A Late Valentine’s Day History Treat

It was recently bought to my personal attention by a very eager contributor to The Scorpion Army that I skipped anything about Valentine’s Day yet another year. It’s true, I do skip it, it’s a stupid “holiday” in my opinion. I truly dislike absolutely everything about it, especially the commercialization of how one is to show love or affection. It just blows my mind the amount of money dole out, and for what? I could mention Christmas and Easter as well, but we’ll get back to those another day altogether. Since I’m way behind on the whole email reading thing I’m just now getting to this one, I hope she understands. But, this is an interesting look at the iconic Valentine’s Day heart’s origin, or at least one opinion, and if nothing else it sparked my interest a little. I’ve said for a long time that the worship of the ass of females should be a religion. Anyway, I don’t know where she got the information below or how accurate it is, but it made me smile, so I chose to share.

The familiar double-lobed heart symbol seen on modern day Valentine’s Day cards and candy was inspired by the shape of human female buttocks as seen from the rear. The twin lobes of the stylized version correspond roughly to the paired auricles and ventricles of the anatomical heart, but is never bright red in color and its shape does not have the invagination at the top nor the sharp point at the base. The ancient Greeks and Romans originated the link between human female anatomy and the heart shape. The Greeks associated beauty with the curves of the human female behind. The Greek goddess of beauty, Aphrodite, was beautiful all over, but was unique in that her buttocks were especially beautiful. Her shapely rounded hemispheres were so appreciated by the Greeks that they built a special temple Aphrodite Kallipygos, which literally meant, ‘Goddess with the Beautiful Buttocks.’ This was probably the only religious building in the world that was dedicated to buttock worship.

What the traditional “heart shape” actually depicts is a matter of some controversy. It only vaguely resembles the human heart. The seed of the silphium plant, used in ancient times as an herbal contraceptive, has been suggested as the source of the heart symbol. The heart symbol could also be considered to depict features of the human female body, such as the female’s buttocks, pubic mound, or spread vulva. The tantric symbol of the “Yoni” is another example of a heart-shaped abstraction of a woman’s vulva.

What Is This Bullshit On The Radio?

I mean, really, what the fuck happened? I don’t listen to regular fucking radio, ever, I have avoided commercial radio for many years because it simply sucks shit. Living in Houston one would figure the options would be a grand as the city. But noooooooooo, if one doesn’t listen to hip hop, rap, autotune, top 40, country, Latin, Hispanic, talk radio, or christian music, one is severely fucked. There is ONE, just ONE, classic rock station available which hugs a dick because of a very small library or a very short attention span, you pick. Normally I’m plugged into my personal 10,000+ song library but today it wanted to give me grief and I didn’t feel like fucking with it, until I tried to go regular radio. After slapping myself for such an ignorant fucking lapse in my common sense I got my personal shit running.

I know, of all the fucking great things to bitch and rant about, I pick commercial radio of all things no less. Why? It’s no big fucking deal, right? Right, if that is the fucking shit you want to hear coming out of your speakers. So, unless you pay for radio or listen to your own mix then you are ate the fucking mercy of a disc jockey who could give two shits about you personally. Am I being too selfish? Am I asking for too much from commercial radio? Yes, you are right, I do ask far too much, hell I’m not the one paying the bills for them, and I know that. Great thing I can fend for my damn self isn’t it. So now what? Nothing. I just wanted to remind y’all that commercial radio fucking blows, but y’all probably already knew that. Some of y’all listen to the that shit daily and on purpose no less. Anyway, I’ve learned my fucking lesson for the day, don’t trust commercial radio to satisfy you music needs, because they cannot. And that’s the absolute fucking truth my friends, truth indeed!

Scraping The Bottom Of The Barrel

Man oh fucking man where do I even begin to describe what has been happening? There has been a major influx of ranting and raving about something I made up supposedly but never actually made up except to have some fun. I won’t self gratify in front of others by posting links to past posts which are referenced to quite a bit in these messages from people with allot of butthurt recently. It would seem that many who read the posts here on this blog have got the wrong impression. I have written my fair share posts about religion here on this blog, that’s a true statement, and the reader is always left to assume what my true motive of doing so really is, also a true statement. But, make one single fucking reference to the Church of Scorpion, and it was a single one time small reference, along with joining The Scorpion Army (fan club), and all of a sudden I am the leader of a non-existent cult religion that needs to be overthrown by all the government recognized religions. When did this fucking happen. Yes, I made a sign on the computer at a sign generator web site in the likeness of a very recognizable kind of sign, a sign not too different from the marquee signs seen out in front of many churches which are filled with upcoming events and even quoted scripture. But never, not even once have I said I started a religion or this is the actual marquee for the building we would worship in.

But, like always, lets take it to the next level, lets take it to the extreme, lets make things into something they are not to fit your pathetic needs. Is the fact that I discuss religion in the light that I do a threat to who you believe in or how you choose to believe? The answer you seek is no, don’t be such a butthurt dumb fuck. As you will read, and fans of this blog will need to brace yourselves, because you are being attacked and called names as well. True readers of this blog know I post about many topics, from A to Z, but seriously, how can someone ever gather I have started my very own religion. I post the picture again for the purpose of reminding you what was posted originally. I assure y’all it was done in sarcastic humor, there isn’t a secret underground church somewhere in my backyard or even in my dark, twisted imagination. Below you will see/read a few of the emails I received lately, they remain untitled and anonymous for a reason. They are unedited and unfiltered, so make sure you are wearing your rose colored glasses. If you make it to the end of this post you will be able to read some follow up which might just help you make sense of it all, or not, your choice.

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You are the most sick, fucked up, twisted, inbreed, stupid son of a fucking whore bitch I have ever seen in my entire life. You need to seek mental help. I think you have smoked to much crack and done to much acid. Although you do have a right to start a new religion, BUT, your religion is not recognized by the government simply because it is purely fucking stupid. You will burn in fucking hell the rest of your god damn life you piece of shit fucking inbreed fuck!

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I’m ont going to go all ape shit on you because I’m a firm beliver of people chosing their own religions or lack of one. HOWEVER I do find if ofencive when you make a mockery of other religions, be it christianity, buddhism, judaism, etc. so I think it fair that you respect other people’s belifes and not posting material that INTENTIONALY offends other people,

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What exactly do you think you are going to prove? it’s just disrespectful to other human being’s faiths and beliefs, and I’m sure all people should know u can’t put any sense into say a devout christian. Honestly, what your doing is the equivalant of making a rude, sarcastic joke to a child that doesn’t understand humor. u cant tell a christian thats been raised from birth to believe that there’s a magic man in the clouds that he’s wrong. you’ll just get what uve been getting, hate mail, and death threats. God is the equivalant of santa exept the child is never told he isn’t real until it’s to late. and u think your doing a good thing by making up this church of scorpion crap to prove how absurd the idea of god is. what i don’t think u understand is that u cant argue with idiots about this stuff as most christians are dont know a thing about science. (I apoligize to all respectable christian scientists). As an athiest, im disgusted what youre doing. (yes ive read your blog). Really, did it ever, or does it ever occur to you that these people are actually human being’s with family’s and feeling’s, and just because they think the world was created  differantly than you, you have to mock them,  that’s kind of a dick move you asshole. Your being no better than they are (religious people) by making fun of and disrespecting other people just ’cause they think differantly than you. What do you worship, satan himself? Which means I have the right to ridicule you on how stupid your dumb-fucking religion is and don’t deny that you worship the all mighty satan king, because your the leader of the church of scorpion. With the true words of your religion written cryptically throughout your blog. It’s ironic that you, by trying to prove how bad religion is, go about it by you yourself inbodying everything that is wrong with human beliefs. You are everything that is wrong with religion. You go around acting all superior and pompus, like you know better than everyone else and tell them why there wrong mockingly. The world would be a better place if you took all your “followers” (scorpion minions) got on a pirate ship and ate scorpion shit until you all died of overeating. Have you ever heard the term live and let live? I love it how  you post all the hate mail you get on your page to be ridiculed by your cronies ( who by the way need to get off the internet and do something productive). Yes we the the bible huggars are gonna say dumb stuff because they’re uneducated. But that doesn’t mean you have to be immature and make fun of their faults so just lay the fuck off. Even though this message sounds hostile just know I agree with what your’e trying to do (i think) educating people, I just wholly disagree with how you are going about it.

My personal response was as follows: It’s not my intention to mock or offend anyone. But I realize people sometimes feel mocked or offended and I’m okay with that fully. It might be fair to say that I am disrespectful.  I would agree that I don’t respect the notion that religion should sit on a pedestal.  I don’t think that because an action is explained in the context of religion it is exempt from the scrutiny it otherwise would have been subjected to.  Religion is not a free pass for crazy fucking fairy tale ideas and crazy actions. I would agree that it’s not my place to pass judgment on those who see the world through a lens of religion.  But neither is it my place to ignore when personal belief becomes public action.  I can accept that some choose to teach their kids the earth is only 6000 years old and that dinosaurs are a myth.  But if they push for those ideas to be taught in our schools, it’s no longer a question of respecting personal belief. The idea that rational minded people must be anti-religion is a wrong one, I think. If we must draw a line to divide ourselves, I’d prefer the line be positioned between reasonable and unreasonable people, rather than religious and non-religious people. It’s one thing to see the world through a lens, and another thing to act as if it’s the only lens that can exist.

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I spent a while thinking of a good reply, in general in concern of your blog, without sounding like some sort of inbred hick or perhaps maybe to get your attention. However, I realize that there pretty much is no way for that to happen, if you put this in your hate-mail section, I’ll probably be mocked just as much as the next guy who chooses to criticize your new religion. I’m OK with that, I just wish people will actually think about what I have to say rather then ignorantly mocking what I believe personally. Whatever may happen, I don’t really mind, except that I cannot bring myself to be silent on this issue.

I am a Christian, whatever you may think about me, or absurd assumptions you may have about what I look like, think like, or speak like, realize this, I think all beliefs should be treated with equality. Atheism, Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Agonist, Voodoo, The Church of Scorpion, whatever, I don’t care, if you believe that you are correct, then you have every right in the world to believe that with all your heart, and nobody should force you to believe what they believe. Now I also believe in open criticism of any of these religions, meaning your Church of Scorpion view that openly mocks religion. However, it is also my right to criticize the criticism, meaning though while I believe it is your right to mock, harass, and generally make religious persons miserable, I don’t believe it is morally right.

Atheism is a belief just as much as Christianity. Say whatever you want about facts and how religion is stupid and all those who practice it are all idiots, but it still comes down to the fundamental truth that you must believe this to be more true over the other option. I am again, completely fine with that, and that is why I love America so much, because we CAN believe differently then one another, and still live peacefully (to a degree) together. However, mocking is not the right way to go about arguing your belief.

    By the way, here is the definition of mocking:

1. Tease or laugh at in a scornful or contemptuous manner.

2. Make (something) seem laughably unreal or impossible.

To laugh at someone else’s belief that they dedicate their lives to is not funny or humorous, but I believe is rather childish and immature. This is the main reason why I would much rather sit down calmly with someone and have a rational discussion about each other’s beliefs, instead of smacking them in the face with a bible, and shouting how they are going to hell for not believing the undeniable truth that is the bible, or worse, calling their belief idiotic and getting my group of friends together and laughing and pointing in his face.

Of course there are people that do this, hence, you, and there will always be people like you. My job is try to convince you to be rational and discuss each others view points. I could never put myself in your mindset and read this the same way through your eyes. To you, I just look like another idiot who took this too seriously and decided to write a concerned letter and waste his time trying to teach you to be respectful, but the truth is, writing this helps me put my thoughts in order anyways. If you do have one ounce of thought for my beliefs, at least view this email with respect, and try to think about what I am thinking.

What I am thinking is that the joke has gone too far. Of course this email asks for intelligent discussion, and that seems to have never existed on your blog, so before I go, let my put it into a language you might understand.

Fuck you, and lay off religion asshole.

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You are a sick twisted motherfucker and you are an absolute fraud to the highest degree. It’s obvious to me that you don’t give a shit about you’re so-called religion. I am not even that christian but this blog makes me sick. You have no right to start a religion or should I say cult.  People need to think for themselves they don’t need to listen to your bullshit nonsense. I am not even that christian but at least they are trying to help people. What are you trying to do, make money and fill your church with alcohol and with full nude strippers? Do you charge a cover to get it? What is the price, what remains of their souls? That is the most stupid thing I ever heard. I hope the government shuts you down and takes you’re money. Suck it jackass motherfucker cult bitch.

My response was simple. I stated I have started nothing and never claimed to start anything. Nothing has made the grand total of zero dollars because nothing exists because it was a fucking figure of speech giving an example.

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You sicken me with the fact that you now have my best friend believing in your stupid, sick, blasphemous crap you call a religion! I can tell you what it really is, BLASPHEMOUS, MADE DURING A DRUG BINGE, IDOLATRY THAT WILL HAVE YOU BURNING IN HELL OR ON THE TABLE AFTER THE LAST WAR!!!! I am furious about the fact that there is a religion DEVOTED to SIN OF ALL THINGS! If you don’t change you and all your followers will be in a special place in hell just for IDOL WORSHIPPING, SIN LOVERS LIKE YOURSELF!!! You disgust me and I hope you see the truth before it’s too late.

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While I am not of your “religion”. I will not trash your blog like the majority of the blundering baboons around here, instead I am here to support not your religion, but your attempt to keep religion honest. The constitution gives the people not only of freedom of religion but freedom from it.

I am a Hindu and have an open mind to virtually all religions. I know that this religion is not a real religion; but an attempt to show the errors and flaws of most organized religion and those who support it’s full integration into state affairs. I support your attempt to show how religion has become very commercial and corrupt in its mere existence. The majority of people ranting on your blog are not venting against the concept of religion, but against your satire and blatant disrespect of their religion.

Yet, I must warn you not to take this to far. It might push some maniac over the edge and cause them to grab a gun and go after you. This has happened in the past throughout history. Thus, I propose that you put somewhere on your front page of the blog that this is not an actual religion but an attempt to keep religion honest from corruption. That is all, thank you.

My response: I take issue with the idea of so calledreal religion, as if such a thing can be defined and agreed upon.  I’ve said it in the past and I still believe strongly that there is no classification of religion without agenda.  I don’t expect mainstream religion (or a government influenced by mainstream religion) to see my words to be anything more than a joke, a way to get them to look at the reality behind their beliefs. As always, my blog will be seen in terms that serve their purpose and not my own. I comment the way I do because I am rational and reasonable and I’m not driven by any particular dogmatic thinking.  I’m an individual who rejects the concept of faith-over-reason, or indoctrination. Why does humor invalidate your beliefs?  I see this argument all the time and don’t understand it. Not everyone gets it, but again, that is the point. I tend to reject the lowest common denominators about organized and commercial religions in favor of common sense thinking. Is it just that mainstream religion is so utterly humorless?  Most religious people I know have a great sense of humor but I think they would agree that the institution of religion is rigid and stifling.  There are obvious areas where it’s not ok to make a joke.  One of the creepiest things I find about religion is that feeling that everyone is trying to act very serious. While I understand that not everyone will get what I’m doing here and why I do it, it’s not my intention to offend, but everyone takes offense so easily, it’s you’re and their choice.

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I saw your blog and it just amazes me how delusional you are, you are trying to create a delusion around the world. A sick joke gone wrong really, its really sad that you are so completely obsessed with brainwashing. This whole religion is of hate and defies all logic, rational thought, and it shatters common sense completely. You’re lousy evidence doesn’t cut it either. Its not even slightly sane that you write what you write. I bet if a Scientologist and a mutated Christian extremist had sex, the offspring would be a YOU.

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I can appreciate a good joke as much as any other guy.  But there’s a difference between making a joke and insulting other people.  When you begin to bring in specific religious practice or condemnations for not doing as the religion “requires,” that becomes an insult.  Think of it this way: your blog is actually great, but what’s the point of bashing on religions?  It directly says to others that if you don’t believe what I tell you, you’re wrong. Yes, I’m a Christian, no I don’t believe most of the things in the church’s past were okay.  I simply choose to believe that there is a God, and if anybody has any questions about my faith, I’ll be happy to answer and guide them if that’s what they want.  If they believe otherwise, I’ll allow them to stay that way, because there’s nothing I can do to force their belief.  All I’m really saying is, think about what purpose each thing you say serves, and whether it’s taking it a step too far, which I think you have personally.

So, I replied with saying the point of this blog is not to offend, but understand it is bound to happen.  I’m really not anti-religion and many readers here are active members in mainstream religions. Part of what I do here is question ideas considered rude to question. I think it’s a dangerous situation for institutions and ideas to be above scrutiny.  Christians often threaten nonbelievers with THEIR hell-place for various sins or sinful lifestyles – either explicitly, or indirectly, or in a judging veiled-friendliness sort of way.  But nonbelievers DON’T BELIEVE IN YOUR HELL.  Aside from the fact that I find it offensive the idea that I need a rulebook to define my morality, it is a strange proposition to be invited to believe in scripture in order to be saved from a consequence of it.  So, understand that around here there is an effort not to offend people, but at the same take a hard look at the strange business of religion.

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I saw your retarded fuck of a bastard blog and asked myself “why?” but then, there are a lot of crackheads in the world, and you seem to be one of the more insane ones. This is a joke blog, right? Can you honestly tell yourself that you truly believe in this load of shit you spew regularly? For your own health, I ask you to stop whatever the fuck you’re smoking.

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Wow, what a scam you have used to set yourself up with money and Im guessing fame and all the stupid bimbos and other trappings it all brings. Just remember, since there is no god or religion there is nothing wrong with killing some low life, “educated” or not (or any other act). As an exemplar of life without a God, there is nothing keeping people from acting out against others in any capacity other than the relatively obscure chance of being caught. I personally believe in God. I like to think that I am held responsible at a higher level than what man does. I do like to think there’s more. I hope you pay for your actions sooner or later in life. I’m sure you will at some point.

So, I replied….    The majority of Christians who email understand general purpose here and the purpose is not to mock them as individuals. Most Christians who I’ve talked to see problems with organized religion and the abuses and fraud that get tied up with faith and power. For the most part I think I do a good job of turning down the volume of what I really think, and I think that’s a healthy thing. Just as Christians have a few members who will be riled enough to write nasty emails to me, there will times I get riled enough to respond in kind. But the majority of the time I’m pretty reasonable and rational.

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This is the most fucking pathetic excuse for a blog I think I’ve ever encountered. Why do you have to make fun of my religion, and others? Seriously, stop making fun of other religions. Okay, you are the most twisted, racist fucking bastard on the planet. Why, do you have to make fun of other religions? Probably because you want to just kick back and laugh at other people, and bash them. That’s why. Your version of heaven sucks huge fucking dicks. I don’t want strippers in heaven because they are all nasty as fuck. You aren’t even trying, and your version of Hell is the most retarded thing I’ve ever heard of. When you’re already DEAD it doesn’t FUCKING MATTER. Fuck you sir, don’t be suprised when you die if you burn in Hell, because I am a solid Christian and I am praying for you, and I really hate that you have to MOCK other religions. You are very sick, and I hope that you burn in Hell. Don’t be suprised if you get sued for being such a TWISTED FUCKING DOUCHEBAG!

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It is disheartening at least and sickening at worst that you sought to make a blog solely to promote your foolish beliefs, serious or not. Let’s see your lack of deity save your soul and work miracles. I am sincerely concerned for your sanity, but I don’t give a damn if God strikes you dead. How dare you mock the Father in such a manner? To be atheistic is expected, as humans have little faith for what cannot be seen. But to mock the religions of others? That is to stoop lower, into the depths of Hell itself. You are hardly worthy of being Satan’s pet pig. Swine. Nothing more than something to be sneered at for smelliness. You and your so-called followers sicken me.

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After reading some of the posts on your blog, I have come to the conclusion that you aren’t so concerned with the question of why you are here but rather in proving that your existence is without meaning and therefore does not qualify itself to be questioned. Congratulations! You are meaningless. So what do we do now that we’ve settled that little philosophical debate? Are you up for a drinks and strippers or should we just stand still still until the next random event pushes us in some direction?

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You poke fun at God and are a disgrace to him and religion. You need to repent and ask for his forgiveness. You should be ashamed of the trash you write and your completely unfunny sarcasm. God has reserved a special place for people like you and it is in a very warm climate, and you will be on vacation for eternity. You will have allot of company with you and that is your so called fans. May God have mercy on all of your souls !

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And here is where I make the choice to end it all, well not all, but this small sampling is the fun shit that has been emailed or sent as comments to different posts I have presented over the last few weeks. There are 196 more that generally all say the same thing, these just stood out in their originality so I decided to share. Such a small percentage of posts here are religion related but those are the ones that people get butthurt about. As far as my so called religion or my so called church, I don’t get how idiots can get that idea in the first place. My writing is, at most, pretty fucking sarcastic, I just write about my opinions, and bullshit like this makes me question my own motives as well as the motives of the people who read this blog. Perhaps we should try reading the non religious themed posts to get a better idea of what I really think. This blog is an illusional mirror of life, not just mine, but yours too. All I’m saying is we all make choices, some people come here with the intent to complain and others come here to see what they know I offer, which isn’t much, but at times can be very revealing, no pun intended. So, my message to the haters is to lighten up or piss up a rope in a south wind.

And for the final time, I have formed NO religion, NO cult, and NO church. You have misinformed your self looking through life with that single lens. I don’t hate your religion, I just want to be a part of your religion and I want it to be outside of my life in general. But, by all means, twist that around as well, because that is what I’ve come to expect. If you made it to this part of the post, thanks for hanging in there, I hope you didn’t choke on anything on your way down to the bottom here. Until next time, be safe and be kind. Or, just do whatever it is you fucking do.

What Is Your Religion Really About

Today let’s talk about religion, but not how you are thinking about talking about religion, let’s talk about the “other” religions out there, the off the beaten path religions, the religions that have the odd origins, the odd practices, and the roots that some of us, well me, find just a little bit out there. For those of y’all in practice of one or more religions that I mention, just remember the following information is public as far as I know and is not a leak from inside your particular cult and/or religion. The information, as it would be, was passed along to me by a member of The Scorpion Army, the information was originally collected to write a college sociology paper to discuss the relationships between people and the religious leaders they follow. A paper I could never have written, seems the term sheeple is not an acceptable term to describe a religious organization’s flock of followers. So, without further ado, lets look at religions which might seem a little bizarre or weird to the main stream public of the world. By the way, I’ve fired my proof reader, so if there are duplicates or misspellings y’all just need to suck it up.

One will notice that there will be a handful of religions not discussed, that should be discussed, but I’m not setting out to bust anybody’s balls today or to ruffle any feathers. This post is for entertainment purposes, maybe even a little educational, and perhaps might even open our eyes to the different things, people, idols, places, ideas, concepts, objects, or times we worship to get through our days and nights. The order of this list is in no particular order, nor does the order of the list mean anything specific. Religion can be understood largely as an attempt of a group of individuals to understand existential questions based on a set of cultural practices specific to that group. Sometimes these practices may not seemingly conform to our normal expectations from a ‘religion’. But they succeed in fulfilling what is expected of a religion- uniting people because of the belief that they may share. However, there is one condition that all religions must comply. They must not hinder the lives of others.

The Church of Scientology is a cult created by L Ron Hubbard (Elron) in 1952 as an outgrowth of his earlier self-help system called Dianetics. The Church of Scientology holds that at the higher levels of initiation (OT levels) mystical teachings are imparted that may be harmful to unprepared readers. These teachings are kept secret from members who have not reached these levels. In the OT levels, Hubbard explains how to reverse the effects of past-life trauma patterns that supposedly extend millions of years into the past. Among these advanced teachings is the story of Xenu (sometimes Xemu), introduced as an alien ruler of the “Galactic Confederacy.” According to this story, 75 million years ago Xenu brought billions of people to Earth in spacecraft resembling Douglas DC-8 airliners, stacked them around volcanoes and detonated hydrogen bombs in the volcanoes. The thetans then clustered together, stuck to the bodies of the living, and continue to do this today. Scientologists at advanced levels place considerable emphasis on isolating body thetans and neutralizing their ill effects.

Nuwaubianism is an umbrella term used to refer to the doctrines and teachings of the followers of Dwight York. The Nuwaubians originated as a Black Muslim group in New York in the 1970s, and have gone through many changes since. Eventually, the group established a headquarters in Putnam County, Georgia in 1993, which they have since abandoned. York is now in prison after having been convicted on money laundering and child molestation charges, but Nuwaubianism endures. York developed Nuwaubianism by drawing on a wide range of sources which include Theosophy-derived New Age movements such as Astara as well as the Rosicrucians, Freemasonry, the Shriners, the Moorish Science Temple of America, the revisionist Christianity & Islam and the Qadiani cult of Mirza Ghulam Ahmad, the numerology of Rashad Khalifa, and the ancient astronaut theories of Zecharia Sitchin. White people are said in one Nuwaubian myth to have been originally created as a race of killers to serve blacks as a slave army, but this plan went awry. Here is a list of some of the more unusual Nuwaubian beliefs:

1. It is important to bury the afterbirth so that Satan does not use it to make a duplicate of the recently-born child
2. Furthermore, some aborted fetuses survive their abortion to live in the sewers, where they are being gathered and organized to take over the world
3. People were once perfectly symmetrical and ambidextrous, but then a meteorite struck Earth and tilted its axis causing handedness and shifting the heart off-center in the chest
4. Each of us has seven clones living in different parts of the world
5. Women existed for many generations before they invented men through genetic manipulation
6. Homo sapiens is the result of cloning experiments that were done on Mars using Homo erectus
7. Nikola Tesla came from the planet Venus
8. The Illuminati have nurtured a child, Satan’s son, who was born on 6 June 1966 at the Dakota House on 72nd Street in New York to Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis of the Rothschild/Kennedy families. The Pope was present at the birth and performed necromantic ceremonies. The child was raised by former U.S. president Richard Nixon and now lives in Belgium, where it is hooked up bodily to a computer called “The Beast 3M” or “3666.”

The Church of Euthanasia (CoE), is a political organization started by the Reverend Chris Korda (pictured above) in the Boston, Massachusetts area of the United States. According to the church’s website, it is “a non-profit educational foundation devoted to restoring balance between Humans and the remaining species on Earth.” The CoE uses sermons, music, culture jamming, publicity stunts and direct action combined with an underlying sense of satire and black humor to highlight Earth’s unsustainable population. The CoE is notorious for its conflicts with Pro-life Christian activists. According to the church’s website, the one commandment is “Thou shalt not procreate”. The CoE further asserts four principal pillars: suicide, abortion, cannibalism (“strictly limited to consumption of the already dead”), and sodomy (“any sexual act not intended for procreation”). Slogans employed by the group include “Save the Planet, Kill Yourself”, “Six Billion Humans Can’t Be Wrong”, and “Eat a Queer Fetus for Jesus”, all of which are intended to mix inflammatory issues to unnerve those who oppose abortion and homosexuality.

The Prince Philip Movement is a cargo cult of the Yaohnanen tribe on the southern island of Tanna in Vanuatu. The Yaohnanen believe that Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, the consort to Queen Elizabeth II, is a divine being, the pale-skinned son of a mountain spirit and brother of John Frum. According to ancient tales the son travelled over the seas to a distant land, married a powerful lady and would in time return. The villagers had observed the respect accorded to Queen Elizabeth II by colonial officials and came to the conclusion that her husband, Prince Philip, must be the son from their legends. When the cult formed is unclear, but it is likely that it was sometime in the 1950s or 1960s. Their beliefs were strengthened by the royal couple’s official visit to Vanuatu in 1974 when a few villagers had the opportunity to observe the prince from afar. Prince Philip was made aware of the religion and has exchanged gifts with its leaders and even visited them.

The Creativity Movement (formerly known as World Church Of The Creator), is a white separatist organization that advocates the whites-only religion, Creativity. It was also a descriptive phrase used by Ben Klassen, that included all adherents of the religion. The use of the term creator does not refer to a deity, but rather to themselves (white people). Despite the former use of the word Church in its name, the movement is atheistic. Creativity is a White Separatist religion that was founded by Ben Klassen in early 1973 under the name Church of the Creator. After Klassen’s death in 1993, Creativity almost died out as a religion until the New Church of the Creator was established three years later by Matthew F. Hale as its Pontifex Maximus (high priest), until his incarceration in January 2003 for plotting with the movement’s head of security, Anthony Evola (an FBI informant), to murder a federal judge.

Thee Temple ov Psychick Youth (TOPY) was founded in 1981 by members of Psychic TV, Coil, Current 93, and a number of other individuals. The ever-evolving network is a loosely federated group of people operating as a unique blend of artistic collective, and practitioners of magic. TOPY is dedicated to the manifestation of magical concepts lacking mysticism or the worship of gods. The group focuses on the psychic and magical aspects of the human brain linked with “guiltless sexuality”. Throughout its existence, TOPY has been an influential group in the underground Chaos magic scene and in the wider western occult tradition. TOPY’s research has covered both Left-hand path and Right-hand path magick, various elements of psychology, art, music, and a variety of other media. Some of the influences on the network have been Aleister Crowley, Austin Osman Spare, and Brion Gysin.

The Church of the SubGenius is a parody religion that promotes slack, while in a meta-commentarial way, satirizes religion, conspiracy theories, UFOs, and popular culture. The church claims to have been founded in the 1950s by the “world’s greatest salesman” J. R. “Bob” Dobbs. “Bob” Dobbs is depicted as a cartoon of a Ward Cleaver-like man smoking a pipe. The church really started with the publication of SubGenius Pamphlet #1 in 1979. It found acceptance in underground pop-culture circles and has been embraced on college campuses, in the underground music scene, and on the Internet. An important SubGenius event occurred on July 5, 1998: X-Day. The Church had been predicting that on this day the world would be destroyed by invading alien armies known as the X-ists (which is short for “Men from Planet X”). When the event didn’t come to pass, the church administrator who predicted it was tarred and feathered – but allowed to continue on as administrator. Paul Reubens (Pee-wee Herman) is a SubGenius minister. Patrick Volkerding, the founder and maintainer of Slackware Linux, is also a SubGenius affiliate, and he has confirmed the Church and “Bob” inspired the name for Slackware.

Universe people or Cosmic people of light powers (Czech: Vesmírní lidé sil sv?tla) is a Czech religious movement centered around Ivo A. Benda. Its belief system is based upon the existence of extraterrestrial civilizations communicating with Benda and other “contacters” since October 1997 telepathically and later even by direct personal contact. According to Benda those civilizations operate a fleet of spaceships, led by Ashtar Sheran, orbiting the Earth. They closely watch and help the good and are waiting to transport their followers into another dimension. The Universe People’s teachings incorporate various elements from ufology (some foreign “contacters” are credited, though often also renounced after a time as misguided or deceptive), Christianity (Jesus was a “fine-vibrations” being) and conspiracy theories (forces of evil are supposed to plan compulsory chipping of the population).

The Nation of Yahweh is a predominantly African-American religious group that is the most controversial offshoot of the Black Hebrew Israelites line of thought. They were founded in 1979 in Miami by Hulon Mitchell, Jr., who went by the name Yahweh ben Yahweh. Their goal is to return African Americans, whom they see as the original Israelites, to Israel. The group departs from mainstream Christianity and Judaism by accepting Yahweh ben Yahweh as the Son of God. In this way, their beliefs are unique and distinct from that of other known Black Hebrew Israelite groups. The group has engendered controversy due to legal issues of its founder and has also faced accusations of being a black supremacist cult by the Southern Poverty Law Center and The Miami Herald. The SPLC has criticized the beliefs of the Nation of Yahweh as racist, stating that the group believed blacks are “the true Jews” and that whites were “white devils.” They also claim the group believed Yahweh ben Yahweh had a Messianic mission to vanquish whites and that they held views similar to the Christian Identity movement.

The Church of All Worlds is a neo-pagan religion founded in 1962 by Oberon Zell-Ravenheart and his wife Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart. The religion evolved from a group of friends and lovers who were in part inspired by a fictional religion of the same name in the science fiction novel Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein; the church’s mythology includes science fiction to this day. They recognize “Gaea,” the Earth Mother Goddess and the Father God, as well as the realm of Faeries and the deities of many other pantheons. Many of their ritual celebrations are centered on the gods and goddesses of ancient Greece. Following the tradition of using fiction as a basis for his ideas, Zell-Ravenheart recently founded The Grey School of Wizardry inspired in part by Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the school in the Harry Potter novels.

Cheondoism is a 20th-century Korean religious movement that has its origins in a peasant rebellion in 1812. Cheondoist theology is basically monotheistic, pantheistic and panentheistic. Cheondoism is rooted in Korean shamanism and Korean Buddhism, with elements drawn from Christianity. It has become so popular in Communist North Korea that it is now the leading religion there. The religion believes that God exists in each of us and that we should all strive to make earth a paradise. It attempts to transform the believers into intelligent moral beings with a high social consciousness.

Mazdakism is a religion founded by Mazdak, a socialist Persian (Iranian) reformer in the 6th century BC. He claimed to be a prophet (similar to Mohammed 1,200 years later) and instituted communal possessions and social welfare programs. The two distinguishing factors of Mazdak’s teaching were the reduction of the importance of religious formalities — the true religious person being the one who understood and related correctly to the principles of the universe — and a criticism of the strong position of Zoroastrian clergy, who, he believed, had oppressed the Persian population and caused much poverty. Despite the concepts of good conduct and Pacifism, the followers of Mazdak raided the palaces and harems of the rich, removing the valuables to which they believed they had equal rights.

Builders of the Adytum (or BOTA for short) is a religion created in California by Dr. Paul Foster Case. The religion teachs its adherants by correspondence but also has bases around the world where people meet and perform religious ceremonies. Most of the beliefs and teachings are based on esoteric psychology, occult tarot, Hermetic Qabalah, Astrology, and meditation techniques. BOTA is not a strictly Christian organization, nor is it Jewish. B.O.T.A believes that the Qabalah is the mystical root of both ancient Judaism and the original Christianity, but people of all faiths are accepted if they are mystically inclined.

Asatru is a revival of ancient Nordic religion based upon polythesitc faith and mythic tales. According to the religion, there are four key deities and several minor gods. Adherents usually live in communities called Kindreds. They ascribe to the “Nine Noble Virtues” as a model for their lives. While the original Norse would have participated in animal sacrifice, modern worshipers offer mead, a honey-wine, to the gods. Major holidays revolve around the changing seasons with Yule being the most important. It is celebrated in late December and continues for twelve days.

Eckankar was established by American John Paul Twitchell in 1965. It is a monotheistic faith, which worships the divine spirit “Eck.” Eckankar is similar to some Eastern religions in its belief that the soul is constantly reincarnated until it achieves spiritual liberation. The religion teaches that spiritual growth is only possible through special meditative exercises similar to yoga. Through these practices, the soul can escape the physical form and enter the Sugmad, or spiritual realm. Successful completion of one’s spiritual journey results in a reunification with Eck.

Jainism was founded in India over 2500 years ago. It survives today with approximately four million believers, called J. This polytheistic faith preaches that many gods exist alongside humans in a complex hierarchy. The Jain gods are symbolic of common human ideas. Similar to Buddhism, the goal of “Jain Life” is to achieve spiritual perfection and free the soul from the cycle of rebirth. Those who succeed in this endeavor are called jinas. Jain worship centers on icons and numerous Jain temples in India contain images of the 24 tirthankaras, revered spiritual leaders. Offerings are frequently made to these images as part of Jain ritual. Meditation and monasticism are also key features of Jainism.

Founded in the early 20th century, this religion is based around so-called “Prophet Healing” churches in Africa. It claims around one million adherents, mostly in Nigeria. Aladura is directly related to the Anglican movement of Christianity. It was founded as a response to missionary movements in Africa. The religion emphasizes divine healing and a strict moral code. Its practices mix Anglican traditions with African rituals. Many ritual objects are involved in the practice, and the faiths leaders are known as prophets who are entrusted with healing believers through rituals and prayer.

This Vietnamese religion combines elements of Confucianism, Taoism, Buddhism, and Catholicism. It was founded in 1926 and claims up to 6 million adherents. Believers worship a vast array of saints, which includes such notable figures as Julius Caesar and Pericles. The ecclectic nature of Cao Dai complements its idealistic mission to create a more tolerant world. Adherents see all humans as sharing a divine heritage. The practicies of this faith are somewhat occult and derived from Taoist traditions. Believers hold seances in addition to group prayer and elaborate ritual ceremonies.

Falun Gong is a recent religious movement with roughly three million practitioners. It was founded in China in 1992 by Li Hongzhi. It combines elements of Buddhism, Taoism, and Confucianism with traditional Chinese folklore. Falun Gong aims to obtain mental and spiritual renewal through meditation. Adherents practice special exercises to awaken their center of spiritual energy and rid themselves of physical and spiritual ailments. The faith has received extensive criticism from the Chinese government, which initially saw the new cult as a threat. Outsiders also tend to ridicule Falun Gong’s contention that antagonistic space aliens are manipulating world leaders.

With nearly two billion professed adherents worldwide, Christianity is currently the largest religion in the world. It has dominated western culture for centuries and remains the majority religion of Europe and the Americas. Christian belief centers on the life of Jesus of Nazareth, a teacher and healer of first-century Palestine. The primary source of information about the life of Jesus are the Gospels, four books written by different authors 30-100 years after Jesus’ death. The Gospels eventually became the first four books of the New Testament. Christian practices vary by denomination, but common elements include a Sunday worship service, private and corporate prayer, study and reading of the Scriptures, and participation in rites such as baptism and communion. Distinctive Catholic practices include recognition of seven total sacraments, Sunday mass, devotion to the Virgin Mary and the saints, and veneration of relics and places associated with holy figures. Eastern Orthodoxy holds many practices in common with Catholicism, but is especially distinguished by the central role of icons: ornate images of Christ and the saints believed to provide a connection to the spiritual world.

Wicca is a highly spiritual religion based on the ancient pre-christian pagan religions.  Not all pagans are wiccans!  Wiccans believe in divine forces as the source of all.  It is both immanent and transcendent while encompassing the whole universe.  Therefore the world and all aspects within the world, “nature” and “life itself” in particular, are considered sacred. Wiccans use ancient and modern ceremonies, rituals and shamanic practices to attune themselves to the natural rhythms of nature, the world, and the universe in their efforts to commune with this divine force. To communicate with the force, wiccans believe it to be manifest in the form of a goddess and god.  As they emanate from the same source, both retain equal power, hence equal status.  By manifesting the power in two deities (goddess and god), the natural balance of opposites, cause and effect are retained, e.g.  Summer/winter, light/ dark, life and death etc.  Each opposite is essential to maintaining the balance and rhythm of life on earth.

Islam is one of the largest religions in the world, with over 1 billion followers. It is a monotheistic faith based on revelations received by the Prophet Muhammad in 7th-century Saudi Arabia. The Arabic word islam means “submission,” reflecting the faith’s central tenet of submitting to the will of God. Followers of Islam are called Muslims. According to Islamic tradition, the angel Gabriel appeared to the Prophet over the course of 20 years, revealing to him many messages from God. Muslims recognize some earlier Judeo-Christian prophets—including Moses and Jesus—as messengers of of the same true God. But in Islam, but Muhammad is the last and greatest of the prophets, whose revelations alone are pure and uncorrupted.  The Prophet dedicated the remainder of his life to spreading a message of monotheism in a polytheistic world. In 622, he fled north to the city of Medina to escape growing persecution. This event marks the beginning of the Islamic calendar. Eight years later, Muhammad returned to Mecca with an army and conquered the city for Islam. By Muhammad’s death, 50 years later, the entire Arabian Peninsula had come under Muslim control. The sacred text of Islam, the Qur’an, was written in Arabic within 30 years of Muhammad’s death. Muslims believe it contains the literal word of God. Also important is the tradition of the sayings and actions of Muhammad and his companions, collected in the Hadith.

Worshippers of Satan can broadly be categorised as spiritualists for whom Satan is an actual deity and atheists for whom Satan is a figure symbolising crisis of faith, individualism and free will. Certain sects are notorious for their activities. Like the ‘Beasts of Satan’ committed murders in Italy between 1998-2004. The ‘Order of Nine Angels’ affirmed human sacrifice (1960s). The public practice began with the establishment of the Church of Satan in 1966.

The Rastafari believe that the Ethiopian King Haile Selassie is the God of All. The aim of the religious movement is to restore pride in African identity which suffered because of the forces of colonialism. They proclaim Zion as the original birthplace of mankind and reject ‘Babylon’ or the world of materialism. Bob Marley is one famous Rastafari who followed the principles of Rastafarian lifestyle including ritual use of marijuana, avoiding alcohol and wearing one’s hair in dreadlocks.

Claude Vorilhon formed the religion in 1974 as a U.F.O. religion. Raëlians believe that a humanoid species of extraterrestrials, Elohim are responsible for the genesis of the human race. They believe that the Elohim misinformed humans that they were angels and that Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed and others are Prophets of Elohim. They believe that the Elohim will come back to meet us when we are peaceful and ready. They believe in awakening of the mind through awakening of the body. The usage of the Swastika as a religious symbol has caused the religious group some problems in Israel.

Diego Maradona is a legend to say the least. His fans started a religion for him in the year 1998 and has more than a million followers in more than sixty countries. The supporters of the Maradonian Church count the years since the football legend Maradona’s birth in 1960. The use of the neo-Tetragrammaton, D10S as one of the names of Maradona is popular with this group. D10S is a portmanteau word which fuses 10 (diez in Spanish) which is Maradona’s t-shirt number, and dios which is the Spanish word for God.

Influenced by “Born in Zion,” by Carol Balizet, this group denounces the ”seven systems” of mainstream society which include education, government, banking and religion. But also, medicine, science and entertainment. In 2002, the pastor of  The Body of Christ sect -Robidoux and his wife Karen E. Robidoux, were charged with murder along with her husband for starving their child. They said that they were waiting for God’s sign to feed the baby.  This pseudo-Christian cult believes in the power of faith healing.

The Christian Science Church, founded in 1879 by Mary Baker Eddy who survived an accident which could have been fatal by praying to God and reading her Bible.  She wrote books like ‘Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures’. The Church runs on the belief that “Anyone can find God to be a very present help in trouble”. The followers believe that pain does not exist. “The only reality of sin, sickness, or death is the awful fact that unrealities seem real to human, erring belief, until God strips off their disguise”. Though the Church propagates faith healing, healthcare is a matter of individual choice.

A religion inspired by George Lucas’s ‘Star Wars’, Jediism was founded by Daniel Jones and his brother Barney in 2008. There have been incidents when Jedis have been evicted from public places for refusing to take off their hood including the founder,Daniel which led to the beginning of a campaign for Jedi rights. The Jedis believe that the ‘Force’ is a reality and that morality is an innate quality of human beings.  The religion asks followers to beware of the dark side of this force which leads to fear which leads to hate and which in turn leads to suffering. There is no scripture as such. But there are guidelines for Jedi marriages.

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (Pastafarianism) has only one dogma- No dogma! Bobby Henderson’s open letter to the Kansas School Board marked the official beginning of this ‘religion’. The letter demanded that the theory of Intelligent Design and more specifically the theory of the Flying Spaghetti Monster should be taught to students along with theories of Evolution. He reasoned that this must be done to appease the monster and usedgraphs showing relation between pirate population and national disasters to prove this. Seen by some as a satire against religion, the adherents claim that satire is intrinsic to religion.

Frisbeetarianism is the universal belief that when you die your soul goes up onto the roof and stays there for eternity as described by the comedian George Carlin and that “the soul stays stuck up there until someone knocks it down with a long pole and your new life begins”. Some people think it is a rouse of sorts to honor Carlin, a Catholic who was educated at New York City parochial schools and thought organized religion was “the biggest bullshit story ever told.”

Though people are mostly skeptic about the identity of Vampirism as a religion, the adherents believe it is. Vampirism is derived largely from the depiction of vampires in popular culture especially Bram Stoker’s ‘Dracula’ (1897). Vampires can be described as active vampires-who indulge in feeding on blood from a human or an animal and psychic vampires- who indulge in feeding on another person’s aura. Sexuality and its representation have a big role to play.

Undoubtedly I will have left out one or three religions of the world which one of y’all will get particularly bent out of shape for, well, don’t. There’s no need to get bent out of shape, this is just a blanket list of many of the religions of the world. If you weren’t mentioned, sorry, maybe next time. Don’t fuck with me or I will dedicate the next ten posts to the cult of The Westboro Baptist Church. No matter what, we can see that there are what each of us could consider different or strange religions out in the world, and of course, the human design is to judge others, but in the end we were all born to eventually die, to live a meager existence within a population of other people who are just as lost as we are. Eventhough this post was not intended to offend anyone in particular, it will offend someone for some reason or another. Just take the generic information for what it is, go read up on it if you please, I am just the passer of information at this point in time in history. For the rest of y’all, the ones with the common sense, I hope you enjoyed this little exploratory trip into the minds and missions of people the world over.

7 Myths About Christmas Explained

One time each year, the world acts civilized for a few weeks. The “holiday” season brings out feelings and thoughts of goodwill and brotherhood in the masses, who would normally be at each other’s throats, for one reason or another. It’s a sad as shit commentary on the state of things that humans can set aside their differences and actually be nice to complete strangers, but just long enough to say “Happy Holidays” instead of Merry Christmas so nobody gets their their fucking panties in a knot.

I say Merry Christmas. Get over it.

Beginning on Black Friday, the day just after Thanksgiving, although it was on Thanksgiving day this year in the United States, the Christmas season is an officially open invitation for Americans to go on a retail feeding frenzy. As long as you’re not battling your way through the mall or other retail big box stores, someone will offer you good wishes for your holiday season. You may, however, be surprised by the number of widely held beliefs that are inaccurate, misinterpreted, or just plain wrong in regards to the Christmas season. Here’s a look at some of the most common Christmas holiday misconceptions, and how they came to be.

#1 Who Wrote “’Twas The Night Before Christmas”?

An anonymous New York resident submitted this well-known verse, “A Visit From St. Nick,” to the Troy Sentinel in 1823. Clement C. Moore, a local professor and poet, claimed it in 1836, though its structure and style matched none of his other published works. Another family in the area came forward to state that their patriarch had been reciting the poem to them each Christmas Eve since at least 1809. Many suspect that the verse came over with Dutch settlers, because of all the cultural references mentioned in the work. Regardless of its origins, the majority of people are familiar with this poem, but don’t have a clue who gets the credit for writing it or it’s actual origin.

#2 Are Real Christmas Trees A Fire Hazard?

Every year, of the millions of Christmas trees put up all over the world, only a small percentage of fires occur that can be traced back to shitty wiring. Generally, the problem is faulty or overloaded wiring, and not the actual tree, that is to blame. Fire safety experts advise that a real tree is no more hazardous than artificial trees, as long as people are “smart” and remember to keep it watered. But hey, we live in the land of blaming inanimate objects for short comings, why change and accept responsibility once a year. Safety? Fuck safety, we need more fucking lights! Right? Right.

#3 Was Jesus Born On December 25th?

Oddly enough, though bible scholars agree that Christ was more likely born in late Spring or early Autumn, many people still subscribe to the belief that Christmas day is the actual date of his birth. Too many seasonal signs in the scriptures point to the likelihood that he was born during a warmer time of the year. The presence of shepherds in the fields is one of the more blatant signs, but I’m just saying. Centuries later, the Roman Catholics were spreading Christianity to the far reaches of Europe, and trying to assimilate the masses of heathens by superimposing the Christian faith over the pagan traditions already in place. In an attempt to overshadow the pagan celebration of the Winter Solstice, one of Christianity’s more important holy days was intentionally scheduled for December 25th.

#4 Is Christmas The Most Important Christian Holiday?

It may be surprising for many people to discover that, while the celebration of the birth of Christ ranks high in the religious charts, in the eyes of theologians, it comes in second. The birth of the Son of God is an important earmark in history, but the more notable spiritual moment occurred when Christ’s divinity was proven – at his resurrection. Easter marks the historical point where Jesus stopped being a man, and became immortal, and religious scholars consider this the most important landmark in the Christian faith. Interesting enough, the actual date of Easter is also in question, as its springtime celebration coincides suspiciously with the pagan fertility ritual, Ostara, which is where we get Easter eggs and bunnies. Sneaky, huh?

#5 Did Three Kings Visit Jesus In The Manger?

The bible does not say anything about kings visiting Jesus, at any time during his childhood. Scripture states that three wise men followed an exceptionally bright star in the east, finding their way to the Son of God, and bestowing expensive gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. Since these alleged ‘wise men’ still believed in astronomical portents, and none of them had a Eurail pass, it is more likely that the magi caught up with Jesus around his first birthday. Centuries later, a mosaic in Ravenna, Italy, depicted the ‘gifts of the magi,’ and the names of the ‘three kings,’ Gaspar, Melchior, and Balthasar became part of this nativity myth and is still alive and kicking today.

#6 Is It Sacrilegious To Shorten Christmas To “X-Mas?”

The sad truth behind this myth simply illustrates how little modern Christians know about this holiday. Contrary to the belief that people who write “X-mas” are taking Christ out of Christmas, the habit of abbreviating the name is based on the Greek spelling of Christ, “Χριστός.” The Roman spelling also starts with an X. Entomologically, the argument could be made that people who write Christmas as X-mas are keeping the “Christ” in Christmas. This whole ‘X’ thing probably appeals to American rednecks, who can’t spell worth a shit, I know this personally.

#7 Are Santa Claus, Saint Nicolas And Father Christmas The Same Person?

The modern interpretation of Santa Claus, at least in America, is an amalgam of characteristics from several traditions; however, each of these traditions had very different points of origin.

Saint Nicolas was a Turkish bishop who, around the fourth century, dedicated his life to giving to the poor. He died on December 6th, so when the church canonized him, this date became St. Nicolas Day. In the 15th century, as attention focused back onto Christmas, and less on December 6th, Christians of that era wanted to keep the gift-giving tradition, and he became Father Christmas. The Dutch brought St. Nick to the New World, calling him sinterklaas. So, in America at least, Santa Claus is the modern representation of these varied cultures.

These widely held, but incorrect, beliefs don’t dampen the holiday spirits. It is more common these days for everyone to get their panties in a twist when someone says “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays.” Let’s face facts, not everyone celebrates Christmas, but my family and I do, hope that doesn’t get anyone’s ass all chapped. In reality, those who don’t celebrate Christmas don’t offend me, to each his own, the end. Many of your neighbors celebrate Hanukkah, or Kwanza or some will even argue with you to say they are the real Christians who do not believe in Christmas. These days it’s not uncommon to find new age pagans and wiccans, celebrating the Winter Solstice. Count yourselves lucky that, despite your differences, total strangers are willing to extend you the tidings of peace, brotherhood, and goodwill. Considering the intolerance that is so common in the Christian faith and throughout the world, take what you can get from your non-Christian neighbors, and don’t make problems where there aren’t any.

Regardless, of how – or what – you celebrate, have a safe and Merry Christmas season, and a prosperous New Year. So, there you have it, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it, Merry Christmas from The Sting Of The Scorpion Blog.

Posted From Scorpion Sting’s Motorola Droid Maxx!

What Are Succubi? I’m Glad You Asked

In ancient folklore traced back to medieval legend, a “succubus” is an enticing female or supernatural female entity that appears in dreams, who takes the form of a attractive human woman in order to seduce men, usually through sexual intercourse. Religious traditions hold that regular sexual encounters with a succubus may result in the deterioration of the man’s health or even his death. In modern fictional representations, a succubus may or may not appear in dreams and is often depicted as a highly voluptuous seductress or enchantress; whereas, in the past, succubi were generally depicted as frightening and demonic. The word is derived from Late Latin succuba “strumpet” (from succubare “to lie under,” from sub- “under” and cubare “to lie”), used to describe the supernatural being as well. The word is first attested from 1387. And there is the short, Saturday morning version, history lesson boys and girls.

Karma Is A Bitch Westboro Church

Now, typically I stay away from the bullshit that spews out of the Westboro Baptist Church but I found the story y’all are about to read humorous. Well, at least it was humorous to me. You don’t know who the WBC are? Be a friend and just Google them. But, do a search here in this blog or search the tags and you will also find breath I wasted talking about them. Anyway, I owe thanks to Shannon for sending me an email asking if I saw this story, I hadn’t, so I had to look it up. Shannon is one of a handful who belong to the unofficial Scorpion Army who send me stuff they think I might find interesting and one of the few people who make it through the spamguardian. The following story is being borrowed, to include the writer’s opinion, the pictures, and so forth. I give the original author full and entire credit. As far as my take? This is karma at work, the WBC deserves this little reminder right across the street. Fuck them for how they believe and fuck them for how they act, they are the true meaning of being a piece of shit.

Paul Lewis in Topeka

Tuesday 23 September 2014 13.02 EDT

Original story in The Guardian here.

Few neighbourly disagreements are as peculiar, or as visible, as the dispute that rages at the end of Southwest Churchill Road, in an otherwise quiet part of Topeka,Kansas.

On one side of the street is the Westboro Baptist church, the insular and fiercely anti-gay group which has gained infamy for its its offensive protests and placard signs. There is an upside-down American flag in the churchyard and billboards informing passing cars that ‘God Hates Fags’, alongside CCTV cameras, threats to trespassers and a warning that homosexuals risk “the vengeance of eternal fire”.

Across the street, its antithesis. A whole house painted top-to-bottom in rainbow colours, the universal symbol of the gay rights movement. A rainbow flag – hung the right way up – flutters above the roof; hand-painted signs in the yard advocate peace and tell passersby: ‘Feel free to come on property for pictures’.

“This is the first amendment right here,” said Davis Hammet, one of three charity workers living in the rainbow-coloured bungalow, which they have called the Equality House. “Within 50 feet you have a rainbow house and you have people telling them to burn in hell.”

Yet something curious has happened in the 18 months since the property directly opposite the Westboro church was purchased by a peace-loving charity and, in one of the more entrepreneurial acts against a hate group, transformed into a multi-coloured haven for peace, equality and gay pride. Despite appearances, the two opposing neighbours have developed a surprisingly cordial, even amiable detente.

“I go out jogging in the morning, and they’re taking out the trash, and we have small talk,” said Hammet. “Like, ‘Hey, it’s a beautiful day outside’ or ‘This damn snow: I wish I could get warm’. Just basic things that you say to neighbours.”

Occupants of the Westboro church and Equality House have even exchanged phone numbers. Recently, when someone took all of the Equality House gay pride flags and, without their knowledge, deposited them in Westboro’s yard, Hammet’s phone beeped with a text message. “It said something like: ‘A criminal has taken your flags and put them in our yard. We have put them in your mailbox. We would like to return them to you.’”

“It is odd. I didn’t really think this was going to happen,” he concedes. “A lot of people would think that in a situation like this we would have two cannons pointed against each other.”

Stranger still, the feeling of neighbourly tolerance extends across the road. “We’re just very happy to have them here,” said Rebekah Phelps-Davis, a prominent member of the church’s 70-strong congregation. In a twist on that oft-quoted Christian axiom ‘The Lord works in mysterious ways’, Phelps-Davis said God must have determined “from eternity past” that the house would be purchased by the campaigners.

The arrival of Equality House, she pointed out, has been a publicity boon for the Westboro Church, drawing attention to their own, gay-hating message. “We’re always cordial,” she said. “We are friendly with them.” Then, frostily, she added: “But we will not be friends with them.”

That is hardly surprising for a church whose vitriolic diatribes against the gay community have offended millions. The Westboro church – banned from entering the UK or Canada – substitutes argument with shock tactics, traveling to New York to hold up placards thanking God for the 9/11 attacks, or picketing the funerals of American soldiers killed in combat. Both, they claim, are God’s punishment to America for tolerating homosexuality.

Their military funeral pickets, in particular, have proven especially controversial, even though they received the backing of the supreme court on free speech grounds.

Phelps-Davis’s may have a point that the arrival of the rainbow house across the street has been a publicity magnet. But she also contended that her neighbours are “just regular Joes” and “as quiet of as the rest of the neighbourhood”, and that is not true.

The Equality House, owned and run by the charity Planting Peace, attracts a steady flow of supporters, campaigners, and eccentrics from all over the world. Few are the typical characters one would expect to see in Topeka.

“We just had a person just show-up and ask if they could be a unicorn in the space,” said Hammet, 24, the director of operations. “They just showed up in black leather bondage gear, plus rainbow tassles and a unicorn horn, and kind of danced around on the front lawn.”

The Westboro residents have looked on as their neighbours encouraged same sex couples to kiss on their roof, held a gay wedding ceremony in their front yard – directly opposite Westboro’s ‘Gay Marriage Dooms Nations’ sign – and even hosted a rowdy LGBT festival, to be repeated next month, called “Drag Down Bigotry.”

The house has predictably gained fame online, and its residents have become adept at viral fundraising. When a five-year-old girl set up a pink lemonade stand on its lawn, asking for donations to support peace and equality, the campaign took off, drawing soldiers from a nearby base to flock to the house, and raising $30,000.

After the Westboro church announced plans to picket Robin Williams’ funeral, the Equality House retaliated with a fundraiser for the late actor’s favourite charity that brought in $100,000.

The rainbow bungalow has also become a haven for disaffected members of the church, many of whom are related, by blood or marriage, to the founding pastor, Fred Phelps, who died earlier this year aged 84.

Lizzy Phelps, who left the group years ago and now mentors transgender teens, helped paint the house its rainbow colours. Zach Phelps-Roper, who left the church just a few months ago, has also made contact with his old neighbours.

The Equality House’s residents say their arrival was never intended to create an antagonistic relationship. The idea was to counter their hateful message with positivity – and they believe it is working.

When Fred Phelps died in March this year, Hammet sent text messages to Westboro church members, past and present, expressing his heartfelt condolences. A few hours later, he received a reply from a Westboro resident across the road. “I got a text that just said ‘thank you’,” he said. “That is all it said, but to me it was a really human, powerful, moment.”

Yet while civility, and sometimes even kindness, prevails in daily interactions between the neighbours, they are keeping up appearances online. Westboro, a prolific user of social media, is almost constantly trolling its neighbours with antagonistic tweets and Vine recordings.

Most of the time the occupants of the rainbow house ignore the bait, but once in a while they will respond, tongue in cheek.

When Westboro recently put out a video challenging the rainbow house to a weird deviation of the the ALS ice bucket challenge, pouring water over a ‘Hell Is Eternal’ placard, their neighbours reacted with their own, good-humoured YouTube clip, pouring water over their multi-coloured donation box.

“One time we tweeted them a picture of rainbow pancakes and asked them if they’d like to come over for breakfast,” Hammet said. “They just tweeted back that we should burn in hell.”

Where Not To Find Relationship Advice

No, I am not a relationship expert. No, I am not going to give y’all relationship advice. No, I am not trying to confuse you. I personally hate hearing relationship advice and I don’t give it because I don’t know what is rattling around in another fucker’s skull. With that being said, I got a rather lengthy e-mail from my #1 hater (fan/stalker) explaining how I can have a better relationship with my wife since I’m such an asshole. I won’t glorify her ignorance of my marriage by sitting examples but it made me sit down and think of the top five (5) people nobody should take serious relationship advice from. Finding people to give you advice on relationships is like finding people who want a free lunch; everyone has something to say about relationships just like everyone likes a great free lunch. Some of this advice is good and should be filed away in your subconscious for safekeeping, but most relationship advice isn’t so fucking good and should be taken the same way you’d take an article written for international woman’s magazines, with an enormous grain of salt. I don’t think it’s not that people intend to give shitty advice on relationships, rather, the advice is poor because the people who are giving it are either not qualified or they have ulterior motives. With that being said, there are five people (or types of people) you should stay away from when the advice on relationships starts flying.

1. Any and all television personalities. It’s important to remember that they are, above all, entertainerss with that being their number one goal, to enyertain. Entertainers care about their ratings, not about your relationship. If you’re looking at these shows as a model of relationship behavior, you’re barking up the wrong tree so much that you’re not even in the right forest. So while these shows and these people may occasionally offer a pearl of wisdom, remember that it’s Hollywood.

2. Your never-married aunt is another person whose advice on relationships is best to avoid at all costs. People who have never married often can’t help but harbor a certain essence of bitterness or misplaced desires. This isn’t to say that every single person in the world is bitter, but many who have dated for years and never gotten the ultimate reward are like professional athletes who have never won a championship: they are bitter about their lack of a ring.

3. Your seven-times married aunt is one more person you should avoid getting relationship advice from. On the opposite side of those who’ve never married are those who change spouses like most people change cars; when their husband gets too many miles, they trade him in for a younger model. These people can also be bitter because even though they have married, they haven’t done it successfully. But the biggest reason not to seek out their advice for relationships has to do with them not really knowing how to make a relationship actually work.

4. Your ex, never trust your ex to give sound relationship advice. Logic tells us that an ex might have insightful advice that you can truly use. They know you, they know what went wrong, and they know what you could have done to make your relationship work. Logic tells us this, but human behavior tells us the opposite. If you and your ex are truly friends (and don’t just pretend to be in front of the children), no longer harboring any feelings for one another, then an ex might actually be your relationship guru. But if your ex has feelings for you at all, be it love, anger, or hatred, they may purposely sabotage you instead of helping you. Sometimes, it’s just too big of a risk to take. Plus, isn’t that person you ex for one or more reasons?

5. And for the love of whatever diety you pray to, do not take relationship advuce from any comment sections of the internet or from unsolicited e-mails. I was once told that the internet can be a wonderful place for advice on relationships, but it has to be the right area of the internet. What is the “right” area of the internet? Should we just Google it?  The comment section of web articles is not a good place to get advice on relationships or anything else. These sections are filled with baiters whose main goal is to get a rise out of people. They do this through racist, sexist, homophobic, religious,  and other offensive comments. They cause people to do two things, lose faith in the happily ever after, and lose faith in humanity in general.

Which is why y’all are here, right? Expecting me to drop a pearl of wisdom by accident? Well, don’t feel fucking stupid or misled, I mentioned at the beginning this was to help shed light (both serious & funny) on some of the people we might have in our lives. Want my advice? Do whatever works for you and piss on everything else. The end, that’s all the advice I have. As well, that is the only advice I will ever need. My relationship may not look perfect to you but it works perfectly for us.

Dealing With Difficult People In Your Life

I have spent a considerable amount of time, which I sort of consider to be wasted time now, either dealing with difficult people or wondering what is the best way(s) to actually deal with the difficult people I encounter in my daily life. I have spent much quality time being a “people watcher” for many reasons. No, I do not have aspirations of being a great “people whisperer” but I have found that observation and silence are tools that give proven results in my life. Maybe you experience them as well. First, I had to be able to recognize the different kinds of difficult people. Second, I had to develop questions to ask myself about how I wanted to best deal with the difficult people I have in my life. Third, I had to learn different strategies to help me interact with the difficult people in my life. So, I was reading some things I wrote over time which have really been just “notes to self”. I started writing my questions, methods, answers, and strategies down back when I was in the Air Force since I learned that just because I perceived a person as difficult didn’t actually mean that person was difficult. These observations have grown year to year, job to job, marriage to marriage, and as I have aged or matured. So lets begin.

Do you recognize any of these 9 types of people?

• The Know-It-Alls – They are the arrogant and always have an opinion on every single subject. When they are wrong they get very defensive.
• The Passives – These are the people who never have an opinion and never offer a clue to where they stand.
• The Dictators – These people are constantly demanding and are overly brutally critical of others. They enjoy being the intimidating bully.
• The “Yes” People – These people will agree to everything and rarely follow through with any commitment they make. You learn fast that you cannot trust them.
• The “No” People – These are the inflexible people who are very quick to point out why something is wrong and show negativity towards making something work,
• The Gripers – They prefer complaining instead of finding solution because nothing is ever “right” for them to begin with.
• The Extremely Religious – This person has an extreme and unconditional approach with life and people. These are the people who fear their God(s) in such a way they feel they must spread the fear with every word they speak to anyone that will listen.
• The Bullshitter – They are the habitual liars who are habitually undependable in every aspect of their own being.
• The Fucktard – This is an extraordinarily stupid individual who is so willing to disregard all common sense. They are obviously oblivious to everything about everything in every way. This is a person of unbelievable, inexcusable and indescribable stupidity.

Now, I know damn well you recognize each and every one of the people listed above. I know, also, that this is a pretty short list, more “types” can be added of course, as well as sub-categorized. Being able to notice people is the key. These are the people you live with, work with, rely on, and communicate with on a daily basis. Once you recognize what kind of person they are you can develop a strategy to quickly, confidently, and effectively deal with every kind of difficult person. It’s actually easier than it sounds.

Ask yourself the following 20 questions:

1. Do you want to be able to understand the difficult people in your life?
2. Do you want to learn how they think, what they fear, and why they do what they do?
3. Do you want the ability to understand how to make dealing with them less frustrating?
4. Would you like to know specifically what to do and say in every difficult situation?
5. Would you like to be less of a target for the difficult people in your life?
6. Would you like to be able to derail difficult people and teach them to treat you with respect?
7. Do you want to bring out the best or worst in people?
8. Did you know that difficult people are not difficult people all the time?
9. Do you want to know what makes a difficult person tick?
10. Do you want to know why complainers are complaining?
11. Would you like to know how to get people to keep their word to you?
12. Would you like to be able to respond to those who practice one-upmanship?
13. Want to react better when you are being yelled at?
14. Is it possible to be in sync with a difficult person and get along?
15. Do you wish you reacted better when you are criticized unfairly?
16. Do you know when to back down or to hold your ground?
17. What do you do with excuse makers and blamers in your life?
18. Do you wish people didn’t or couldn’t push your “buttons”?
19. Can you give an aggressive person an alternative direction to the aggression and conflict?
20. Did you know that specific “body language” is a more powerful tool than actual words.

In the end I think everyone gets tired of over-blown promises that turn out to just be an empty bucket. You can take control. You can be in charge. You can own what you think and break out of the bad habits that you have created or that have been created by others. Are you one of the 9 types of people I listed? Oddly enough most people are a collective of many types based on the people that surround them. Over time your actions, voice, and personality will become contagious to those who are around you. Toxic people become less of a threat once you understand what makes them the way they are. There are many factors to understanding others and most often begins with understanding oneself first. It is hard to heal a wound that cannot be seen. Now, I know you are waiting for the “punch-line” or the “answer” and unfortunately I don’t have either to offer. I can, however, offer unsolicited advice which shows that tact and skill in handling difficult people become very enviable traits in a person. Changing your ways will be something that is noticed immediately and at that point you have balanced the playing field. Once you realize your own person power over difficult people your confidence in any situation will become one of your best traits. If you take nothing more away from this information just remember to just smile at a difficult person because it will throw them off guard because they will spend endless amounts of time wondering why you are smiling at them. Meanwhile they tend to forget why they were being difficult and often dismiss themselves from the conversation or situation. Personally, I know I can defuse any difficult person by doing two simple things, being silent and smiling. It works.