Trapped Inside Herself

She used to be trapped inside of herself, the past demons cornering her into the alley of darkness hidden deep in the perception of her psyche. She fought the demons, as they surrounded her trying to suppress her and destroy her with the false illusion of her past becoming her reality again. This is what she saw every time she looked in the mirror. She never looked at the girl in the reflection staring back at her. Her focus never seemed to pertain to the aspects of her mortal body. What her attention was zoned on was beyond the flesh and blood of the girl poised in the mirror. She was in her soul that is where she was every time the mirror forced her to look upon the eyes of her being. Perhaps this is where the origin of her new self stemmed from, beginning with the reflections of the soul, creating a raging storm between past demons and the heart deep within, ending with the rebirth of something new. It seemed her past was chasing her. The translucent ghosts of her life in the past had come to combine as a clay and been molded into an entity of “what once was.” She thought they would haunt her forever, stalking the thoughts in her mind, stealing any sense of peace her being may have had contained. These were her demons, taunting her with everything she had been, whispering lies of what she was becoming.

They were grotesque, but she found them beautiful, as she often found many dark disturbing things. Their appearance was something derived from her own imagination. Something she maybe had found in her gruesome wonderland. Black rose vines wrapped around their bodies, skin crafted of the shadows that once clung to her soul and smothered her with her fears. Their teeth were formed of the sharp razors, glinting silver, as she had once used them to pierce her skin, releasing her pain in the scarlet streams flowing outward from beneath her flesh. Their eyes were glossy, cold, and burning red, holding every drop that has ever cascaded down her cheek, and every crimson tear she had ever set free from her flesh. From deep inside they made shrieks that of a banshee, every wave of sound woven together by threads of every scream ever to have escaped her mortal being. Oozing from their mouths was the maroon wine she spilled from her body during her past attempts of erasing herself from this dominion. All these features formed perfectly together and created the Demon Fey standing still like statues, blocking her path out of the grimy alley.

She studied them, ignoring their beastly appearance, focusing only on their internal characteristics. She stared deep into their soul-less eyes, seeing them for what the real purpose of their false existence in her consciousness was. They were shadow tinted mirrors, reflecting the sins, regrets, heartache, and pain of her past. Looking into the reflections, she knew she should’ve ran from them and fled into the fog of the future and the present. Instead, her body refused to obey the request of her logic and slowly moved toward the demons. The demons also seemed daring and invaded the space between them. Their movement was quite gracious, resembling that of a dance. Perhaps they were dancing, their bodies swaying with each step, matching the melody of her past.

Her soul maybe should have felt some sense of fear, but all it felt was welcomed by the demons. It drew her nearer to them, the attraction pulling them together like the gravity between two magnets. The gap between her and the demons grew less and less. Without permission her hand reached out towards them, lightly brushing the skin of the demon nearest to her. At that moment when they had touched, anger-wired adrenaline injected into her body like a syringe filled with heroine. It flowed throughout her being, infesting her psyche with the emotions and instincts of a deranged animal. The atmosphere grew dense with the mists of her hatred, clouding the thoughts flickering through her mind. She closed her eyes and breathed in the haze, letting herself slip into the intensity of her emotions stemming from the past.When she opened her eyes and exhaled it seemed as if her breath paralyzed the universe, stealing the reality of time. The viridian-amber shade once filling her irises with life and being, now painted over with the amaranthine shades of insanity, coloring her eyes hollow. No longer had her own spirit dwelt within her body. Something twisted and deadly was lurking in her being, infesting her veins with madness, devouring her core with a newfound bloodlust.She looks up at the demons, her lips being consumed by a sinister grin. Not only did the insanity possess her soul it, it also began transforming her physical aspects. Her original hair had been about medium length touching just above the middle of her back, the layers gave it volume, adding a seductive characteristic to it. The color was something of a light shade of chestnut intertwined with strands of white, silver, gold, and copper. It looked as if it had been stitched together using fabrics of the sand, stardust, moonlight, sunshine, and the gleam of precious gems. But now insanity had bleached it white and grown it down to her knees. Her face took shape of a more mature structure. Her light pink lips grew plumper and kissed with a hint of deep rouge. Her already pale skin lost most of its pigment and was now pale like the winter snow. Her slender body filled in with curves, bust and hips connected by a smaller waist, forming a body that of a goddess. Ebony raven wings materialized in the space between her shoulder blades, ripping the clothes of her body as they grew to more than 8 feet in height and width.Her new form, driven by insanity, positions itself into a battle stance, knowing they were going to attack. She reaches down to her sides and pulls two swords (fabricated of darkness) from their sheaths. The universe grew still and quiet, every sound and movement hushed out of existence. She stares down her foes, waiting in silence until they make their move.
The demons break the silence, darting toward her with the intentions of a malicious origin. She spreads her wings and soars into the air, demons following close behind her. She stops and turns around, they lunge at her violently, hoping to rip through her flesh and taste the sweetness of her bodily wine. Without effort, she swings her blades, severing the heads of the first group of enemies. More attack, coming at her from all angles. Without fault she defends, her long silver hair syncing to the rhythm of her body as she dances with her blades. She flits through the sky, the light of the moon caressing her skin serves as a spotlight, shimmering over her stage of twilight and mauve. Her blades sing as they leave the demons in crimson ribbons and scarlet rain. Her raven wings flutter and fall, landing her safely on the asphalt. The blood and corpses of her defeated opponents fall to ground like snow. Insanity disappears from her eyes.

She looks up and sees the stars gazing down upon her, sparkling with what seemed to be a hint of hope for her destiny. Without turning back, she walks away, skin flawless and untouched by battle. She smiles knowing her past is dead and that the fate of the stars is wagering in her favor. Running, she spreads her wings and takes flight. Serenity overwhelms her being as she soars away from what had once chained down her soul. Leaving the corpses behind, her past dissipates from her thoughts and her shadow self is swept away from existence. Tonight she is born anew. Today she rises out of the debris and ash of the past as a reborn angel of darkness.

Diablo Scorpion Chili

I don’t know the exact Scoville heat factor for my chili. I know it’s freaking hot. This, ironically, is how the name Diablo Scorpion came about. It burns like hell going in and has a pretty wicked sting coming out as well. Why people like it is beyond me, but they do. I make chili year round, at least once a month, if not more because of the holidays. It’s my wife’s favorite dish that I make. She would eat it all the time if I would make it. These days, I have become smarter. I make roughly 3 gallons of chili at a time. She has a meal of it the first day, we keep out another meals worth in the fridge, and then I freeze the rest in two serving size bowls for her to pull out and heat up at her leisure. I have been making this version of my chili for about 25 years. I make others, inspired in part where I have lived in the past and the flavor influences of that region of the world.

So, what makes it hot? The ingredients, the slow simmering of the flavors, and the fact (my opinion) that I grow most of my ingredients and I have my own chili powder blend that I have mastered over the years. I will pass on the chili powder mix when I am unable to cook someday. The rest I am going to give to you as my way of giving back to so many people that have helped me over the years with great dish and meal ideas. It’s funny, I enter quite a few chili cook offs here locally in the Houston area. I have won a few over the years, but not all. I do get quite a few placements just for heat. The heat will numb your teeth, gums, tongue, inside of your mouth, and your throat within the first two bites, and then you can enjoy the flavor. So, if you don’t mind sweating while you eat, this is the perfect chili for you. I must give one absolute warning that always must be adhered to. Never, under any circumstances, get this chili in, near, or around your eyes because it has about the same effect as U.S. Military Grade Pepper Spray. As a personal warning, I do not recommend breathing, burping, farting, or any other expellation of gases in or around any open flame source.

So, you want to make my chili? First you will need the ingredients. As mentioned, almost everything I use is homegrown and fresh off the bush. Grown in my garden are Jalapeno Peppers, Serrano Peppers, Habanero Peppers, Tomatoes, Green Chiles, and Mushrooms. However, if you cannot provide fresh, I guess store bought or even canned/jarred will work also. Gives me the shudders just thinking that my chili would be made from a can. So, the ingredients list first, and then I will give instruction on preparation and cooking. This recipe is based on about a 3 gallon yield, so you might have to scale the portions if needed. For those of you who cook, there should be no problem.

Diablo Scorpion Chili

4 cup Jose Cuervo Silver Tequila
5 lbs Lean Ground Beef
2 cup Jalapeno Peppers, sliced and chopped
2 cup Serrano Peppers, sliced and chopped
½ cup Ghost Peppers, chopped finely
½ cup Red Savina Habanero Peppers, chopped finely
2 cup Green Chile Peppers, chopped finely
2 cup Mushrooms, sliced (optional)
2 cup Black Olives, sliced (optional)
2 cup Green Olives, sliced (optional)
3 can Red Kidney Beans (optional)
6 lrg Tomatoes diced to preference
¼ cup Tabasco Sauce (pick your own flavor, I use the Original)
¼ cup Salt
¼ cup Pepper (I use white ground)
3 cup Chili dry mix (my secret, see below for alternate dry ingredients that will be substituted)
5 pkg Chili Mix (found in the store with the gravy)
1 tbs Onion Powder (or Onion Salt)
1 tbs Garlic Powder (or Garlic Salt)

1 tbs Lemon and Herb mix spice
½ cup Chili Powder
½ cup Granulated Sugar (optional) (see note)
8 cup Water (tap or bottled, your choice) (add or decrease based on thickness desired.)
Note: You can add about 1/2 cup of sugar also, if you want, it helps take off some of the edge without messing up the flavor or making it sweet.


Chop/ slice/ dice everything that needs to have it done, be sure to keep all juices, seeds, and skins with it. Drain and rinse beans.

Brown ground beef, add in 2 cups of tequila, jalapeno peppers, Serrano peppers, Habanero peppers, and chiles. When ground beef is browned, do not drain.

Add everything else including the other two cups of tequila Use the amount of water you wish to get your desired thickness. Chili mix will thicken some as it cooks and blends under heat. Bring the entire chili mixture to a boil, stirring lightly. Let boil ten minutes then turn down the heat, cover, and let it simmer to stew and meld all the ingredients (stirring on occassion) for 1 ½ to 2 hours for best flavor results.

And now you have Diablo Scorpion Chili, enjoy.