What Does Time To Myself Really Mean?


It is not very often that I actually have time to myself. When it happens it just does that, it happens. On or around my deceased father’s birthday I tend to take a little time to myself in a quiet and peaceful place. This has been a habit of mine since May of 1984. Its not to do anything special and it isn’t because I am looking for something to happen. I know what happens every year and I am pretty sure it will never change. Through out the many years since his death I have found that my version of reflection and remembrance works for me and that is really all that matters. I have never asked my family to understand any of it except for it will happen towards the end of every May. This year he would have been 79 years old.

As far as the picture goes that was all my wife. She had seen me walk down to the river from the kitchen window and when it seemed that I hadn’t come back, well, she came looking for me. As I stood near the bank watching the reflections in the ripples of water I get a text. When I see it is from my wife I open it thinking she must be wondering where I am for some reason. Then I see she has sent me a picture of me standing at the river with a text that asks what am I doing. What am I doing? Good question. She joined me, standing by my side, holding my hand. We stood there in silence for a while, just enjoying the sunset. One of the great things I really appreciate about her is she understands that some things do not get talked through, a great sunset and the songs she knows I really like. I have never asked her to be silent but I appreciate that she sees that I don’t want to be spoken to or interrupted every once in a while.

Before y’all ask, I don’t know nor can I explain the reflections in the picture. Yes I have noticed them. All I can figure is it is the sun and shadows hitting the back of her phone.