Originally Published To: Hate Mail on 14 May 2013
We have allot to cover today. It seems that we have some seriously unhappy motherfuckers lurking out in la-la-land who need a better hobby. I’m here to help you sad bitches. If you take this message personally………..well………..fuck you because you really need to be offended by someone, anyone. Yes, I’m the person who needs to offend you because you are fucking stupid and you write to me like I really am going to cherish what the fuck you have to say. Boo the fuck hoo! There is no nice way to put it, you’re just fucking stupid. I used to think that I had a high tolerance for other people’s bullshit but I think some of y’all try to exceed my capacity on a very regular basis.. Again, I offer all the easily offended with the world around you to please put your head back up your ass and we can call it even, no harm no foul. But, no, it is impossible for you to be happy so you think (ha ha ha) that you need to spread your “joy” around whether people are interested or not. I would like to thank most of you who are proud enough to e-mail or message me with a legit e-mail address and/or website and then have the big fat brass balls to put your name on it. This makes it easy for someone as lazy as me to look around and see if you are an asshole wherever you roam (troll) on the internet.
As I mentioned, we have allot to cover today since the badgers have been busy lately. In fact, and this should make the retards (yes you) very happy, I have to spend a considerable amount of time filtering out all of their bullshit not only from here on my blog(s), but on Facebook, my e-mail, and Pinterest as well. Y’all have spread like a disease. In fact that is the name I have given to my hater fans, “The Disease”, since your goal in life is to infect and spread without control or regulation. You idiots should be feeling a sense of pride and unity right now but you are probably to fucking stupid to know this honor has been bestowed upon all of you. Unfortunately you have no leader and shall continue to chase your ass around in circles looking for your answers. Remember the old Budweiser commercials, well, my friends, This Fukitol Is For You, take it proudly! The answer is no by the way, I say F-U-C-K all the time as it is a part of my given vocabulary, so you just need to fucking deal with the fucking fact I say FUCK all the time. I’m also really fond of FUCKTARD as well, but not all of y’all have reached FUCKTARD status yet. If your status changes I will be sure to fucking let you cry babies know the news. Stick around bitches, the fun is about to start. Are you patient enough to read it all? Will you just skim through this post like you do the rest? Will you take the time to know I take the time to read each and every e-mail and message that y’all take the time to send? The sit the fuck down, the fun is about to start!
First of all I would like to address a common concern and question that the blowhards seem to be obsessed with all the time. Yes, stupid, I am talking to you specifically. I write about what is in my life or directly effects my life. I don’t write about puppies and daisies because they don’t have a place in my life. I have seen some of your blogs and I fell asleep after the first few lines because you write about shit I don’t care about to say the very least. I don’t iron my sheets or bake delicate pastries so your blog is of very little use to me. Also, I don’t belong to your Jesus cult so your brainwashing doesn’t work on me since I am not one of the sheeple who cares. In reality, the place I live everyday, I have no time for fairytales because I am pretty grounded in my beliefs so I won’t be needing yours. You will probably never get me to stop saying the words fuck, bullshit, shit, fucktard, asshole, pussy, or christian sheeple. I really don’t see the need to stop therefore I probably won’t. But, if that fact ever changes, you pussies will be the first ones I formally inform with the change in information so you can properly document your personal victory in your supreme fight against vulgarity. Deep down, I think you just want to fuck me until we both bleed but don’t know how to process those feelings. Just my personal theory since I know people exactly like you in the real world where I live. I know right ………GASP!
Now, on to why I am here today. I am here today just for you. I have read the e-mails and messages, plus deleted all of them from posts, so I could put your name in lights right here. Ok, there are no lights, but I did doodle your bullshit with a red Sharpie earlier. I hope that counts. Or, do you have something against using a Sharpie marker to write and doodle. Yes, I know I spent entirely too much time in my life drinking. Which is why I can write about it so candidly. No, I did not secretly find Jesus and confess all my sins to him so I could be absolved of all my worldly sins as some of y’all have suggested. I did, however, find the bottom of a bottle one morning and decided I didn’t ever want to be staring at that ever again feeling the way I did at that time. It was a personal moment where I realized that I was done, period. Had nothing to do with anything anyone suggested while suggesting I was lieing because I was indeed afraid of the truth. Sorry that my truth doesn’t fit in your book of ways to be brainwashed, but it happened that way. Yes, it was simple. Yes, I can live with myself now. There is a reason everything happens, that reason doesn’t always have to involve Jesus. Might I recommend living your own life. I don’t say this to offend you directly, but you will take offense anyway, but life is worth living, my life is the way it is and I am okay with it. I don’t need a 12 step program to help me get thru it all. Yes, I still drink on occasion. No, I don’t drink heavy in hopes of finding my answers in the bottom of the bottle because I know the answers are not there. No, I do not think drinking caused my divorce. I think the defining moment that caused my divorce was the simple fact that I found my wife with a dick in her mouth and it wasn’t mine. Wait, you probably skimmed over that part and decided that all divorces are the asshole man’s fault. I do not take responsibility for my ex getting caught with another man’s dick in her mouth. If any of y’all are married, imagine to yourself right now with another man’s dick in your mouth and your husband catches you with this dick in your mouth. Will you be thinking that it is his fault? Nevermind, I know what your answer is already. Which is fucking pitiful that you can’t take responsibility for what you are doing. But, then, that’s what this is all about right, taking responsibility for one’s actions?
Since we are the subject of bitching and complaining about what other people choose to put on their blogs then I should mention that I don’t fucking need your permission. Sadly, y’all don’t just find shit wrong with The Sting Of The Scorpion, but y’all little weasels find a need to bitch and moan about what I put on Pictures & Things as well. Which makes me ask, don’t y’all have a sense of humor. Wait, this question has been answered. The answer is that I have some kind of demented sense of humor and that was said like it was to hurt my feeling and insult me. I think that it might have backfired, I took it as a flattering compliment, so thank you. I just collect things, I don’t make them up, which goes to show that there are more people who live in the real world just like me who see the fucked up side of life as well. You do know that everything in life isn’t just peachy, right? If you think it is then you need to head down to your local Walmart and check out how the other 99% of people live. You think I’m fucked up? Just take a gander of what society has to offer you locally and you will soon realize how out of the loop you really are. Now, wipe your tears, change your diaper, feed all 47 of your cats, and get the fuck out of your house and get a life. Lighten up people, this isn’t brain surgery. If you get a little afraid of sarcasm and truth all mixed up then maybe you need to pursue a career as a politician or a social worker. I cannot hold your hands any longer, I will not coddle you no more. I hereby pull the tit from your mouth and cast you out into the world. The safety is off now bitches so keep your fingers off the fucking trigger unless you aim to kill. By the way, yes, in fact, my fucking spell checker is disabled so suck it! Oh……wait, I almost forgot, I picked up your prescription of 1000mg Fukitol this morning. You should stop whatever the fuck you are doing right now and take a whole handful. Good Job! Now we can both feel better about your existence.