When The Vultures Came To Dinner

Last night as the sun was setting behind the trees which surround the creek behind my house I was down by the pond rolling up a water hose when I saw the most bizarre scene. I have lived in this house since we had it built back in 2003 and I can’t recall ever seeing vultures either in the sky or on the ground around here. I could smell rotting flesh somewhere close but couldn’t see anything immediately. I keep seeing flashes in the shadows over the trees and when I look up I see 20 plus vultures on the decent spiral so I followed where they were going. I sent a text to my son to grab the case that has the twins and where to meet me. Within a matter of minutes he was by my side and we were on the hunt for what was dead and for dinner for the vultures. Soon enough we could hear grunting and flapping so we knew we were really close. At the edge of the trees on the creek side there is a small yet significant clearing where different animals congregate to feed in the evenings and in the mornings, mostly deer this time of year. As the vultures moved around trying to find their space to feed it became clear that this was a young doe they were feeding on. It had to have wandered in here wounded or something because I was out here over the weekend and the area was clear as we walked down to the creek.

Which just shows how remarkably fast vultures respond to the freshly dead. I don’t know allot about vultures and as we noticed these were not large birds since their wingspan was under five foot. We assembled at the edge of the trees where we considered ourselves out of sight so we could watch them. After about fifteen minutes the breeze shifted and was blowing the stench in our direction. It was time to move on. Watching the birds feed reminded me that it would be dinner time by the time we would get back to the house. My wife asked us what we were doing but I told her it would be better to discuss it after dinner, so she agreed to wait. What a coincidence, we were having venison as well for dinner. After dinner my son was the one telling the story of how the great black vultures descended from the skies to gather for their feast on the doe carcass. He tells it like an old west story, it was humorous to listen to and entertaining to watch as he imitated their flight around the living room. He was all smiles because of his adventure and seeing vultures for the very first time in person, really up close and personal.

This morning I could smell the rotting flesh up around the house as I was leaving to go to work. I hope they finish the doe carcass off through out the day because I really don’t want to have to go down there with my tractor and move it further down the river. I don’t look forward to that at all. But, it the smell is still hanging out that close to the house it will become the inevitable move to make. Hopefully mother nature will clean up her mess so I don’t have to get involved. My son took the pictures because he wanted to do show and tell today for one or more of his classes. I wish I could be there to hear how well he tells the story. I will have to ask him to tell us all again tonight after dinner.

Sweet Wine From My Grapevine

Over the years one thing that has always stood true is the fact that I know allot of people both in and out of the United States Air Force. This comes in very handy as a resource from time to time. Most of the time it isn’t personal, it’s just things people thought I might find interesting. It has also been a valued resource when trying to locate people that can never be matched by none other. Last week I found out some things that shocked the shit out of me because I never, in a thousand years, thought it would happen the way it did. Such is life right, sometimes we get proven wrong beyond our wildest dreams. Before we talk about the fantastically surprising yet fitting news, we must first explore the pre-cursor of the career, the actual career, and the ultimate demise of that career of the woman I will be discussing. So, if you think you are ready then lets kick the tires and light the fires to get this story in the air.

Back in the 90s there was a young mother who didn’t want to work so she struck a deal with her husband. The deal? She decided to go to college to pursue a career as a social worker. She promised her husband that this was a great idea and when he would eventually retire she could be the support for the family. Push forward a few years now. Just prior to receiving her Master Social Worker degree the marriage fell apart and eventually had to be dismantled in the best interests of everyone involved. Push forward even more you say? After getting her LMSW (Licensed Master Social Worker) she applied and was granted entrance into the United States Air Force. Afterwhich she guilted their only daughter into moving out from her father’s house and into her own. Shortly after having the sole custody of father case overturned she had the husband (at least on official government paperwork) declared deceased which granted her special hardship privileges since she was a single mother whom was widowed.

The careerfield she chose was so hard up for people that they waived the age restriction of 35 (she was to turn 35 shortly before entering). She was also provided an enlistment bonus (I won’t disclose how much because it will just piss you off) in exchange for an eight year commitment. She would also start her new career as a Captain (0-3), skipping the rank of 2nd Lieutenant (0-1) and 1st Lieutenant (0-2) altogether. She bit that like she was a ravenous vulture ripping apart a decaying carcass. She made many friends in a variety of positions which always guaranteed that she stayed stateside and most assuredly never having to do a remote or hazardous duty tour due to her hardship status. Time passes and she found it possible to increase her rank another two times, Major (0-4) and finally a very fresh (like under 60 days fresh) new Lieutenant Colonel (0-5). Just imagine with me now, she did all of this within 8 years 7 months and 18 days. There are those of you scratching your heads right now because either you don’t understand how long rank takes to acquire or you do know how long it takes to acquire rank. Either way, it was accomplished at the fucking speed of light.

Recently, she decided to early retire. But wait, it gets better. She retired for FREE because she hadn’t been in long enough to get a retirement of any sort from the Air Force. Wait, it gets even better. Want to know why she got out? She had two long time friends who both recently retired after giving 30+ years of service to the Air Force each. They were the muscle and guarantee that she never had to do a duty she didn’t want to. But, seems just before they retired a little birdie blabbed to the Air Force that not only was she never a widow, but her daughter lives in another state and is a mother herself. Oops. Anyway, her name came up to go to Qatar for 2 years. There was nobody to “save” her from going, so she just quit the Air Force. She has since, within the last month, moved to another state where she can be a private social worker in private practice. She will not even tell her daughter where she is living.

Now, perhaps you are wondering why any of this gossip of a career gone south would make a hill of beans to me. I’ll tell you why, I am the deceased husband. Most of this I already knew over the years, up to the point that she exited the Air Force rather abruptly within the last few months instead of going on the tour to Qatar. I have mixed thoughts about her. In my mind she is still the same back stabbing cunt that led us down the destructive road of divorce. On the other hand it would seem that it was her time to dance with this bitch we all know as karma who also thought she was a cunt and decided to treat her like one. Either way, she loses. No, I don’t win, but man is this some fun shit to watch unfold over the years. Wow, wait until my oldest daughter reads this post. Good thing I already called her.