Living A Secret Life

Every so often people I actually know in person will drop me an email just to update me on the happenings in their life. Normally I wouldn’t find the need to say anything here but I got one from a friend, my age, who I have known for some 20 odd years now. He told me he had a good story that would fit right in if posted in the Magic Weekend. I ended up calling Ron because his story was a bit disturbing and I needed to know more. So, since the email was brief, I am going to toss in a little background information first. Ron, 9 years ago walked away from a marriage that ceased to exist. He had known for a few months that his wife was cheating on him and one day he had enough, game over. They didn’t have any children so his choice, he says, was simple. One morning he woke up to go to work, leaving the signed divorce papers on the kitchen table, and when he left he never returned. After around 6 months he was notified by mail that his divorce was final. He didn’t seem real heartbroken about the news either. A few months went by and he dropped by the house with his girlfriend, Amy. She has to be 10 years or more younger than him but that didn’t seem to bother either of them at all.

Skip ahead a few years to the present day and they are still together. Neither wanted to ever get officially married so they never did. Since we keep tabs on one another I was glad he was back in the states again that way maybe we can get together. However, part of his email was to explain that he was moving from Houston and returning to Japan to take a permanent position there with his company. I am sure there is more than just reason he has made this choice, although, as you will read, it would seem he thinks his luck has run out with women. His relationship with Amy is really messed up now, she is not exactly being honest with Ron when he made some inquiries into what she has been up to while he was gone. He’s done with the lies now and decided to move on.

It seems when Ron in Japan for about 3 weeks three to four times a year, Amy is quite the party girl. Ron says he never had a clue and all she ever did when he was home most of the year was go to work and then be home with him. Enter the magic of Facebook networking amongst friends and people he barely new. Amy celebrated her 35th birthday while Ron was out of town, he knew she was going out with friends, but didn’t actually know any of them. Ron was forwarded the picture shown here from a friend of a friend of a friend when he saw that it was Amy. Ron went on to find out that Amy was a part of a paid escort party. Upon a little note digging, Ron found out she had been working as an escort for over 2 years. Needless to say, when he asks her about it she denies everything and blames it on mistaken identity. But he knew, he knew because he was there when she got the tattoo on her shoulder that he clearly sees in the picture. He never showed her the picture, he wanted to catch her in her own lie. After things settled down he decided to call the escort service and request Amy. He waited at the hotel and then when he answered the door he knew their relationship had just ended. No explanation needed, its over.

I am reminded by Ron’s story that just because we think we know what our significant other is up do all day and all night that we are probably only about 80% right about 80% of the time. I am not saying we shouldn’t trust one another, I am just saying to trust what you think first, then everyone else. We may not all be victims of a cheating spouse, but we all know that one doesn’t cheat only with another person. I will leave it there.

Traveling Down The Rabbit Hole


A couple of months ago I received a letter in the mail that made some, in my opinion, really outlandish claims. It was a letter that took quite a bit to digest because the information made sense but at the same time confused the hell out of me. The first person I talked to about this letter was my oldest daughter (23 y/o) because I was hoping she might help me make sense of it enough where I could have a talk with my wife that actually made sense. In the beginning of the letter the woman identified herself (I will refer to her as “ST) as the granddaughter of my biological mother (I will refer to her as JT). I was 2 sentences in to the letter and now I was a little pissed. Let me track back a few years and I will explain. I will assume from this point forward that y’all know I’m adopted. I located my biological mother back in 2002 and the short version was I was fed a boatload of bullshit that took me roughly 8 years to unravel. When I unraveled what I was able to find out I was able to find my biological father (died in 2004) which led me to tracking down his wife, which eventually led to me finding their children, and in 2009 I met a majority of them when attending my eldest daughter’s high school graduation in South Dakota where the biologicals also happened to live. Anyway, the long and the short of this is that my biological mother (JT) said without saying that she does not have time for me in her life and wishes that I will discontinue contact. Her wish was my command and I do not have contact with her nor have I met her yet because she has declined meeting me under any circumstances. Back to the beginning of the letter from ST. Granddaughter? This means that JT had children or at least one where she told me that after the “ordeal” with me that she never wanted any more children because she was heartbroken that she was forced to give me up for adoption since she was only 16 y/o at the time of my birth. Shall we go deeper into the rabbit hole?

ST went on to explain that she was the daughter of the youngest of two sons of JT. Dramatic pause please ………….. wait for it ………………. WTF did she just say???? Did she just say that my biological mother had two sons besides me? Unfuckingbelievable! Now ST had set the hook and was in the process of reeling me in, it was slow going because, as one might imagine, I was fighting the information a little bit because of my disbelief of what she was saying. I can’t help but reading on, pushing forward, looking for the next little surprise that she might have to offer. Here it comes, she didn’t ease into it at all, no cuddling and no foreplay, just jumped right into it. Apparently my biological mother is having some heath issues of some sort so ST was asked to come over to her house, because they live in the same town of Kingston Idaho, to help her do some cleaning. ST wasn’t there to help, she was there to do it herself because JT was in the hospital for a few days having tests done. While at JT’s house ST got to snooping around because she has never been in this house alone so she said it felt natural to look around a bit. ST had done some laundry and was in the process of hanging the dresses up in the closet when her hand bumped a large envelope. When she peeked to see what was in this stuffed envelope she saw pictures of her dad (RT), her uncle ( also JT), and another man she didn’t recognize (me). There were individual pictures of me while I was in the Air Force, individual pictures of her dad while he was in the Air Force that she had never seen, and one picture of her dad and myself together in our uniforms. She enclosed a copy of this picture. My first thoughts? Holy shit I met my half brother and neither of us even knew the relationship. ST had not made the connection at this point, it took her some time looking through letters that I had written to her over the years, 4 to be exact, none of which were ever answered. ST explained she was very stunned because grandma had some explaining to do. ST borrowed the envelope that afternoon knowing that grandma would not be home for a few days. She wanted to talk to her boyfriend of 4 years what he thought and if he had got the same impression from everything that was read, to include information about my adoption and so forth. He concluded the same thing, her grandmother was hiding all of this from the family for some reason. But, what was the reason? Why hide all of this for so many years? Why is it so important to keep this a secret? That information boys and girls may never be revealed.

After speaking with her boyfriend, ST spoke to her father in a very private setting. Her dad, RT, explained to her that it was ok to contact me since they had my phone number and address. So, she did contact me, she did write me the letter, and she did talk to her uncle as well. I reviewed what I knew about her dad. He was part of a select group of people that I hung around while I was stationed in New Mexico. He was on my “crew” but I knew all six of my crew pretty well because working with explosives you need to be able to know the “sides” of people and their moods as it helps to determine how they operate day to day. In fact, I knew ST as a young girl, I would guess she was 9 or 10 at the time, as well I knew his wife. Her dad and I had a weird relationship, we acted like siblings to one another, but were never really close by any means. We joked around well together and worked well together. As I read this letter I would pause to look at the picture she sent because I knew exactly when, where, and why the picture was taken. That in itself isn’t important, just had those flashback moments that in the end made me smile. After a very long talk with my wife the ultimate question was asked, she wanted to know what I was going to do. Well, first, I kissed her on the forehead, gathered up the letter, and headed out to my shop to be alone. I was mad. I was mad at a person who didn’t have the time for me to tell me she had two sons just a few years younger than me. I was mad that I wasn’t important enough to tell. I did allot of yelling at her in my shop, I called her things I don’t care to repeat here, and I cut up allot of wood that otherwise I would have used to make something nice. I worked thru my anger as the night passed. I would read the letter, stare in to the picture, read the letter some more, and then finally I folded the letter back up, replaced it into the envelope, closed up my shop, and went back up to the house since it was about 3 in the morning. I called her that day, I tried to be a cold hearted bastard and act as if I didn’t care, but it didn’t work because ST was so damn sweet to me. She knew she would be fucking my life up by sending the letter, but she knew she needed to tell me what she did for the sake of everyone involved, to include herself. She mentioned that she put all the papers back in her grandmothers closet and she isn’t any wiser that anything has transpired. St asked me if I was mad at her, I guess my tone was a little stressed, but I let her know I hold no anger for her because they were as clueless as I was. She mentioned how bizarre she thought it was that her grandmother would keep all this information about me but keep me a secret to all her family. All I could do at that time was agree with her.

Since then, I have spoken to ST and my two 1/2 brothers on a few occasions. I have not spoken to my biological mother. I have sat down and talked with my mother who finds everything I uncover over the years very interesting. Sadly, she has been able to provide zero help because she had parts of the same false information I began my journey with. But, she knows I am not family shopping. Any additional people brought into my life all have to understand I do have a life, that they also have a life, and just knowing all of this information is disruptive enough. Then a person has to process the lies, the deceit, the rabbit holes, and the sometimes high hopes which get deflated every so often. I don’t know if they will ever confront their mother with what they found out or with what I was able to tell them. Personally I don’t care. They will have to wrestle those demons on their own as I wrestle my demons on my own. I know what your thinking but I’m not really that selfish. As far as I am concerned I don’t have anything specific to say to my biological mother. If I never meet her in person I think I can live and die in comfort with my decision. It’s things like this in my life that demonstrate the exact reasons why I don’t trust too many people.


Shattered Dreams

This entry is provided by KL who lives in Bunnell Florida. He states he is in his mid 30s and travels most of the state of Florida for his employment. He didn’t state what he does for a living except that it keeps him gone 6 days a week. Since he travels so much it has left him little time for romance and his mother and friends keep telling him to settle down so he doesn’t die a lonely old man. He started to fulfill what he thought was a dream by getting on Christian Mingle. He went thru the normal steps and follow ups and found his perfect match. Now that the minor background has been defined I leave the rest for KL to tell. Hold on, this one has a few twists and bumps in the road.

About a year ago is when this all occurred for me. I had grown tired of being taunted and teased all the time by friends and family that I would never find love and that I would never get married. It all sat really hard with me because I’m now 36 and have no life other that travel and work. I had become discouraged with Facebook because it didn’t seem like any of the singles my age were interested in anything except extra-marital affairs and I didn’t want to get mixed up in that at all. With the advice of my mother I created an account on Christian Mingle and loaded up my profile. In the beginning my inbox stayed empty, then I would get the empty conversations, and after about a year I began corresponding with a woman my age named Ashley. We seemed to both have quite a bit in common and she says she wouldn’t mind my traveling. We didn’t live too terribly far apart, with her north of Orlando and myself in Bunnell.

After the usual talking on-line through the site we saw trust within one another and exchanged cell phone numbers so we could talk while I was on the road. After about a month of texting and talking she started sending me pictures of herself. They started off with her being fully clothed, then in bikinis, then erotic lingerie, and finally just her in her birthday suit. I have to admit, she was stunning to look at and I could not wait to meet her in person. I sent her only one picture of myself compared to like 60 she sent to me. Mine was simple, just me fishing from the beach one summer. She really had my attention. Eventually we made arrangements to meet in a central location to both of us and at a place that was neutral for both of us as well. She knew allot about Daytona Beach and started listing out hundreds of places we could meet. Finally we settled with meeting at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. restaurant right on Daytona Beach. The weekend was finally here and I packed a small bag with a change of clothes so I was sure to have my bathing suit just in case we decided to actually go down to the water.

On my drive down to Daytona I go a call from Ashley informing me she was already there and since she got there so early she decided to get a room at a local motel off the beaten path by the beach. I agreed to meet her there as we both agreed that it might be best to meet for the first time in a not so public forum. She texted me the address and I found myself heading her way. She was definitely right, the motel was off the beaten path a bit and kind of secluded from the view of the street. My anticipation was growing by the moment and I was getting really anxious to get to meet her. When I pulled up I found my way to park in front of the room number she had given me. Being polite, I called her while sitting in my car to announce I was here and coming to the room. She told me it was perfect timing and to come on in because the door was open.

I was raised better than to just barge into someone’s room, so I knocked on the door and waited for her to answer it. The door slowly opened reveling Ashley standing there without a stitch of clothing on her wet, nude body. She apologized for being wet and naked and told me that she had just got out of the shower and heard the knock on the door. I remember thinking that this was odd since I just called her a few minutes ago, but oh well, I’m here now. She grabbed me by my hand, leading me into the hotel, and then she shut the door. That was the last thing I saw, the light just before the door completely closed. I woke up around 7 hours later. I realized at this point that the back of my head was bleeding pretty good. When I got up off of the floor to head to the bathroom to get a towel I realized I was completely naked and completely alone as well. After making my way to the bathroom I looked in the mirror to see I had a black eye and was missing a tooth. Further examination of my body would reveal that I had bruises and small cuts everywhere. Further observations would reveal that all my clothes, my wallet, my cell phone, my keys, and my car were all missing.

I got on the motel phone and called the Daytona Police Department to report the robbery and assault. A male and female officer arrived after about 15 minutes to take me report. I had found a robe tucked in on the top shelf of the closet so I felt a little better. I let them in, the female officer immediately began talking with me writing everything down while the male officer looked around the room and asked neighboring rooms if the heard or saw anything. Then the kicker. I was informed this motel was notorious for being used in prostitution scams and robberies. Shortly after I was read my rights and was told I was being arrested for solicitation of a prostitute. With no identification I was treated like an actual criminal. I was loaded into the car and drove to the police station where I was duly processed in accordance with the law. With my one call I contacted my mother and explained what happened. She said she will call the insurance about the car and bring me my birth certificate to prove my identity. But, she can’t come until the following morning because she doesn’t drive after dark.

So there it is, I spent the night in jail because I got robbed and beaten. I understand the police department’s point of view but what about what really happened, does that even matter. The answer is no actually. After my release I got busy changing locks on my house, luckily they never came here and robbed me here. I called to cancel credit cards and order replacements, as well as getting charges stopped on my bank account. They managed to remove $4679.92 from my bank account as well as spending another $2109.89 at a variety of places, all in a matter of under 24 hours. When I go to Christian Mingle to retrieve what information I saved about Ashley her entire profile was gone, of course. My car was found a few weeks later torched and burnt to the ground in Las Vegas Nevada. After my insurance claim went through I got another car. Since all of this happened most of the money I lost was “refunded” to my new bank account. To my knowledge this is still under investigation because they have never been able to identify who actually did this to me. I don’t personally see it being solved. She is long gone and I helped her get long gone. On a personal note, I have given up on internet dating sites. I will just need to find the right woman for me some other way. I have learned my lesson and wanted to share with people so they don’t go down the same lonely road that only leads to despair and agony.

Note: The images used in this story were provided by me. I found them on the internet via a quick Google Images search in a public domain.