Bow Our Heads For Words Unknown

Saturday became the day that was decided where many people who are otherwise too busy could get their schedules together and spend time with one another. I hosted this get together of family and friends. The purpose? Nothing more than for everyone to get together, eat, maybe have a drink or two, let the kids run wild, and for everyone to catch up with what is worth catching up with. I spent the morning preparing all of the meat, smoking it all to perfection, and all of this was paired with side dishes brought by many people. I would say in total there were 60 men, women, and children all spending their precious Saturday together for absolutely no reason.

Finally, it was time to feast. I look all around me and see my family and friends and it dawns on me that there are many different faiths attending my supper. At this moment my father stood up announcing that I would be leading us in prayer and for everyone to rise with heads bowed low. Immediately in my brain I’m yelling wait! I don’t pray so how will I be the one to lead the prayer? I stood there, frozen, for what seemed to be eternity, and then my mouth opened. It was like the dam opened and I couldn’t, no mater what I tried, stop the flow of words coming out of my mouth. It was like me standing outside my own body watching me deliver this prayer before our meal.

When it was complete all I heard was a rumbled amen, then seeing everyone sit, and everyone plowing into the food. I ate there quietly wondering what in the fuck just happened. What did happen? What did I say? Why would my dad take it upon himself to announce me at the prayer giver? The whole meal I was thinking of what I was going to say to the man who put me on the spot in front of so many people. I could have declined leading the prayer but with my wife at my side squeezing my hand I wasn’t going anywhere fast. In fact, when it was done I got a wink of approval from my son across the table. What did all of this mean? Was this an intervention? Was this going to be a forcible conversion? Was there going to be pain and blood? Did I just die?

After the meal everyone was mingling on the back deck, the kids were running amuck in the yard playing hide and seek, and I found myself standing alone stoking the outdoor fireplace. My fathers actions still weighing heavily on my mind wondering what he could’ve possibly been thinking. My dad ended up walking over to where I was, standing beside me, resting his arm around my shoulders. We stood there for a moment. The silence spoke volumes. He started talking to me where he thanked me for taking the opportunity to leading the prayer, acknowledging that I did it perfectly. When I ask why he laid it out for me in his own special way. He told me this meal was being served at my house and traditionally the male head of the house leads the prayer for meals. I told him he had put me in an awkward position because I don’t pray. He said he knows but knew I would have something inspirational to say.

Some of y’all are probably wondering why this is even a point to write about. Some of y’all have been around here long enough that y’all know why. In the end, it’s over and I learned a valuable lesson. Part of that lesson was that I will never cease to amaze myself what I can pull out of my ass to sound like I know what I’m talking about. I have never had a problem speaking to a crowd, large or small, but I felt uncomfortable this time because this isn’t part of who I am. Out of respect for my family and friends I did dig deep, real deep, and tried to make things appear normal. Normal? What’s normal anymore? Overall, we all had fun, we all ate well, and nobody burst into flames. Yay me!

Just Put It Down And Drive

Yes, you heard me, I’m sure I’m talking to you, just drive and watch the road around you. These are words I not only preach but I also practice them as well. Those who know me will tell you I will take a phone away from a person if they are behind the drivers wheel of a vehicle when I’m a passenger. Those people who know me would tell you that I say there is no need to be on your phone talking, texting, or surfing because whatever it is can wait. Let’s use these two pictures as an example of what happens when someone takes their eyes off the road to check a text. Unfortunately, now she will pay more to have it fixed than she paid for the car in the first place. Well, the insurance will be paying because she has a zero deductible. I actually need to back all of this up a bit and provide a little history so every bit of this makes sense. But, before we begin, a message to Allison, who I told I was going to write about her and her accident. I hope you understand, Allison, that I’m a bit pissed with you. You were lucky …………….. this time.

To begin with I met Allison some years ago. She was 24 when she decided to get out of the Navy since she said 5 1/2 years of the 6 years was to long. She began as a waitress at Club X and eventually decided she wanted more money and began stripping. She was also going to school full-time at the University of Houston getting her degree in radiology of some sorts. Makes me a bad friend I guess because I can’t recall the specifics, oh well. She knew I would go to state auctions that featured vehicles seized for one reason or another. One weekend she invited herself along with me, my son, and my dad. This older Mercedes caught her eye, she liked it allot because it was a convertible. She got it at a good price in my opinion, $5,700.00, since the original sticker on it was somewhere close to $80,000.00. Of course, at auction, you buy the vehicle “as is” with no warranty or guarantee, so the risk falls fully on the shoulders of the buyer. She obviously thought the risk was worth it at the price she paid. She was real lucky with her great buy, she needed to have the leather replaced on the driver’s seat, had to have the trunk liner replaced, and she had to replace all 4 tires. She put that additional $3,000.00 into the car and she was on her way.

When she graduated form UH she actively pursued a job that would become her career and soon enough she walked out of the doors of Club X to strip no more for the very last time. Life was pretty good for Allison, her career was going great and she has recently gotten engaged, setting the date for the fall of 2014. She had everything going for her and she couldn’t ask for life to be any better. This past weekend she was on her way to pick up her fiancé to go to the Christmas party being hosted by the hospital she works for when she decided to text him to let him know she was running late. Before she hit “send” all hell broke loose as she came to a very abrupt stop in the middle of the road. She had struck a deer that was standing in the road while she was looking down to send her text. She watched the deer limp off the road and into the tree line then she lost sight of it since it was dark. She called me to ask me what she should do. I informed her that she needed to contact TPWD (Texas Parks & Wildlife Dept.) for the phone number of the game warden in the area because the game warden will come out to the scene to locate the animal. If he finds it he will dispatch it and remove it. Other than being very shook up she was un-injured. She told me that she needed to make some calls and make some arrangements, so thanks for my help.

The following day she sent the pictures to me asking me what I think. What do I think? She really didn’t want to hear what I had to say so I kept it to myself. I will say it here tho, I know she will read it here, and I hope it makes sense to her as I did tell her I was going to write about it and use her accident as an example. She neither agreed or disagreed so I’m just running with it. Here are my thoughts on her accident. One could make the argument that she would have hit the deer regardless of her phone activity. That is both true and false. Had she not taken her eyes off the road she might have had the time to react. So, in reality, that argument is invalid and therefore I deem the subject closed from this point forward. Luckily she was not traveling at a higher speed, she was going around 40mph she says. This could have been much worse than just a trashed Mercedes, a crimpled deer, and her getting her nerves shook up a little. She could have died. She could have killed someone else. For what? A text? In my opinion there is zero excuse for being on your phone while you are driving. If it is so damn important then pull over and handle it. I hope you understand, Allison, that I’m a bit pissed with you. You were lucky …………….. this time.

The Art Of Communication In 2013

In my daily ritual to observe my surroundings I often forget to look in the mirror and take notice. In this day and age it would seem that everyone has a cell phone of some sorts and isn’t afraid to use it. I have mentioned before that I often have to make times in my house that are cell phone free just so some live people time can happen. Some examples of when a person in my house is forbidden from even looking at their phone for any reason. The number one time is if we are talking to one another, if I’m talking to you I take precedence over anything that could possibly be happening on your phone. If we are talking and you pull your phone out I will assume the conversation is over and walk away. The second time is when everyone is assembled at the dining room table for a meal. The only person I allow exception to this rule is my wife. Why? Only because she is a manager for multiple doctor’s offices and a handful are open 24/7. So, if her work cell phone goes off she will check it to gage the importance. If it is important she will excuse herself from the table to take care of her business and then return. I listen while we eat because I hear the message tones, I hear the ring tones, and I hear the vibrations happening. My kids know if they even glance in the direction of their phone they will lose it for a bare minimum of 24 hours. Friends, family, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, games, calls, and texting can wait until we are done eating. Third is family time when we all get together to watch a movie or play a game. I refuse to pause either so someone can take a text or call. Plus, I treat that time like being in a public theater because I don’t want to hear the ringtone or somebody jacking with their phone.

 

I have spent some time talking with my family about all of this and they seem to take my wishes and desires into consideration most of the time. I asked each one of my children and my wife to give me an estimate of how many texts they send and receive a day. I broke this down into 3 basic categories which were family, friends, spouse/significant other, and work. The results were kind of interesting and I thought I would take a moment and share them real quick before moving on.

 

Son, age 12

Friends 5 texts

Family 25 texts

Girlfriend n/a

Work n/a

 

Daughter, age 17

Friends 25 texts

Family 50 texts, 2-3 calls

Boyfriend 100+, 4-5 calls

Work n/a

 

Daughter, age 23 (lives in Utah)

Friends 25 texts, 4-5 calls

Family 25+ texts, 4-5 calls

Fiance 40+ texts, 4-5 calls

Work 3+ texts, call occasionally

 

My wife

Friends 25+ texts, 1-2 calls

Family 25+ texts, 4-5 calls

Spouse (me) 50+ texts, 2-3 calls

Work 75+ texts, 25+ calls

 

Me

Friends 30+ texts, 1-2 calls

Family 5+ texts, 1-2 calls

Spouse 50+ texts, 2-3 calls

Work 0 texts, calls occasionally

Work 30+ e-mails

 

What did I learn from all of this? First, I doubt my wife and daughters were being 100% honest with me or themselves. However, there is much more going on with everyone’s smart phone than meets the eye, the texting is only a part of it, and for me personally it isn’t really the big part of the time spent on my phone. What do I mean? Well, as some examples, my kids also use their phones to view Youtube videos, my daughters are constantly on Instagram and Facebook, and everyone plays at least one game regularly. But there is much more, at least for me, since my phone serves many purposes for me personally. Let me explain. First, lets start with my work. My work extension is forwarded to my phone because I’m rarely at my desk. My work e-mail is forwarded to my phone because I’m rarely at my desk to check and/or reply. My actual work is done remotely on my phone and later downloaded onto the server at the end of the day. Allot of actual “work” is done from my phone. Luckily, since it’s my personal phone, my employers reimburses me $150.00 per pay period because I use it for work purposes. Which is great because it pays for all five lines I have thru Verizon, all with unlimited talk, text, and data. But, what they don’t know is I pay under $100.00 a month so I pocket the other $200.00 for my “troubles” and “services”. It is also the easy way for me to take my work home with me paper free and work remotely when needed which is only about once or twice in a three month period.

 

I do a whole lot more from my phone. Let’s start with this blog and my five (5) other blogs, all done from my phone. Yes, there are (6) of them that I keep updated primarily from only my phone. You weren’t aware there were six (6)? Take a moment and see the links section. I’m also pretty active @ Blogcatalog, or at least I try to be active there. I’m pretty active on Pinterest as well. Plus, I use Facebook and Google+ to promote my blogs, which actually doesn’t take up much time at all, but I do have a presence. I buy and sell a buttload of things on eBay and Craigslist so I have to monitor that always. That is where most of my actual phone calls are generated from. My phone is my hand allot during the day but I tend to not be on it much at all once I get home because I don’t want others around me on their phones. Additionally, I have a home phone number, but no home phone, so all calls that come to that number get forwarded straight to my cell phone. The nice thing about that is that nobody knows it is happening unless I say something. Also, I can make calls where my home phone will show up in the caller i.d. as well. Eventhough I do not have an actual “smart home” I do have many of the features associated with it. If it is electronic and plugged in I can operate it from my phone. I have my security routed through my phone which includes a handful of cameras and the intercom system so I can see people at my gate and talk to them while I am at work and they think I am up in the house. Since I drive quite a bit for work and personally, I use the GPS feature on my phone always. Since I am outdoors so much either at home or on my Goldwing I also like to have the weather at my fingertips.

 

By the end of any given workday I’m tired of my phone, being on my phone, and just plain seeing it. If you are thinking I spend allot of time on my phone you are right, I do. I often wonder what it would be like not to have my phone. Well, life would be simpler that is for sure. My evening time is reserved for what I want to do and the family time we have. You never get that lost time back. Weekends are about the same, we spend much of the time at home doing a variety of things. My time is mostly spent outside doing one thing or another. I have a hard time just sitting on the couch and staring at the television. I think this family survey was beneficial because it has shown each one of us what we actually are using are phones for. Take this post for example, the entire thing written using my phone and published from my phone. What about you, what do you do with your phone?