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Something Serious I Wish To Say

For the most part people do not visit The Sting Of The Scorpion blog because it is a serious place to visit. Because the tempo around here usually focuses on the humor in life and my sarcasm towards it all. That’s just where this blog is, it started there and has continued to evolve in that direction for the most part. However, there are days such as today that remind me I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I didn’t first have a past. A past, you ask? Well, yes, every single person has someone they used to be. I’m one of the lucky ones, I’m one of the people who survived his military service, and I, not unlike thousands, are no different in our outer appearance than the next person. Meaning? If you were not informed I am an Air Force veteran who was involved in Desert Storm or The Liberation of Kuwait then you could never tell by merely looking at me. Involvement? I built and serviced munitions (bombs and bullets) while on both tours, as well as my normal peacetime job. Now you know something new about me personally. One might also see the DV handicap license plates on my vehicles (disabled veteran) when I am out in public.

What does all of this matter anyway, right? I had two separate encounters today, one in the real world and one here in cyberspace, where, someone who doesn’t “know” me thanked me for my service. The first time today, I was getting out of my vehicle at Walmart and a woman and her 11 y/o son were walking by. She stopped and waited for me at the rear of my H1, she extended her hand to shake mine while she began thanking me for my service to our country. If that was not enough for me to have to hold back tears, I see below me, her young son giving me a full on military style salute. This entire encounter moved me, when she and her son moved on I had to take a minute to collect myself, and that included the wiping of some tears. She said something that haunts me a bit though. She asked if I have DV plates why I was parked so deep in the parking lot and not in the clearly open spaces at the front. Why? Why indeed. Then she mentioned that she sees people parking in handicap who clearly don’t need to be, she says this as she is looking at my scarred and abused right knee and leg. I never had the chance to tell her that I walk these distances because it is added exercise I get to help with my diabetes, which is why I walk.

My second encounter happens today also, but here in cyberspace. I’m not going mention her name or anything like that here because our conversations are private. I know she knows I am talking about her, what she doesn’t know is that for a second time in a single day I found myself wiping a tear from my eyes. Which is rough in its own because I wear contacts. I’m very gracious for the thank yous and the well wishes, but it made me think, how once again, I am one of the lucky ones in my own eyes. My point here, is simple and complicated, I have never met her I’m person, yet I really feel she understands what it means to be a veteran. We have exchanged some of our background and when she speaks of her experiences with veterans I can really relate as I think she can also relate to me. Over time I have begun to have a true fondness for her. Don’t tell her though, she might think I’m cyberstalking her or something which is not the case. I just wanted her to know I appreciate how she has touched the lives of many veterans, and she has helped me and touched my life as well. Thank you H.

I think I will close this out now before I choose not to post it altogether. Blogging truly is the cheapest form of therapy there is out there. The top picture was borrowed from the internet. The bottom picture is indeed my own personal right knee. As one can see, I have had a few surgeries involving my service related injury, the last being a knee replacement a few years ago. Which, as fate would have it, is failing, hence my current dealings with the VA, in fact, the saga will continue tomorrow as I have an appointment with a VA orthopedic specialist. Yes, that is Tigger’s head. No, you may not ask me about it. Btw, that picture was taken a few hours ago, so yea, its pretty current.

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Secrets From The Ancient Scrolls

In an effort to look into the pride felt by us in the United States Air Force AMMO community, added below is an excert from the ancient and honorable scrolls.

Thus it is written in the talismanic scroll concerning AMMO… in the begininning the universe was formless and void. Then was ordained the “Big Bang” and so AMMO was. Through antiquitity even until today, the world has trembled at the roar of AMMO’s power. The walked cities and the strong towers continue to fall beneath the onslaught of our awsome might. Moving like a mighty tidal wave across the world, AMMO conquered the unconquerable and brought low those weilding indiscriminate power. Our charge for the future is as it has been in the times past: supply those in the right with the power to protect and fight for the right. Until all live as brothers in the world where we have space and peace only, AMMO will live. So it was spoken…so it is written in the scroll…so shall it be…! AMMO

 

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We No Longer Will Be Silent!

Yesterday I stumbled across this very helpful information that Bryant Teetor took the time to not only share on his Facebook wall but also in a Facebook group which was designed to help veterans looking for answers. I obtained permission to share the below information from Bryant Teetor so if it helped you or you appreciate the information please comment here and please pay him a visit. I will be sharing this post via Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and Blogcatalog. I urge everyone reading this information to reblog it and share it in as many places as possible because many veterans sit in silence, in misery, and alone not knowing others are trying to help them. I appreciate everyone’s help, and like Bryant Teetor, I hope this information helps any veteran seeking better answers. The following text and photo belong to Bryant Teetor with permission to spread it anywhere and everywhere. He gets a giant Thank You from me personally.

I hope that this helps at least one VETERAN…that is success! Have a problem getting an appointment? Is it in a reasonable amount of time? Are you willing to wait or is it worth the wait based on seriousness of condition? (Originally posted by Bryant Teetor via Facebook). Steps I use when I dont like the wait and feel like Im getting blown off, kicked to the curb….and I Hope the VA staff is reading!

1. Login to healthyvet and send a secure message to your PCP (Primary care physician). [My PCP’s nurse 100% of the time is the person who opens and responds to my messages]

2. Dont wait on a response. CALL your PCP’s office and ask to speak to his nurse. Leave a message on nurses voicemail. Dont stop calling until you speak to her or until she returns your call… 2 days is long enough to wait…if it takes more time than that, go to #4.

3. Discuss the extensive wait time you have been forced into and let her know that is NOT ACCEPTABLE. Ask for her to add a note to your records “Requesting your PCP to input a referral request to Non VA Coordinated Care (aka Fee Basis) for approval of a civilian specialist/doctor visit and at least 2 follow-ups.”

4. If step #2 failed, go talk to your PCP’s nurse or the doctor in person (sit and wait till it happens) and inform them of your request. Deliver your request to them in writing as well.

5. You can also send your request by mail as back-up. The office staff of your PCP or the nurse, should give you their direct fax #, which you can also use. Mark your request Attn to [your Nurse’s name] and [For your PCP’ name].

6. Keep original correspondence in a safe place…easy to find. I scan everything into files on my computer and have numerous back-ups on USB drives and Discs. You can also Get and use these free cellphone Apps: ACR (auto phone recorder) and PE COACH (legel audio recorder for doctor and therapy visits + numerous other useful features).

7. Be a WARRIOR to yourself. Don’t be a do nothing sit on your ass defeated veteran about the VA’s bad treatment to you. NEVER GIVE UP OR SETTLE FOR LESS THAN YOU FEEL YOU DESERVE. You are your own best ADVOCATE!

8. WTF are you still reading this for? Why haven’t you started with #1 already?

Posted From Scorpion Sting’s Motorola Droid Maxx!

Thanks For ALL The Great Emails!

When I began checking my email this morning I realized how much email accumulates in 24 hours and have noticed the daily increase over the past several months. On a daily basis I sit down to over 250 unique emails and twice that in spam that is actually filtered, caught, and segregated. It typically boils down to 100 or so legitimate blog related messages which I read and respond to as needed. Why is this all important? It shows me that people are not only visiting my blog but they ate reading as well. In fact, a fair amount of what is posted (refers to “pictures” or graphics) comes from visitors wanting to share. I can never say thank you enough for those. Let’s just say I get many stories, pictures, ideas, and comments that are ALL greatly appreciated.

Which leads me to want to answer some common questions I get to help everyone out. Yes, I refer visitors to explore the links/tabs at the very top of the blog and the links to the right for a shotgun blast of information about me and this blog. Yes, I am a retired disabled United States Air Force veteran who has seen some bizarre shit all over the world and I like to talk about most of it here. Yes, for many years I have been a real life bartender and much of that time was spent working in a full nude strip club. Yes, the bartender stories I write were told to me in person at one given time or another. Yes, I will put your Magic Weekend story here on my blog, that’s why I have that particular feature. Yes, I am aware I use colorful graphic language, it is often a direct reflection of how I speak in real life. No, I am not a professional writer and I choose not to use a spell checker. Yes, Bearknuckle is a real Atlanta based band and yes, I do consider them to be quite badass and fantastically talented. Yes, I will put just about anything up here on my blog if I personally like it or personally find it interesting. Yes, everyone’s email is always welcome.

I think I will break it off there. I just wanted to take the time to publcally thank everyone who has been taking the time to email me for a multitude of reasons because I really do appreciate each and every one of them. Well, except the spam, I could actually live without spam emails. Again, thank y’all so much for the continued support.

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Oh No! Not The U.S. Air Force!

Reflections Of My Military Past

My son wanted to have a few words with me about my military service so he could do an essay on a relative who has been in the military. Not unlike my on-line life, I don’t talk much about myself personally and how I was affected by different aspects of my time in the United States Air Force. Sure, I talk about places I’ve seen or people I have met but I rarely talk about the uglier side of having served. Even after all the years I still don’t know exactly how to put it into words and make it understandable. I have never chose to block out certain things but I do put them way back in a dark place where they won’t be bothered. These things make me angry, they make me sad, they still confuse me a bit, and I think they will always be uncomfortable for me to talk about to someone face to face. I asked my son if he would let me take the opportunity to just write down some things and he can pick and choose what he feels is useable and appropriate. The following is what I wrote.

“There are things that I just can’t explain. There are things I don’t yet understand. There are still things that I may never try to comprehend. There are things that one can not understand unless they have been a soldier because they have not been touched in the same way. There are things that I have seen and done which were said to be for the country I have served. I was taken, as many were, to be trained to build weapons which are used to destroy man, machine, land, and structure. We were not trained of the aftermath. We were not trained to witness the destruction of our weapons that have functioned flawlessly. We were trained that it is a great day when our weapons function as designed. We were not trained to see or cope with the awful sights of destruction that was accomplished by the weapons we built. We were not trained how to unsee the things we have seen. We were not trained how to not let these sights keep us awake at night.

I have learned to not discuss the wounds I have, some physical, some mental, and some which can’t be explained. There is not training for dealing with life after seeing the weapons I have built function as designed. The wounds of our bodies heal in time but the wounds to the mind have no cure. I have to live with my demons now and for every day until I pass. I have learned to put my hurts behind me. I still feel things that hurt me deep to my core but I have learned that people don’t understand because they have not seen what I have seen. I have found, not by choice, that there are memories which are blocked because I know I don’t want to remember them, I don’t have a need in my life to relive certain aspects of my prior life. I am very proud to have served my country in the United States Air Force and have very deep respect and admiration for anyone who makes the choice to serve in our Nation’s military. I try not to dwell on friends I have lost, those who have paid the price in full, and I know that it is because of we choose to serve that we protect the future of freedom for many generations to come.”

My son copied word for word what I wrote in seclusion into a handwritten two paragraph essay which he was very pleased to turn into his teacher. He informed his mother, with tears in his eyes, that he did not care what grade he would receive because he just was happy to turn in the words of his dad. He walked to me, reached out to me, hugged me with a squeeze I had never felt from anyone, and then he looked up to me with a sad face to say “I’m sorry dad, I love you no matter what”. I didn’t want to let him go, I didn’t want the feeling to ever end. He gave me a new memory that day, a memory of a son’s love for his father, it is unconditional.