Do You Know Your Comfort Zone Limits

White Weddings Are For Fairytales

“I don’t know how young girls get it stuck in their heads that the perfect wedding is one of our life’s goals. When I was a little girl I learned that I desired the perfect white wedding to mark the beginning of my life as being married to my prince charming. What I never knew was how it was all going to happen for me. I suppose one could say I grew up in a typical suburban family, the youngest of three girls, all of us achieving the goal of being a high school cheerleaders while remaining as straight A students. We all followed in the footsteps of our mother who we all idolized, we all wanted what she had, we all wanted to be where she was in life. Being the youngest, I was witness to seeing just how easy it is for one’s dreams to fall by the wayside. Somewhere in high school I began losing my faith in God, not because I blamed him for anything, but because he no longer seemed to have the answers. I grew impatient with him because when I turned to him to find my strength I felt as if I was waiting for something that he couldn’t help me find, myself. I lost myself wanting to be like my sisters and wanting what my mother had. Dreams I would soon find that I could not reach the way they reached them.

Halfway into my freshman year of high school my oldest sister found out she was pregnant. My sisters and I were close, we had a pact to remain virgins until our honeymoon, so I was sure how my sister explained it was the truth. She had attended a seniors only party a few months before, she went with her boyfriend of three years, and she was dropped off by that boyfriend after the party. The truly strange part about it, because my parents had DNA tests done, is that he was not the father of the baby. At the party she did like she always did, just drank diet coke, because she didn’t drink. A few hours into the party she remembers feeling sick so she went to the bathroom, which is where her boyfriend found her thirty minutes later, passed out on the floor. Long story short is that it is believed that someone at the party put some kind of drug into her diet coke, this lead to her getting sick, which lead her to the bathroom, and where someone raped her while she was out cold. Nobody is ever going to know the secret to the mystery. At five months pregnant, the fetus aborted in the middle of the night, we were told that due to unseen complications during the pregnancy that it just terminated on its own. Three days later, during my sisters first night back home from the hospital, she committed suicide. We buried my sister and her unborn daughter at the end of the week.

As a family we took all of this real hard, my parents really closed off the world, even worse, the closed us off from them the most, emotionally and physically. It seemed, at the time, that being the youngest, that I was taking it all in the most negative way, but the following event proved the opposite. Within a month of her funeral, my other sister decided to just disappear from the face of the planet. She left a brief letter to explain not to worry about her, she needed to be far away, and she would be okay because she had a plan. Nice plan, abondon everyone, give everyone something new to grieve about. I personally, have not seen or had contact with her since the night before she disappeared. I continued high school, I watched my parents grow distant from each other, and finally my dad decided that everyone would be best if he left as well. After their divorce, shortly after I graduated, I too, left everything I knew, my mom was heart broken, but said she would always be there for me. I ended up in Houston somehow, came in with the wind one night, broke, hungry, and alone. I didn’t like my current situation so, after seeing an ad I applied for a job and was hired a few days later. That job lasted about a month and one day I heard these two pretty girls talking about the money they had been making. I sat down with them, we became friends, and, in a weird way, showed me an uncertain path.

Which, coincidentally, is where we sit today. I will be 23 in a few days, graduating from Rice University later this fall, after 4 very long years of hard work. I really don’t mind doing what I do, strip for money, because it has actually given me a bright future, one that I can touch, feel, and see. Stripping has given me an education about people, an education that I’m not sure I could have received anywhere else. When I graduate this fall I will be leaving this club and beginning the next chapter in my life, always being very thankful that I overhead a conversation I was never meant to hear.” 

…………. The preceding paragraphs were transcribed from a recorded conversation between myself and Molly, well, most of it was her talking while I listened. I have let technology take the place of my own memory and little black note book when it comes to writing for Scorpion Sting’s Bartender Stories. I’m liking the way it worked out, I didn’t have to handwrite any of it and I just pushed play and pause to thumb type this on my phone. I hope y’all enjoyed this entry, it was sad and happy, just like my own life seems to be, sometimes life is what it is and we must roll with the punches just to survive.

Hold On! I Gotta Tweet This Shit!

Always Here To Ruin My Weekends

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Will You Help End The Violence?

Where’s The Light?

The True Definition

2012- The World Did Not End or Shift

Originally Posted 27 Febuary 2013

Guest Blogger: Neil Killion
Blog/website: http://lifecycles-by-neil-killion.blogspot.com
(Original Posted: Saturday, December 29, 2012)

2012-The World Did Not End Or Shift-Wake Up!

There is a scene in the first James Bond movie -Dr.No- where a character called Professor R. J. Dent opens Bond’s hotel door and pumps six bullets into what he believes is Bond’s sleeping body. Little did he know that Bond is waiting behind the door and with a perfect turn of sardonic phrase he says:- “That’s a Smith and Wesson and you’ve had your six!” Then the Professor is shot and killed. Well that’s what I want to do in this post about the hoo-ha surrounding the Mayan Hoax and the New Age belief in a positive global shift instead. There was never any proof, or even one shred of credible evidence, in either of them. Yet I see that an estimated 1 in 10 Americans were worried or concerned about the coming ‘end of the world’ and a smaller number celebrating a coming “new era”.

Let’s give them their six ill-timed shots and then shoot them down one-by-one shall we? After all, 2012 was the year of the big hoax. Bullet No.1 :- Astrology. This ancient culprit, with plenty of adherents, has never passed any attempt to prove ‘better than chance’ outcomes with personal readings, and a litany of disasters, when it comes to predictions. Don’t take my word for it. Check it out for yourselves on Google. It’s behind the Mayan calendar, Nostradamus, who had everyone scared in the 80’s, and the so-called ‘dawning of the Age of Aquarius’, with even less backing than its other flimsy concepts. Every time you see this in the future just shoot it down.

Bullet No.2 :- Numerology. This similarly doesn’t add up. Numbers aren’t, in and of themselves, magical. Personal readings can be quite ego-enhancing, but they have no foundation of proof. But once again don’t believe me, Just Google “numerology, sceptics view” or the Wiki article on it. It’s behind all these Bible Codes, hundreds of years worth of ‘we know the actual date the world ends’ etc. I actually Googled the “World will end November, 2012” and saw an article by Harold Camping (radical preacher and prophet of doom merchant) saying that the world had already ended in October, 2012. Yeah right. I was told the world would end in Nov. because of some numerology-based idea, and then that it would end on Dec. 23rd (no, not the 21st, that was the Mayans). This one was based on the ‘sacred nature of the number 19’. Give me a break! It’s endless and it’s insidious. Put a bullet in it. Shoot it down. Don’t be scared of your own shadow.

Bullet No. 3 :- Astronomical calamities. Collision with comets/hidden planets/reversal of the polar axes/solar storms etc. etc. Yes 2012 seemed to have had it all. Now I grant you, there is always some remote chance of these occurring. No-one knows when. NASA will tell you if there’s anything passing close to the earth and you should know, that although NASA considers polar reversals to be relatively commonplace over a 3 billion year period, that they happen currently about every 300,000 years and take hundreds and sometimes thousands of years to complete. So, was 2012 going to be to be the year of the big axis shift? I think not. There was also a recorded solar storm event in the 1850’s, that caused interruption of worldwide telegraphy services, and 2012 was the end of an 11 year solar cycle, but the leading astrophysicist in this area, says such events are expected about every 500 years or so. So, no big solar storm in 2012 either. Are you getting the picture. Put a bullet in this one too.

Bullet No. 4 :- Alien Invasion. Now I grant you there have been many unexplained sightings, including one that I saw personally over 30 years ago, but so far we don’t know if they’re unmanned (if that’s the right word for it) probes or what. Are aliens living with us? Do they want to invade and destroy us? Here’s where it starts to get silly. I think a response given to a Chinese mass sighting in 2012 about sums it up :- “there’s nothing to tell us that there isn’t extraterrestrial life, but so far there’s nothing to tell us there is.” The aliens haven’t made themselves known, despite apparently being sighted for thousands of years. Will they come and destroy us in 2012? No more so than they might have done in all of recorded history. No, fascinating as it is, give it a bullet.

Bullet No. 5 :- Natural disasters. Mega-tsunamis/massive volcanic eruptions/violent storms/earthquakes etc. Of course these can and will periodically happen. We can do little to stop them. But they will not follow a predictable timetable. I’m afraid I simply can’t lose sleep over them. Yes, there may be a landslide in the Canary Islands, that sends a mega-tsunami to the entire East Coast USA, but there’s way more chance that it might not happen in my lifetime. That’s just how it is. If someone tries to tell you they know when, don’t believe them. Put a bullet in their ideas as well.

Bullet No. 6 :- World will become a better place in 2012/new astrological age/cosmic shift/higher vibrations etc. etc. Look, admittedly this is designed to be a force for good, so it may seem a bit unfair to shoot it down. But honestly, do you think a relatively small group of people, dancing till dawn around the campfire at the Mayan temple, or anywhere else, is suddenly going to make everyone a better person and the world a better place? Will it solve our economic woes, our wars, our crimes, our poverty etc., overnight? It may make for an enjoyable night for the participants, but in the morning, we’ll all have to get on with adapting to our current circumstances, as best we can. No, unfortunately put your final bullet in this one too. However, make it a round-edged dum-dum bullet.

Wait a minute I can hear some voices saying :- “Isn’t your ‘Life Cycles’ theory part of all this? Isn’t this just numerology, astrology, or some other pseudo-scientific New Age twaddle?” The answer is a resounding “NO!” I only study certain years in people’s lives, to see if they correlate with important change and that’s it. I only have the biographical facts to work with. I don’t predict the future in ordinary terms. I don’t know why this happens and I know it isn’t exactly science, because “correlation does not equal causality” (although I don’t deal in causality) and it contains some subjective elements. However it is startlingly better than mere chance occurrence. Billions of times actually, if you only look at my many case histories. It’s also brand new. There is nothing new about the so-called New Age. It’s as old as the hills. I’m the newest voice you’ll ever hear and I intend to create a peaceful and modest revolution in how you think of your life. Is it important? Oh yes, it’s important alright, but I accept that it’ll take some time before people catch up to me. Till next month :- “may the cycles always bring you good fortune”.