as if it’s the only lens that can exist.

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I spent a while thinking of a good reply, in general in concern of your blog, without sounding like some sort of inbred hick or perhaps maybe to get your attention. However, I realize that there pretty much is no way for that to happen, if you put this in your hate-mail section, I’ll probably be mocked just as much as the next guy who chooses to criticize your new religion. I’m OK with that, I just wish people will actually think about what I have to say rather then ignorantly mocking what I believe personally. Whatever may happen, I don’t really mind, except that I cannot bring myself to be silent on this issue.

I am a Christian, whatever you may think about me, or absurd assumptions you may have about what I look like, think like, or speak like, realize this, I think all beliefs should be treated with equality. Atheism, Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Agonist, Voodoo, The Church of Scorpion, whatever, I don’t care, if you believe that you are correct, then you have every right in the world to believe that with all your heart, and nobody should force you to believe what they believe. Now I also believe in open criticism of any of these religions, meaning your Church of Scorpion view that openly mocks religion. However, it is also my right to criticize the criticism, meaning though while I believe it is your right to mock, harass, and generally make religious persons miserable, I don’t believe it is morally right.

Atheism is a belief just as much as Christianity. Say whatever you want about facts and how religion is stupid and all those who practice it are all idiots, but it still comes down to the fundamental truth that you must believe this to be more true over the other option. I am again, completely fine with that, and that is why I love America so much, because we CAN believe differently then one another, and still live peacefully (to a degree) together. However, mocking is not the right way to go about arguing your belief.

    By the way, here is the definition of mocking:

1. Tease or laugh at in a scornful or contemptuous manner.

2. Make (something) seem laughably unreal or impossible.

To laugh at someone else’s belief that they dedicate their lives to is not funny or humorous, but I believe is rather childish and immature. This is the main reason why I would much rather sit down calmly with someone and have a rational discussion about each other’s beliefs, instead of smacking them in the face with a bible, and shouting how they are going to hell for not believing the undeniable truth that is the bible, or worse, calling their belief idiotic and getting my group of friends together and laughing and pointing in his face.

Of course there are people that do this, hence, you, and there will always be people like you. My job is try to convince you to be rational and discuss each others view points. I could never put myself in your mindset and read this the same way through your eyes. To you, I just look like another idiot who took this too seriously and decided to write a concerned letter and waste his time trying to teach you to be respectful, but the truth is, writing this helps me put my thoughts in order anyways. If you do have one ounce of thought for my beliefs, at least view this email with respect, and try to think about what I am thinking.

What I am thinking is that the joke has gone too far. Of course this email asks for intelligent discussion, and that seems to have never existed on your blog, so before I go, let my put it into a language you might understand.

Fuck you, and lay off religion asshole.

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You are a sick twisted motherfucker and you are an absolute fraud to the highest degree. It’s obvious to me that you don’t give a shit about you’re so-called religion. I am not even that christian but this blog makes me sick. You have no right to start a religion or should I say cult.  People need to think for themselves they don’t need to listen to your bullshit nonsense. I am not even that christian but at least they are trying to help people. What are you trying to do, make money and fill your church with alcohol and with full nude strippers? Do you charge a cover to get it? What is the price, what remains of their souls? That is the most stupid thing I ever heard. I hope the government shuts you down and takes you’re money. Suck it jackass motherfucker cult bitch.

My response was simple. I stated I have started nothing and never claimed to start anything. Nothing has made the grand total of zero dollars because nothing exists because it was a fucking figure of speech giving an example.

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You sicken me with the fact that you now have my best friend believing in your stupid, sick, blasphemous crap you call a religion! I can tell you what it really is, BLASPHEMOUS, MADE DURING A DRUG BINGE, IDOLATRY THAT WILL HAVE YOU BURNING IN HELL OR ON THE TABLE AFTER THE LAST WAR!!!! I am furious about the fact that there is a religion DEVOTED to SIN OF ALL THINGS! If you don’t change you and all your followers will be in a special place in hell just for IDOL WORSHIPPING, SIN LOVERS LIKE YOURSELF!!! You disgust me and I hope you see the truth before it’s too late.

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While I am not of your “religion”. I will not trash your blog like the majority of the blundering baboons around here, instead I am here to support not your religion, but your attempt to keep religion honest. The constitution gives the people not only of freedom of religion but freedom from it.

I am a Hindu and have an open mind to virtually all religions. I know that this religion is not a real religion; but an attempt to show the errors and flaws of most organized religion and those who support it’s full integration into state affairs. I support your attempt to show how religion has become very commercial and corrupt in its mere existence. The majority of people ranting on your blog are not venting against the concept of religion, but against your satire and blatant disrespect of their religion.

Yet, I must warn you not to take this to far. It might push some maniac over the edge and cause them to grab a gun and go after you. This has happened in the past throughout history. Thus, I propose that you put somewhere on your front page of the blog that this is not an actual religion but an attempt to keep religion honest from corruption. That is all, thank you.

My response: I take issue with the idea of so calledreal religion, as if such a thing can be defined and agreed upon.  I’ve said it in the past and I still believe strongly that there is no classification of religion without agenda.  I don’t expect mainstream religion (or a government influenced by mainstream religion) to see my words to be anything more than a joke, a way to get them to look at the reality behind their beliefs. As always, my blog will be seen in terms that serve their purpose and not my own. I comment the way I do because I am rational and reasonable and I’m not driven by any particular dogmatic thinking.  I’m an individual who rejects the concept of faith-over-reason, or indoctrination. Why does humor invalidate your beliefs?  I see this argument all the time and don’t understand it. Not everyone gets it, but again, that is the point. I tend to reject the lowest common denominators about organized and commercial religions in favor of common sense thinking. Is it just that mainstream religion is so utterly humorless?  Most religious people I know have a great sense of humor but I think they would agree that the institution of religion is rigid and stifling.  There are obvious areas where it’s not ok to make a joke.  One of the creepiest things I find about religion is that feeling that everyone is trying to act very serious. While I understand that not everyone will get what I’m doing here and why I do it, it’s not my intention to offend, but everyone takes offense so easily, it’s you’re and their choice.

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I saw your blog and it just amazes me how delusional you are, you are trying to create a delusion around the world. A sick joke gone wrong really, its really sad that you are so completely obsessed with brainwashing. This whole religion is of hate and defies all logic, rational thought, and it shatters common sense completely. You’re lousy evidence doesn’t cut it either. Its not even slightly sane that you write what you write. I bet if a Scientologist and a mutated Christian extremist had sex, the offspring would be a YOU.

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I can appreciate a good joke as much as any other guy.  But there’s a difference between making a joke and insulting other people.  When you begin to bring in specific religious practice or condemnations for not doing as the religion “requires,” that becomes an insult.  Think of it this way: your blog is actually great, but what’s the point of bashing on religions?  It directly says to others that if you don’t believe what I tell you, you’re wrong. Yes, I’m a Christian, no I don’t believe most of the things in the church’s past were okay.  I simply choose to believe that there is a God, and if anybody has any questions about my faith, I’ll be happy to answer and guide them if that’s what they want.  If they believe otherwise, I’ll allow them to stay that way, because there’s nothing I can do to force their belief.  All I’m really saying is, think about what purpose each thing you say serves, and whether it’s taking it a step too far, which I think you have personally.

So, I replied with saying the point of this blog is not to offend, but understand it is bound to happen.  I’m really not anti-religion and many readers here are active members in mainstream religions. Part of what I do here is question ideas considered rude to question. I think it’s a dangerous situation for institutions and ideas to be above scrutiny.  Christians often threaten nonbelievers with THEIR hell-place for various sins or sinful lifestyles – either explicitly, or indirectly, or in a judging veiled-friendliness sort of way.  But nonbelievers DON’T BELIEVE IN YOUR HELL.  Aside from the fact that I find it offensive the idea that I need a rulebook to define my morality, it is a strange proposition to be invited to believe in scripture in order to be saved from a consequence of it.  So, understand that around here there is an effort not to offend people, but at the same take a hard look at the strange business of religion.

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I saw your retarded fuck of a bastard blog and asked myself “why?” but then, there are a lot of crackheads in the world, and you seem to be one of the more insane ones. This is a joke blog, right? Can you honestly tell yourself that you truly believe in this load of shit you spew regularly? For your own health, I ask you to stop whatever the fuck you’re smoking.

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Wow, what a scam you have used to set yourself up with money and Im guessing fame and all the stupid bimbos and other trappings it all brings. Just remember, since there is no god or religion there is nothing wrong with killing some low life, “educated” or not (or any other act). As an exemplar of life without a God, there is nothing keeping people from acting out against others in any capacity other than the relatively obscure chance of being caught. I personally believe in God. I like to think that I am held responsible at a higher level than what man does. I do like to think there’s more. I hope you pay for your actions sooner or later in life. I’m sure you will at some point.

So, I replied….    The majority of Christians who email understand general purpose here and the purpose is not to mock them as individuals. Most Christians who I’ve talked to see problems with organized religion and the abuses and fraud that get tied up with faith and power. For the most part I think I do a good job of turning down the volume of what I really think, and I think that’s a healthy thing. Just as Christians have a few members who will be riled enough to write nasty emails to me, there will times I get riled enough to respond in kind. But the majority of the time I’m pretty reasonable and rational.

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This is the most fucking pathetic excuse for a blog I think I’ve ever encountered. Why do you have to make fun of my religion, and others? Seriously, stop making fun of other religions. Okay, you are the most twisted, racist fucking bastard on the planet. Why, do you have to make fun of other religions? Probably because you want to just kick back and laugh at other people, and bash them. That’s why. Your version of heaven sucks huge fucking dicks. I don’t want strippers in heaven because they are all nasty as fuck. You aren’t even trying, and your version of Hell is the most retarded thing I’ve ever heard of. When you’re already DEAD it doesn’t FUCKING MATTER. Fuck you sir, don’t be suprised when you die if you burn in Hell, because I am a solid Christian and I am praying for you, and I really hate that you have to MOCK other religions. You are very sick, and I hope that you burn in Hell. Don’t be suprised if you get sued for being such a TWISTED FUCKING DOUCHEBAG!

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It is disheartening at least and sickening at worst that you sought to make a blog solely to promote your foolish beliefs, serious or not. Let’s see your lack of deity save your soul and work miracles. I am sincerely concerned for your sanity, but I don’t give a damn if God strikes you dead. How dare you mock the Father in such a manner? To be atheistic is expected, as humans have little faith for what cannot be seen. But to mock the religions of others? That is to stoop lower, into the depths of Hell itself. You are hardly worthy of being Satan’s pet pig. Swine. Nothing more than something to be sneered at for smelliness. You and your so-called followers sicken me.

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After reading some of the posts on your blog, I have come to the conclusion that you aren’t so concerned with the question of why you are here but rather in proving that your existence is without meaning and therefore does not qualify itself to be questioned. Congratulations! You are meaningless. So what do we do now that we’ve settled that little philosophical debate? Are you up for a drinks and strippers or should we just stand still still until the next random event pushes us in some direction?

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You poke fun at God and are a disgrace to him and religion. You need to repent and ask for his forgiveness. You should be ashamed of the trash you write and your completely unfunny sarcasm. God has reserved a special place for people like you and it is in a very warm climate, and you will be on vacation for eternity. You will have allot of company with you and that is your so called fans. May God have mercy on all of your souls !

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And here is where I make the choice to end it all, well not all, but this small sampling is the fun shit that has been emailed or sent as comments to different posts I have presented over the last few weeks. There are 196 more that generally all say the same thing, these just stood out in their originality so I decided to share. Such a small percentage of posts here are religion related but those are the ones that people get butthurt about. As far as my so called religion or my so called church, I don’t get how idiots can get that idea in the first place. My writing is, at most, pretty fucking sarcastic, I just write about my opinions, and bullshit like this makes me question my own motives as well as the motives of the people who read this blog. Perhaps we should try reading the non religious themed posts to get a better idea of what I really think. This blog is an illusional mirror of life, not just mine, but yours too. All I’m saying is we all make choices, some people come here with the intent to complain and others come here to see what they know I offer, which isn’t much, but at times can be very revealing, no pun intended. So, my message to the haters is to lighten up or piss up a rope in a south wind.

And for the final time, I have formed NO religion, NO cult, and NO church. You have misinformed your self looking through life with that single lens. I don’t hate your religion, I just want to be a part of your religion and I want it to be outside of my life in general. But, by all means, twist that around as well, because that is what I’ve come to expect. If you made it to this part of the post, thanks for hanging in there, I hope you didn’t choke on anything on your way down to the bottom here. Until next time, be safe and be kind. Or, just do whatever it is you fucking do.

Why I Stepped Foot In Church

Normally I would not attempt the madness called church on my own, but this last time I went to church not to be preached at, but to enjoy the music of the church symphony orchestra which has a member who is like one of my own children. We go to all of her events, in school or in church. I enjoy the way she can make the cello talk to you, she’s finishing out her freshman year of high school, but listening to her play that cello one would never guess her young age. It may just be my opinion, but she is great. So, that’s what led me to church, I enjoy the way she plays, it makes everything in life, the problems and troubles, just fade into the background where they belong. But, that’s not why we are here today, today I’m going to discuss how my attire was not proper enough to be in a church. Clearly there is confusion, unless you are looking to be offended that I’m not in slacks, a nice shirt, a tie, a jacket, and shiny shoes with a belt to match, oh wait, you are. All I can ask is why? Especially since this wasn’t a “service”, it was a performance.

I wore what I would wear pretty much anywhere, black Wrangler jeans (no holes, clean), black leather belt, 3 button shirt (black in color, no logo, clean), black gator skin cowboy boots (polished, clean), and a black Stetson with a simple silver band (Stetson is a name/brand/style of a cowboy hat). So, it wasn’t as if I showed up wearing surf shorts, tank top, flip flops, and a ball cap. This is my basic “dress up” clothes, also good for funerals, weddings, and graduations. In fact, after walking in, finding our seat in the main hall (we picked 5 out of the nearly 1300 chairs, its a big Baptist church), I removed my hat, placing it in the seat next to me on my right with my wife on the left. Clearly I’m not a member of this church, I’m here as a guest with invitation in hand, given to me by my other “daughter”. After the 2 hour performance which resulted in a standing ovation and constant applause for the 62 members of the symphony orchestra, it was time to stand in the walkways to hug, shake hands, and chat, all of which I did while standing there wearing my hat. Some would say I stand out above the crowd being I’m 6’8″ to begin with. But people focused on more, people focused on the fact that I was wearing jeans and I had a hat on in church.

The message I received loud and clear from mr. preacher man was that my attire was not proper and will not be welcome in the future, this was said in a snotty rude way, very derogatory and unappreciated by me. I was left with but one option, in my opinion, which was to lean in to him, getting my lips very close to his ear as I pulled him close by the shoulder to say “go fuck yourself”, then I kissed him on the cheek, shook his now trembling hand, and walked out. I never looked back, no need to look back. Shortly after I see my wife and kids following up in my footsteps, we get in the truck, and we left. My wife did not become aware that anything was even said until a few days later, when she spoke with the preachers wife, who she knows outside the church professionally. Of course she asked if it was true, of course I told her it was, and no more was said about it. That whole night does nothing but reinforce my dislike for organized religion, I did nothing wrong and his actions/words cannot be justified in my opinion. Since when do I need to be dressed a certain way to be inside a church, no matter what is going on? So, I got to thinking that I had some thoughts to discuss, and in a long drawn out way that is why everyone was invited here today. So lets begin.

The so-called worship wars of recent years may have produced a winner. Many congregations/denominations remain divided between traditional and contemporary styles of “church”, but in most places the contemporary appears to have gained the upper hand. Your worship services have become increasingly relaxed and informal affairs. You can see it in what people are wearing. Church for today’s worshipers is not a dress-up event. Whatever is clean and comfortable seems sufficient. When it comes to church, attire doesn’t much matter. Most people I have spoke with over the years understand there is nothing particularly spiritual about a dress or a coat and tie. I was even told by a Sunday school teacher of my son’s that God is scarcely impressed by such things as clothes. She quoted something to me that day, “People look at the outward appearance,” we are reminded, “but the Lord looks at the heart”.

I do not intend to wade into the broader debate over worship styles; that’s a different discussion. But I do wish to raise a question about this fucking outdated way of thinking that when it comes to public worship since my clothing matters so much. This common assumption, it seems to me, deserves more scrutiny than it typically receives. Over the last several generations, American attire in general has lurched dramatically toward the informal. A feature that quickly dates an old photograph, just look at a picture of your grandparents. The changes are part of a broad shift toward the convenient, comfortable, and individuality. It’s a shift we see on display everywhere we go each day. Ever been to Walmart?  It’s easy to imagine how one might look over-dressed there, but less easy, short of immodesty, to imagine being under-dressed. Jeans or shorts, tee shirts or tank tops, flip-flops or sandals: these draw scarcely any attention, while full dresses or a suit and tie appear strangely out of place. Relaxed, even rumpled informality is in; suiting up in your “Sunday best” is out.

Many seem convinced it’s a good thing, because, again, it’s the heart that counts. Yet precisely for this reason, because it’s the heart that counts, I want to suggest that what we wear in our public worship may matter more than we think. To grasp this connection, let us extract some helpful insights from daily communication we all see. Verbal behavior refers to all those ways we use language to communicate: speaking, writing, sign language, etc. Nonverbal behavior focuses on all those ways we communicate without words: facial expression, gesture, posture, eye behavior, vocal inflection, our use of space, or touch behavior. In our everyday relationships only a small percentage of what we communicate is conveyed via verbal channels. The rest is conveyed nonverbally.

The avenue of nonverbal communication I will call one’s physical appearance and dress shows more about a person than words, or does it?. Here are a handful of observations based on our human interactions.

The wearing of clothing is exclusively a human characteristic. We share many attributes with other creatures, but the inclination to clothe ourselves is not one of them. Where, if any, is there a moral or even a spiritual dimension to human clothing? Why is so much emphasis put on clothing? Our clothes serve a variety of practical, social, and cultural functions. Protection and modesty spring first to mind, but our clothes do far more. We sometimes dress to conceal or deceive. More often our clothes serve to reveal. We use clothing for decoration, for sexual attraction, for self-expression and self-assertion. By our attire we display our gender, our religion, our occupation, our social position, or causes with which we identify. Many dress to impress, while others choose the reverse: they express their rejection by intentionally flouting accepted clothing norms.

Our clothing is one of our most elemental forms of communication. Long before our voice is heard, our clothes are transmitting multiple messages. From our attire, others immediately read not only such things as our sex, age, national identity, socio-economic status, and social position, but also our mood, our attitudes, our personality, our interests, and our values. We constantly make judgments about one another on the basis of clothing. Common wisdom has it that you can’t judge a book by its cover. But this is only partly true; we regularly read one another’s covering. What’s more, we’re better at it than we think.  We spend our lives making judgments based on appearance and then testing those judgments in our subsequent relationships. In this way, we become rather adept at the process. Judgments based on appearance are rarely fucking accurate, of course, and we are wise to hold them tentatively. But it’s almost impossible to avoid making them in the first place.

Because our clothing is one of the fundamental ways we communicate with others, what we wear is never a purely personal matter. Our attire exerts a social influence on those around us. What we wear can shape patterns of communication around us, depending on what messages people are picking up. Consider, for example, the varied cues we send by the way we dress: “I want people to notice me.” “I’m very confident.” “I want to hide.” “I care only about comfort.” “I want to look seductive.” “I repudiate you and your expectations.”

How we dress not only affects us individually; it also affects those around us. How we feel and who we are influences the clothes we put on or leave off, and the clothes we put on in turn shape how we feel. Changes of clothes can generate a change of mood. As an example, I felt different in my Air Force uniform than I did in street clothes. In some settings our choice of clothing can make or break us. If we like the way we look for a job interview, for instance, it will tend to strengthen our confidence. We feel better about our chances, as reflected in improved posture, more fluent speech, more dynamic gestures. On the other hand, inappropriate dress can suck the fucking life out of our confidence. We have all experienced the uncomfortable effects of feeling under-dressed or over-dressed in a particular social setting.

Much of the social meaning of our clothing is contextual. The appropriateness of our clothing is often dictated by the situation. Dress that would send a given message in one setting might send a very different message in another. Times change, values change, situations change; what was proper ten years ago may not be proper today, or vice versa. All of the above is why we should not conclude too quickly that because God looks on the heart, what we wear to church doesn’t matter. Our internal and external states cannot be so easily disentangled. The fact is, when it comes to how we clothe ourselves, our external appearance is often an expression of our internal state.

What is worship, after all? It’s the act of acknowledging and praising God as God. Is that not a personal choice? According to my wife, “when worshipping, we come before God with awe and reverence, focusing on him in loving contemplation, celebrating him for who he is and what he has done. We willingly bow before him in surrender, delighting in the privilege of extolling his worthiness. In worship we join our small voices with the celestial choirs in a grand chorus magnifying the Creator and declaring his excellences, his purity, his power, his beauty, his grace, his mercy, and his love.” No, I do not agree, but we smile and agree that will do not agree. In reference to what she said, I ask, can’t that be done naked or in a suit of medieval armor? I think the term “stink-eye” covers the expression on her face the best, she was giving it to me.

According to the bible (yes, I’ve read the bible a time or three in my life), God called his people to public worship. It’s everywhere in the Bible. Your corporate worship of organized religion is supposed to please God? Everyone who has ever built a fire knows how quickly lone embers cool and die. But gather those embers and they create a furnace effect that burns hot. Corporate worship of organized religion is no different, its designed to generate that furnace effect in people. Where there is collective thought there is collective action, do as the crowd or the crowd will be undone, the absolute fear of the sheeple culture.

So what sort of clothing might benefit such an exalted occasion? Observers in the gallery of the United States Supreme Court are forbidden to wear hats. Out of respect for the importance of what’s taking place there, the Court’s firm rule for visitors is, “Inappropriate clothing may not be worn.” If this is so for a merely human institution, what might be suitable attire for God-honoring worship? Must there be a rule, must we give a shit, must it cause such an uprising within the walls of the churches of organized religion? Readers will be relieved that I have no dress code to be here at The Sting Of The Scorpion Blog. Read at will, however you are dressed, you will not be judged here in the House of Scorpion. But why don’t I care how you are dressed? Why do I not feel the need to judge how you dress when you are doing what you are doing? I reserve the right to judge you only at Walmart and Starbucks, y’all know who you are and why.

That which is special, that which is our best, that which is sacrificial: We may be tempted to think such standards made sense in the context of Israel’s ancient worship but have little to do with us in the modern world. After all, none of us shows up at church on Sunday morning bearing sacrifices now do you. Everyone has their own reasons for going to church, some go to worship, some to ask for forgiveness of their sins, and one of us went to hear the incredible musical talents of a young girl whom he adores as his own. If you ask me, which your not going to, so I’ll just say it now, I don’t think any of us belong in a church. Salvation isn’t found in church in words translated 10,000 times over by MEN who aren’t concerned about me and you. Think about it. Want a “relationship” with God? You want something/someone to believe in for the comfort of your soul? How do men give that to you? How do you really know what are looking for in the first place?

The question for all of you is this: When you gather for worship, does this sacred event generate within you any similar sense of “awe and reverence”? A perceptive observer of the contemporary church scene might be forgiven for scratching her head over such a question, wondering whether you have grown oblivious to the significance of your own gathering. How often, she might ask you, do you prepare for Sunday as if it mattered, guarding, for example, Saturday nights so as to be fresh and focused the next morning? How come your pre-service gathering so often sounds more like a bowling alley than a people meeting to offer themselves fresh to their God? How is it you are so susceptible to the lure of personality and entertainment up front, obscuring the God-centered purpose for which you have met? How prevalent is the notion that you can worship just as well at home, or on the golf course, or before a TV screen, or perhaps forfeit worship altogether due to inconvenient weather, the priority of other things, or who may be preaching that week?

Not just anything will do when you come before God. He is still honored by what is holy, what is our best, what is sacrificial. The kingdom to which you have come, says the writer to the Hebrews, requires us to “offer to God acceptable worship with reverence and awe,” because “our ‘God is a consuming fire” (Heb. 12:28–29). The casual attitude toward worship may indicate that you have failed to grasp this important point, a sign of your being more conformed to this world than so transformed in your minds that by testing you are able to discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Don’t you know you are not allowed to make your own decisions? What of your church attire? You deceive yourselves when you breezily claim that God does not care what you wear to church. God cares about your hearts, and what you wear is often an expression of your hearts. So what does your relaxed worship attire say about you? What internal disposition are we revealing when we dress no differently for church than we do for a trip to the mall or hanging out with friends around a barbeque grill? Could it be that our casual dress, chosen merely for our own comfort and convenience is a reflection of an equally casual, can’t-be-bothered attitude toward worship itself? What about those around you? What message is your choice of clothing sending them as you gather for worship?

Can Christians who gather for worship afford to ignore what their church attire may be saying to those around them? Does your choice of clothing communicate to others that this gathering is an important occasion, thereby encouraging them to see it as important as well? Or does it send them in the opposite direction? Why is it that the wrong clothes can distract your fellow worshipers.In this way and others your choice of clothing can be sinful. But this does not render your everyday (“common”), come-as-you-are attire “spiritual” or “honest.” If you care for your fellow worshipers as you ought to, you will take them into consideration as you dress for worship. We will clothe ourselves in ways that edify them and strengthen their own worship. We will attempt to avoid the nonchalant attitude that says this event is entirely routine; that it merits nothing special from me; that my only consideration in what I choose to wear is what is easiest and most convenient. Such a self-centered attitude is corrosive to a true spirit of worship. Instead, the goal in our choice of clothing should be to express to the Lord and those around us that this event matters, that I view it as a holy occasion, one which deserves our highest regard. If the first audience for our nonverbal messages is God himself, and secondarily, our fellow worshipers, dress that best suits these first two audiences may also serve a third: outsiders who join your public worship.

Evangelistic gatherings can in many ways be designed to fit the unbelievers you are trying to reach. But this is harder to do with your corporate worship. The church must first shape its worship to honor God, a goal to which all else must be subordinate. But thankfully, watching believers do what they do can have its own evangelistic effect. Attire that genuinely reflects a God-honoring attitude toward worship may well contribute to a similar result. Can you take a wild guess at what that is? You can guess until you are blue in the gills but you will never truly have your own answer unless it is spoon fed to you, just my personal opinion of course.

None of anything I have said above leaves us with a dress code for being in church, no matter the reason. It certainly does not translate automatically into coats and ties for men and fancy dresses for women. Idealizing bygone eras won’t work here; the meaning of human clothing is too contextual for that. It varies too widely from place to place and time to time, and there are too many other variables to consider. We are left having to judge for ourselves what is appropriate for worship and what is not. Every denomination has their own dress code and rules, whether you want to admit it or not, they do. Want to know my rule? Fuck your dress code!

However, all of the above should at least warn you away from the glib assumption that God actually cares about what we wear to church; or that what I choose to wear in church matters. How I dress is a purely personal affair and that my own convenience and comfort are all that need concern me. The truth is, one of the ways we express ourselves as human beings is by the way we dress. Wittingly or unwittingly, our clothing gives us away. God certainly does not need this expression to know your hearts. But as for the rest of us, we do indeed look on the outward appearance, even when peering into our own mirrors. In this way the clothes we choose for church may have things to tell us about our hearts that God already knows, but that you need to hear from other people because you thrive on judgment of yourself as well as others.

You express this embodiment totality in the corporate worship of organized religion through your shared symbols, rites, and rituals; through your posture and gestures as you bow, kneel, or lift your hands; through your actions when you stand or sit in unison or pour out your hearts musically in congregational song. Just remember, your clothing belongs on this list. By it we express to God and those around us what the occasion of being in church means to you. This is why we are taught, brainwashed, when we come to church, our clothing matters.

Wow, that turned into something sermon like. Wait, all of you reading this will burn in hell unless you……. Unless what? I mentioned before, in the House of Scorpion you are free to do as you see fit how you see fit doing it. I have mentioned once, a long time ago, my own convictions and why I have them, so I will not repeat them now. I also mentioned, some of you may find it very fucking hard to believe tho, that in my youth it was my desire to become a Catholic priest. I wanted to be the one bringing the message to the people, I had many years of education for this purpose, many years I allowed myself to be brainwashed, many years of dismissing my own questions and answers, and ending in disappointment because I started to choke on the bullshit being fed me. Who is at fault for my misguidance? Why, me, of course. Something I corrected and haven’t looked back upon. Or have I? As years have passed, I continue in my reading about the commercialization of corporate organized religion, a term many Christians do not like hearing because they don’t like hearing that they are but a cog in a wheel that is just spinning in circles. But, as are most things written here, they are just my opinions on the world around me. I am not wishing to do battle with the “church” or religion or Christians, but I will not be treated as if my mere appearance is so non conformant that it tarnishes the grace of the church I stand in, to watch a symphony concert no less. Next time, yes there will be a next time, I will go in my slacks (dress pants), but I will be wearing flip-flops bitches!

What have we learned today? Not that I was teaching anything, but I’m curious if you have made the choice to look at what is actually important. What is more important, the message or the dress code? This is on my rather lengthy list of why I don’t attend church services. How can Christianity dismiss everything around us, science, evolution, dreams, and individual thought? I don’t want to be part of the “collective”, I prefer not to be in the herd of sheeple looking for salvation. Salvation from what? Damnation from what? One day we need to discuss corruption, greed, and our sinister needs to be one step ahead of our neighbor. I’m pretty sure we all want the same thing, just to live a happy life, a life we see fit, a life we are comfortable living. Until then, we struggle with our own happiness because that is what we are fucking taught to do after generations of brainwashing we don’t want it any other way. Why do we need to be led? Why do you desire being led? Why? Sorry, I can’t answer why, you must first look into the mirror and decide if you are comfortable in your our skin, then you can start asking fucking questions you might not like the answers to. We must all live with who we are individually to be happy, we can’t do that as sheeple, we can’t do that as a part of the collective thought. Who knew, right?

Until we speak again, I leave y’all with a final thought. I do care about my fellow humans, probably to a degree that few of y’all could ever understand. But, it’s hard to sit by idle and watch us destroy ourselves over stupid shit that doesn’t matter in the first place. Here’s an idea, find the person you cherish and live a happy life. The end my friends, the end. For fun, before y’all leave, get a better understanding of the sheeple by reading The Parable Of The Sheep found in the tabs above as well.

Is A Deal With Satan Very Practical?

Wait! Before we start reading and thinking thoughts for yourselves, let me take a few moments to explain. I was reminded of this post, which I wrote some six years ago in response to some Christian heckling and badgering I was being abused with and with what I was being accused of. It became personal, real personal because at the time I operated using my real identity, something I no longer choose to do. What was what I was being accused of? Since I don’t align myself with Christianity, Atheism, or any form of religion in my life, I must just be a straightup Satan worshipper who was put here on planet dirt to walk eternally without rest while I rape, pillage, and steal, to include soul snatching. I found out after the fact that it was a senior member of a local Catholic church trying to make a point with his flock of sheeple, nothing personal of course. Well, the very last post that I wrote on my angelfire blog and the introductory post when I started at blogspot is the one you will eventually read below because I just wanted to share.

Why bring it back from the dead know? Excellent question. Earlier today, while I was sitting at the bank pleading my case for a line if credit cash advance I was asked to fill out and sign many forms, guaranteeing repayment in a timely manner or they would be forced to close on title and deed which would be securing the loan. After reading the fine print and the print in bold, I chose to cancel the deal, which pissed off the banker because I wasted her precious time. It was at that moment I recalled this post about cutting deals with Satan and couldn’t wait to see if I could retrieve it from angelfire. So, no loan in exchange for my soul today, maybe I can pimp myself out, I’d fuck me for a couple of bucks for sure. But enough about me, enjoy the rest of the post, just remember it was written for fun, to spark a laugh, and to get people to think about what is actually important in their lives. Let this be the prime example of what can happen when, as a Catholic student, you are forced to read, memorize, and recite all things Christian and biblical because you can regurgitate it at will many years later with little to no effort at all. If y’all are ready, let’s proceed. By the way, the graphic at the end of the post, remains today the most “clicked” picture I have ever posted out of all three blogs. Do you dare click it? Do you roll the dice? I wonder what happens when you do. Happy reading.

C’mon, do it! Everybody’s doing it.

Welcome to the Sell Your Soul To Satan Online Portal. One of the most delightful facets of the internet is it’s commercial aspect, which allows consumers and vendors to easily link up in cyberspace to form any kind of desirable transaction. Previously, selling one’s soul to Satan has been a ridiculously inconvenient process, fraught with all varieties of difficulty. Now, with online vending, we are able to swiftly provide premium services to that lucky mortal seeking diabolic servitude. Today, we are able to provide more for less, due to the ingenious designs of our infernal president and CEO, Satan himself.

In past decades, merely trying to sell one’s soul was a prickly deal. Firstly, the complex technical knowledge of sorcery sufficient to elicit the attention of Satan has been so forbidding, that anyone capable of summoning Satan had very little need to actually do so, being able to obtain virtually everything else via dark magic. Secondly, pacts formed with, (unbeknownst to the mortal in question), unlicensed demonic tempters, often resulted in highly unsatisfactory pacts by both mortal and infernal standards. Thirdly, even demonic tempters licensed for seduction and glamour by Satan took a heavy cut out of the profit of the operation. So little was left over for Satan himself, that the miracles being offered became progressively flimsier, until finally it took three entire souls and a goat sacrifice to afford a night of sex with the celebrity of your choice. Fourthly, in this age of numerous contagious blood diseases, it was considered a potential violation of contract if for some reason an individual became ill by a chance contact with an infernal pact. Red ink was used very briefly, but it was deemed wise to let go of some traditions in order to capitalize on a rapidly expanding and forward-looking marketplace. Lastly, one can buy and sell anything on the internet for the right price.

These problems are no longer, because with online vending, Satan has cut out the middle entity and deals with you directly a few clicks of a mouse.

Damn good!

A great deal of misconception needs to be dealt with, as financial and spiritual dealings with Satan have gotten an undeserved bad rap. We suspect Christian infiltration at the highest levels. Firstly; temporarily laid off though he is, Satan is an Archangel and as such is totally incapable of lying. Secondly; Satan is largely responsible for the expulsion from Eden, which though fairly inconvenient for our distant ancestors, has since paved the way for our entire textile and fashion industries, among others. Thirdly; Satan did Fall because of the sin of Pride, and as such he is proud to serve you with unblemished professionalism and zeal. Fourthly; Satan understands the meaning of commitment, as he has continually provided his services and his institutions, with incomparable reliability for an ongoing two billion years. Few others have such impressive credentials.

Damned if you do.

Satan, being something of an expert in all of the reasonably well known vices, and well versed in the generalities of the more obscure ones, can provide your strangest fantasies at your merest whim. Nevertheless, tradition being what it is, one must be legally bound to Satan before the downpour of goodies begins. Over the years, a fairly straightforward (read: no fine print!) introductory pact has been developed to get one going down the road to happiness, fulfillment and eternal damnation, right away.

Introductory Pact

I relinquish the ownership of my immortal soul into the keeping of Satan, the Master of Evil Demons, Commander of all Ungodly Forces and Unclean Spirits, Inventor of the Sin, Eater of Souls, and Chief Torturer of all dead Heathens and Damned Christians. I furthermore give to him and his subservient creatures the rights and privileges and freedoms entitled to me by the Creator of the Universe, whose name I flout. I understand fully that I will live as a creature of sin and an artist of villainy and corruption in this world, and become a slave of evil in the next; property of the diabolic in both. I shall spurn and debase all things worthy and pure, and I shall make ruin my cause and calling. I shall indulge in joyous cruelties from the pettiest to the most maleficent. I swear that I shall curse the names of all the angels of the host of heaven; and with the aid of my Liege, they shall hear me and be tormented thereby. I shall endeveor to commit all kinds of sin and crimes against the Enemy-who-yet-rules, succeed and blacken the soul of the earth. I am a blasphemy. I am one accursed. I am among the host of the damned.

This Pact, binds me to the Eternal Darkness that is Satan in a manner as irrevocable as his fall into the realms of perdition. There, with my new master, I shall remain in torment and unforgiven until the end of the world.

In return for this sacrifice and for my denial of all that is good and redeeming, I will possess money in substantial quantities, the fulfillment of all of my lusts, and the destruction and degradation of all that opposes my whims. I shall overcome with blackness, succeed in monstrosity, vindicate all scorn, by breaking the Whole. In return for the additional corruption of other people, for every one damned and dead that I am responsible for directly, I shall have my life prolonged in health for another two years and a day.

I fully understand the consequences of the signing of this most unholy pact; I proceed willfully, cognizant of my coming privileges and debts. I furthermore promise to fulfill my debt punctually and without resistance, nor will I pray nor plead for my soul in any way, nor attempt to have others plead in my behalf. I confirm this in this covenant more tightly knit than the bonds of life and death. May the Prince of Darkness take pleasure in my gift and my betrayal, and use such to spread his reign further throughout the phenomenal world by annihilating the spiritual.

Optional Packages:

Satan takes great pleasure in serving his customers the most tempting delights imaginable. Though much is included in the Standard Pact, some customers will want something uncommon and specific. After all, not everyone can be President of the United States at the same time and this particular items does need to be regulated for the maintenence of good relationships with other merchants and corporations. Satan keeps a database of people in line for some of these privileged options, and provides them for individuals who have proven valuable, loyal customers.

Other packages are available to current customers merely for the asking, as the Beast (an affectionate term for our CEO we bandy about down here) is generous and loves giving perks to his minions. We find that his bestowal of perks, particularly those which extend the customers’ capacity to sin more emphatically and with greater pride, strengthens the client-vendor relationship in unparalleled ways.

Here is a sampler of the most common “freebie” packages:

A Night of Play and Fantasy: Compensating for scheduling constraints of providing movie stars and fashion models as playthings, the demonologists at Inferno Industries have developed a succubus (and incubus) able to accurately simulate the olfactory, visual, auditory, tactile and gustatory sensations of any person living or dead. Now, without the embarassing smalltalk, you can live out your fantasies with famous actors, actresses, models, artists, historical figures, porn stars, fictional characters, and even people from your own life.

Tickets to the Annual International Black Mass and Satanic Orgy: You can be a celebrity guest at the most exclusive and fun party in the world. Movie stars, rock musicians, champions of industry, religious leaders, witches, vampires, and politicians mingle with famous (and fascinating) demons like Astaroth, Baal, Lilith, Belial, Azazel, Marchosias,  Gumby, and Oprah. At midnight, the throats of thirteen virgins from a diversity of third world countries are slit, and the participants disrobe to fornicate amidst oceans of silk pillows and goblets of wine mixed with virgins blood.

Membership to the Secret Vatican Council: Many individuals are still unaware that Satan’s holding corporations have had a major controlling interest in the Vatican bank since 1946; fairly easy to do since Satan can produce pure gold and precious minerals at a breathtaking speed. What even fewer are aware of is that in the race to form a worldwide conspiracy to match the imaginations of pulp horror authors, Satan was shrewd and bought out someone else’s. This was done entirely behind the scenes, as an alteration in the name or logo of the Roman Catholic Church might slightly interfere with customer loyalty, and thus revenues.

The Roman Catholic Church, partially responsible for the dark ages, instigating the mass executions and torture of countless dissenters, fomenting wars of all varieties, and bent on worldwide religious monopoly, is also a highly aggressive financial institution; having allowed the purchasing of indulgences, and both encouraged and coerced hefty donations from the most seriously impovershed peoples of the world. Its tradition of deceit, brutality and corruption goes back for nearly two millennia, making its transition to diabolic managment policies fairly painless. They are a fine addition to our family of companies.

Now, you can help define the fanatical, reactionary and idolatrous ideologies of the oldest theocratic conspiracy in the western world. Membership in the Secret Vatican Council gives you a brand new identity as a high ranking official in the Vatican heirarchy, with vague and easy-to-abuse powers, and a fearsome reputation. Our fostering of the spurious doctrine of the divine buggery has become a great success story, as thousands of previously celibate officials and religious leaders have found Heaven in each other’s body cavities and those of perplexed choirboys. If you are inventive, have a sadistic streak a mile wide, and enjoy costumes, this option may just be for you.

The Power of Mind Control: You too can join the ranks of Svengali, Rasputin, Mesmer, and the Reverend Jim Jones by becoming a master of telepathic mind control. Fun at parties, but most intriguing for soliciting one night stands and commanding enemies to dry hump the third rail on subway tracks, this freebie option is as potent as the imagination of its possessor.

Black Toad Abortifacients: The one true “morning after pill”, Black Toad has been bringing to consumers the most sophisticated and diabolically correct contraception since 803 A.D.! By applying a pair of attractive skin patches one week (or more) after union, you or your female companion will destroy the embryo and send its soul to Hell for transformation into a familiar spirit for aspiring witches.

Always recycle.

Pollution kills vegitation and wildlife, and Satan is ecologically minded; particularly so when it comes to serpents, spiders, apple trees, belladonna, black cats, goats, sharks, fire ants, hornets, locusts, wolverines, wolves, rats, blood flukes, killer bees, leeches, feral dogs, scorpions, and komodo dragons.

So, click the link below (graphic) to get the ball rolling so you can swiftly become everything you ever desired or lusted for. Go ahead, click it now.

Seems There Is A New Way To Do Church

Friends, family, and some people reading this blog already know that I do not promote things or associate with people, things, or places I do not agree with, more specifically in regards to this post, religion in general or churches in general. Anyway, a certain someone decided to spam a post of mine this morning, just to let me know she was checking out my site which must be devil’s work because of the immoral content I post, even on Sundays. Why did I decide to click the link?  Quite simply, it intrigued me just enough to spark interest. To tell y’all the truth, I appreciate the style and how the website’s information was written, especially about the hate mail. While reading, however, I quickly became frustrated because they left out a very important reason people not unlike myself don’t attend church. We don’t attend church because we don’t agree with the message, the brain washing, or the intentions. It really doesn’t matter how hip or fun the church is, the brain washing will always be the same. For some examples, I borrowed the following information from the Eagle Pointe Church website and I even provide you with the link so you can see. I’m sure this is a nice place, but it isn’t a place I will be visiting, consider me one of those unreachable people discussed below.

Eagle Pointe Church

Who we are: about us.

Our goal to bring together and develop a family (a tribe; a group of people) that are willing to do anything short of sin to reach people for Jesus (As long as idea is not unbiblical, unethical, immoral or illegal then it is on the table.) This means that we will do things other churches won’t do in order to reach people other churches are not reaching.

“Church for People Who Don’t ‘Do’ Church!“: We strive to be the church that non-church people love to attend. What does this look like:

Traditional in our Theology but very Modern and Untraditional in our Methodology (how we do it). We understand God’s word never changes, but the way we communicate and present His word to the world must constantly be changing. At Eagle Pointe we use every creative resource available (video, creative illustrations, humor, drama, “secular” music, and relevant messages) to communicate Biblical truths in a way that helps long-time Christians, non-Christians, and everyone in between take their lives to the next level and be able to understand the Bible and apply it to their everyday lives.

“This Ain’t Your Grandma’s Church”:

A church that establishes a tradition of being untraditional – where change is expected and embraced. A church that lives out the concept that it is not “Religion” it is a “Relationship.” A church that is more into following Jesus than church-ianity. We strive to create a culture more focused on helping non-church people who did not grow up in the church feel welcome than creating a place where church people feel comfortable. (Jesus came to invite the outsider, not coddle the insider) BTW: Before sending hate email, please know that we have grandma’s who come and love our church, and who love us using that tag line.

A church that brings people in, builds them up, equips them, and then sends them out on a mission.

We are actively involved in our communities reaching out to “people who don’t ‘do’ church”! We mobilize, equip, & send people out to serve locally at children’s homes, homeless shelters, doing mini-home improvement makeovers for single moms & senior citizens, & much more.

We support schools & feeding programs in the Philippines. We have built a church, run medical clinics, work with orphanges, & regularly send med/const mission teams to Haiti.

Many people in the “church world” joke that Eagle Pointe is more of a “missions organization”, than we are a church in the traditional American sense. We take that as a compliment! We believe that when you look at the 1st century church, which is supposed to be the model for every church that followed, that they were much more of a missions organization.

We invite you to come & join us as we lead people to “Love God – Love Others – & Serve the World!“

Who we are: what to expect

Basically, you can “Expect the Unexpected”.

Expect the Unexpected when you walk in:

If you have never been to church, or come from a very traditional church back ground, you might be surprised by our laid back approach on Sunday mornings. When you come to one of our services we want you to come as you are… the real you. If you like suits and ties that’s fine, but the pastor will most likely be wearing jeans, and a whatever style shirt he has on we can guarantee it will almost never be tucked in. Some argue that you should dress up for church to give “God your best”. We know that God looks past what you are wearing and sees straight into your heart. He cares more about what is on the inside than how you cover the outside. So come as you are, God loves you and so will Eagle Pointe Church.

Expect the Unexpected in our services:

At Eagle Pointe we believe that boring church is a sin, and that is why at Eagle Pointe we use every creative resource available – video, creative illustrations, humor, drama/skits, modern “secular” music, and relevant messages that help people on Monday through Saturday, not just on Sundays. You never know exactly what is coming from one service to the next. The one thing you can always expect is that God’s word will be presented in a relevant way and help you see how you can apply it to your everyday life.

Expect the Unexpected in our community:

This is where we tend to upset a lot of more traditional churches and christians (but that’s okay, we’re used to people being ticked off at us). Again, Jesus came to invite the outsider, not coddle the insider! In addition to a tremendous amount of local mission work, we also do big events in our community like our “I Am That Hero 5K” – a 5K & family festival where everyone dresses up like superheroes and honors our community’s local heroes. We do motorcycle poker runs and benefit concerts at local bars, and more. There are many reasons why we do these things: to honor local heroes, help causes in our community, raise money for mission work in Haiti and the Philipinnes, etc. However, a big part of the reason is that why are trying to reach out to and connect with people no other churches are reaching (those who don’t ‘do’ church). We believe it is our responsibility to go to where the people are, not sit around hoping they come to us (we’re pretty sure that’s what Jesus did).

Is Jesus In The Hearts Of Strippers?

The following paragraphs were sent to me via email by a young lady I know who wishes her identity remain concealed for the time being. Fair enough. It was not stated where she acquired the story from so I am a little leery posting it, but it is an interesting story which I wanted to share because people have predetermined conclusions about strippers and their lifestyles. In the past I have written about Jesus and God and the role they sometimes play in a strippers mind which were based solely on conversations I had with a young lady from a small church group who wanted to bring strippers into their place of worship. I think this article might have something to do with that group because it all sounds very familiar. This post is generally not something I would touch but since I have some personal experiences I think it will all work out just fine. Let it be known that the opinions held below are not if my own and I neither affirm or decline them since I will remain neutral. However, at the end of the post I will make my remarks and my opinions, neither which will be entirely based in the words written by this person. Its definitely an interesting point of view, so please enjoy.

“Those words, “Jesus Loves Strippers”, written in big, pink, girly letters, graced the front of a little black book small enough to fit in a purse. Inside were the Gospel of John and several testimonies of people formerly in the sex industry who had been radically saved by Jesus. The book lay there conspicuously among the lipsticks, nail polishes, eye shadows, and other goodies we had arranged on the counter for the women to sift through and choose from. The woman who finally chose the book was actually the last person in the dressing room of that strip club I had expected would interact with our outreach team.

“Am I Less Than?” She was rocking some seriously toned arms, had an extremely tough countenance, and was putting off a definite “don’t-mess-with-me” vibe. So when she picked up the book and started asking us questions, I was shocked. She tapped her finger on the word “loves” and boldly and sincerely asked our team, “Does He really? Am I less than to Him because of what I do?” A member of our team swooped in and immediately began telling her about how much God loves her and that He had sent us here to give her that very message. She didn’t know about the Savior because all the Christians she had encountered had joined right along with the world in demeaning her. She was expecting God to do the same.

Up until that point, she had only been met with condemnation from Christians who had chosen to degrade her character right alongside the men in the clubs who exploited her. She didn’t yet know about the Savior who sets us free; the Savior who convicts but never condemns; the Savior who loves her so immensely. She didn’t yet know the Father who created her and saw her as lovely; the Father who longs to be in relationship with her; the Father who longs to bless her; the Father who gave up and sacrificed His own Son so that He could have her as His own daughter. She didn’t know because no one had ever told her or shown her. She didn’t know because all the Christians she had encountered had joined right along with the world in demeaning her. She was expecting God to do the same.

A Better Answer. In rejecting sexual immorality, we have a tendency to also reject people who are enslaved by the spirit of lust and perversion, especially women and girls! Women and girls who are simply trying to survive in a pornified culture. Girls who don’t know the freedom found in Christ because we’ve not offered it to them. Women who look at the Church and see the same degradation found in the strip club. They feel demeaned and vilified for conforming to culture no matter where they turn. It’s completely understandable that they would choose, therefore, to stay within the context of culture rather than seek refuge in the Church. Popular culture is familiar and the Church doesn’t feel at all like a refuge. Christ is stirring His Bride to go after the lost daughters and shower them with His love and honor.

We have to have a better answer than that, and I believe we do! I’m on the front lines of this fight and I must tell you that I am beginning to see a huge shift in the way the Body of Christ is responding to women, and I’m so encouraged by it! Christ is stirring His Bride to go after the lost daughters and shower them with His love and honor. And from what I’ve seen, it works. The same woman who asked us if Jesus really did love her is now no longer working in the sex industry. But more important than that, she found out that, YES! He really does love her.

An Inventory of Our Hearts. I want to invite and urge each of us to take a sincere inventory of our own hearts. Ask yourself these questions:How do I really feel about the so-called “soiled” woman? Do I have God’s attitude toward her? What’s my first thought when I see a girl’s selfie in my Twitter feed that is not quite so G-rated? Do I judge her, or do I have compassion for her?How do I really feel about that promiscuous girl in my class? Do I keep my distance or am I open to God using me to show her His love?These are questions you must answer, because she’s asking you another question. She’s asking you, “Does He really love me?” Here’s a hint: God loves her as much as He loves you. Why not go show and tell her?”

So, what did we think? I like the line that she claims to be on the front lines of the battle. Really, what “battle”? As we all know I do not claim a particular faith and the way the person wrote this based on her beliefs is 75% percent why. To me, in my opinion, it is because of her judgment that she feels the stripper needs saving. Saved from what? Saved from a lifestyle Christians don’t approve of? I think if Christianity, god, and Jesus were all cracked up to be to match all the hype then the minions wouldn’t have to be out recruiting. But, I am probably wrong, I can only see the approach from the outside looking in. There is just so much that pisses me off about this article so I will probably leave it right here and call it the end before anybody gets their feelings hurt. I’m not Christian bashing, its just not the lifestyle for me personally.

Posted From Scorpion Sting’s Motorola Droid Maxx!

Say It Best With A Church Sign

Should We Question Everything?

The simple answer to that question is, yes, yes we should question everything. How do we better understand anything in our life if we do not ask questions? One will never hear me tell anyone that they shouldn’t ask questions, that one shouldn’t be curious, or that something simply does not have an answer. There are answers for most things if we look hard enough. Some questions are tougher than others and there are times where my knowledge as a father really get stretched to the limit. I will premise this post with letting y’all know that I do not push my beliefs (or lack there of) on anyone, especially my children who I remind when needed that my choices are mine and they need to find the answers to make their own choices.

Last night my son had choir practice at the church my wife and children attend. Not that it matters much, but it is billed as a non-denominational church. As we are pulling into the parking lot, my son, out of the blue, asks “dad, what is a christian atheist”? I asked him what would make him want to ask me such a question. So he pointed to the marquee sign where this particular church put upcoming events and so forth. He was right, there is was. It read “Christian? Atheist?…………..Christian Atheist?” The sign was bewildering, I had this stuck in my head and couldn’t shake it, I had to keep looking back at it, reading it, thinking, reading it. What’s the deal, why am I thinking about this? After a few minutes, my son reminds me that if we stay in the car, he will be late for choir practice. We get out of the car, I had to look back one more time, just to see if the sign still said what I thought it said when I first saw it. Indeed, it has not changed.

I take him down to his classroom, make my way to the restroom, and finally make it to the auditorium where I wait for his class to come out and practice. Under normal conditions, this is the most enjoyable hour and a half that I know exists. Knowing all the “problems” associated with autism and being bipolar, my son seems to make it all go away with the beauty and power in his own voice. His voice truly moves me when he sings, it often brings tears to my eyes because for a brief amount of time he is just Jackson, not the boy that no-one understands or wants to understand.

As I closed my eyes and singled my son’s voice out of the crowd, flashes of that stupid sign kept interfering. What is the deal I keep asking myself. Just words? Just a sign? Hey, your son is pouring his heart out up there, pay attention! Could I really be this distracted? On the way home we talked about his question. I was bothered quite a bit because it seemed to be quite a contradiction in terms. I have never labeled myself with any more than just being a person who does not believe in God. I know that I’m not satisfied with fairytales, the end.  I laid in bed last night, thinking, not being able to sleep, get up, go out onto the deck, smoke a cigarette or three, and try to get my brain off the words of that sign. Good luck with that, yea, I know.

I was more than a little surprised this morning to read exactly what a christian atheist really is. It seems it is an ideology in which the belief in the god of christianity is simply rejected or it is absent because the teachings of jesus are followed. Why? It is believed the stories of jesus relate to modern life but not to be taken literally. In this belief, god is nothing more than a symbol. The christian atheists have removed the fairy tale elements from their beliefs. They see christianity as non-realistic and see a need to believe in only what is considered factual or real. There are writings after writings about what is essential to this belief system. I do really like some of the principles followed and taught but not something I need at this point in my life.

Humanity is forced to take responsibility for everything. Human beings are very powerful and capable of doing things for themselves. No need to waste time trying to explain supernatural things. Religion is no longer the opposition to scientific process. Religion is a product of humanity for humanity. Funny, until last night I had my life sorted out. I still do, I just re-examined why I believe the way I do. This little lesson was needed, I suppose, to clear the cobwebs and re-organize. I still believe it is impossible to know whether there is a god or not. Period. Humanity does not know the answer to that question, therefore the question can never be answered. I do not put faith in hope and a dream that maybe some answer will be shown to me after my death. I live on planet earth, I will be buried on planet earth, journey complete.

In the end, the sign made me think. It made me explore what was real to me. Of course, it was just a sign, set to made you think, and explore your beliefs. Good marketing, it worked. I am not trying to make friends or enemies here, nor trying to split hairs. Just pointing out the power of words and how they get inside you and make you consume and digest them. Sometimes I wish that I didn’t ask questions and sometimes it would be nice not to have to try to help find answers to something I have no interest in. I just don’t know anymore, I know I’m tired of seeing an oxymoron like christian atheist where the question is folded up into the enigma of the statement.

I will confess, today is probably one of the first posts I have gone back and re-read more than once. Usually I just write my posts on the fly, throw the dice, and see who scores. But this one is different, this one proved to be a challenge, perhaps I have been looking to see if I actually said something that was worth posting. Perhaps I was looking to see if somewhere, somehow, I answered the question I was seeking an answer to. But, as usual when I delve into outer aspects of christianity I get a little mad. Mad? Why? Because it frustrates me that I leave the exploration with more questions than answers. So, that’s how y’all got dragged into it because when I write like this every once in a while it’s more like talking to myself to try to work it out in my own mind. By the way, my son wasn’t happy with the definition we looked up. He has plans to bring it up next Sunday in hopes that the pastor might have some new ideas. I hope he doesn’t lose sleep over it because, as I told him already, the sign was put up to make the thinkers think and some questions do not have answers, which is a contradiction to my own belief in the end.

Our Jobs As Teenagers

My 17 y/o daughter and I had an interesting conversation over the holiday break which sparked my daughter’s interest into looking at what other teens make per hour at their part-time jobs. I tried to explain to her that she was very lucky making $10 per hour as well as only having to work 20 hours a week. She is actually pretty damn lucky because her part-time job is working at the church daycare as a teacher’s aide. She has had this job for a little over a year and half. She has never had to work at a fast food place or a place of retail so she knows nothing about how it actually is in a real marketplace for employment. She is lucky in other ways as well, like every bit of the money she earns is only earmarked for things she wishes to spend it on. She has no bills with the exception of putting fuel in her truck. In my opinion, knowing how I grew up, she is extremely lucky she can spend her paychecks as she pleases. She is smart with her money to a degree, she always puts some away in her saving account. She has a hard time comprehending that “most” teens her age with a part-time job are only making $7.25 per hour and work in less than ideal conditions sometimes.

She says I was lucky as I explained to her what I did for money when I was a teen. I made what I thought was decent money at the time back in 1983 because that is when I really started getting paid. I worked with my dad who was a concrete contractor for many years before for basically spending money but never anything to save. I learned many skills working with him that I still value to this day. I was never afraid to bust my ass working in the Houston heat & humidity and not see a dime for my efforts. When I needed money all I had to do is ask, well, most of the time. As the summer between 8th and 9th grade approached I had already obtained my driver’s license, I already had a truck (rebuilt from parts from the junkyard where I found it), I was dating, and all I needed was a part-time job to pay for all the things I wanted to do. Back in 1983 the state minimum wage was $3.35 or something like that per hour. Where I lived teens had a limited choice to part-time employment like working at a fast food place, the theatre (an old singleplex), the car wash, a grocery store, or out on the farms and ranches. My dad offered up $700.00 per month cash (over the summer) to keep working with him and when school started back up it was going to be $350.00 a month cash. Doesn’t seem like much by todays prices, but back then the money would last me a long time. So, no, I never had to go get a minimum wage job while in high school.

The conversation evolved back to today and the struggles over the minimum wages at fast food places. This is where I was told my asshole side came out to play. My daughter wanted to agree with the fight, the fight to change paying employees at least $15.00 to flip burgers, get my order wrong, and waste my damn time. Oh, wait, the money paid isn’t supposed to reflect the quality of service you receive now is it. More money does not mean the skill level and caring just went up. I think it’s a joke. And, no, I don’t know the struggles of the people working in that industry or any other for that matter. Plus, I’m not a fast food eater, mostly because I hate paying for shitty service, shitty attitude, and shitty food. No, you may not argue that everything would be better if these poor mistreated people made more money. You’ll never be able to convince me that paying $15.00 per hour will make the fast food experience better for the customer, and if you believe that bullshit it might be time to re-evaluate your past dining experiences. People, in general, want everything handed to them while they provide little or no effort. Why no, right? Society has been moving in this direction for many years, right? We are victims of our own bullshit, right? Wrong! Get a job, work your ass off, work your way up, try harder than the next person, and stamp out your place in this fucking society as a person that has something to offer back besides an open hand waiting for something to dropped into it. What ever happened to “earning a living” or “working hard” or “getting a job”? They don’t exist, people just sit on the couch and wait for the government check.

I sound a little bitter don’t I? Or do I? Don’t mistake my honesty about all of this for being bitter, just consider that I’m real tired of all the people who complain but are not willing to get a damn job and when they get a job for unskilled labor they complain that they are not paid enough. I can speak for where I live locally and the teens don’t want to work. The ones that do are not doing it for weekend cash they are doing it to help support their household. Those who aren’t teens, what should they be paid? Good question since working at a fast food place is still considered being unskilled labor. I don’t know anymore, it seems, at least on the surface, that the debate will continue about minimum wage, especially in the fast food industry. I guess people are no longer happy with the opportunity to merely have a job and unfortunately in our society there is an actual need for an unskilled labor force. If people want better for themselves then they need to better prepare themselves to be in a different job market that earns more money, not ask it to be handed to them like it is today in the here and now.

So, what should be the wages, the limitations, and the requirements? Hell, I’m in my mid-40s and had to have a second full-time job to make ends meet, and that is with a wife who is employed full-time. I didn’t know all I needed to do was whine a little and it would all be handed to me with no effort on my part. This is the world we live in, everything isn’t equal and nor should it be equal because we all don’t offer equal qualifications and/or work ethics. Be assured that the government will be forced to increase the minimum wage because of all the political pressure that is currently being applied. And, sadly, when the enablers get their way, we as a society, will once again take a few steps backwards. Where does the extra money come from? The consumer will be having the wage increase passed on to him/her through everything they purchase which is soon going to mean that what I make an hour won’t be enough, according to the same standards. Yea, I know, I can speak until I’m blue in the face and still get told I have absolutely no argument. Well, this has been my opinion and I think it will be a giant mistake and the people being served at the local fast food restaurant and at other places which use unskilled labor will soon be seeing a cost increase because the labor still has to be paid for by employers.

Where do we go from here? In my personal opinion, I think that this will just be another nail in the coffin for any business, large or small, here in the United States. Many places already operate on a shoestring budget just to keep the doors open and make some profit after paying the bills. Your right, fuck ’em. Why should I care what people are getting paid. Part of me thinks about the amount of blood, sweat, and tears it took me to get where I am at today. Part of me dislikes it when anything is just handed over to those who are not willing to earn it. I was raised different from that, I was raised in a manner that made me realize I needed to be able to provide something in exchange for compensation. I raise my own children the same way and not look for the free ride. Hopefully I’m alone in the way I raise my kids because if so then this next generation of people entering the workforce are truly fucked. I wonder what would be dropped in my open hand being a white male, 45, skilled, educated, and currently employed. Anything extra for me? I didn’t think so. But I already knew this fact. Anyway, as a society in the United States, we keep throwing money into the burning caldron, before long the people like myself that actually have to earn a living will be out of money and there will be no help, there will be only dust in the bankrupt coffers. Too melodramatic?

I never wanted to be a millionaire, I still don’t want to be a millionaire, and I doubt I will ever want to be a millionaire. Why? I like my life and the people in it. We work hard for what we earn and live a lifestyle which has been great for all of us, all too much money will do is corrupt what we consider to be perfect. Y’all may think one’s life revolves around money, I used to think the same way, but when you have nothing it always brings a smile to your face when you can put a little aside for a rainy day. I’m not saying the minimum wage is accurate, but I’m not the judge of that either, and it is called “minimum” for a reason. The only place people can go when they are on the bottom is up, many people acknowledge that the journey will be long and hard, others prefer to demand something without offering anything more in return. As much as we would all like to think we are worth our weight in gold, the reality is that if we were then we would no longer have value. I’ll leave it up to y’all because y’all should make your own decisions based on your individual opinions. The minimum wage is out of the hands of the “people” and will always be decided by politicians who take only their status into consideration. Fuck it, roll the dice. I hope everyone gets what they are expecting.

Accountability Of Reasons & Excuses

“When people give you excuses day after day, think of them as sandpaper. Eventhough this may scratch and irritate you, you will end up polished in the end and they end up becoming useless.” The first time my dad told me that statement because I was complaining about something I don’t even remember, he told me to think about it anytime someone wants to give an excuse over a reason, therefore not wanting to be held accountable. That statement comes in to play often in my life because I really dislike 2 things people do on a very regular basis, feed me bullshit and/or lie to me. I don’t want this post to sound like a rant of sorts because the intent is purely observational. I think the main reason I ask why or wtf so often is because I have little faith that people are capable of telling the whole truth. I question almost everything because there is truth in every word spoken.

This all started a while back when I was looking to purchase a vehicle from a man around my dad’s age that I met through my wife and her involvement with the church she attends. I have bought things from him in the past and each time I said it would be the last time because of the headaches. Perhaps one day I will write about the difference between “out-of-the-box-new” and “like-new” since people seem to get that pretty confused most times. I readily accept the fact that as soon as you drive a brand new vehicle off the car dealership lot that instantaneously becomes a used vehicle. As soon as you cross the property line you are now driving a used car. I typically do not suffer from “blind faith” since I believe that each person is responsible for their own actions and their own words. It’s really to bad that the majority of people believe the exact opposite.

So, back to the vehicle. It’s actually a “daily driver”, it is a 1967 Ford F250 which has lived a little life, seen some rougher roads, and hauled a load or three. Now, what caught my eye about this truck was purely the engine because he stated that it had the original V-8 352 with the manual transmission. He said he has been the one and only owner and neither the engine or the transmission have ever had any work done. Also, he mentioned that the 423,193 miles on the odometer was what it was when it stopped working in 2001, so he estimates an additional 40,000 miles to be on the truck. I know the 1967 F250 truck well, very well, as I owned and drove it’s twin in high school, except that one was rebuilt into a hot rod that kept it’s farm charm. Let’s just say it hauled ass as well as hay! He has had this truck for sale before, marketing it as a “classic car”, which it is, but he still owns it because he is very proud and the price reflects that pride. I had shown interest in it before but was not willing to part with $17,400 for something I didn’t need. In reality, I still don’t need the truck.

My wife invited him and his wife out to the hacienda to pick up some boxes she was donating to the church which were chock full of Christmas decorations. After some unneccessary chit chat I decided to take my ass to my shop so I would stay out trouble. Shortly after he came out and to “shoot the breeze” while the women hen-pecked in the house. After complimenting my shop he blurted out that he hears I’m interested in his truck once again.  Am I? He mentioned he has dropped his price considerably and is willing to deal. I told him to drive it in to the shop because I have better light than sunlight. So, he proceeded to bring it in, pops the hood, and revs it up a couple of times. From the smell of things it is time for new rings. We looked at the truck together, discussed the things I noticed, all cosmetic things aside, the truck looked good. He tells me the price of $9,000 and I countered with $6,00, he wanted to meet in the middle at $8,000. Don’t know whose middle that was but that was the bottom if I wanted it. Sure, why not, what the hell, lets do this. I had the cash but he did not have the title. It was decided that the truck would stay at my house, the cash would stay at my house, and he would locate the title so we could finish off the deal. For nearly 2 weeks the truck sat there, good thing I have working crazy long hours and weekends so it didn’t get in the way. In the end, no title could be produced, no sale was completed, and he came and picked up his truck.

What is the big deal you ask? It’s just a title that can be replaced right? Yes to both. It ends up being that I personally should not have to deal with someone else’s issues and spend the time and money to get it replaced and then transferred. I felt that he was selling the truck and he should have been absolutely ready to do just that. During the 2 weeks I got every excuse except that perhaps the dog ate the title. Why not just come clean? Why not just admit that the title is actually lost? Why not tell me that he will take care of it all in a timely manner? Instead, I got fed bullshit, and not even a flavor I like. Why? Because he could not own the accountability of his problem and he tried to pawn it off onto me. If asked I could retrieve any of my titles within minutes of the request because I know where all of them are.

But this is just one example, this just happened to be one that has happened recently, and it proves, hands down, without a doubt, that I’m alone in my quest for wanting everyone to be responsible for their words and actions and therefore being able to be held accountable. I really wonder if it is easier to lie and bullshit then to make an effort to be forthcoming. My wife tells me I’m guilty of judging people not for what they are saying, but for what they are not saying. I used to not know exactly how to take that observational comment. Over time I realized she is right, I spend allot of my time thinking about what the person didn’t say. Oh well, I thought this little post would help me work through some things but it hasn’t. I thought I might change my mind about calling the man about his truck and just deal with it, but I still haven’t convinced myself that it is the right choice. Do y’all think people have lost accountability for their own words and actions?

Moving Madness Multiplied

I like to think that I’m real easy-going most of the time. In person, people know that I usually have no problem helping out someone when asked. People know I have certain equipment and that I usually work pretty cheap. With that being said, a few weeks ago I was asked by my wife to contact her pastor so I could sit down with him because he had a “favor” to ask of me. At first I was in shock because she had the absolute brass balls to come to me with something he wants. You see, the pastor and I have a little history of bad blood. In other words, I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire. Get the connection. I don’t like him or what he stands for. However, money is money if there is money involved. She told me that they would “rent” my time and the use of my dually and my 48′ box trailer. Rent me? apparently my time and equipment is worth money now, who knew. Perhaps I could chat with the jackass and see what he has in mind. The whole meeting was real uncomfortable for me because, in no fewer words, I despise him as a human being. The meeting was short and involved the details, which were pretty sketchy if you ask me. Anyway, I needed to be in place at the church by no later that 6 a.m. on Saturday 14 September 2013 with my truck and trailer and should be done somewhere around 3 p.m. that same day. I was pre-paid the entire “rental fee” as it was listed on his receipt I signed and noted as “other church services” at the bottom. What was I paid? I was paid $1,500.00 for my services. Which, after doing a little research was real cheap since most rentals of the same caliber, like a 48′ box truck, had a $1,5000.00 deposit, $495.00 per day rental, $1.09 per mile, and the cost of the amount of fuel used. So, I was real cheap in comparison. He never asked me what I wanted to charge, he just told me what he needed and what he was willing to pay, take it or leave it. I should have left it right on the table. I shouldn’t have just returned his call and told him to kiss my ass and never looked back. But, for some reason, my wife gets involved and she asked me nicely. Her, I respect her opinion.

So, anyway, Friday evening my son and I prepped the trailer, meaning we swept it out and made sure all the tires were aired up properly since this trailer has been sitting in the same spot for over a year. Everything checked out which was a relief. We went into town and fueled up the dually then returned and hooked the trailer up. Again, no problems. We were ready to go in the morning. My son and I arrived to the church at 5:30 in the morning. While we waited we ate our breakfast burritos we got on the way, my sons request. At just after 7 in the morning not one person has shown up yet, not one. I called the pastor and my call went straight to voicemail. Seriously. I called my wife, who in turn was on her way to the church to collect my son to go to get his hair cut and do a few errands. She has not heard from the pastor. Promptly at 8 the pastor showed up, parks, and comes to my truck. He asked why I was here so early at the same time I was asking where everyone was. He apologized as he must have “forgotten” to call me, there was a change of plans because a few people couldn’t show up until 8 in the morning. According to him he did tell me when this all developed 2 weeks ago. Thinking back, that would have been the perfect time to just drive away. It was breach of contract on his part. But, I’m a sucker for punishment I don’t deserve, so I stayed. Immediately I was being told to move so I could back up across a sidewalk and across a section of grass, about 30 feet. Doesn’t this idiot know how heavy this truck and trailer are? Come to find out, nobody cared, it will all be okay. Piss on that, I will not pay to get towed out. So, I continue backing up, I hear screeching as the tree branches slide down the sides of the trailer. I’m thinking it just keeps getting better at this point. It made ruts going in I can’t wait to see the ruts when I pull out. Have y’all ever just known that something was going to turn into a great story. I knew that it would be a factoid when I was first told about this crap. Sometimes I can see the future.

Pretty much the entire day I either sat in the a/c in my truck or I would walk around a bit to stretch and see how loaded the trailer was becoming. According to my wife, somebody donated a large sum of money to the administration of the church so the church could update their offices, the two classrooms, and the day care. So, that is what they were loading, all the furniture coming out. I was supposed to take the loaded trailer to a warehouse where the people who bought all the furniture at auction were to unload it. At almost 7 p.m. they finished up. They almost completely had the trailer full and packed pretty well, I was almost impressed. After closing it up one of the men guided me out back into the parking lot. I thought I was stuck coming across the sidewalk, but after the trailer snapped it as it rolled over it everything was smooth getting out. I wonder what will be said about that because I told them it was going to happen, not maybe, but that it would get broken, my opinion was dismissed by the pastor. So, the pastor gives me the address and directions to the warehouse, it was about 30 minutes away. The only thing I can think is I hope they unload it faster than the trailer got loaded. When I arrived to the address I was presented with a rather tight turn into the driveway, it took me a little time to negotiate it but I got it. I went up to the office and explained who I was and I was told that I didn’t have permission to be in here number one and I needed a copy of the manifest or receipt before they would accept it. I was told to hurry up because they closed at 9 p.m. and would not be back until Tuesday. After multiple calls to the good pastor and to my wife I was getting nowhere fast. I was, however, growing more pissed by the minute. At 9 I was asked to remove my truck and trailer from the property. At 9:15 I finally get a call from the pastor who explained he had taken the men and woman who helped him all day out to dinner which is why he couldn’t take my calls. He says he was unaware that I needed paperwork and would talk to his contact about making arrangements. I told him I was going home. When he asked where his stuff was going to be I explained it will be at my house tucked away out of my way. I waited all day Sunday for his call. Finally around 3 I called him and he actually answered the phone. He has been busy all day and has not been able to make arrangements and rushed to get off the phone with me.

Today, being Monday, I still have their stuff inside my trailer which is parked out at my house. At this point I really don’t know when he thinks I will be able to take it to the warehouse. I work, I have a day job that I can’t just up and leave at the drop of a phone call. After Wednesday when I get off work if he has not arranged anything then he will be having to wait until the end of the following week since I have foot surgery scheduled bright and early this Thursday morning. I told my wife I am charging him storage, $150.00 a day and that started Sunday. Snidely, she told me to do what I am comfortable doing and hung up. This has worked out well so far I think. Should be an interesting week. I have a feeling when this is said and done I will never be available to assist these people again. Everytime I do it turns into a complete clusterfuck on their part.