How Would You Answer This Question?


I would slowly take my Android phone out of my shirt pocket and place it flat in my hand. I would explain that this device gave me access to infinite knowledge that is gathered from every conceivable place on planet Earth. This device allows someone to access almost every conceivable piece of information known to mankind. If this person doesn’t pass out I would ho on to explain that most people who own this or similar devices only use about 1/2% of its full capabilities because 90% of the time it is used to engage others on social media networks. Then we would do a group selfie so I could put it on Facebook. I think then I would show this person my microwave and HDTV. Might even give the person a tour of the Xbox 360 just to blow his mind.

There are many more modern items I could do show and tell with, but we would probably jump in my H1 to head down to the Marble Slab for a bit of ice cream, which I would use my debit card or PayPal to complete the purchase. While we are our ice cream I would answer (if I could without Googling) all of his questions. I can’t even begin to grasp the questions this person might have. Later I would probably have to introduce him to my margarita machine and afterwards we could soak in the hot tub because I am sure he is going to need a moment or three.

Okay, I wrote this post as a jest because I was emailed that question and it really made me think about the simple conveniences we have in 2014 that they did not have back in the 50’s. In all honesty tho, the first thing I would do is show this person my cell phone. If that won’t blow somebody’s mind as a first taste then nothing would. So, here we are at the end of my blog post and I will ask all of y’all what you could show or tell a person who just appears from the 1950’s? Give it some thought and reply below. As always, thanks for stopping by The Sting Of The Scorpion.


Who Does This To People?

Who takes the time to write a nasty sarcastic note and place it under a person’s windshield wiper? Do the Eco-Nazis have nothing better to do with their time then harass people because of what they drive? Before I get too deep into why I’m writing this morning let me just say that shit like this really doesn’t piss me off since stupid people judge others without actually knowing what the fuck they are talking about. It’s a bit annoying tho. Just so happens I did drive my Hummer H1 to work this morning because I had to pick up some bottled water and ice for the warehouse. It was more than I could even think about trying to carry on my Goldwing. So, the choice was made so I could pick up 24 cases of water and 36 bags of ice to take in to work. And yes, I do have disabled veteran (DV) handicap license plates on my H1. Yes, I do park in a handicap parking space.

I think what irritates me the most is the size of balls people have in today’s world. Why do people care so much about what other people have and the things they do not. Who’s business is it what I drive? I wonder what they noticed first, that my H1 is fire engine red, that I was parked in a handicap space, or the fact that I have DV plates? Because all three things seemed to be a factor in this note someone took the time to write. Which brings me to my next point. Someone made the conscious choice to leave me this note. They had to of walked by my H1, had their brain fart idea, went to their car, wrote out a note, walked back to my H1, and politely placed the note under my windshield wiper. That takes planned thought and executed dedication to go all the way. Unfortunately the pussy didn’t leave any contact information so we could discuss his/her concerns. Hell, they were so proud of what they had to say they didn’t even put their name. Takes a brave motherfucker to have the balls to leave a note on an innocent shopper’s vehicle. And for what? Because I drive an H1? Don’t these Eco-Nazis have anything at all better to do with their time? Actually, I don’t know they were Eco-Nazis since they don’t say. For all I know it was someone who is jealous of one of the things mentioned. Or, somewhere they were wronged by someone who drives a HUMMER H1 and have been waiting to unleash backlashtic hell on someone innocent. What a fucktard!

I have given this some thought and decided I wanted to breakdown and analyze this great reminder why some people should not breed. One day natural selection will catch up with them and when it does Karma will take over and set things right. Life itself is a vicious circle of a bitch and it does come around to bite the stupids in the ass. It’s nice to know that people are still willing to write a note. I would be willing to bet that they even took the time to take a picture of the work so they could Tweet about it and then update their Facebook status. “Check this shit out bro, I showed this asshole!” Well, according to the note, they observed the size and the color of my H1 correctly. I don’t know that I would call it a giant, but it is large and it is red. The rest is just someone being mean spirited. Hey, I wish I wasn’t a disabled vet, I wish I had the knees I was born with, and I wish the mere action of walking wasn’t so fucking painful. We won’t even get into the penis envy thing.

So, why do I drive this giant red HUMMER H1? My question to you is why the fuck would you even care? I should mention this all took place in the parking lot of a big box grocery store in the back of the neighborhood I live in. I have never seen a beater car in the parking lot, ever. Wherever you look you will see Lexus, Mercedes, BMW, Corvette, Porche, Cadillac, Audi, HUMMER H2 & H3, and so on. So, I can rule out that they were singling me out because I drove a cheap beater piece of shit. I suppose at this point I really don’t care because the note was cute and humorous to me personally. When I first got this H1 I was at a different store, I still had paper tags for a license plate and some fucktard thought it would be funny to flatten one of my tires. What the fucktard didn’t realize, out of stupidity I suppose, that it came equipped with self sealing run flat dual tube insert tires that cannot be deflated the old fashion way. In fact, I got a souvenir knife out of the deal since they jabbed the serrated blade in and couldn’t get it back out. I guess in the end we all get what we want. I searched the continental United States for months to locate this specific year model and color H1 because this is the one I wanted. I wasn’t going to “settle” for another color or year model and I was prepared not to ever find one that was actually for sale. The person that wrote the note, I can only assume, got some kind of satisfaction out of it. I’m about ready to give up trying to figure out people in general because there is always one person that ruins what I enjoy about being me and that is individuality.

So, anyway, I just thought I would share this gem of a note from one of my fellow humans. Stupid shit like this makes me think. My wife wondered if it pissed me off any. My answer? Nope, just annoyed me a bit since I had to get back out of the H1 and go to the passenger side to remove it from the windshield. C’est la vie!